New Feature: Ask the FOFC Wives!

[WSUCougar]

Given the humorous tidbits we've had in the past (remember that one live exchange with someone's drunk wife?), I thought it might be entertaining if we came up with a question or a few, then we all submitted them to our wives/girlfriends/partners/pets, and then all reported back here.

Possible first questions:

(1) Define "text sim."

(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

(3) Are you hot?

(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

[vtbub]

1. "I have no idea, those damn computer games."

2. "Fucked up, zoned out."

3. "No."

4. "collosal squid, what the frail is that?"

Quotations from Mrs. Vtbub.

[Subby]

(1) "You're a dork."

(2) "You're a dork."

(3) "You're a dork."

(4) "You're a dork."

Well that couldn't have gone much worse...thanks.

[scooper]

1. Huh? Some computer term.

2. Nothing else exists.

3. Of course.

4. Giant Squid yes. Collosal Squid no.

[Blade]

(1) "I don't know" as she rolls her eyes...

(2) "Idiotic and annoying"

(3) "Sure"

(4) "No"

I think she was about to slap me...all I heard as she walked away was "Waste my time..."

Mrs. Blade can be an angry one!

[Neuqua]

I'm anticipating the answers from the first lady of FOFC (Mrs. Maple Leaf.)

[scooper]

An upadate:

"Ok, now you have left me hanging. I figured there would be some big revelation at the conclusion of the e-mail. Oh well, It's nice to know that my response is going to be posted for millions of people to make fun of."

Ha! Shows what she knows. It's more like dozens.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally posted by Neuqua
I'm anticipating the answers from the first lady of FOFC (Mrs. Maple Leaf.) No way I'm bringing her near this board. After getting a look at the "What do you look like" thread, I'm sure she'd leave me for one of you studs.

[MizzouRah]

This is funny stuff! I'll try... Dialing #....

1 - I don't know

2 - Away from me

3 - Yes

4 - No


Todd

[moriarty]

(1) Define "text sim."
simulating a text file?

(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.
fixated!

(3) Are you hot?
Sassy more like it!

(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

Yes, a certain man told me about it


I personally like the first answer. Femine logic at work there (can you tell she's in sales?)

[WSUCougar]

My wife's answers, via email:

(1) Define "text sim." - Like imaginary numbers...simulated text.

(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming. - Totally engulfed.

(3) Are you hot? - Only when my pants are on fire! [HA! Classic modesty from a decidedly hot blonde...]

(4) Have you heard of the colossal squid? - My hubby's got one in his pants!
[HA! Classic truth from a decidedly hot blonde...]

[vex]

(1) Define "text sim."

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, leave me alone."


(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

"Ignores everything/everyone around, is useless"


(3) Are you hot?

"I can't answer that."


(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

"Nope."



These are from my girlfriend.

[moriarty]

This is funny.

We should ask them what FOFC stands for next time ... could be interesting.

[GrantDawg]

(1) Define "text sim."

Simulated text?

(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

Easily Agitated

(2) Are you hot?

Yes

(4) Have you heard of the colossal squid?

Yes

[vex]

Originally posted by moriarty
This is funny.

We should ask them what FOFC stands for next time ... could be interesting.


I think I'm done with asking questions.;)

[Masked]

From my girlfriend

(1) Define "text sim."

um, a text based simulation?

(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

Oblivious

(3) Are you hot?

no, my office is rather chilly

(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

it was in a Good Eats episode right?

[Alan T]

Here are my wife's answers. I thought after the first question she was going to just ignore my stupid IMs :)




[16:01] Alan T: (1) Define "text sim."


[16:03] Alan T: you there?
[16:04] Kathryn: Yeah.. hang on.. I just got a phone call.. almost off
[16:05] Kathryn: Okay
[16:05] Kathryn: Text sim
[16:05] Kathryn: doesn't that test the similarities between programming languages?
[16:06] Alan T: (2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.


[16:06] Kathryn: Withdrawn and occasionally going WOO, when something strikes his fancy
[16:06] Alan T: (3) Are you hot?
[16:06] Kathryn: Depends on the degree
[16:06] Alan T: (4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?
[16:07] Kathryn: Yes
[

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Alan T
Withdrawn and occasionally going WOO, when something strikes his fancy
Okay, I don't know about the rest of you, but I got a good chuckle out of that line.

[Alan T]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Okay, I don't know about the rest of you, but I got a good chuckle out of that line.

I just want to state for the record, that I have never gone WOO in my entire life.

She must be on drugs.. thats all I can think.. :)

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Alan T
I just want to state for the record, that I have never gone WOO in my entire life.
...but have you ever had your fancy struck? :D

[Alan T]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
...but have you ever had your fancy struck? :D


Alot more before my daughter was born than after :)

[EagleFan]

She was confused. It's actually HARRRRRRRR that she keep hearing, not WOO. :D

I'll ask my wife when she gets home tonight but my guesses are:

1) No
2) Why
3) Stop Bothering Me
4) I can only think of one thing that's collosal... (that one may be a figment of my imagination)

[mckerney]

Enough with the bullshit questions, you guys need to ask the ladies if Cocky & Funny works!

[vex]

We can't even get them to tell us if they are hott or not:(

[mckerney]

Well, my guess would be is that they don't want to lie, and they don't want to say no... :rolleyes:

[Tekneek]

1. "Text simulation"

2. "Obsessed"

3. "No"

4. "Yes...colossal means giant, right?"

[sachmo71]

(1) Define "text sim."

"Text is like a book. Sim is similar. Text Sim. Right?"


(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

"Intense."

(3) Are you hot?

"Yes."

(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

"Yes. Saw pictures of it."
"Now come to bed you big hunka man meat, you." **


**The preceeding quote was added by the author to make others think his is a stud

[bigdawg2003]

Looks like Alan's wife is a Ric Flair fan

[tucker342]

This is great:D

[CamEdwards]

sachmo... did she make you wear the mask?

[Swaggs]

My wife did not care to participate. :(

[Airhog]

Define Text sim

1.text sim? um, im gonna guess its when you play sim, but with text only. like html

How does your bf act when he plays video games?

2. lol zoned out?

Are you hot?

3. Hell no *snorts*

Tell me about the collossal squid?

4. LOL is this supposed to be about that giant squid? then yeah, if not..no

What is FOFC?

5. isn' that that football thing u go to?

[Celeval]

1) *snore*
2) *snore*
3) *snore* *cough* *rollover*
4) *snore*

I may ask again tomorrow morning.

[McSweeny]

ok here's what my girlfriend had to say:

1. define "text sim"

is it like... mmm... ahhh shit! like the way a computer recognizes text?

2. Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming

zoned out

3. Are you hot?

yep, of course i am. Like you would be with me if i wasn't? Plus the heat is on in here

4. Have you heard of the collosal squid?
nooo... should i have?

5. What does FOFC stand for?

:::long pause:::

fucking over flying chicks. now leave me alone

[AnalBumCover]

Originally posted by McSweeny
5. What does FOFC stand for?

:::long pause:::

fucking over flying chicks. now leave me alone

LOL :D

[Airhog]

QOTM material baby!

[WSUCougar]

Today's questions for the womenfolk:

1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

5. Name five football terms.

[sachmo71]

Originally posted by CamEdwards
sachmo... did she make you wear the mask?

Nope, I had to wear a different prosthetic device. :(

[Radii]

"3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!""

I can't wait to read the various answers to that one.

[Alan T]

[11:49] Alan T: 1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?
[11:51] Kathryn: Uhhh... probably something to do with one of those five hundred fantasy leagues you do.
[11:51] Alan T: 2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

[11:52] Kathryn: You're kidding right? Let me think
[11:55] Alan T: you are running out of time :)
[11:55] Kathryn: You are such an asshat.
[11:55] Kathryn: I don't know.
[11:55] Kathryn: GRRR
[11:55] Alan T: 3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"
[11:57] Kathryn: If that has anything to do with plasma screen t.v's, motorcycles or speed boats.. you're in trouble
[11:58] Alan T: 4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."
[11:58] Kathryn: SOUL SIZE MIK
[11:58] Alan T: 5. Name five football terms.
[11:59] Kathryn: touchdown, touchback, quarterback, linebacker, 2 point conversion

[moriarty]

3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"
[11:57] Kathryn: If that has anything to do with plasma screen t.v's, motorcycles or speed boats.. you're in trouble



Classic.

[mckerney]

I should start a poll on the over/under of the number or divorces to result from this thread.

[Alan T]

Originally posted by mckerney
I should start a poll on the over/under of the number or divorces to result from this thread.

If my wife hasn't left me before now, this thread won't do anything worse to me :)

[Ben E Lou]

She Who Must Be Obeyed, being an English major, saw fit to write a bit more than most...

1. "Text sim" I am guessing this refers to a text based simulation game, meaning the game simulates some reality (ie, managing a football team) but there is no animation/pictures--it is all words, numbers, charts, etc. Is that right?

2. How does Ben behave while gaming? It depends on what game he is playing, however the variations are very subtle. In general, he looks like he is in a coma and can sit for hours staring at the computer screen without any "behavior". You are glad to hear him typing and using the mouse so you can know that he is actually able to move. (Apparently one's ability to hear greatly decreases as well.) The variation in this "behavior" or lack thereof occurs when he is playing an on-line game that is real time and he is much more intense about it. At these times, the coma has more of the look of a cat staring down its prey before it pounces.

3. Am I hot? Actually, I am quite comfortable right now. ;-) Chilly rain outside but a warm cup of coffee and a comfortable office inside.

4. The collosal squid? Isn't that the creature that attacked Captain Nemo's sub in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? No? Hmmmm, couldn't tell you.

5. FOFC--Front Office Football Central? Do I get a prize if I am right?

[Airhog]

Hmm Skydog's wife has an advantage, having posted here. :D

[Ben E Lou]

Originally posted by Airhog
Hmm Skydog's wife has an advantage, having posted here. :D Actually she knows the names for most/all of the games I play (including Front Office Football), and why I like them. Although she gets annoyed at times (I have learned to NEVER NEVER NEVER be playing an online multiplayer game when she gets home from work. Not speaking to her when she walks in the door is a problem for some reason.... ;)), she considers gaming to be one of my "hobbies" and therefore takes an active interest in it. We had a 15-20 minute conversation last night about RoN.

[Airhog]

Wow, If Only I could get my gf interested in my gaming. We have only found one game we both enjoyed playing, and that was roller coaster tycoon. She hates it when I play video games when she is around. Of course she isnt much better when she goes and get on the computer for 3-4 hours. Of course the woman is always right :D

[Joe Stallings]

Well my wife's answers were uneventful. But now, when I asked, "Are you hot?," she said, "you once thought so." Which instantly reminded me of this classic exchange in Sam Raimi's "Army of Darkness":

<b>Evil Sheila</b>: You found me beautiful once...
<b>Ash</b>: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!

http://www.400softwarestudios.com/temp/ash.jpg

:D

[Maple Leafs]

You really want to have fun? Have the wives go to the "What do you look like" thread and ask them which of you are "dateable".

[Alan T]

Originally posted by Maple Leafs
You really want to have fun? Have the wives go to the "What do you look like" thread and ask them which of you are "dateable".

LOL!

[scooper]

1. Front Office Football Chat? Something along those lines.

2. My husband is an asshat. I am assuming that it is one of those made up slang words that can be used in any number of ways like "Stop being a "Bum Hug" or Get over it you "Fart Knocker".

3. Yea for you. Big friggin' whoop.

4. "Solecismic" You are just going to have to assume that I pronounced that right!

5. Offense, Defense, Sack, Two Point Conversion, Touchdown, Hail Mary, Field Goal, Punt, Kick Off, Off Sides, Holding, Face Mask, "YOU SUCK REF" (That's a typically football term in our house) , . . . . . Need I go on? You have to give some of us wives credit that we are not all only interested in shopping on Saturday and Sunday afternoons.

[JeeberD]

These are fom my girlfriend...

1. Define "text sim."

Text sim? Simulated text? Simulated games things..?

2. Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

Loses track of time. That's about it. Acis a little juvenile.

3. Are you hot?

Laughs...you tell me that I am all the time. Do I feel attractive? Yes...

4. Have you heard of the collosal squid?

Laughs...No, what's that?

5. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

FOFC? I don't know...

6. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

Asshat? I don't know, what's an asshat. "People who don't know how to drive are asshats..."

7. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

Laughs heartly... "OK...a what? A wigfecta? Is it contagious?"

8. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

Sole-size-mick

9. Name five football terms.

Touchdown, fullback, runningback, quarterback, defense, offense, whatever...

She did a lot of laughing, so I guess that she thinks the questions are pretty funny. She also had no clue what some of the terms were. But she did know her football terms. That's one of the reasons I love that woman...

[Marmel]

1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

A: Front Office Football

2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

A: Stick it up your Asshat.

3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

A: Congratulations!

4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

A: Sole is mic

5. Name five football terms.

A: first down, first and 10, touchdown, field goal, penalty

[moriarty]

Originally posted by mckerney
I should start a poll on the over/under of the number or divorces to result from this thread.

Well I've asked twice now on the second set of questions and still haven't even received a response.

Then again, alot of things I ask my wife for never get a response.

:(

[WSUCougar]

1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

A: Freaky online fat chubbies

2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

A: An asshat is what a donkey wears on his head.

3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

A: Wigtastic! Now go wig-mow the wig-lawn!

4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

A: Sole siz mick

5. Name five football terms.

A: first down, scrimmage, touchdown, field goal, fumble

[Swaggs]

Wow...WSUCougar's wife is funnier than him. ;)

[BishopMVP]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

A: Freaky online fat chubbies


Spend a lot of time hanging out with Mike Price back in Pullman?:)

[sachmo71]

1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

"Front Office Fantasy Sports? Is that right?"

2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

"My husband's favorite hat smells so bad, it's an asshat."

3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

"Good for you?"

4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

"Sole-cizmik"

5. Name five football terms.

"Flag on the play, offsides, roughing the kicker, touchdown, defense."

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Swaggs
Wow...WSUCougar's wife is funnier than him. ;)
OUCH.

Originally posted by BishopMVP
Spend a lot of time hanging out with Mike Price back in Pullman? ;)
OUCHx2.

[McSweeny]

more from my girlfriend

She already answered one back on page one

2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

who put the asshat on the cat?

3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

what the fuck?

4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

Editor's note: this is a good one....

soul-ass-iz-um

5. Name five football terms

tackle, sack, first and ten, quarterback, and running man

Editor's note: running man?

[mckerney]

Yeah, you remember the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie The Running Man, don't you.

Wait, that didn't have anything to do with football? :confused:

[WussGawd]

Responses from Mrs. Gawd.

>(1) Define "text sim."

Text based simulation game

>(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer
>gaming.

Completely oblivious accentuated with loud cheers, guffaws, curses and the
occasional race into the room I'm in to tell me about a real great
(insert something here).

>(3) Are you hot?

No, the A/C is running.

>(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

Not yet.

[NYFAN]

<<What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

"Front Office Fantasy Sports? Is that right?">>

Ummm....

F- Front
O- Office
F- Fantasy
C- Sports

blonde eh? hehehe

[Kodos]

1. "That's not a real word."

2. "You rock back and forth like RainMan when you're playing PS2. And you move your feet according to what you're doing."

3. "Yeah."

4. "Yes, I think so. I've heard of the big, giant one."

Oh, and FOFC stands for "Fuck Off, Fire Chief."

[Kodos]

Today's questions for the womenfolk:

1. What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?
See above.
2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

My boss was being a real asshat today.
3. What would your reaction be if your husband/partner enthusiastically exclaimed "I just got a wigfecta!"

Huh?
4. Pronounce the word "Solecismic."

So Le size mick.

5. Name five football terms.

Touchdown, field goal, um, um, offsides, false start, and encroachment. And safety. (She went for the extra point! I'm so proud!)

[GoldenEagle]

While I am not married yet but I am kinda close, so I asked my girl the questions.

1. those little sim city people, the texts they write

2. totally focused and uncommunicative and he drools a tad bit

3. definanlty not (although I disagree)

4. Ive eaten squid before, does that count?

[Cards4ever]

Originally posted by sachmo71
2. Use the word "asshat" in a sentence.

"My husband's favorite hat smells so bad, it's an asshat."




Must be the Dallas Stars logo on it! :D

[sachmo71]

Originally posted by NYFAN
<<What does "FOFC" stand for, in the context of the internet?

"Front Office Fantasy Sports? Is that right?">>

Ummm....

F- Front
O- Office
F- Fantasy
C- Sports

blonde eh? hehehe

She caught that one after I had already posted it! She wanted me to "erase it". BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!


Cards,

Eat poop, sir. :D

[Cards4ever]

The masked man fights back!

[superbama]

(1) Define "text sim."

"what the hell are you asking me for? Some kinda computer language I guess."

(2) Describe your husband/partner's behavior when he is computer gaming.

"Zoned out/ Unavailable. Slightly perturbed."

(3) Are you hot?

"what the hell?"

(4) Have you heard of the collosal squid?

"You trying have sex with me?"


Damn we sound like an old couple.

[WSUCougar]

New batch of questions for the FOFC wives:

1. The answer is “cocky and funny.” What’s the question?

2. The term “dola” is used frequently at FOFC, usually as a header at the top of a post. What do you think it means?

3. What does CM stand for, and why are there four of them?

4. Describe the following people based purely upon their screen-names:

a. Skydog
b. Fritz
c. Quiksand
d. HornsManiac
e. scooper

5. Word association for the following screen-names – what first comes to mind?

a. Marmel
b. Swaggs
c. Kodos
d. JeeberD
e. Subby

[Alan T]

[21:23] Turlos: 1. The answer is “cocky and funny.” What’s the question?

[21:25] anaedream: What is Alan whining he can actually ride a motorcycle just like all his friends.
[21:25] Turlos: 2. The term “dola” is used frequently at FOFC, usually as a header at the top of a post. What do you think it means?

[21:27] anaedream: You know I could think of something really cute to make up, because the truth is I really don't know what it means, but you know what.. I'm too tired to think of something cute and funny. Sorry
[21:27] Turlos: 3. What does CM stand for, and why are there four of them?

[21:30] anaedream: Can I phone a friend? - ummm... you know.. these are getting harder and harder every week. :P Can we stick to the somewhat nerdy techy geek stuff that I atleast have a chance at?
[21:30] Turlos: 4. Describe the following people based purely upon their screen-names:

a. Skydog
b. Fritz
c. Quiksand
d. HornsManiac
e. scooper

[21:31] anaedream: a.) Skydog - a wannabe fighter pilot
[21:31] anaedream: b.) Some one bad with electronics
[21:32] anaedream: c.) Someone who dates way too many girls at once.
[21:33] anaedream: d.) (See answer C but with the addition) - ... and gets away with it
[21:33] anaedream: e.) a real pooper
[21:33] Turlos: 5. Word association for the following screen-names – what first comes to mind?

a. Marmel
b. Swaggs
c. Kodos
d. JeeberD
e. Subby

[21:34] anaedream: a.)Schmarmel
[21:34] anaedream: b.)Curtains
[21:34] anaedream: c.)WARCRAFT 3!
[21:34] anaedream: d.) Peebers?
[21:34] anaedream: e.) Dommie

[WSUCougar]

1. The answer is “cocky and funny.” What’s the question? Who is Chris Rock?

2. The term “dola” is used frequently at FOFC, usually as a header at the top of a post. What do you think it means? Someone at FOFC wants a cola but has a cold.

3. What does CM stand for, and why are there four of them? Curt Meyer, because one is not enough.

4. Describe the following people based purely upon their screen-names:

a. Skydog = someone with a goatee that looks like Snoopy (scarf & googles)
b. Fritz = Felix the Cat
c. Quiksand = a chunky guy dressed in fatigues who’s a lifetime member of the Star Trek fan club
d. HornsManiac = Hank Hill (King of the Hill)
e. scooper = Rin & Stimpy

5. Word association for the following screen-names – what first comes to mind?

a. Marmel = a cross between a marmoset and a malo-bar (My personal favorite!)
b. Swaggs = shag-a-rrific
c. Kodos = Kang and…
d. JeeberD = saying “jeebers” with a southern accent
e. Subby = chubby, snubby, wubby

[tucker342]

The one describing(sp?) Quiksand is great:D