I love the smell of Puke in the morning, A Duke Anti-Dynasty, 2006-2007 Season

[WussGawd]

For those of you late in joining the party, you can catch up with the four previous seasons of the dynasty through the links below:

2002-2003 Season (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6061)
2003-2004 Season (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6202)
2004-2005 Season (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6781)
2005-2006 Season (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7664)


Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the fifth season of It Rhymes With Puke, A Duke Basketball TDCB Anti-Dynasty, has begun in earnest.

In the first three years, we suffered the agonies of the damned, as we sought to dismantle Coach K's work of art one crummy recruit at a time. Last year, with only 7 good players left, and a handful of injuries, we began to make progress, ending a 17-2 season start with a 4-11 end of season swoon that included a first round tournament loss to lightly regarded Louisiana-Monroe (who then promptly lost to Cal-Berkely by 50 in the second round).

To make the news even brighter, four of those seven players are now gone, either out of eligibility, or in search of greener pastures in the NBA. We will be fielding a very weak starting lineup, with no bench to back them up to speak of.

Therefore, I'm expecting this season might go a lot like the last five minutes of the last flight of the Hindenburg. :D

Anyway, enough of me babbling, on with the show.

[WussGawd]

2005-2006 Season Awards:

First, let's take a look at last year's stats:

<pre>
Duke Stats
Number First Name Last Name Pos Games MPG PPG RPG APG TOPG SPG BPG FG% 3P% FT%
5 Derricus Granger SG 19 23.7 13.4 2.4 6.0 3.7 1.2 0.3 43.9% 31.9% 91.9%
9 Kenyon Wright SG 23 22.8 10.8 3.1 3.8 2.0 0.7 0.1 43.5% 39.2% 75.0%
8 Chris Woni SG 34 20.6 9.0 2.3 3.5 1.4 1.1 0.0 40.0% 30.7% 59.3%
50 Kris Robinson PF 34 24.3 12.1 7.0 0.9 1.1 1.1 2.3 40.9% 33.6% 77.2%
40 Mike Cole C 34 25.6 15.1 11.6 0.4 0.8 0.6 2.8 48.2% 37.0% 89.2%
42 Tony Haginas C 34 16.9 6.2 6.6 0.9 0.5 0.3 1.9 51.3% 0.0% 65.1%
22 Ricky Jefferson C 34 14.2 6.0 3.2 0.2 0.6 0.2 0.3 48.6% 45.2% 54.1%
9 Joe Wright SF 34 19.5 4.1 2.5 2.4 1.4 0.5 0.2 50.0% 0.0% 41.8%
7 Clayton Hays PF 34 9.4 2.9 1.0 0.3 0.5 0.1 0.1 34.4% 24.1% 61.9%
4 Derek Hicks PG 34 14.2 3.5 0.4 3.4 1.9 0.1 0.0 33.3% 22.0% 69.0%
54 Leland Sanders SF 26 8.0 4.1 0.8 0.7 0.7 0.0 0.1 36.8% 37.5% 71.0%
39 Mike Millford PG 14 9.3 2.5 0.4 1.6 1.4 0.1 0.1 38.5% 30.0% 70.6%
49 Scott Brand PF 21 24.8 13.5 11.6 0.3 0.6 2.0 2.6 49.8% 37.5% 62.0%
</pre>

[WussGawd]

Now that you can see the numbers, let's take a look at our annual awards, and see if we can't recognize a few players who contributed mightily to the decline and fall of Duke Basketball.

First, off it's our Least Outstanding Freshman, aka

The Diaper After a Dinner of Stewed Prunes Dandy Award

You can see the stats above, and I encourage write in votes, but let's highlight a couple of guys I feel bear mentioning:

Derek Hicks:

On a team that had no true veteran point guards, Derek was so gawd awful that we spent most of the year with a shooting guard playing the point. It was only late in the season, when we had the injuries to Darricus Granger that Derek got significant minutes. Then, he was awful.

Mike Millford:

See our comments on Derek Hicks, then consider that Mike couldn't get past Derek on the depth chart. On a team with no other true point guards, Derek and Mike were #12 & #13 on the bench last year.

Other Freshmen on the team: Clayton Hays


The "If I ever hear Dick Vitale say his name again, I will go on a Five-State Killing Spree" Award

Awarded annually to the player who does the most harm to my goal of making Duke Football look good as compared to Duke Basketball.

Again, feel free to write in somebody else if you want, but I think this award should go to only one player:

Mike Cole

Take a look at the game writeups for last season. This guy was averaging double-doubles the entire season. The numbers, and the fact he was healthy all year pretty much make this one a lock for him, IMNSHO.


The "Do you want fries with that #4 Combo?" Award:

This is actually the first time we've awarded it, mainly because it's the first opportunity anybody has had to suffer through 4 years of me running the program.

This award is given to the worst player to actually stay the full 4 years at Duke. There's really only one good candidate for this year, but he's a beauty, particularly when you consider he was a 5 Star Recruit out of high school:

Tony Haginas

There was a reason Mike Cole stayed in the game long enough to get so many double-doubles, and one of those reasons was Tony. Frequently in foul trouble, he averaged 6 points a game in 15 minutes of limited action.

Other Seniors on the Team: Scott Brand. Scott was great when he was healthy, but he missed 13 of our 34 games with injuries.


The Cameron Indoor Library Award

This award is given annually to the player, with significant playing time, who does the most to help silence the Cameron Crazies and turn Cameron Indoor Stadium into a place for quiet contemplation and study.

There are a few possible candidates, but I'd like to highlight a couple:

Tony Haginas

See my comments about Tony above.

Joe Wright

Joe is my favorite for the award. Averaging just short of 20 minutes as a JC transfer this season, Joe could score only 4 points a game from the small forward spot. It is no coincidence that he started to play more minutes during our late season swoon.

Other candidates: Anybody on the roster. Knock yourselves out.


Anyway, there are the award candidates. Please vote for them, and insert your funny anti-Duke rhetoric below. We'll tally them up and proceed with the dynasty in a couple of days.

Until then, remember, Duke Rhymes with Puke.

[Patman]

Great write up, I'll be rooting for you, and hopefully seeing the ultimate demise of Duke.

[WussGawd]

Originally posted by Patman
Great write up, I'll be rooting for you, and hopefully seeing the ultimate demise of Duke.

Patman: Thanks for the kind words. Stick around. I've got a pretty strong feeling that this is the year the wheels finally come off the applecart. :)

Feel free to vote for the awards, if you want.

[tucker342]

This could be the year of Duke suckiness:)

This is looking like a great year:D

[WussGawd]

bump.

We will be returning to the Dynasty for year 5 tomorrow, Tuesday, May 20, 2003.

Edit: Apparently I've forgotten what year it is. 2003, 2005, oh well, at least I'm in the right decade. :)

[WussGawd]

2005-2006 Season Award Winners:

I'm baaaaack! Did you miss me? Is your aim getting better?

Anyway, let's pass out the hardware.

First, the Diaper After a Dinner of Stewed Prunes and Pickled Beets Dandy Award:

Yes, that's right, our award for the least valuable freshmen player on the team.

This year, the award goes to a point guard so bad he wasn't even the best point guard on a team that never played its point guards.

That's right, it's Mike Millford. For his non-efforts at the point guard spot, Mike wins a steaming, freshly soiled diaper, courtesy of my two year old nephew Zach. Enjoy it, Mike.


Now, it's on to the rubbish. We really don't appreciate having to give out this award, but here goes. It's the If I ever hear Dick Vitale say his name again, I will go on a Five-State Killing Spree" Award

This award is given out to the player who does the most to harm my goal of destroying the Duke basketball program.

Folks, this is the first time in the history of this award that it has been a unanimous decision. Mike Cole, come up here and get your award.

Congratulations, Mike, you've won, why it's a restraining order! Mike, this order says that from this point forward that you can approach no closer than 500 yards to Cameron Indoor Stadium. Now get the hell out, Mike, and don't come back, ok.


Now, it gives me great privilege to give this award for the first time since taking over the Duke basketball program. It's the "Do you want fries with that #4 Combo?" Award.

This award is given out annually to the worst player to actually survive four years with the Duke basketball program.

Come on up here, Tony Haginas! Tony is a waste of flesh who was actually a five star recruit when he came here, and a hot pro prospect. Now, look at him. Courtesy of our advanced training techniques, and radical application of shock treatments, he's another unfulfilled potential scrubeenie off the end of our bench. Heck, if I'd had another year or two with him, I could have made Tony into an invertebrate.

For you, Tony, we have a fine paper cap, much like the ones you would get working at Burger King, which is where you'll be working now that we're done with you. Good luck Tony.


Now folks, it's our least valuable player award, aka the Cameron Indoor Library Award.

This award is given each year to the player, regardless of class, who does the most to help turn Cameron Indoor Stadium into a place of quiet contemplation and study.

With so many, um, contributors to our late season swoon, this was a hard one to pick, but it is no coincidence that our late season collapse was tied in great part to a devastating series of injuries to our front court. These injuries led us to have to play a JC Transfer at small forward extensively down the stretch of regular season. Fortunately for us, this guy failed to deliver, hitting less than 30% of his shots from the field.

Come down here and get your award, Joe Wright. You've certainly earned it.

Joe wins a sewer rat, courtesy of the Durham sanitation department. We've taken to naming the rats after former Duke players. Joe, I'd like to introduce you to Mark Alarie.

Enjoy him, Joe.

[WussGawd]

2005-2006 NBA Draft

Two of Duke's four departing players are drafted.

Mike Cole is probably the last lottery pick that will ever come out of my program. He's picked fifth overall by the Utah Jazz.

Scott Brand is drafted late in the first round, at 27th by the Toronto Raptors.

Tony Haginas and Kris Robinson go undrafted.


Job Offers

I've been casually following the job offers the past few years. Even though I can't be hired or fired in the game, the game still generates job offers. The first three years, I was getting 10, and from some pretty good schools. Last year, I got five. This year, I only got two, and we're not exactly talking offers from UCLA or Kentucky, either.

Coaching for a no account, crummy school like Duke is really damaging my reputation. :D

[WussGawd]

"Don't worry, the program is unsinkable. Lower Lifeboat #4!"


Yes, folks, we have another winner in the Shuffling Deck Chairs on the Titanic Pool.

Good news greets me in the inbox today:

Well, it seems your ability as head coach and teacher has paved the way for promising assistant Cedric Fischer. He has just accepted a position as the new head coach of Ark. Pine Bluff. While we wish him the best of luck, we need to focus back on our program. Therefore, you will need to replace his spot on the staff before proceeding.

Duke Athletic Director
On behalf of the School Board

For those of you who picked Cedric Fischer to jump ship, good job.

This is also an odd numbered, year, so, per house rules, I can fire another assistant as well.

Really, there's no choice. He's a great coach and frankly, if he'd had any brains, he'd have left with Cedric Fischer. Jamison Archibald, Assistant Head Coach, here's your severance, don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out.

Well, wait a second. There's nobody in the talent pool interested in Duke as bad as Jamison.

Wait, Jamison, never mind. You can stay, for now.

To replace Cedric Fischer, I hire a 53 year old dog's body from Middle Tennessee State named Delwyn Purnell.

Here is the staff after the only change:

The ratings for the assistants in order are as follows:
Offensive Skills, Defensive Skills, Rebounding, Ball Handling, Athleticism, Evaluating Current Ability, Evaluating Future Potential, Recruiting Skill

For the trainer, there is only one rating, which is Player Conditioning and Recovery.

Afterward, I will list their ambition rating, which measures their likelihood to take another job.

Assistant Head Coach Jamison Archibald: Exc, Good, Avg, Good, Good, Good, Exc, Avg, Ambition: Very Little

Assistant Coach Eddie Rashaw: Avg, Avg, Good, Avg, Avg, Avg, Avg, Good, Ambition Very High

Assistant Coach Delwyn Purnell: Exc, Good, Exc, Good, Good, Avg, Avg, Good, Ambition: Very High

Trainer Mark Curry: Average

Once again, think about your picks for the Fifth Shuffling Deck Chairs on the Titanic Pool, and feel free to post them if you want. We'll take a look next year at the results.

[tucker342]

Delwyn Purnell will be the next to go.

[WussGawd]

Ladies and Gentlemen, It's your 2006-2007 Puke Blue Devils

OK, let's meet the wimps, er, men, that will help restore Puke Basketball to its rightful place:


Pointless Guards:

Derek Hicks
Sophomore Point Guard
5'9", 140 lb, GPA: 3.51
Albuquerque, NM
Strengths: Free Throw Shooting, Passing
Weaknesses: Just about everything else.
Probable Role: Backup Point Guard

One of our prized 1-star stinkweeds, Derek was our #1 point guard last year. Unfortunately for him, we had a ton of truly talented shooting guards (still do, as a matter of fact), and the AI wisely realized it would be better off starting one of them at the 1 Spot. As a result, Derek was strictly a reserve last year. I wouldn't look for him to be much more.

Mike Millford
Sophomore Point Guard
5'11", 146 lb, 3.33 GPA
Starke, FL
Strengths: Offense
Weaknesses: Defense, Court Awareness
Probable Role: Backup Point Guard

Mike was the most useless waste of a scholarship the program had ever seen as a freshman. However, despite my best efforts to retard his development, Mike may actually be a better player than Derek. Sigh.

[WussGawd]

Shooting Themselves in the Foot Guards

The Shooting Guard spot is the strength of the team. It contains the "only" athletes that were rated higher than 1 star as recruits on the team. Basically, this team will live or die with the outside shot this year.


Chris Woni

Junior Shooting Guard
6'2", 168 lb, 3.89 GPA
Groton, NY
Strengths: Scoring, Passing, Handling
Weaknesses: Defense, Court Awareness
Probable Role: 6th Man.

Chris was a 3-star recruit coming out of high school, the product of my poorly conceived house rule (since abandoned) that required me to recruit one player interested in playing for Duke. He has improved, and is now on a par with the best players on this team. Fortunately, he has only a couple of years of eligibility left.


Derricus Granger

Senior Shooting Guard
6'2", 211 lb, 3.86 GPA
Richardson, TX
Strengths: Pretty much everything.
Weaknesses: Prone to Injury. He may still be vulnerable to the use of nuclear weapons, but we're not sure about that.
Probable Role: Starter, either at the Point, or Shooting Guard

Darricus is probably one of the ten best guards in the country. Fortunately, this is his last year of eligibility.


Kenyon Wright

Senior Shooting Guard
6'4", 184 lb, 3.53 GPA
White River Junction, VT
Strengths: Shooting, Passing, Ballhandling
Weaknesses: Injury Prone, Court Awareness.
Probable Role: Starter at one of the guard spots.

Another of the two remaining 5-Star recruits in the program, Kenyon is one of those guys who has not quite developed as he expected. He was actually the bigger recruit compared to Darricus, but he's not as polished a player now. Nonetheless, he will still start, since Duke has no one to speak of at the point.

[WussGawd]

Small Forwards, Smaller Game


Joe Wright

Senior Small Forward
6'8" 198 lb, 3.83 GPA
Raleigh, NC
Strengths: Passing, Offensive Rebounding
Weaknesses: Shooting, Defense
Probable Role: Starter at Small Forward

Last year's Cameron Indoor Library Award winner, Joe is back for his last campaign. Possibly the worst JC Transfer in the history of basketball, Joe should help our frontcourt stink worse than they did last year.


Leland Sanders

Junior Small Forward
6'5", 163 lb, 3.30 GPA
Tucson, AZ
Strengths: Occasionally remembers to shower.
Weaknesses: Just about everything, folks.
Role: Backup Small Forward

Not to say that Leland is a bad player, but a five foot radius around him at all times qualifies as a Federal disaster relief area. Leland has so little game that he was regularly schooled by his teammates in practice in high school.

[WussGawd]

Powerless Forwards


Renaldo Hall:

Freshman Power Forward
6'5", 183 lb, GPA 2.08
Hattiesburg, MS
Strengths: Free Throw Shooting, Shot Blocking
Weaknesses: Just About Everything Else.
Role: Strictly bench material. Will only play significant minutes in the event of injury.

Renaldo may actually round into a decent power forward, if I'm not careful.


Jamar Solomon:

Freshman Power Forward
6'5", 166 lb, GPA 3.75
Detroit, MI
Strengths: Court Awareness, Free Throw Shooting
Weaknesses: Everything Else
Role: Strictly Bench Material.

Now that I look at them, we don't have a good power forward, or even a decent one. :D


Clayton Hays

Sophomore Power Forward
6'6", 222 lb, GPA 3.62
Ridgely, WV
Strengths: Inside Shooting, Free Throw Shooting
Weaknesses: Just about everything else.
Role: Starter.

Clayton will probably start, simply because the others are worse. He certainly isn't going to help Puke's cause.

[WussGawd]

The Great Big Hole in the Middle


Ricky Jefferson

Junior Center
6'11", 261 lb, 2.23 GPA
Spartanburg, SC
Strengths: Shot Blocking, Free Throw Shooting
Weaknesses: Everything Else
Role: Starting Center

Yes, ladies and germs, the player we all love to ridicule, our barely smart enough to be able to eat with a fork center, is now the starter. Good times, folks, good times.
:cool:


Valter Oliver

Freshman Center
6'11", 211 lb, 3.24 GPA
Hialeah, FL
Strengths: Free Throw Shooting
Weaknesses: Everything Else
Role: Towel Boy

There are already jokes forming in my mind about this kid. The first one has to do with the fact that his parents wanted to name him Walter, but they didn't want him to get too used to the idea of W's.

Valter is the worst athlete I've ever recruited. Compared to some of the other stinkers on this team, that's saying something.


Damon Sims

Freshman Center
6'11", 193 lb, 1.83 GPA
Naperville, IL
Strengths: Only occasionally drools on himself.
Weaknesses: Warning: May Contain Basketball-like Substance
Role: Towel Boy #2

Damon isn't much better than Valter...I can't wait to start the season. ;)

[WussGawd]

Recruiting Scout Service and 2006-2007 Schedule

Shockingly, I did not have a Top 20 Recruiting Class last year.

I once again hire Basket Bytes, the 5 Star Rated Service. After all, I wouldn't want a player I thought awful to turn out good. Besides which, what do I care how much of the boosters' money I spend.

Once again, the AI has assigned me a truly awful OOC schedule. In an effort to beef it up somewhat, I add Stanford, Texas Tech and Arkansas to the schedule.

Here's the final result:

11/13/06: @Florida International
11/18/06: @Iowa
11/21/06: Idaho State
11/25/06: @Arkansas
11/30/06: Army
12/03/06: East Tennessee State
12/05/06: @Butler
12/09/06: @Brown
12/11/06: @Stanford
12/16/06: Notre Dame
12/21/06: Kansas State
12/23/06: @Texas Tech
12/28/06: @Clemson
12/30/06: Maryland
01/01/07: Wake Forest
01/06/07: Florida State
01/09/07: North Carolina
01/12/07: @NC State
01/18/07: @Georgia Tech
01/24/07: Georgia Tech
01/27/07: NC State
02/01/07: Alabama-Birmingham
02/03/07: @North Carolina
02/07/07: Clemson
02/10/07: Virginia
02/14/07: @Wake Forest
02/17/07: @Maryland
02/22/07: @Florida State
02/24/07: @Virginia

[WussGawd]

Preseason Predictions & Prospects:

National Prestige: 80 (down from 83)
Program Expectations: Vie for NCAA Title (Boy, are there going to be some disappointed folks) :D
Freshmen Class: Awful
Composite Talent Level: Below Average (Down from Superior)
Game Challenge Level: Normal (from Very Easy)
Available Scholarships: 3

My expectations are a .500 record, and an NIT bid. However, with the right breaks, we might miss postseason action all together, which is my personal goal.

Stay tuned, Season 5 starts tomorrow!

[WussGawd]

Week 1 Recruiting


Puke begins the new season ranked #13 in the AP Poll, #23 in the Coaches' Poll. Once again, this merely proves that coaches are smarter than sportswriters.


Recruiting

At least unless one of our stinkweeds decides to go pro (shya, right!), we have three scholarships to give. We are losing two of our best players, both shooting guards, and a small forward.

Needless to say I'm looking to seriously downgrade our talent at the two spot this year. ;)

Oh, who to recruit, who to recruit.

For a local kid, I go after Davor Jenkins, a shooting guard from Mt. Ulla, NC.


Davor Jenkins

Shooting Guard
6'5", 200 lb, 2.63 GPA
West Rowan HS, Mt. Ulla, NC
Strengths: Decent shooter
Weaknesses: Athleticism, Defense, Potential

A decent enough guy on first meeting him, Davor hasn't got the game to start at Duke...well, at least until I sink our prestige a few more notches, anyway. :)


For our 2006-2007 Ricky Jefferson Scholarship candidate (our scholarship given out to a player with that rare combination of no talent, and no brains, we look at Frank Wolfe, a stinky shooting guard from Albany, NY.


Frank Wolfe
6'1", 187 lb, 2.38 GPA
Bishop Maginn HS, Albany, NY
Strengths: Offense
Weaknesses: Everything Else.

Frank looks like a good heir apparent to drop the torch after we lose Ricky Jefferson. No game, and not bright either.

Finally, we look at the SF spot, where we find a hidden rhindstone, Calvis Bellairs from Rhode Island.


Calvis Bellairs
6'3", 187 lb, 3.37 GPA
Johnston HS, Johnston, RI
Strengths: Uh, that would be none.
Weaknesses: Just about everything except academics.

Calvis looks like he could be our prize recruit this year. He is definitely the worst of the three.

I also recruit a few contingency plans at both positions, but since I haven't lost a recruit yet, I'm expecting these three will be wearing blue and white next year and stinking up Cameron Indoor Library, er, Arena, er, Stadium.

Now, enough of the boring stuff, let's get on to a few losses, shall we?

Oops. Puke didn't get invited to a preseason tournament, hehe. No Week 1 Games for us.

[WussGawd]

Week 2 Recruiting and Games

After the first week's games, we drop in the AP Poll (from #13 to #17), and climb in the Coaches' Poll (from #23 to #21). Doesn't matter. We'll drop out of sight pretty quick once the season starts. :)


Recruiting:

Davor and Frank visit during the week, and I offer them both scholarships. I continue to recruit about a half dozen chosen victims as part of my contingency plan.

Not much to report on the recruiting front yet. It's too early, I suppose.

On with the games.


Monday, November 13, 2006, #17 Duke at Florida International

Duke is heavily favored over the lowly Golden Panthers. This should be an interesting test to see just how far we've fallen in the offseason.

Sure enough, it's a win, 84-61. Derricus Granger scores 23 (he was 8 of 12 from the field) and Ricky Jefferson puts up a double double (13 points, 12 rebounds) in the win.

Yuck. Duke climbs to 1-0.


Saturday, November 18, 2006, #17 Duke at #10 Iowa

At last, we're getting somewhere. Duke heads to Ames as serious underdogs to the Hawkeyes.

Sure enough, we don't disappoint. Iowa opens up a 25 point halftime lead and absolutely rolls, winning 104-61.

Our most memorable performance was Clayton Hays going 2 for 8 from the field. Iowa put six players in double figures as they lit us up.

The news gets better, btw. Derricus Granger, our crepe paper and balsa wood shooting guard breaks his nose, and is listed as day to day.

Duke drops to 1-1.

[WussGawd]

Week 3 Recruiting and Games

Oh, the glorious sound of grumbling on campus and alumni filling up our phone lines with angry calls brings a certain special joy to my heart. The Iowa loss was very devastating to the morale on campus about the basketball program, and I am walking with a special spring in my step as others are somber.

Even better is our showing in the polls. I think the coaches and sportswriters were wanting to disbelieve, that they were trying to avoid the realization of just how bad a program we have become. In any case, the Iowa loss was a bolt from the blue that woke them up from a frightful nightmare.

Now, in the harsh Sunday morning light, looking at the gawd-awful Iowa game box score, the writers and coaches spoke with one voice. Puke has not received a single vote in the AP & Coaches' Poll. Not one vote.

I'll say it again, just for fun, and try to do it this time without giggling. Duke received no votes in the AP & Coaches Poll.

Sadly, Derricus Granger has healed. Must remember to fire our trainer.


Recruiting:

Calvis Bellairs visits, and I offer him our third scholarship. I also continue to recruit a few contingency plans, and invite a couple to visit.

Shockingly, none of my targets decide to forego college eligibility to jump straight to the NBA Draft. Perhaps this is because most of them can only look forward to a fine career in the food services or sanitation engineering industries after they get done playing ball for me. :)


Tuesday, November 21, 2006, Idaho at Puke

Puke is a slight favorite against the Vandals. I'm not sure if this is because the bookies' don't have a good read on us, or if we're that much better than Idaho (I don't believe we are).

Unfortunately, we haven't sunk to Idaho's class just yet. It's tied 39 all at halftime, but in the second half we blow them away, winning 92-68.

Clayton Hays apparently heard me ridiculing him, and put up 24 points in the win.

Oh well, he still sucks.

On a positive note, Kenyon Wright tears an abdominal muscle and is gone for a month.

Puke climbs to 2-1.


Saturday, November 25, 2006, Puke at Arkansas

The Razorbacks are heavy favorites to knock us back to a .500 record.

Sure enough, Arkansas lights us up. It's 53-30 at the half, and Arkansas then empties the bench. Final is 91-70 Arkansas.

Stats line of the day: Joe Wright, SF, 34 minutes, 4 points, -25.

Arkansas puts five in double figures in the laugher.

Puke drops to 2-2 to end the week.

[tucker342]

GO IOWA:D

[WussGawd]

Originally posted by tucker342
GO IOWA:D

Yeah, I expect I'll be gladdening the hearts of college alumni throughout the land this season. :cool:

Note to self, must remember to schedule Arizona State OOC next year. :)

[JeeberD]

Schedule UTEP too!

Oh, wait, that would probably be a win for even this depleted Duke squad. Never mind... :(

[WussGawd]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Schedule UTEP too!

Oh, wait, that would probably be a win for even this depleted Duke squad. Never mind... :(

Maybe not next year's though. Consider it done. :)

[DataKing]

If you feel the need for a butt-whooping, feel free to schedule one against my beloved Jayhawks. :D

[WussGawd]

Week 4 Recruiting and Games

For the second week in a row, not a single vote is wasted on Duke in either poll. Yes, folks, to quote from the great Bob Dylan, the times are a-changin'.


Injury Report

Kenyon Martin, Out 1 month, Torn Abdominal Muscle.

Yes folks, our already anorexically-thin depth is now thinner. We're talking Calista Flockhart, ready to keel over and die thin now.


Recruiting

I continue to recruit the same half-dozen wastes of flesh. In an effort to keep this area interesting, I will be introducing a new feature, Stupid Recruit Tricks. Each week I'll pick the funniest thing a recruit said to me during a phone call and quote it, along with a variety of smarta** remarks.

This week's quote comes from David Wooley:

"I am very interested in working on my conditioning. Does Duke have a good weight room? I think any school I went to should have a good weight room."

Why yes, David, we do have a weight room. Unfortunately, due to the recent swoon in our basketball (and the longer one in football) program's fortunes, the athletic department has given first dibs on it to the program most likely to bring athletic glory to the University.

Yes, David, that's right. The women's field hockey team now has first dibs on weight training facilities at Puke. :D


Thursday, November 30, 2006, Army at Puke

OK. Guess we're gonna see real quick just how far we've sunk. There's nothing like a service academy to determine just how bad your team has become.

Unfortunately, we haven't sunk that far yet. Puke wins 75-61. Derricus Granger goes absolutely wild, scoring 37 points and grabbing 9 rebounds.

On a more positive note, three of our starters, Wright, Hays & Jefferson each play about 35 minutes. Their total contribution to the cause? 4 for 14 from the field, a total of 12 points in total.

The assistant coaches are so overwhelmed with my bench that 6 of the 13 players don't see a minute.

Tragically, Puke climbs to 3-2.


Sunday, December 3, 2006, East Tennessee State at Puke

The oddsmakers pick us to beat East Tennessee State, and sadly, they're right.

Ricky Jefferson scores 27 points and grabs 14 rebounds in the win.

Sadly, there are no truly awful performances to highlight, so we'll just pretend this game never happened, shall we?

Puke climbs to 4-2.

[WussGawd]

Week 5 Recruiting and Games

Tragically, with the couple of wins over cupcakes, we garner some votes in the AP & Coaches Poll.

Duke also debuts at #34 in the RPI in the first week it comes out.

Must remember to revoke some press credentials for the folks who voted for us...that'll put us in good with the voters.


Injury Report

Kenyon Wright, Out 3-4 Weeks, Torn Abdominal Muscle.


Recruiting

I continue to recruit the same 7 losers as before, gleefully wasting Duke's money by heavily recruiting guys who have all but signed a letter of intent.


This Week's Stupid Recruit Trick comes courtesy of Rodney Howard, a no-talent shooting guard out of Maryland.

"Yes, I was suspended from school for getting into a fight with some of the kids from school. Yes, this has happened before. I promise, it is just a phase, and I will be on my best behavior in college."

Scratch, scratch, scratch (the sound of a pencil erasing his name off the short list). Rodney, I'm not sure if there's a place for you at Puke if you are going to threaten to be on your best behavior. You see, we only like to recruit head cases.


Tuesday, December 5, 2006, Puke at Butler.

How the mighty have fallen. The oddsmakers like Butler's starters better, and their bench. We go into this one as heavy underdogs.

Sure enough, we don't disappoint. It's Butler 54-34 at the half, and it stays that ugly. Puke falls 89-67.

There were so many gawd-awful performances it's hard to pick one out, but I'd like to highlight the excruciating play of Clayton Hays, who went 3 for 9 from the field, and 1 of 4 from the free throw line (he uses Shaq's free throw technique, apparently) to score 7 points in 34 minutes from the power forward spot.

Puke is now 4-3.


Saturday, December 9, 2006, Puke at Brown

The oddsmakers don't think much of Brown, and pick us as mild favorites.

Happily, the oddsmakers get this wrong. In the first half, we struggle, and its tied at 34. In the second half, Brown hits a few more shots down the stretch, and win 68-64.

A special shout out goes to Chris Woni, and Derricus Granger, the only players on the squad with any talent whatsoever. Apparently, the putrid stench of failure is infectious, as even these two play poorly, shooting a combined 5 of 18 from the field (and 2 for 9 from the line) to score a whopping 14 points from the shooting guard spot.

Puke falls to 4-4. All in all, it was a great week. ;)

[WussGawd]

Week 6 Recruiting and Games

OK. This is more like it. With the two losses last week, Duke fails to garner a single vote in the AP & Coaches' Polls.

To make matters even more enjoyable, Duke drops from #34 to #69 in the RPI.


Injury Report:

Kenyon Wright: Out 2-3 Weeks (Torn Abdominal Muscle)


Recruiting

Some good news greets me on my office fax machine shortly after I arrive:

The following recruits have verbally committed to Duke this week:
SG Davor Jenkins - South Region (NC)

Basket Bytes
Scouting Service


Yes, the first of the new crop of gawd-awful recruits is now playing fly to my spider. Yum.


I continue to recruit the other 6 no-talent players to fill the remaining two scholarships. Now on to our latest feature, Stupid Recruit Tricks.

This weeks stupid recruit statement comes from David Wooley, probably the worst high school small forward since Naismith nailed up the peach baskets. "Some bad news coach. I was suspended for the next game for getting into a fight after school. I hope this does not affect my chances with Duke."

David, David, David. Did you kill him? Did you at least get arrested for aggravated assault? You see, we place special emphasis now on recruiting felons to Duke. I suspect, with a little bit of aggressiveness training, and by cutting back on your medications, we can make you into a model player.


Monday, December 11, 2006, Puke at #7 Stanford

The oddsmakers consider this probably the most lopsided road game since Custer played a road game at Little Big Horn against Sitting Bull. Stanford is considered better at every spot, and on the bench as well. We are going to get killed. :)

Sure enough, it's ugly. The score is 53-38 at the half, and only got worse from there. Stanford wins easily, 91-59.

There are so many performances to highlight again, but I thought I'd point out a couple:

Stanford shooting guard Willie Sanchez lit us up for 31 points and 7 assists, including 19 of 23 from the charity stripe.

On a positive note, here are a few numbers to highlight:

Ricky Jefferson: 26 minutes, 1 of 8 from the field, 3 points, -3. Ricky also cried after the loss, his first crying jag of the year.

From the point guard spot, Mike Milford & Derek Hicks combined for 34 minutes of playing time. Their assist to turnover ratio? .25. Yes, for every assist they dished, they coughed up four turnovers (2 A, 8 TO).

Puke falls to 4-5, our third loss in a row.


Saturday, December 16, 2006, Notre Dame at Puke

The oddsmakers favor Notre Dame, but only narrowly.

As usual, we don't fail to disappoint. At the half, it was tight and competitive, with the Golden Domers leading 38-37. In the second half, our total absence of bench strength makes the difference again. Notre Dame runs away with it, 78-63.

Notre Dame junior small forward Lee Anderson has the game of his career against us, racking up 22 points and 14 rebounds.

Joe Wright turns in the wonderful Puke performance of the day. In 35 minutes, he hits one of 6 from the floor, scoring a total of 2 points as our starting small forward.

To make the news even better, Renaldo Hall suffers a broken skull, and will be out 3 to 4 months. The most astounding thing, is that after doing an MRI, CatScan and XRays of Renaldo's skull, they found nothing.

Puke falls to 4-6 and has lost 4 in a row.

[WussGawd]

Week 7 Recruiting and Games

Shockingly, after a four game losing streak, we still aren't getting any votes in the AP & Coaches Polls. :)

Even better, we've fallen from #69 to #80 in the RPI. Can you say, Not Invited Tournament? I thought you could.


Injury Report

Kenyon Wright is out 1 to 2 weeks with a torn abdominal muscle.
Renaldo Hall is out 3 months with a broken skull (ouch).


Recruiting

All is quiet on the recruiting front. No commitments among my targets, to myself or elsewhere. I continue to waste most of Duke's money heavily recruiting players who are now in the process of filing restraining orders to keep me from contacting them again.

This week's stupid recruit trick comes from Frank Wolfe, a gawd-awful shooting guard out of Albany, NY:

"Until last year, football was my primary gig. That is why I play basketball like it's a contact sport. Maybe that's why I foul out so much, too."

Frank, I don't know if you know it or not, but Puke also has a football team. You could come to Puke and play both. You could be a two-sport, um, well, not star exactly, our programs stink too badly for that. You could be a two-sport scrub. Yeah, two-sport scrub. I have no problems with you playing football here at Puke, and don't even mind you running the risk of a career ending injury. :)


Thursday, December 21, 2006, Kansas State at Puke

The Wildcats are slight favorites in this one. Shockingly, the game has about a thousand no-shows, another sign of progress. We'll turn Cameron Indoor Stadium into a wing of the campus library yet. :p

At halftime, we actually appear to be in danger of snapping the losing streak. Puke leads at the half, 36-34. However, in the second half, our lack of bench players comes to the rescue, and Kansas State wins 82-70.

Line score of the day: 34 minutes, 9 points on 4 of 13 from the field for Joe Wright.

Puke drops to 4-7, 5 losses in a row.


Saturday, December 23, 2006, Puke at Texas Tech

Texas Tech is heavily favored in this one as we come in on the momentum of a five game losing streak.

At the half, I'm again terrified. We're leading 36-32. Then our bench comes to the rescue again, as Texas Tech outscores us 53-22 in the second half to win 85-58.

Line of the game: Clayton Hays, 34 minutes, 1 of 7 from the field, 0 of 4 from the line, 6 points.

Puke drops to 4-8 and has now lost 6 in a row.

[WussGawd]

Excerpts of transcript from the SportsGeek (aka Ron Brown) Radio Talk Show, WRAL (650 AM), Raleigh, NC, Saturday, December 23, 2006

SportsGeek: "Yes, folks, it's been another week, another two losses for a Duke basketball program that is clearly under siege. Let's talk Duke Blue Devil Basketball this hour. I'll be taking calls at 555-1234, and our first caller is Mike in Durham. Mike, you're on the air."

Mike: "Hey, Ron, I just wanted to talk about the game earlier today against Texas Tech."

SG: "Pretty disgusting, eh?"

Mike: "This guy, Coach Gawd. He's gotta go. The sooner the better. He's killing us."

SG: "You're right, Mike. He isn't recruiting the caliber of athletes we're used to. I mean, take a look at that no-talent idiot Ricky Jefferson. And the play on the court, well, don't get me started."

Mike: "No, you don't understand, he's gotta go. He needs to be fired now."

SG: "Mike, I agree, in fact, that's why I'm here to announce on Monday morning, we'll be broadcasting from outside of Cameron Indoor Stadium at street level, every day, until Coach Gawd is fired."

[WussGawd]

Week 8 Recruiting and Games

As I make the short walk from my car in the reserved parking lot near my office, I am verbally assaulted by abuse about who I slept with, about who my mother may have been, and what's going to happen to me if I don't resign. Riot police hold back a jeering mob. Yes, folks, I've reached another milestone. I've inspired my first riot.

Things get better from there. Some joker in the Maintenance Department has hanged me in effigy from the rafters of Cameron Indoor Library.

Ah yes, it's the sort of Monday morning a man lives for. On to the week's events.

Polls:

Shockingly, our six game losing street has been ignored by the coaches and sportswriters. Don't they recognize a first class job of destroying a Division I program when they see it? No votes for me this week.

In the RPI, we drop from #80 to #84, our lowest ranking in the RPI since they invented the idea.


Injury Report


Renaldo Hall-Out 3 Months (Broken Skull)

Recruiting

No movement on the recruiting front. I continue to recruit the same half-dozen Michael Dunleavy wannabes.

This week's stupid recruit trick has been canceled. None of the recruits were funny enough to pick on. Sorry.


Thursday, December 28, 2006, Puke at Clemson

Yes, folks, it's ACC Conference game time already. Our first opponent in the ACC is Clemson, who enter the game a slight favorite. As one of the lesser lights in the ACC, Clemson will be a good test to see just how far we've sunk.

The answer of course, is that we've sunk pretty far. At the half, Puke leads 47-40, and it looks like the 6 game losing streak is toast. But in the second half, our lack of a bench tells, and Clemson railles to win 89-79.

There aren't any truly awful performances to highlight, just a normal phenomenon where Puke puts four people in double figures, and gets absolutely no scoring from anywhere else.

All five Clemson starters score in double figures led by power forward Larry Cleaves, who lights us up with a double double (19 points, 10 boards).

The streak is now 7 as Puke falls to 4-9 (0-1 ACC)


Saturday, December 30, 2006, Maryland at Puke

The unranked Terps come into Cameron Indoor Library as a slight favorite to extend Duke's losing streak to 8.

After a half, it looks like Maryland might run away with it, given our penchant for second half collapses. The Terps lead at the break, 41-35. But in the second half, Darricus Granger goes absolutely wild, willing Duke back into the game. At the buzzer, Ricky Jefferson misses a layup that would have won it, and Duke falls, barely, 80-79.

Darricus Granger goes wild, leading all scorers with 29 points. This team played too well tonight. Must make them run 10 miles as punishment.

Nevertheless, the losing streak is extended to 8, as Puke falls to 4-10 (0-2 ACC).

[WussGawd]

Puke 2006-2007 Midseason Review

4-10. A disappointingly fast start of 4-2 has yielded to an 8 game losing streak. I have to admit, when I took the job 5 years ago, I had only dreamed of a season like this. We've finished the non-conference schedule, and are now ready to assume a new role as ACC Whipping Boy. Will we win another game this season? Who knows.

All in all, I'd have to give us an A- only because of the four wins. Still, there's plenty of times to improve our grades. On to the second half of the regular season.

[tucker342]

seeing Duke struggle almost brings a tear of joy to the eye:D

[WussGawd]

Week 9 Recruiting and Games

I don't even bother to check the polls anymore. I know we're not going to be in them. Nonetheless, I check the CRI Rating to track my team's plummet to the coveted #320 position. Sure enough, we've dropped from #84 to #92. It gets better by the week, but is still not near enough to the holy grail of failure for my standards. Hmm. Maybe I'll also to try to schedule a game with the #320 team each year to track my progress.


Injuries


Renaldo Hall: Out 2-3 Months (Broken Skull)

Recruiting

Some good news greets me in the ol' Inbox this morning.

The following recruits have verbally committed to Duke this week:
SF Calvis Bellairs - East Region (RI)

Basket Bytes
Scouting Service

Calvis is the worst high school senior small forward in America (check out his summary above). His 3 year old brother has more game. Next year, he should enable us to lower the Puke program to an even greater level of ineptitude.

This leaves us just one more to capture, er, recruit.

No Stupid Recruit Trick this week, none of them were funny enough.

I continue to recruit three folks for the remaining opening at shooting guard. I may have recruiting all wrapped up by next week.

On to the basketball. Speaking of basketball, I'm suggesting that tickets have a disclaimer added to them next year to state (borrowing from TMQ): "Warning: May Contain Basketball-Like Substance."


Monday, January 1, 2007, #6 Wake Forest at Puke

Yep, folks, we get to ring in the new year with a blowout loss against the Demon Deacons. I can hardly wait.

Well, OK, it's not the blowout loss we reckoned with, but we'll take it. At the half, it's 45-34 Wake Forest, but they really just coast after that, and we wind up losing 71-56. Most of the Cameron Crazies leave in the middle of the second half to drown their sorrows at one of the many fine drinking establishments in the area, and we leave the stands to a few pitiful boos at the end of the game.

Ricky Jefferson cries again after the game, and has the Candy Apple Red nose again, I've noticed.

'd like to highlight a couple of miserable performances. Clayton Hays shot a wonderful 2 of 13 from the field (both three pointers) to score 6 points in 34 minutes at the small forward spot, while freshman center Damon Sims saw his first extended action at the center spot, scoring only 2 points in 26 minutes for the Pukies.

To make things even better, our crepe paper and balsa wood shooting guard, Kenyon Wright, breaks his arm and is out 1 to 2 months. Yes folks, all in all, it was a successful non-effort.

Puke falls to 4-11 (0-3 ACC) and has now lost 9 in a row.


Saturday, January 6, 2007, Florida State at Puke

Make no mistake about it, Florida State is the biggest obstacle to achieving what I consider to be a reachable goal this year, a last place finish in the ACC. FSU has been a bottom dweller in each of the previous four seasons of the dynasty. They've been so bad that just about everybody pencils them in as an automatic W. The oddsmakers have them as slight favorites, but I'm far from convinced that we've sunk to the Seminoles' level just yet. This game (a home game, to make matters worse) will be a true test of my team's lack of basketball ability.

Sure enough, we aren't there yet. It's 42-32 Puke at halftime, and it stays that way in the second half, 80-70 Puke wins. Like that my dreams of a last place finish in the ACC, and what could have been a double digit losing streak are up in smoke.

Darricus Granger went absolutely wild, scoring 31 points to go with 11 rebounds and 6 assists to erase the awful performances of the rest of the team. Darricus, that'll be a ten-mile run for that performance...can't have you getting a swelled head.

Tragically, we climb to 5-11 (1-3 ACC). This is going to play h-e-double hockey sticks with my attempts to send our CRI rating a plummeting.

[WussGawd]

Week 10 Recruiting and Games

Happily, the tragic win did not greatly impact us in the CRI. We climb from #92 to #91, a mere bump in the road.

It occurs to me I did not include the ACC Standings last week. Let's rectify that error immediately:

Wake Forest 4-0 (16-2)
North Carolina 3-0 (18-0)
Maryland 2-1 (12-4)
Clemson 2-1 (10-5)
NC State 2-2 (10-6)
Georgia Tech 1-3 (12-4)
Virginia 1-3 (10-6)
Puke 1-3 (5-11)
Florida State 0-3 (6-9)

Yes, we are in eighth place in the ACC. Still lots of basketball left to be played though. We could still catch Florida State for that coveted 9th spot.


Injuries

Kenyon Wright: Out 1-2 Months (Fractured Arm)
Renaldo Hall: Out 2-3 Months (Broken Skull)


Recruiting

The following news wraps up the recruiting wars this year:

The following recruits have verbally committed to Duke this week:
SG Frank Wolfe - East Region (NY)

Basket Bytes
Scouting Service

Once again, I'm three for three on my primary targets for recruiting. I'm not sure why some folks think it's hard to recruit in this game. I can get all the gawd-awful players I want. :P

On to the hoops.


Tuesday, January 9, 2007, North Carolina at Puke

Unbeaten North Carolina enters the game as huge favorites, and gets to avenge some of the thumpings they've taken from Duke in recent years.

Sure enough, we get our a**es kicked. At the half, it's 41-28 Tar Heels, and it only gets worse from there. North Carolina romps 95-59. At halftime, we're showered with drink cups, at the final buzzer, I am escorted off the court from an angry mob by a dozen of Durham, NC's finest.

Yes folks, this may have been the climax of my career thus far. There's nothing to tell you you've arrived like getting thumped by 36 points against your cross-state rival on your homecourt. :D

I think we just turned Tar Heel Senior Small Forward Eugene Martin into a lottery pick. He has a triple double against us (20 points, 15 rebounds, 11 assists).

Joe Wright had 10 points and 5 assists for us to shine, but the rest of the team is nothing short of atrocious. What a wonderful team effort we put together to lose this game.

Clayton Hays again stinks up the joint. This time he goes 3 of 13 from the field for 9 points in 34 minutes of action to kill any chance we had of making this a game.

Puke drops to 5-12 (1-4 ACC). We've lost 1 in a row and 10 of the last 11.


Friday, January 12, 2007, Puke at NC State

The Wolfpack are heavy favorites to allow our team to be "Oh-fer" the state of North Carolina.

Sure enough, we don't disappoint. NC State goes up early, and leads 52-35 at the half. In the second half, we expire with barely a peep. NC State cruises 92-67.

Darricus Granger scores 19, but nobody else does much of anything.

Clayton Hays continues his run of Least Valuable Player awards, going 1 for 7 for 7 points in 34 minutes. If only more of our players could play like Clayton, we might have lost this one by 50.

Puke drops to 5-13 (1-5 ACC). The losing streak is now 2 games. We've also lost 11 of our last 12.

[Katon]

Originally posted by WussGawd
Sure enough, we aren't there yet. It's 42-32 Puke at halftime, and it stays that way in the second half, 80-70 Puke wins. Like that my dreams of a last place finish in the ACC, and what could have been a double digit losing streak are up in smoke.

You might be closer than you think. Take a look at the second-half scoreline, then imagine what it might have been without Granger.

Keep up the good work.

[WussGawd]

I'm back!!!!!!

Bet you thought we were done, didn't you.

But I told you, dear anti-Duke faithful, that I will not rest until Duke is as dead as my great-grandfather.

While we talk about Great-Grandpa Willie, I'm reminded of his last words of wisdom to me, while he was on his deathbed. As I leaned over him mournfully, he smiled weakly and said, "Son, come closer." I leaned in carefully with my left ear. "Don't you think this nurse has the best knockers you've ever seen?"

Then he exhaled his last breath. Ever since, I've remembered those words to this day. Words to live by, don't you think?

[WussGawd]

Week 11 Games

Recruiting is done for the year, so we merely have the joys of extending the losing streak and watching us plummet like my stock portfolio the last couple of years in the RPI.

In a word, it's going to be fun.

Shockingly, our miserable 5-13 Puke club is no longer garnering votes in the AP & Coaches' Polls, but that's ok. On a positive note, we drop in the CRI from #91 to #101, our first triple digit ranking.

Here are the ACC Standings entering the week's action:

Wake Forest 18-2 (6-0)
North Carolina 20-0 (5-0)
NC State 11-7 (3-3)
Clemson 11-6 (3-2)
Maryland 12-6 (2-3)
Virginia 11-6 (2-3)
Georgia Tech 12-5 (1-4)
Florida State 7-10 (1-4)
Duke 5-13 (1-5)


Injuries:

Kenyon Wright-Out (1 month-Fractured Arm)
Renaldo Hall-Out (2 months-Broken Skull)

On to the games.


Thursday, January 18, 2007, Puke at Georgia Tech

The Yellow Jackets are heavily favored to extend our streak of losses.

Astonishingly, we play a pretty good first half and lead at the break 40-35. Then our traditional bugaboo this year rears its head, depth. In the second half, Georgia Tech rallies to win 75-64.

Special mention must be made of the play of our starting center Ricky Jefferson. Ricky stood out by shooting 2 of 10 in 34 minutes from the field en route to a 9 point game. Overall this loss was a team effort, one of which we can be very proud.

Puke drops to 5-14 (1-6 ACC). We've lost 3 in a row and 12 of the last 13.

That's the only game for the week, we'll pick up more tomorrow.

[WussGawd]

Week 12 Games


Not surprisingly, we still have failed to garner votes in the AP & Coaches' Poll. The talk shows are openly calling for my firing. And in the most positive development yet, we have dropped from #101 to #112 in the CRI. We've only got 208 spots to go to reach the ultimate goal. :)

To put that in perspective, here are the sampling of the basketball "powers" that are now higher rated than Duke at #112:

#56: St. Bonaventure
#67: Pepperdine
#70: Wyoming
#78: Georgia Southern
#86: Alabama-Birmingham
#94: Texas-Arlington
#101: Colgate (we're not highly regarded against Crest, either, from what I understand)
#108: Arkansas Pine Bluff.

Yes, folks...we're making noises like a real Division I Bottom feeder.


Injuries:

Kenyon Wright-Out (1 month-Fractured Arm)
Renaldo Hall-Out (2 months-Broken Skull)


ACC Standings:
Wake Forest 7-0 (19-2)
North Carolina 5-2 (20-2)
Virginia 4-3 (13-6)
NC State 4-4 (12-8)
Georgia Tech 3-4 (14-5)
Maryland 3-4 (13-7)
Clemson 3-4 (11-8)
Florida State 2-5 (8-11)
Puke 1-6 (5-14)


Wednesday, January 24, 2007, #25 Georgia Tech at Puke

The oddsmakers like the Yellow Jackets to finish sweeping the season series from us, something I look forward to.

We actually come close to disappointing. At the half, it's nip and tuck, and we trail 42-39. It stays competitive in the second half, and only a late run by Tech seals it. Final: Georgia Tech 84, Puke 78.

Georgia Tech shooting guard Brett Lopez lights us up, scoring 24 and adding 8 assists and 7 boards, while small forward Justin Linderman, who scored 23 against us in the game last week, adds 24 to match Lopez.

As might be expected in a game that we only lost by 6, there were no truly awful performances that stood out, just a general lack of depth that lost us the game.

Perhaps most enjoyable about this game from an atmosphere standpoint was that the chorus of boos that greeted us at halftime and at the final buzzer was hollow. A large number of the 11,000 season ticket holders simply disguised themselves as empty seats for this one. We are making progress on all fronts, folks. :)


Puke drops to 5-15 (1-7 ACC). We've now lost 4 in a row, and 13 of 14.


Saturday, January 27, 2007, NC State at Duke

The Wolfpack are heavily favored against us, despite home court advantage.

Sadly, the oddsmakers get it wrong. On the strength of a great game by Clayton Hays, we go into the locker room up 40-39 at the half. In the second half, it stays nip and tuck, with multiple lead changes. Finally, at the buzzer, NC State guard Quinten Delk launches a shot that rolls in and out, and like that Puke holds on for an 82-81 win.

Extra laps for everyone tomorrow. A good losing streak squandered by a team effort. I will have them puking tomorrow by the time I'm done working them, I tell you.

Clayton Hays scored 24. NC State put six players into double figures, but it wasn't enough.

Puke climbs to 6-15 (2-7 ACC). The losing streak is gone.

[tucker342]

Glad to see the dynasty back:)

[WussGawd]

Week 13 Games

The win against NC State leads to a slight rise in the CRI. Puke climbs from #108 to #105. It really pi**es me off, to be honest.

Sure enough, the morning after the win, I run the team 10 miles. It was vaguely satisfying to see Clayton Hays projectile vomit 12 hours after hanging 24 on the Wolfpack. Ah, well, one must look for pleasures where you can after the privations caused by an unneeded win.


Injuries

Kenyon Wright-Out (3-4 Weeks, Fractured Arm)
Renaldo Hall-Out (1-2 Months, Broken Skull)


ACC Standings
Wake Forest 7-1 (20-3)
North Carolina 7-2 (22p-2)
Clemson 5-4 (13-8)
NC State 5-5 (13-9)
Virginia 4-4 (14-7)
Georgia Tech 4-5 (15-6)
Maryland 4-5 (14-8)
Florida State 2-7 (8-13)
Duke 2-7 (6-15)


Thursday, February 1, 2007, Abalamabama-Birmingham at Puke

Yes, it's the traditional Puke midseason sacrificial lamb. We're actually favored against the Blazers, the first time I can recall us being favored in a about two months.

Sure enough, there's a reason we're favored. At the half, it's Puke 48-43, and Darricus Granger has been unconscious. In the second half, the Blazers rally, and fall just short. Final Score: Puke 89, UAB 88.

Darricus Granger does most of the damage for us from the foul line, going 15 of 16 from the charity stripe for 29 points. Ricky Jefferson steps up and has a surprisingly good game as well, scoring 22 to back us up before exiting with an injury. UAB puts 4 players in double figures, but gets little help from the bench to put them over the hump.

I have mixed feelings. It's a win, and all wins at this point are bitterly disappointing. Still, to have to go to the wire against a poor team like this one, a team we would have thrashed easily as recently as last year, is very heartening.

Nevertheless, the win streak is at 2, the first time we've strung together two in a row since November. Duke is now 7-15 (2-7 ACC). Florida State also lost a conference game, which means that we have lost our highly coveted spot in the cellar of the ACC. Ah well, next time, perhaps.


Saturday, February 3, 2007, Duke at #2 North Carolina

Good news. An MRI revealed that Ricky Jefferson's sprained wrist is actually fractured. He's out for a month.

Not surprisingly, we are heavy underdogs against cross-state rivals UNC. It doesn't take long to figure out why.

At the half, it's 46-29 North Carolina. In the second half, it only gets worse. UNC wins 91-51. 5 Tar Heels are in double figures, though none scores more than 15. UNC rested their starters much of the second half.

Darricus Granger made up for his gawd-like performance against Abalama-Birmingham by shooting a dreadful 3 of 13 from the field and racking up a 5 turnovers from the starting shooting guard spot.

Another shout out goes to Valter Oliver, who finally gets some playing time with the injury. In 22 minutes, he goes a medioucre 1 of 2 for 2 points, and hauls in 1 rebound as the guy who logged the most minutes at the center spot.

Chris Woni is completely cowed at this point. As far as I can tell, he took one look at UNC's vaunted lineup, and curled into a fetal position at center court. His line in 27 minutes: 0 for 1 from the field, 3 of 6 from the line, 6 assists, 4 turnovers. He did this will his starting backcourt mate Darricus Granger was laying bricks.

The losing streak is now at one, the winning streak is history, and I'm enjoying good humor once again. Puke falls to 7-16 (2-8 ACC).

[Wolfpack]

Ugh. Some things never change. Don't feel bad about State losing. We've beaten Duke something like twice since 1990 (if you don't count the 1995 season when K was out with his back injury). Last year in Raleigh was our first win against them since we beat them in the ACC Tourney in Herb's first year in 1996. Natch, we choked on it in the ACC tourney final last year, but it was an improvement over 2002 when we were crushed by 30 in the final. :(

[WussGawd]

Week 14 Games


The .500 record does little one way or the other to our CRI ranking. We drop from #105 to #106.


Injuries

Kenyon Wright-Out 2-3 Weeks (Fractured Arm)
Ricky Jefferson-Out 3-4 Weeks (Broken Wrist)
Renaldo Hall-Out 1-2 Months (Broken Skull)

Yes, the casualty list is mounting.


ACC Standings:
North Carolina 9-2 (24-2)
Wake Forest 8-2 (21-4)
Virginia 6-4 (16-7)
NC State 7-5 (15-9)
Georgia Tech 5-5 (16-6)
Clemson 5-6 (13-10)
Maryland 4-7 (14-10)
Puke 2-8 (7-16)
Florida State 2-9 (8-15)


Wednesday, February 7, 2007, Clemson at Puke

Clemson comes into the game heavily favored to extend our losing streak in Cameron Indoor Library.

At the half, it's a close one, and we actually lead 35-30 coming out of the locker room. In the second half, depth again kills us, Clemson goes on a run, and beats Puke 76-65.

Senior Power Forward Larry Cleaves lights us up for 18 points and 12 boards.

Special mention should be made of the rather putrid play of Chris Woni, who has played his way out of a starting job. 16 minutes, 3 points, 3 assists, 3 turnovers.

Darricus Granger had an equally putrid game. He went 5 of 13 from the field to finish with 12 points. The big story though was his passing. Darricus had 1 assist and 5 turnovers, a .20 ratio. Attaboy Darricus.

Puke drops to 7-17 (2-9 ACC). The losing streak is now two games.


Saturday, February 10, 2007, #23 Virginia at Puke

The Cavaliers come in heavily favored to extend our losing streak.

Sure enough, we deliver the light crowd at Cameron Indoor Library the goods. At the end of the first half, we trail 54-44. In the second half, the wheels come off completely. Virginia outscores Puke 48-18 in the second half, and runs away in a laugher, beating Puke on their home court 102-62.

Darricus Granger scores 12 points (on an ugly 5 of 15 from the field. Valter Oliver has another putrid game, scoring a mere 4 points in 25 minutes, and racking up an astonishing -16.

Virginia Junior Small Forward Kevin Hall lights us up, scoring 26 on 10 of 15 shooting, and adding on 9 rebounds to boot as the Cavaliers put 5 players in double figures.

Puke falls to 7-18 (2-10 ACC). The losing streak is now at 3 games. We have guaranteed a losing record in the ACC, and have undoubtedly assured that there will be no postseason play in Durham this year. Hahahaha.

[WussGawd]

Duke Schedules Press Conference for 3:00 PM, Coach Wuss Gawd to be fired

Monday, February 12, 2007

Durham, NC (AP)

The Durham Fishwrap-Express is reporting that Duke Athletic Director William Brown has scheduled a 3:00 PM press conference to report a major announcement regarding the embattled Duke University Men's Basketball Program.

On condition of anonymity, multiple sources within the athletic department state that Coach Wuss Gawd will be asked to resign.

Coach Gawd, whose first teams enjoyed success in the tournament, has recently led the program into a number of player suspensions for off the court behavior, and a dismal showing on the court, where Duke is 7-18. He has come under much criticism for...

[WussGawd]

Transcript of Meeting, Monday Morning, February 12, 2007, Office of William Brown, Duke Athletic Director.

Coach Wuss Gawd enters the room wearing dress slacks and a blue blazer. In his left hand, he carries a large manila envelope, which he sets aside this morning, and a copy of the newspaper with the story about his imminent firing.

WussGawd: "We need to talk, Bill."

William Brown: "Yes, Wuss, I suppose we do."

WG: "I'm assuming there's some truth to this story."

WB: (Looking Shaken) "Yes, Wuss, there is. I'd have preferred to meet with you before this got to the press, but I think we both know the program isn't where it needs to be."

WG: "Oh, I don't know, Bill. I think it's getting closer to where I want it to be everyday."

WB: (Surprised) "What do you mean? We're awful. We just lost by 40 to Virginia on our home court. ****ing Virginia!"

WG: "OK. So maybe it isn't where you want it to go. But suppose a guy were trying to take the most hated program in America, and decided to risk his career to destroy it, and it's close to destroyed, I'd say he's done pretty good, don't you?"

WB: (Face Reddening) "Is this some kind of twisted joke? What the he** are you talking about?"

WG: "I'm talking about my personal jihad against the evil that is Duke basketball."

WB: "Is that what you want to do. Well, then, Wuss, I've got no choice but to fire you, effective immediately. Clean out your desk, I don't want you there for the press conference."

WG: (Smiling as he opens the envelope) "Sure, Bill, whatever you say, but before we do that, I want to show you something. I've got a friend here in Durham. He's a freelance photographer. His work's good. You've probably seen some of it. Time Magazine, Vanity Fair, some of the fashion rags, he's got a great portfolio."

WB: (Interrupting) "What the **** are you talking about?"

WG: (Ignoring William and slowly spreading a stack of photographs) "Oh, did I mention he's a graduate of the University of North Carolina. Anyway, I told him about my dilemma, and commissioned him for a job. I thought you'd like to see the results."

WB: (Looking in horror) "Uh, uh, uh."

WG: "OK, I'll be the first to admit, I'm not sure he's ever done action photography before, but you have to admit these are pretty vivid. I mean, you and the Butler twins. How do you do it? I mean, I'm the coach of a major university and I can't get women this hot. Heck, and you're twenty years older than I am. They're what, 19? Maybe 18 when this photograph was taken. What is the age limit for statutory in North Carolina, anyway? Ah well, doesn't matter."

WB: (his face a mask of pain) "My god"

WG: "Anyway, your wife might not understand, but I've got to admire your taste in women. One question though, what is Barbie Butler doing with that riding crop. Never mind. In any case, I can understand your lust for the Butler twins, I mean, who doesn't. But what about this one with them, you, the goat, and a tub full of Wesson Oil. I'm sure there's a story here I'd like to hear. Or better still, the press might find these interesting. I could hand them out before the press conference, think of it. Oh what a media circus that would be."

WB: "What do you want?"

WG: "Five years. I need five years to finish destroying your program. I will not renew the contract again, but I want a five year extension."

WB: "Or else?"

WG: "Hmm. I suppose that the local rags won't be able to publish these photographs intact, but there's always Guccione and Penthouse, I suppose. Heck, they might even do another spread with the Butler twins...assuming they're of legal age, anyway."

WB: (mustering up one last show of defiance) "The Board will never approve a contract for a coach with your track record."

WG: (shaking his head in mock disappointment) "Bill, you disappoint me. Or is this some stubborn, suicidal last show of resistance? Either way, you can do this. Heck, any old codger that can persuade the Butler twins into bed ought to be able to sell the board on granting a contract extension."

WB: (looking defeated) "OK, I'll see what I can do."

[WussGawd]

Week 15 Games

Happily, two homecourt losses do nothing good for our CRI Rating. We drop to #117.

Injury Report

Kenyon Wright-Out 1-2 Weeks (Fractured Arm)
Ricky Jefferson-Out 2-3 Weeks (Broken Ribs)
Renaldo Hall-Out 1 month (Broken Skull)

ACC Standing

North Carolina 11-2 (26-2)
Wake Forest 10-2 (23-4)
NC State 8-5 (16-9)
Virginia 7-5 (17-8)
Clemson 7-6 (15-10)
Georgia Tech 5-7 (16-8)
Maryland 4-8 (14-12)
Puke 2-10 (7-18)
Florida State 2-11 (8-17)

Hmm. With the right kind of swoon, maybe we can even snatch that coveted last place spot in the ACC from Florida State. Goals, goals, must always have goals.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007, Puke at #4 Wake Forest

Needless to say, the oddsmakers expect us to get waxed. I can hardly wait.

Darricus Granger again tries his best to be a one man team, and we trail by only 6, 33-27, at the half. In the second half, the same lack of depth that has killed us now for weeks does it again, and Wake Forest blows us away 84-59.

I must remember to prescribe extra laps for Darricus, he scored 29 and added 10 rebounds in the loss. We put three Wake Forest players into double figures.

Another set of reverse of kudos for Valter Oliver, the worst center in college basketball, who played 20 minutes, committed three turnovers, and scored not a point. Attaboy Valter.

We have now lost 4 in a row and fall to 7-19 (2-11 ACC). Next up, the Terps on the road.


Saturday, February 17, 2007, Puke at Maryland

Our quest for a coveted 20 loss season takes us to College Park, Maryland and the Maryland Terrapins. The oddsmakers again have faith in our ability to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory, and consider us heavy underdogs.

Sure enough, we don't disappoint. Maryland runs away in a laugher 89-52 after taking a 50-29 lead at the break.

Maryland Senior Shooting Guard JR Anderson lights us up for 22 points, and six assists as one of five Terrapins players to score in double figures.

Chris Woni scores 13 for Duke, but nobody else does a thing. Valter Oliver line score: 33 minutes, 0 for 1 from the field, 0 points.

Crummy Player of the Game Honors go to Darricus Granger. Apparently, making him run a marathon on Thursday did little to help his game. he shot 1 of 11 from the field, coughed up the ball 4 times, scoring 2 points in 11 minutes of action before the assistants wisely gave him the hook. Attaboy Darricus.

Puke falls to 7-20 (2-12 ACC) and has now lost five games in a row.

[WussGawd]

I'm back. Yes, the dynasty you thought had been given up for dead is being revived in all it's glory. I told you, I will not rest until Duke is regarded as the worst program in the country. :)

[WussGawd]

Week 16 Games

Happily, we slip to #143 in the RCI. Things are looking up already.

Groan. Screwed the pooch on the ACC Standings this week. We are locked in a tie with Florida State for last though, fwiw. :)


Thursday, February 22, 2004, Puke at Florida State

Yes, it's again time for that titanic battle for "Worst Team in the ACC", it's the second and last Duke-Florida State matchup. Unfortunately, we've owned this series in recent years, though the oddsmakers have installed Florida State as a prohibitive favorite.

I drag out my favorite "Choke on one for the Gipper" demotivational speech and hope for the best, er, worst, er, well, you know what I mean.

Anyway, it isn't enough. Florida State blows a 42-35 halftime lead and we win a squeaker, 73-69. Darricus Granger scores 19 to lead all scorers, both teams put three players in double figures. It was our depth that did Florida State in, that and the fact their coach apparently couldn't coach a team out of a paper bag. I mean, how bad do you have to be to lose to a team whose coach (me) is deliberately recruiting 1 star dirtballs and basically drinking beers on the bench while the games are playing?

I hate you, Florida State, I really do. Anyway, our losing streak is snapped, and we climb to 3-12 in the ACC, 8-20 overall.


Saturday, February 24, 2007, Duke at Virginia

Some of you may recall that Virginia hammered us by 40 in Camera Indoor Library a few weeks ago. Certainly, the oddsmakers remember and favor the Cavaliers rather heavily.

Alas, it's not to be. We trail 31-28 at the half, and go on to lose 69-65, but somehow, it just doesn't feel right to only lose by 4. More laps for everybody, that's the trick. :)

SG Kenyon Wright puts up 15 and has 6 assists, while Virginia PF Tierre Felton put up 16 to lead all scorers. Virginia SG Joe White contributed with a double-double (14 points, 11 Assists), as did Virginia SF Kevin Hall (11 points, 13 rebounds).

A special shout out goes to our poopy diaper of the week, Chris Woni, who shot 2 of 13 in 25 minutes at the small forward spot. Nice job, Chris.

We have dropped to 3-13 ACC, 8-21 overall.

[Kodos]

Congrats on the Golden Scribe! :)

[WussGawd]

Conference Championship Week Games

Sadly, the win against Florida State hurts our CRI ranking. We climb to #137. Ricky Jefferson is now healthy, just in time to help us make our miracle run through the conference tournament. Hahaha.

Injuries

Renaldo Hall is out 3-4 weeks with a Broken Skull.

Final ACC Standings:

North Carolina 14-2 (29-3)
Wake Forest 14-2 (27-4)
Virginia 9-7 (19-10)
Clemson 9-7 (18-11)
NC State 8-8 (16-13)
Maryland 7-9 (17-13)
Georgia Tech 6-10 (17-11)
Puke 3-13 (8-21)
Florida State 3-13 (8-21)

Duke will face Florida State in the first round of the ACC Tournament.


Thursday, March 1, 2007, Puke at Florida State

After Florida State's loss last week, and the return of sharp as a marble Ricky Jefferson, the oddsmakers install us as slight favorites.

Unfortunately, Florida State folds like a tortilla. It's 53-28 at the half, Puke, and it only gets worse from there, as the Pukies win 95-60 and move on to the quarterfinals.

Power Forward Clayton Hays has the game of his life, scoring 21, while Ricky Jefferson picks up a double-double (12 points, 10 rebounds) as we put five starters into double figures. Florida Sate's offense goes stone cold, and that was pretty much all she wrote.

Puke climbs to 4-13 vs. ACC, 9-21 overall. Next up, a matchup againist #1 Ranked North Carolina.


Friday, March 2, 2007, Puke at #1 North Carolina

The atmosphere on campus was electric as Puke fans dared to dream. The oddsmakers, however, give our faithful little hope, as we are heavy underdogs.

Sure enough, the oddsmakers are right. We trail 43-31 at the break, then totally collapse in the second half. North Carolina romps to an easy victory, 95-65.

Darricus Granger leads the Pukies with 20 (on 6 of 18 shooting, way to go, Darricus), but the rest of the team does little. We put five North Carolina players into double figures, including SG Rayford Hammond who lights us up for 23.

We drop to 4-14 vs. the ACC, 9-22 overall. So ends the season.

Other ACC Tournament Scores:
March 2, 2007:
#2 Wake Forest 88, Georgia Tech 58
Maryland 75, Virginia 63
Clemson 88, NC State 76

March 3, 2007:
#1 North Carolina 90, Clemson 68
#2 Wake Forest 71, Maryland 62

March 4, 2007:
#2 Wake Forest 80, #1 North Carolina 78 (OT)

[WussGawd]

Congrats on the Golden Scribe! :)

I would like to thank the academy, all the little people I stepped on on my way to the top, and the makeup gal, and that hooker in the Motel 6 years ago, and her sister, and the goat, and the dwarf, and, oops, maybe I didn't want to thank that many people. :o

Thanks, Kodos. :)

[WussGawd]

Week 1, 2007 NIT & NCAA Tournaments

Tuesday, March 6, 2007, NIT Tournament, First Round Scores:

Richmond 75, Oklahoma 70
Massachusetts 92, Rhode Island 67
Georgia Southern 103, Tulane 73
NC State 79, Minnesota 61
Oklahoma State 80, Illinois 73
Nebraska 92, Connecticut 73
New Mexico 85, Wyoming 57
Pepperdine 82, South Florida 74

NIT Tournament, Wednesday March 7, 2007 First Round Scores:

Long Island 90, Villanova 66
Washington 70, Georgetown 60
Georgia Tech 90, Kansas 86 (OT)
Houston 81, Miami 72
Oregon 81, Texas A&M 58
LSU 85, Creighton 64
UNLV 79, Utah State 73
BYU 96, LaSalle 89

Thursday, March 8, 2007, NCAA Tournament First Round Scores

East Regional:
#9 Mississippi State 86, #8 Memphis 74
#7 Georgia 83, #10 Maryland 74
#2 Iowa (#6) 88, #15 James Madison 50
#1 Providence (#4) 91, #16 Cornell 59

Midwest Regional:
#8 Wisconsin 70, #9 UCLA 64
#10 Mississippi 80, #7 Boston College (#23) 72
#2 Iowa State (#5) 91, #15 Wright State 56
#1 Kentucky (#3) 92, #16 University of Missouri Kansas City 64

South Regional:
#11 South Carolina 75, #6 Florida (#22) 73
#5 Louisville (#20) 87, #12 Furman 68
#4 Alabama (#18) 106, #13 UNC-Asheville 48
#3 Missouri (#9) 112, #14 Mississippi Valley State 49

West Regional:
#11 Clemson 89, #6 Gonzaga (#21) 70
#5 California (#17) 92, #12 Air Force 67
#4 Syracuse (#13) 86, #13 Weber State 50
#3 Michigan State (#11) 96, #14 Eastern Kentucky 42

Friday, March 9, 2007, NCAA Tournament First Round Scores:

East Regional:
#11 Siena 74, #6 Vanderbilt 72
#5 Arizona (#16) 87, #12 St. Francis (PA) 62
#4 Texas (#14) 78, #13 Northern Illinois 67
#3 Stanford (#8) 90, #14 American 55

Midwest Regional:
#11 Arkansas-Little Rock 76, #6 St. Joseph's (#24) 64
#5 Cincinnati (#19) 78, #12 Vermont 50
#4 Michigan (#15) 101, #13 Evansville 72
#3 Tennessee (#12) 94, #14 Jacksonville State 53

South Regional:
#8 Virginia 66, #9 George Washington 64
#7 Temple (#25) 85, #10 Xavier 81 (OT)
#2 Notre Dame (#10) 97, #15 Southern Miss 76
#1 Wake Forest (#2) 92, #16 North Carolina A&T 43

West Regional:
#8 Fresno State 94, #9 Indiana 70
#7 Arkansas 78, #10 Arizona State 65
#2 Texas Tech (#7) 83, #15 Sam Houston State 57
#1 North Carolina (#1) 89, #16 Cal-State Northridge 51


Saturday, March 10, 2007, NCAA Tournament Second Round Scores:

East Regional:
#1 Providence (#4) 90, #9 Mississippi State 51
#2 Iowa (#6) 87, #7 Georgia 70

Midwest Regional:
#1 Kentucky (#3) 89, #8 Wisconsin 54
#2 Iowa State (#5) 102, #10 Mississippi 61

South Regional:
#5 Louisville (#20) 77, #4 Alabama (#18) 73
#11 South Carolina 83, #3 Missouri (#9) 76

West Regional:
#4 Syracuse (#13) 81, #5 California (#17) 79 (OT)
#3 Michigan State (#11) 80, #11 Clemson 70 (OT)


Sunday, March 11, 2007, NCAA Tournament Second Round Scores:

East Regional:
#4 Texas (#14) 72, #5 Arizona (#16) 62
#11 Siena 79, #3 Stanford (#10) 68

Midwest Regional:
#4 Michigan (#15) 78, #5 Cincinnati (#20) 74
#3 Tennessee (#9) 86, #11 Arkansas-Little Rock 52

South Regional:
#1 Wake Forest (#2) 83, #8 Virginia 49
#7 Temple (#21) 83, #2 Notre Dame (#12) 62

West Regional:
#1 North Carolina (#1) 81, #8 Fresno State 77
#2 Texas Tech (#7) 68, Arkansas #7 68

[WussGawd]

Week 2, NCAA & NIT Tournaments

Monday, March 12, 2007, NIT Tournament Second Round Scores:

Massachusetts 105, Richmond 68
NC State 98, Georgia Southern 62
Oklahoma State 73, Nebraska 69
New Mexico 85, Pepperdine 82 (OT)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007, NIT Second Round Scores:

Washington 78, Long Island 75
Georgia Tech 87, Houston 58
Oregon 94, LSU 76
UNLV 77, BYU 71

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 NIT Quarterfinals Scores

Washington 76, Massachusetts 64
NC State 81, Georgia Tech 58


Thursday, March 15, 2007, NIT Quarterfinal Scores

Oklahoma State 72, Oregon 71
New Mexico 76, UNLV 66


Thursday, March 15, 2007, NCAA Sweet Sixteen Scores:

East Regional:
#1 Providence (#4) 68, #4 Texas (#14) 59

Midwest Regional:
#1 Kentucky (#3) 81, #4 Michigan (#15) 65

South Regional:
#7 Tempe (#21) 82, #11 South Carolina 50

West Regional:
#2 Texas Tech (#7) 81, #3 Michigan State (#8) 68


Friday, March 16, 2007, NCAA Tournament Sweet Sixteen Scores:

East Regional:
#2 Iowa (#6) 98, #11 Siena 72

Midwest Regional:
#2 Iowa State (#5) 79, #3 Tennessee (#9) 64

South Regional:
#1 Wake Forest (#2) 82, #5 Louisville (#19) 64

West Regional:
#4 Syracuse (#13) 70, #1 North Carolina (#1) 68


Saturday, March 17, 2007, NCAA Tournament Elite Eight Scores:

East Regional:
#2 Iowa (#6) 86, #1 Providence (#4) 74

Midwest Regional:
#2 Iowa State (#5) 89, #1 Kentucky (#3) 67


Sunday, March 18, 2007, NCAA Tournament Elite Eight Scores:

South Regional:
#1 Wake Forest 72, #7 Temple 60

West Regional:
#4 Syracuse 67, #2 Texas Tech 62

[WussGawd]

NCAA & NIT Final Four Week

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, NIT Final Four:

Washington 83, NC State 71
Oklahoma State 97, New Mexico 87


Wednesday, March 22, 2007, NIT Championship Game:

Oklahoma State 81, Washington 72


Saturday, March 24, 2007, NCAA Final Four:

Wake Forest 80, Iowa 72
Syracuse 69, Iowa State 67


Monday, March 26, 2007, NCAA Championship Game:

Syracuse 94, Wake Forest 63

[tucker342]

Good to see the dynasty back!:D

That would've been so cool if Iowa would've played Iowa State in the Championship Game:D

[WussGawd]

Good to see the dynasty back!:D

That would've been so cool if Iowa would've played Iowa State in the Championship Game:D

I was actually thinking the same thing. :)

[WussGawd]

2006-2007 Season Recap:

The Season in General.

Yes folks, we certainly have come a long way since last year's 21-13 finish. 9-21 in the fifth year, 8th in the ACC. For those of you following the trends, here was the final finish.

2003: 30-7 Overall (14-4 ACC), Elite Eight Tournament Finish
2004: 30-6 Overall (14-4 ACC), Sweet 16 Finish
2005: 28-8 Overall (13-5 ACC), Elite Eight Finish
2006: 21-13 Overall (7-11 ACC), Eliminated in First Round of NCAA Tournament.
2007: 9-22 Overall (4-14 ACC), No Postseason Play.

Yes, folks, we have taken steps to turn Duke into a bad program. But you'll recall that finishing 8th in the ACC was not my ultimate goal. Finishing last in the ACC is not my ultimate goal. My goal is to set the standard for failure by taking the Puke Blue Imps, as I call them, and turn them into the #320 program in the nation, as determined by the CRI Rankings. We didn't get there, not by a large margin. Chances are we won't get there as a member of the ACC (more on that later, much later). Yes, to truly lower the bar on suckiness, we may have to switch conferences. Nonetheless, we are on our way.

Last season, you may recall that I talked about my good friend and mentor, Coach Alfred "Phog" McMuddled, the worst small college basketball coach in history. We talked about the factors of success. Without further ado, let's look at that scale of success measures again:

1. Losing Record in the ACC.
2. First Time Finishing Out of the Top 25.
3. First Season without 20 wins.
4. First Year Missing NCAA Tournament.
5. First Year Missing NIT Tournament
6. First Last Place Finish in the ACC.
7. First 20 Loss season.
8. First Winless Season in ACC.
9. First Winless Overall Record.
10. First #320 Finish in RPI.

As you can see, from last year, where we accomplished goal #1, we have truly achieved. Goals 1-5 & 7 all happened this season. Next up is a winless season in the ACC. We are close, but it may take some time to get to our ultimate goal, as Florida State is a truly terrible program. The last of our talented veterans are gone. Nobody left on the roster was more than 2 star recruit out of high school. We had another gawd-awful collections of 1 star recruits to add to the roster with the coming season. If we all work together, we can truly achieve wretchedness. I look forward to it.

That's all for the moment. Look for a link here (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?t=23167) soon for the 2007-2008 Season of It Rhymes With Puke.