F Cancer

[PackerFanatic]

Really just need some place to vent...and FOFC has always been a great sounding board for that.

Back in late August 2014, my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It was out of nowhere, a major shock, and shook my whole family (understandably so). Now, my Dad (who just turned 60 in January) had been smoking since was 14, so that is a major contributor to it - but he also worked in pest control for 27 years, which could have a lot to do with it (and honestly, the doctors said with how advanced it was, it could have been any number of factors). Either way, it was totally unexpected and really rough (to my Dad's credit, the day he found out, he quit smoking cold turkey, hasn't touched one since - granted I am pretty sure my Mom would castrate him if he did, but still). He was forced to retire from his job very abruptly, which he did not take well either. This is a guy that would work 12 - 16 hours days, 7 days a week, and still somehow get up with a smile on his face. So going from that to nothing is really tough.

Since that time, he has undergone a lot of chemo and radiation. It was a rough few months, especially toward the end of the radiation treatment, but he was doing well. He was able to bowl with us during our season after his chemo was done, which was great to see him get out and be active and actually smiling.

Even with all that, the oncologist initially said with as advanced as the cancer was, he'd be lucky to make it a year. My Dad, ever the fighter, said he was determined to make it to my sister's wedding, which is in May 2016.

So he has been off treatment since February, he had his usual scan back in April and everything was still great. However, we all knew that we were basically just waiting for it to come back. Fast forward to last week - my parents went on a vacation with my Mom's sister and her family. They come back on Thursday and my Dad is complaining of major stomach pains, so they brought him into the ER. They admitted him that night, did a bunch of tests - initially thought it might be gall stones, or maybe appendicitis. Everything came back okay for that - and they did a CT to rule out the cancer not coming back. It wasn't back in the lungs, but they found out today that it is back in the liver. The stomach pains were from pancreitis, which they are treating - not sure if that is from the cancer being back or what. And now he is starting to get headaches, so they want to MRI his brain and make sure it is not back there too (since the type of cancer he has is notorious for that, even though he had radiation done on that to hopefully avoid it)

But...yeah. I am just at a loss right now. The worst part is just seeing my Mom so utterly helpless. She is definitely the matriarch of our whole family and to see her so down and defeated, I don't even know what to do. Just keep my Dad and my family in your thoughts and send some good vibes our way. We can certainly use them. And thanks for letting me vent, FOFC :)

[Umbrella]

Sorry you have to go through this PF. It's brutal. I wish I could tell you the best way to go through it, but I never figured it out either.

[CraigSca]

Went through this with my brother a couple of years ago. Cancer is an awful, awful disease. I will have your father in my prayers tonight.

[Chief Rum]

Be strong, PF. There's no easy way to go through this. Your parents need your strength, and I am sure you're giving it to them.

I'll pray for your dad.

My Mom also had lung cancer and we only found out about it after it spread to her brain, so I am definitely familiar with that. I'm hopeful that the MRIs will come back negative for your dad's head and pancreas.

[Kodos]

So sorry to hear your family is going through this, PF. Such an awful disease. I'll send good thoughts your way and to your father.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Very sorry to hear this. Cancer sucks. It's a shitty fucking thing. I wish all the best for you and yours, PF. I really hope he can make it for the wedding and be in some shape to enjoy it.

[Dutch]

Ugh, sorry to hear it, Andy. :(

[Eaglesfan27]

So sorry to hear this. I will definitely include your father and your family in my prayers.

[path12]

Best wishes for your Dad and your family, PF. Fuck cancer indeed.

[MizzouRah]

Indeed F Cancer.. thoughts and prayers for dad and your family :(

[Julio Riddols]

This is kinda what happened with my grandfather last year. Tough to hear. The shit thing about cancer is that it always seems to be looming around the next corner. You think you're recovering, you're functioning normally, feeling pretty good, then the bullshit strikes again, usually with a renewed vigor. Depressing, indeed.

I wish it was something that could be washed away with the blessings of strangers, because I know the pain of seeing it happen to a loved one and the helplessness is a killer. Whatever you do, keep positive though. I bet your pops would rather be surrounded with positivity and happiness if this is what has to happen. Cherish every moment. My heart breaks for you, man.

[The Jackal]

Thoughts are with you, PF

[Edward64]

Sorry to hear. Best wishes to you, your family and especially your dad.

[Castlerock]

So sorry.

[PackerFanatic]

Thanks all, I appreciate it. At this point, he can't do another round of chemo until his liver function improves. There is some kind of blockage causing his liver to work overtime, but they can't figure out what is causing it. They have a couple minor things they can do to hopefully figure it out, and my Dad definitely wants to keep fighting - which is a good sign.

[PackerFanatic]

Small victories: MRI came back clean, so no cancer in the brain. Still need to get the liver function up to do chemo.

[Chief Rum]

Small victories are always important. That is great news, and hopefully we will see some more when his liver improves.

[MizzouRah]

+1 Chief.. thanks for keeping us updated PF.

[PackerFanatic]

Apparently they aren't going to do the procedure they had planned to try and increase the liver function, because they don't know that it will even help and it could make things worse for the pancreas - so they are starting him on a lower dose of chemo for now to get things moving.

My sister also decided that she doesn't want to run the risk of her Dad not walking her down the aisle for her wedding next year (because let's face it, the likelihood at this point is slim) - so she decided to move it up...to two weeks from today. Yikes! It was just going to be a courthouse deal with a few of us there, but my wife and her talked today and they planned out a whole small, intimate ceremony at a local chapel (same one we got married at, actually...and the one my parents had their 25th anniversary a few years ago, so the folks there know us :) ) It's a sad reason to have to move it up so quickly, but everyone is coming together to get it done and make it special for my sister and her fiance - and make it something we can remember fondly with Dad being there.

[BYU 14]

So sorry PF, thoughts to you and you family and I am sure your sisters wedding will be absolutely amazing, so cool that everyone is pitching in to make it happen!

[PackerFanatic]

Dad had a PET scan yesterday - results came back today, and they were not good. Basically, the cancer has come back with a vengeance. All the back and leg pain he has had recently is the cancer - it's back in his bones, his liver, pretty much everywhere. They gave him a choice: do nothing but pain management and you'd have a couple weeks at most (likely not much past my sister's new wedding date). Or, with chemo, there is a chance (like, 10 to 20%) that you could extend that further and maybe go a few months. In all likelihood, he won't make it through the summer. He is fighting like hell and is doing chemo now, so he should have no problem making it to the wedding on July 2nd, but who knows how much past that.

This shit just sucks. I greatly appreciate all the kind words from everyone here - it really does help to have a outlet and know even people you just know from a message board (though most for quite a long time, heh) are thinking of you. So thanks for that, all :)

[claphamsa]

:(

[Senator]

Sorry to hear this PF, as I understand it as it was the same with my own father, and now with my own things, none of it is good.

[Dutch]

:(

[cougarfreak]

Sorry man. F cancer, thoughts and prayers b

[chesapeake]

Sorry to see this, PF. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Kodos]

So sorry to hear that the results were really bad. Will keep your father and your family in my thoughts.

[Chief Rum]

Sorry, PF. Thoughts and prayers to you and your dad, man.

[PackerFanatic]

Haven't really continued to keep this updated, but I feel I should now. It's been a series of up and downs over the summer and fall, and while it was awesome to have Dad around for Christmas, it looks like the fight is coming to an end now. My sister wrote up a nice post on his Caring Bridge yesterday with the latest so I will share that here instead.

Tom | CaringBridge (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tombelonger)

I posted this on FB and Twitter last night, so for those of you that I am friends with there and have commented, my family and I greatly appreciate the kind words. Just trying to take it one step at time I suppose.

[Solecismic]

Sorry to hear your news. I'm reading "We Are Not Ourselves" by Matthew Thomas right now. It's a very different illness and path, but I think it resonates for all of us who have lost parents far too early.

[Kodos]

So terrible. My sympathy goes to you, your father, and the rest of your family. I went through something similar (different disease, same outcome) with my Mom this time last year. Losing a parent is tough, especially when they go younger than you ever thought they would.

[PackerFanatic]

My Dad is finally at peace today. We celebrated his birthday yesterday (it would have been this coming Wednesday) and all got together to just be near him - even though he never woke up, we know that he was aware of us and was happy to just be there. My siblings and Mom, as well as my Aunt and Uncle (my Aunt was basically a daughter to him) were with him most of the night, then he waited for us to try and get some restless sleep ourselves before going quietly in the night. Even if you are prepared for it, you are never truly ready for it...

Tom | Journal | CaringBridge (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tombelonger/journal/view/id/569bab6faf3d793e7fbbcfa4)

I love you, Dad.

[JonInMiddleGA]

My sincere condolences PF, to you and your entire family.

[CrimsonFox]

*hugs*

yeah I went through this two years ago around christmas and my birthday of all times. Not fun

[Dutch]

Sorry Andy...you area a good person, so I know you're dad was a good person too. Very sad to hear it. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

[BYU 14]

My condolences to you and your entire family, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[SirFozzie]

My Dad is finally at peace today. We celebrated his birthday yesterday (it would have been this coming Wednesday) and all got together to just be near him - even though he never woke up, we know that he was aware of us and was happy to just be there. My siblings and Mom, as well as my Aunt and Uncle (my Aunt was basically a daughter to him) were with him most of the night, then he waited for us to try and get some restless sleep ourselves before going quietly in the night. Even if you are prepared for it, you are never truly ready for it...

Tom | Journal | CaringBridge (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tombelonger/journal/view/id/569bab6faf3d793e7fbbcfa4)

I love you, Dad.

Thoughts and prayers, man. Fuck cancer.

[MizzouRah]

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. :(

[claphamsa]

sorry for your loss. even though he never woke up, im sure he knew he was loved

[Karlifornia]

So, sorry, PF. Remember all the good times and trade stories with your family.