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thesloppy
05-27-2003, 10:23 AM
Time to revive a classic topic from days gone by. Weigh in with your favorite computer generated player names.

My two semi-recent favorites off the top of my head are a 350 lb. center named Oscar Mayer, and a franchise QB named Hunter Cash. The latter didn't strike me as funny until after his eightieth restructure, after throwing bails of money his way AGAIN, and realizing his name read "Cash Hunter" on the roster.

fantastic flying froggies
05-27-2003, 10:42 AM
Along similar lines as Cash Hunter, I once had a fullback named Jumbo Money, who requested, you guessed it, lots of money...

Ryche
05-27-2003, 10:54 AM
The star receiver on my current Baltimore dynasty is named Mercury Mills. He has the speed to match his name, averaging 18 yards per catch his first 4 seasons.

Pyser
05-27-2003, 02:14 PM
Noah Rexin.

OZ
05-27-2003, 05:45 PM
Originally posted by thesloppy
My two semi-recent favorites off the top of my head are a 350 lb. center named Oscar Mayer, and a franchise QB named Hunter Cash. The latter didn't strike me as funny until after his eightieth restructure, after throwing bails of money his way AGAIN, and realizing his name read "Cash Hunter" on the roster.

I know a real guy named "Hunter Cashdollar"...

:rolleyes:

kiwiLB57
05-27-2003, 10:47 PM
Not really that relevant, but I created a TE in an OPU called "Smokin' Joe Dawson".

He was listed as "probable, return unknown" for ages with Tobacco Withdrawal Syndrome.

That rocked my world.

kiwiDE57

Noble_Platypus
05-27-2003, 11:04 PM
Had a guy on my team named Terry Taute. I changed his last name to Tate and added Terible to his first name. Now I have Terrible Terry Tate playing for me, the office linebacker. WOO WOO, THE PAIN TRAIN IS COMMING!

kiwiLB57
05-27-2003, 11:21 PM
In my current OPU, I picked up a fourth RB who was totally crap. He will be permanently inactive and will stay on the team for as long as I can convince him that collecting the veterans minimum for doing nothing is better than leaving and never being on another team again.

I signed the player because the player had my first and middle name initials (instead of a first name) and my surname, spelt the way that my family spells it which is against convention...

If only he had been even half decent...

kiwiDE57

TroyF
05-28-2003, 12:21 AM
Originally posted by Pyser
Noah Rexin.

:(

I get teary eyed seeing that name. :(

Noah was a real baby. Jim's nephew I believe. Died much too early.

TroyF

Solecismic
05-28-2003, 04:52 AM
Poor kid. He was born in pretty severe trouble. Normally, I'm sure the head nurse would try and talk the parents out of a name that ensures a lifetime of teasing. But the birth was such a sad event and Noah had to spend his first few weeks in intensive care, so I'm guessing the nurse just didn't want to burden them any more. Believe me, even those in the family had quite a few giggles over their choice of names.

Noah beat a lot of odds, and almost made it to his second birthday. Sadly, just when they were starting to hope that he'd turned the corner and would have a normal life, he died of a staph infection after the last in a series of surgeries to correct the problems with his heart. That was about two years ago.

On a much happier note, my wife's sister-in-law gave birth to a completely healthy boy last month. His name is Jonah Rexin. A little harder to tease about that name, though thankfully he's almost certain to reach that age when his classmates will do everything they can to find a way.

During the height of Noah's medical problems, they became friends with the family of Eric Hicks of the Kansas City Chiefs, whose infant daughter made it through several heart surgeries of her own (and is now doing quite well). Hicks is quite active in the Kansas City community, including sponsorship of the Hicks for Hearts Foundation. It is not known whether Hicks has even heard of Front Office Football.

TroyF
05-28-2003, 10:16 AM
Jim,

Great story. I'm glad they had another one and things are going better. Why do I suddenly feel sad that I traded Eric Hicks in my fantasy football league? :)

TroyF

Pyser
05-28-2003, 12:48 PM
Oh, sorry Jim. I knew Noah was a real name (which, sadly, makes it even funnier), but i didn't remember the circumstances regarding why he made it into the game.

Didnt mean to offend, if i did.

sooner333
05-28-2003, 01:26 PM
Remember in the original names thread years ago on the old board when someone had Mohammad Bernstein??? That was classic.

Solecismic
05-29-2003, 03:26 AM
No offense at all, Pyser. Thought people might be interested to know they had a new baby. It was a funny name. Probably funnier to know someone actually had it, out of the context of their hardship.

I just talked to Johnathan (my wife's brother) tonight. They're doing fine - just headed into that sixth week when it seems the little ones cry non-stop.

Fritz
05-29-2003, 05:39 AM
Originally posted by Solecismic
No offense at all, Pyser. Thought people might be interested to know they had a new baby. It was a funny name. Probably funnier to know someone actually had it, out of the context of their hardship.

I just talked to Johnathan (my wife's brother) tonight. They're doing fine - just headed into that sixth week when it seems the little ones cry non-stop.

Good for them! Glad to hear things are doing well for your family.

Noble_Platypus
05-31-2003, 05:50 PM
Jackie Kevorkian OLB

Ryche
06-16-2003, 10:06 AM
This is a new one for me...there is a running back available in my 2020 draft named Vinny Testaverde Jr. Not sure if the computer did that intentionally or not.

thesloppy
08-28-2003, 02:48 AM
My new pride and joy:

http://www.chessesteak.com/stuff/harry.jpg

cuervo72
08-28-2003, 10:03 AM
I just started up a career with the Frederick Tequilas. My last pick in the dispersal draft? Fred Frederick, RB.

alterra
08-30-2003, 01:07 AM
I once had a nose tackle named Horse Belly Baump.

Tex Schramm
08-30-2003, 02:14 AM
No...the best name by far is a wide receiver I had named Magic Mouth Palmateer.

cuervo72
09-02-2003, 07:00 AM
Lawrence Phillips just resurfaced as a FB for the Columbus Explorers in my new career. :)

Bee
09-02-2003, 07:14 AM
Originally posted by Ryche
This is a new one for me...there is a running back available in my 2020 draft named Vinny Testaverde Jr. Not sure if the computer did that intentionally or not.

I believe that is intentional, the game occasionally takes a former player and produces a Jr.