View Full Version : Silliest Things You've Heard During Sex
mrsimperless
05-07-2003, 02:09 PM
There you go JAG, I did it for you. I'll start.
"Is it in yet?"
Oh wait, that's not silly. It's sad. Oh well, at least I'm still the pimp that I see in all of my fantasies. No one can ever take that away from me. EVER.
"Can we do it doggie style so I can watch the x-files."
I second the "is it in yet" but with a slight whimper in my voice. And yes, it was as pathetic as it sounds. :)
TLK
Franklinnoble
05-07-2003, 02:20 PM
"Wrong hole"
Fritz
05-07-2003, 02:21 PM
"horsey horsey horsey"
Subby
05-07-2003, 02:21 PM
"Do I get that promotion now?"
path12
05-07-2003, 02:21 PM
"Dear Lord in heaven, forgive me for the terrible and vile sin I am about to commit......."
path12
05-07-2003, 02:23 PM
Or.......
"Roll Tide!" "It's rollin' baby, it's rollin'!!"
JeeberD
05-07-2003, 02:26 PM
Originally posted by Franklinnoble
"Wrong hole"
I've heard that one before... :D
Fritz
05-07-2003, 02:28 PM
"Are you peeing out the window?"
"Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now."
"Spank my Pussy."
"a little bit of jelly and a whole lotta roll."
"why do you want me to wear the Barbara Bush mask?."
"you have a hair stuck to your forehead."
"oral sex aint worth it if you don't risk brain damage"
"what are doing with that egg beater?"
Frozenrope
05-07-2003, 02:31 PM
"I hope that's the cat making that noise."
Franklinnoble
05-07-2003, 02:32 PM
Originally posted by JeeberD
I've heard that one before... :D
Yeah, but did you re-direct, or keep on goin'?
cincyreds
05-07-2003, 02:44 PM
.........and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.
It just did.
Blade
05-07-2003, 02:45 PM
"I said keep the bag on!"
What can I say? I was suffocating!!! :(
Fritz
05-07-2003, 02:46 PM
overheard while at a sleepover at Marmels:
"Mom, don't forget to sign my report card."
Easy Mac
05-07-2003, 02:46 PM
"make me cum"
I had a good laugh at that one
primelord
05-07-2003, 02:49 PM
Originally posted by Easy Mac
"make me cum"
I had a good laugh at that one
That was funny. :)
moriarty
05-07-2003, 02:50 PM
"Stop wiggling your butt, you might spill my beer".
strait8
05-07-2003, 02:54 PM
Will it taste bad when you cum in my mouth?
mrsimperless
05-07-2003, 02:54 PM
"Be careful, that looks like it'll hurt me. Wait, just put the head in!"
Draft Dodger
05-07-2003, 03:04 PM
true story:
after a particularly athletic session, my wife said..."I didn't know I had it in me".
it's been a recurring joke with us ever since
Franklinnoble
05-07-2003, 03:09 PM
"Baaaaaaaa"
Subby
05-07-2003, 03:10 PM
Originally posted by strait8
Will it taste bad when you cum in my mouth? Did it?
CamEdwards
05-07-2003, 03:15 PM
"Quick, out the back... Skydog's home!!"
I really hope that one doesn't put me in the doghouse. :)
Draft Dodger
05-07-2003, 03:15 PM
Originally posted by Subby
Did it?
hilarious
sachmo71
05-07-2003, 03:20 PM
"You want to put your what? In my what what?"
CamEdwards
05-07-2003, 03:23 PM
Originally posted by sachmo71
"You want to put your what? In my what?"
it's hard to find a woman that appreciates the "let me put my dick in your jar of Skippy peanut butter" fetish, isn't it?
sachmo71
05-07-2003, 03:24 PM
Originally posted by CamEdwards
it's hard to find a woman that appreciates the "let me put my dick in your jar of Skippy peanut butter" fetish, isn't it?
You SWORE you wouldn't tell! Damn you!
moriarty
05-07-2003, 03:24 PM
"You're not as skilled as your father"
Franklinnoble
05-07-2003, 03:24 PM
"You're going to erase that tape when we're done, right?"
sabotai
05-07-2003, 03:26 PM
"You've only done this with me, right?"
Airhog
05-07-2003, 03:35 PM
You wanna stick that in my ass?
You wanna do what with my sister and me?
You wanna do what with my mom and me?
You wanna do what with my dad and me?
You wanna do what with the neighbors dog and me?
That wasnt a pussy fart, that was just air.
Your done already?
Your not that little
My jaw hurts
My ass hurts
My leg hurts
Are you in all the way?
sabotai
05-07-2003, 03:38 PM
"You're my first"
Yeah, sure I am whore. Now spread 'em.
Ksyrup
05-07-2003, 03:44 PM
"Ahhh those wacky Bush twins."
Franklinnoble
05-07-2003, 03:46 PM
"Holy cow, what happened to Christina!?!?!? "
Maple Leafs
05-07-2003, 03:48 PM
"Well, you're cocky, but not as funny as I'd hoped."
Marmel
05-07-2003, 03:50 PM
I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!
Franklinnoble
05-07-2003, 03:55 PM
"I haven't been fucked like that since prison!"
Neuqua
05-07-2003, 04:52 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
overheard while at a sleepover at Marmels:
"Mom, don't forget to sign my report card."
You guys are too good.
tucker342
05-07-2003, 05:03 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
"Are you peeing out the window?"
"Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now."
"Spank my Pussy."
"a little bit of jelly and a whole lotta roll."
"why do you want me to wear the Barbara Bush mask?."
"you have a hair stuck to your forehead."
"oral sex aint worth it if you don't risk brain damage"
"what are doing with that egg beater?"
THOSE ARE GREAT:D:D:D
ROFL
Airhog
05-07-2003, 05:30 PM
Originally posted by Franklinnoble
"I haven't been fucked like that since prison!"
I havent been fucked like that since I was a man!
sabotai
05-07-2003, 05:33 PM
I haven't been fucked like that since I was a hooker.
Fritz
05-07-2003, 05:44 PM
Originally posted by tucker342
THOSE ARE GREAT:D:D:D
and all true
AKnightofNi
05-07-2003, 05:47 PM
"Is it soup, yet."
"BAM"
Easy Mac
05-07-2003, 06:34 PM
Remembered another:
"Fuck me like I'm a fat bitch"
Not sure what she meant by that, but then she screamed harder, so I guess it has to do with being able to do fat women harder b/c of the extra meat.
Damn that bitch was a slut, thank god I have a good Christian girl now :(...but at least she calls me god in bed.
Dr. Sak
05-07-2003, 06:55 PM
"Did I mention the video camera?"
"On second thought lets turn off the light"
"To think of it I was trying to pick up your friend"
"I hope you are as good lookin sober"
"I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs"
"When is this suppose to feel good?"
"That leak better be the from the water bed"
"Is that you or is your matress stuffed with rotten potatoes"
"Its sure nice to be with a woman that I dont have to inflate or blow up"
"Wow you are almost as good as my ex!"
"I really hate women who think sex is suppose to mean something"
"I'm gonna need another beer to do this"
The Afoci
05-07-2003, 07:01 PM
"I don't speak dog, but she sounds happy!"
AnalBumCover
05-07-2003, 07:27 PM
*Zzzzzzzzz*
tucker342
05-07-2003, 08:06 PM
Wow I wish my sex life was this interesting...
"Baby please tell that was pre-cum that just went in my mouth."
:)
noop
Fritz
05-07-2003, 08:32 PM
"have you seen the leaf blower?"
Mantle2600
05-07-2003, 09:34 PM
"I havent been fucked like that since Horns Maniac."
What a typical woman says after having sex with a blind 12 year old girl.
moriarty
05-07-2003, 10:14 PM
Originally posted by Fritz
"have you seen the leaf blower?"
:D :D :D
mckerney
05-07-2003, 10:20 PM
Originally posted by Franklinnoble
"You're going to erase that tape when we're done, right?"
"We're taping this over the footage of me pretending that golfball retriever is a lightsaber, right?"
mckerney
05-07-2003, 10:22 PM
"Wait, I'll be right back. Criollo just updated..."
Originally posted by mckerney
"Wait, I'll be right back. Criollo just updated..."
I was holding my g/f a couple of weeks ago and had to say that:)
cartman
05-08-2003, 06:09 AM
"You aren't familiar with the Madam Butterfly story, are you?"
Fritz
05-08-2003, 06:45 AM
"whats that behind your back Lorena?
Ekoostik Head
05-08-2003, 09:12 AM
"oops..."
"you want to put what where?"
"the gasoline burns"
"no more cheese!"
"wish you looked more like Strom Thurmond"
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