The thread for bits from old shows that you refer to and nobody ever gets

[Kodos]

I have been known to refer to the "phone cops" from time to time, and usually get a blank stare from everyone except my brother.

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[panerd]

I make Seinfeld references with my sixth grade graders all the time. I always answer our classroom phone "Yeah, go." (Well at least when I see who it is on the caller ID :) ) And they thought my joke about a kid digging through the trash "That's what separates man from bum" was all me and not Jerry Seinfeld.

[rowech]

Fawlty Towers has countless references for our family. Seinfeld has quite a few and one that my wife and I quote back and forth a lot is Everybody Loves Raymond.

[Logan]

I feel very old now that I read someone describing Seinfeld as an "old show where no one gets the references".

[Butter]

Nobody Home - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9ucJAV3rVU)

At about 2:35 in this video, the Kids in the Hall head crusher asks a taxi driver "So, what do you want me to do about it, Mr. Guy?"

I use "Mr. Guy" a lot, but nobody knows why.

[Dr. Sak]

The two Seinfeld references that get me blank stares:

"Well the jerk store called and they're running out of you!"

"Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see?"

[Butter]

"Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see?"

If you say it in the same voice that Kramer used, I would crack up every time. I still use that one too, but my wife gets it.

[Sublime 2]

"Gimme that (insert object)! I'm back, BABY!"
Frank Costanza

[cuervo72]

If you say it in the same voice that Kramer used, I would crack up every time. I still use that one too, but my wife gets it.

I'll drop that one every now and then too.

"My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone!" is pretty popular in our house.

[Chief Rum]

My brother and I are constantly dropping Simpsonisms, such as when someone seems to make up a word or does something word-stupid, we'll say, "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Or like yesterday, when I was talking about Keaton Ellerbe of the Kings, and I asked if he was related to the Oilers forward, and my brother, realizing I was thinking of Jordan Eberle, responded, "Unlikely, sir, they spell AND pronounce their names differently."

[Draft Dodger]

Fletch is a movie, but I use lines from it all the time. The one that gets the blank stares is when I'm looking at a photo and I point to it and say "and that's the dog that bit me".

I have both of my kids saying "right turn, Clyde" a lot

[sterlingice]

My brother and I are constantly dropping Simpsonisms, such as when someone seems to make up a word or does something word-stupid, we'll say, "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Or like yesterday, when I was talking about Keaton Ellerbe of the Kings, and I asked if he was related to the Oilers forward, and my brother, realizing I was thinking of Jordan Eberle, responded, "Unlikely, sir, they spell AND pronounce their names differently."

Two that I use quite a bit. Hell, there's a ton of Golden Age Simpsons that I will quote from time to time because they're so darn apt for a given situation

SI

[Warhammer]

Faulty Towers
"Yes Dear, Doing it Dear."
"This is MINE!"
"Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright."

[MacroGuru]

I have both of my kids saying "right turn, Clyde" a lot

Are they sticking their arm out the window when they do it?

[Fidatelo]

"Hmm Hmm hiimmmmmmmm"

[fantom1979]

I can't find the clip right now, but there is a WKRP in Cincinnati episode where they have a Thanksgiving promo by throwing turkeys out of a helicopter. The turkeys splatter all over the pavement. At the end of the episode, one of the characters says, "As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly". I use that statement all the time when I do something stupid.

Edit, found it:

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[CU Tiger]

It's funny this thread comes up.
My wife and I use one from a commercial fairly frequently..I didn't realize it until my z12 year old called us on it Sunday. We spent 3 hours trying to find a clip on YouTube without success.

It's from the Budweiser frogs/lizards bit. And it's Frankie the lizard with a hit list and he says Louie the lizard in his list of people...to which Louie replies..didmI see louie? On the list?..anyway...the whole series of commercials is out there..but this one seemingly can't be found.

And from the Simpsons..."is that legal?". Only hee and in certain are of Mississippi, son.

[kcchief19]

MASH lines get me the most blank stares these days. Even 10 years ago I used to get laughs when I'd give someone a compliment by borrowing a Hawkeye to Radar line telling them to "take a gold star out of petty cash." Now, nothing.

At least Mrs. Kcchief19 still gets it when I say, "It's nice to be nice to the nice."

[Toddzilla]

MASH lines get me the most blank stares these days. Even 10 years ago I used to get laughs when I'd give someone a compliment by borrowing a Hawkeye to Radar line telling them to "take a gold star out of petty cash." Now, nothing.

At least Mrs. Kcchief19 still gets it when I say, "It's nice to be nice to the nice."

There's a craft beer out there that makes "Ahhhh Bock" which I'm sure goes over everyone's head.

[heybrad]

There's a craft beer out there that makes "Ahhhh Bock" which I'm sure goes over everyone's head.
Every once in a while me and my brother still tell each other, 'Do not drink wine, or strong drink thou.'

[heybrad]

This is another movie, but both my wife and I always respond to anybody that is leaving on a trip by saying... 'Bring me back something french!'

Let's see if anybody gets the reference there.

[MacroGuru]

This is another movie, but both my wife and I always respond to anybody that is leaving on a trip by saying... 'Bring me back something french!'

Let's see if anybody gets the reference there.

Home Alone if I remember correctly...

[Logan]

You're gonna have to do better than a 1990 movie reference.

[cartman]

Good night, John Boy

[MacroGuru]

I used to call people a miserable cork-soaker...only person that ever got it was my brother.

[Bobble]

I use "get my head out of my Clavin" and rarely get the laughs it deserves:

Tommy: Say, you're not by any chance Cliff Clavin?
Cliff Clavin: Sure am. You heard of me?
Tommy: Your name is kind of a symbol around our branch office.
Cliff Clavin: Is that right?
Tommy: Yeah. Well, like, just the other day, I messed up, you know, and my supervisor told me to get my head out of my Clavin.

[AnalBumCover]

"Dooon't yoooou belieeve iiiiiiit"

[Kodos]

I used to call people a miserable cork-soaker...only person that ever got it was my brother.

Johnny Dangerously, I believe.

[BrianD]

I used to call people a miserable cork-soaker...only person that ever got it was my brother.

I often call people a farging ice-hole.

[JonInMiddleGA]

It's sad how many people get even the simplest ones, like "These go to eleven".

[Bobble]

The other one I use is one that I don't think people get the reference to but the joke stands on it's own very well. When I'm asked where I am (by phone ferinstance), I say "I'm directly beneath the Earth's sun................ NOW!"

[Suicane75]

"My name is Doug....and I'm outta here". I don't even know what the hell that's from, The State maybe? But I used to say it all the time.

More of a comeback than a line but whenever I'm with a girl who mentions when she started to develop breasts, I always use the Norm line, of "Me too".

[Breeze]

The I use all the time on the kids comes from a movie...and I use it when they have the wild ideas of what we can do...

"You just keep thinkin', Butch. That's what you're good at."

[Draft Dodger]

Good night, John Boy

oh good call. that's one I use from time to time

[Butter]

"My name is Doug....and I'm outta here". I don't even know what the hell that's from, The State maybe?

Yup, that's The State.

[MacroGuru]

Johnny Dangerously, I believe.

Ding! Ding!

Movie is chock full of one liners I loved as a kid too...

[sterlingice]

The other one I use is one that I don't think people get the reference to but the joke stands on it's own very well. When I'm asked where I am (by phone ferinstance), I say "I'm directly beneath the Earth's sun................ NOW!"

Thanks, Chief

I use that one from time to time, too :D

SI

[cartman]

This is the big one! Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join ya!

[cuervo72]

[low, ominous voice]Get out.[/lov]

(to telemarketers/solicitors) Tell him "we've already got-a one!"

[kcchief19]

One of the best spit takes I ever caused was when I went out to lunch with some coworkers and when the waiter asked for me I order I said, "I would like the insides of a large animal." The one Night Court fan at the table just about died.

I was also a huge fan of Ed. For a few weeks I went around the office trying to get "Shave My Poodle" to take off.

[B & B]

This is the big one! Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join ya!

Rip Fred

[Breeze]

Lighten up Francis....

[cartman]

Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night

[mckerney]

Reacting to something being called adequate like Bill McNeal.

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[sabotai]

I'm Bill McNeal, on crack, I like boys.

[kcchief19]

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Compromise is how we wound up with, "Join us and the boys of summer for action," which would be fine if we were running a gay chat line.

There is nothing about NewsRadio that wasn't awesome. I still try to work lines from Jimmy James: Capitalist Lion Tamer into conversation.

[cartman]

To the moon, Alice!

[mckerney]

I've also considered wanted to say something like this one from Bill a few times:

"I'll be there. Depending on the weather of course."
"Well it's supposed to be crisp and clear this Saturday."
"Oh I'm sorry, I was under the impression that Hell would be freezing over. Count me out."

Sadly it would seem far too dickish to someone who wasn't a NewsRadio fan.

[QuikSand]

I quote The Tick a fair bit, to little effect.

[sterlingice]

The cartoon, right? Not the live action.

SI

[sabotai]

Gravity is a harsh mistress.

[Bobble]

There are two I steal from Taxi, both Jim Ignatowki quotes:

- Any time I get a date or day of the week wrong, I say that I thought we switched to the metric system.

Louie De Palma: Ignatowski! Where have you been all week?
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I don't work weekends.
Louie De Palma: You been gone nine days!
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah...
Tony Banta: Jim, weekends are only two days.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, I thought we'd switched to the metric system.


- The second one is one I've thrown out a lot but generally just gets crickets. I'm beginning to realize that only *I* find it funny. I'll make a grand, declarative statement and then follow it up with an equally dramatic, "or fail to do so!"

[Dr. Sak]

The other one I use is one that I don't think people get the reference to but the joke stands on it's own very well. When I'm asked where I am (by phone ferinstance), I say "I'm directly beneath the Earth's sun................ NOW!"

I just used that one on my friend the other day and followed it up with "the car in front of me turned off its lights...must be a GHOST car!"

Yup, that's The State.

They call me bologna feet...sandwich feet...penis face.

And another one from Taxi where Jim is taking his drivers test:

Jim: What does a yellow light mean.
Tony Danza: Slow down
Jim: Whaaaaat dooooesss a yelllowww light meeeeaann...
Danza: Slow down

[QuikSand]

Late to the game but...

I do this all the time, especially in social settings, making semi-obscure references to movies, television, music and pop culture. When appropriate, I do it in the proper voice (or the best impression I can muster) and/or inflection, but I rarely take any time to offer context or any help. Either you get it, or you don't, and I'm okay with that.

The list is way, way too long to recite here...

Give that man his money
That's not a knife
Coffee is for closers
Okay...uhh....uncle? (very obscure)
Mmmmmmmm...buffalo (very very obscure, even if you detect it's in Homer Simpson's voice)
Perhaps you'd be more comfortable at one of our lower stakes tables
Excellent (alternates in voice of Kissinger/Burns)
I don't mean in no paper cup I'm talking about a glass of beer
Shoot the glass
Demented and sad, but social
Badges?

...this is a long and sordid list that I am forgetting. I don't exactly carry around a catalog, it just happens. And in proper company, on the occasion when an acquaintance happens to "get" one of my even semi-obscure references, it's like we have a new bond.

[ColtCrazy]

Fawlty Towers has countless references for our family. Seinfeld has quite a few and one that my wife and I quote back and forth a lot is Everybody Loves Raymond.

Fawlty Towers! Sadly, with an English father, my father and I have a lot of British TV comments that no one else really gets around Southern Indiana, although a friend and I make random Holy Grail comments from time to time.

I also usually answer "42" to anyone who even remotely asks what the whole point to life is.

[Bobble]

Shoot the glass


For proper effect, this one should be "schieß dem fenster" and then when they look at you funny, you say "shoot the glass."

[Logan]

When someone describes something seemingly impossible that needs to be done, I like dropping "and a hook shot!" in a slightly high-pitched voice.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I, also, do this sort of thing all of the time. I have all of these "triggers", for lack of a better word, such that if I hear a certain word or phrase the "trigger" goes off and I immediately spout off some random quote or word from some movie or TV show.

For example, if I'm in the kitchen and anyone asks me to get a spoon, I will almost always ask: "Why a spoon, cousin?"

An aside: In fact, for whatever reason, there are a number of quotes from "Robin Hood Prince of Thieves" that I fall back on for no good reason, because it's not a great movie, I just happened to see it. A lot:

You whine like a mule.
Allah loves wondrous variety.
Move faster.
I have a brother? I have a brother!
To the trees!

Whenver I say the word "automobile", I have a strong urge to say it, and often do, exactly like Long Duck Dong.

Whenver I'm about to eat a donut, I say: "Mmmm, forbidden donut..."

Other Simpson quotes I fall back on a lot:

In your face, Space Coyote!
Maybe I do, son. Maybe... I... Do.
Don't make me run, I am full of chocolate!
Don't quit your day job, Chief! Whatever /that/ is.
It tastes like burning!
I am so smart. I am so smart. SMRT!
Grease me up, woman! (This is said whenever my wife puts any kind of lotion on me for any reason)
You blouse wearin' poodle walker!
You silk wearin' buttercup!

There are two quotes from the animated "Return of The King" movie I used to watch as a kid that I still use:

Nay, Pippin!
Patience, Mary, patience...

There are many, many others. Some obscure, some less so.

[Qwikshot]

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing"

[Butter]

I also have some Simpsons quotes, this one is a personal favorite:

Listen kid, I'm not the kind of dad who does things or says stuff or looks at you. But the love is there!

[Kodos]

I was out for a walk on when I came across a lady who was watering some plants with her back turned to me. I had the urge to kink her hose, and then when she turned around, I would give he the Johnny "Just kidding!"

http://i1060.photobucket.com/albums/t446/KodosForPrez/Johnny_zps3d7bb270.png (http://s1060.photobucket.com/user/KodosForPrez/media/Johnny_zps3d7bb270.png.html)

[Umbrella]

Yeah, this is a funny list. Mine are mostly from movies.

"Lake. Big Lake" when going by a lake.
"This place has everything" whenever my wife mentions a new store in the mall
"Fronch...Bread" when french bread is with dinner. Usually followed by "And to drink...Peru."
Somebody else mentioned it, but I also use "Lighten up Francis" a lot.
It's not real obscure, but "You're killin' me Smalls" is said a lot in my house.

I'm sure there are a hundred others that I use without even realizing it at the time. On a related note, my wife finds me pretty annoying sometimes.

[Bobble]

"You'll get nothing and like it!" any time someone orders food with, "I want a ..."

So many from Fletch:
"It's all ball bearings these days! Maybe you need a refresher course."
"I'll have a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."
"God dawd dawd! Who is it, Mr. Sinlindin?"
"Yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars."

[QuikSand]

For proper effect, this one should be "schieß dem fenster" and then when they look at you funny, you say "shoot the glass."

Yes, along those lines, my prompt to go to that line is the puzzled look. I think the German is over the top, but if I'm at a bar with a friend and someone gives a puzzled look for some reason... I take a tiny pause, make the euro-sigh, and follow with "shoot. the. glass." And nobody gets it.

[sterlingice]

"You'll get nothing and like it!" any time someone orders food with, "I want a ..."

So many from Fletch:
"It's all ball bearings these days! Maybe you need a refresher course."
"I'll have a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."
"God dawd dawd! Who is it, Mr. Sinlindin?"
"Yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars."

This is one I like to use

SI

[cartman]

Coffee is for closers

[Draft Dodger]

remembered another one - "it's made of space-age polymers". running line David Letterman used many years ago. always results in blank stares

[Breeze]

I just used one last night that I had forgotten. If you don't follow along in my Swim Like a Champion Dynasty, you may not be aware that my son is ADHD (and I am too, thought I've learned to handle it)...anyway, when he jumps off track in a conversation or when I ask him to do something I'll say...


Squirrel

[BrianD]

I make references to tons of TV shows and movies in normal discussion, but MASH and Mad About You seem to show up a lot. Rather than admitting I am wrong, I will comment that "this is not the most right I have ever been". Whenever my wife walks into something (which is fairly often), I remind her "Sweetie, you know there is no mouse".

Lots of Star Wars references too, but I assume that is the norm around here.

[Draft Dodger]

oh, and a couple of old commercials I quote far too often

"it slices, it dices and it fits in the palm of your hand"
"you got it, Pontiac"
"can I kick the tires? does it have a motor?"

[Honolulu_Blue]

oh, and a couple of old commercials I quote far too often

"it slices, it dices and it fits in the palm of your hand"
"you got it, Pontiac"
"can I kick the tires? does it have a motor?"

I have that problem with some old commercials too.

For example, I still sometimes answer the phone with: "Makalakaveesay?"

(I am pretty sure that's not what the guy says, but that's what it sounds like.)

[Draft Dodger]

I have that problem with some old commercials too.

For example, I still sometimes answer the phone with: "Makalakaveesay?"

(I am pretty sure that's not what the guy says, but that's what it sounds like.)

yep, I do Maka Laka Pizza as well.