Advice Please

[miami_fan]

Tomorrow, I am chaperoning my son's 8th grade class end of year field trip to Main Event. For those unfamiliar, Main Event is some version of Dave and Busters. Due to the bus driver shortage, the chaperones and other volunteers will be driving the students to the venue. This is not my first time chaperoning field trips for the school. It is not my first time driving students for a field trip. I show up, then tell me who I am accountable for and off we go. I have not even been guaranteed to have my own son. The only time I have 100% known who I would have ahead was when my wife asked if I would take one of her former students in my group. The kid has major anger issues and they were not sure about assigning him to someone else.

This morning, my son texted me asking if I would take my wife's vehicle which is larger for the field trip tomorrow instead of my own. I said sure. He then asked if I would mind taken two other kids with us since we are taken the larger vehicle. Even though that would bring me to a total of six including him, I laughed as I acknowledged the setup and agreed. A few minutes later, I get a call from the assistant principal asking if I was ok with taking the extra kids with me. After I say it was no problem, she begins to explain that the kids identify as gay and she just want to make sure I was aware. I stop her mid conversation and let her know that I don't care and it has no relevance on me taking them to Main Event. After about five seconds of dead air, she said thank you and hung up the phone.

I am struggling as to what I should do. This feels like something that needs to be addressed but I don't want my addressing it to fall back on the kids or their families.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I am struggling as to what I should do. This feels like something that needs to be addressed but I don't want my addressing it to fall back on the kids or their families.

My gut reaction is that this had been the center of an issue(s) already and they were trying to avoid a subsequent issue.

This close to the event I doubt they wanted to lose another committed driver (which is what I suspect happened to create the need to switch up) and might have just been trying to prevent that.

[RainMaker]

I am going to assume another parent/chaperone had an issue and that's why they asked you. I don't think you need to do anything else unless I'm reading the situation wrong.

[miked]

I think he is talking about privacy concerns (maybe)? It is not very appropriate for an administrator calling other parents and giving away sensitive information.

[Flasch186]

inappropriate for it to have been mentioned

BUT

I feel for the leaders/teachers/administrators in the current environment and mental gymnastics they're having to go through right now just to do their job.

Some parent blew a gasket when they might'be thought the kid was gay and now she felt the need to get out in front of it to avoid, perhaps, embarassing a kid etc.

Sucks...

[NobodyHere]

Is the the assistant principal gay?

Is she hot?

[stevew]

I thought Main Event was a strip club for a long time.

[korme]

I thought Main Event was kinda like Jack Rabbit Slim's but everyone is dressed up as Kenny Mayne

[Lathum]

My assumption is she thinks she is protecting and doing what is right for these kids while not realizing how amazingly inappropriate it is to out them like that. I probably would let it go.

[Swaggs]

I don't think you need to act any further on it. You told her that you did not care and that it would have no relevance on you transporting the kid. My guess is that they are trying to avoid a situation where cars pull up, kids gather around, and a parent refuses to take a kid and makes a scene.

I guess you could have said, "Thanks for letting me know - I generally frown upon anyone having sex in my vehicle, so I wouldn't anticipate any problems."

[GrantDawg]

I guess you could have said, "Thanks for letting me know - I generally frown upon anyone having sex in my vehicle, so I wouldn't anticipate any problems."
That's the response.

[HomerSimpson98]

I don't think you need to act any further on it. You told her that you did not care and that it would have no relevance on you transporting the kid. My guess is that they are trying to avoid a situation where cars pull up, kids gather around, and a parent refuses to take a kid and makes a scene.

I guess you could have said, "Thanks for letting me know - I generally frown upon anyone having sex in my vehicle, so I wouldn't anticipate any problems."


Hmmm... but we can only assume that the principal knew it was the wife's car and not "my car", so there is an out there.

[RainMaker]

inappropriate for it to have been mentioned

BUT

I feel for the leaders/teachers/administrators in the current environment and mental gymnastics they're having to go through right now just to do their job.

Some parent blew a gasket when they might'be thought the kid was gay and now she felt the need to get out in front of it to avoid, perhaps, embarassing a kid etc.

Sucks...

That's how I see it too. Probably inappropriate to mention it but also trying to avoid a bad scene.

[albionmoonlight]

She said that the kids identify as gay.

They may be openly gay, so she wouldn't be outing them at all in that case.

[JPhillips]

I'd have to know more about the person and the situation. I can see how this could be a kind way to protect the students, or a way to protect their job, or a way to ostracize the students.

[flere-imsaho]

I thought you couldn't say "gay" in Florida? Or did that not go into effect yet?

[Lathum]

I guess the only stink I would make is if it is a situation where another parent refused to take them in their car that parent should never be allowed to volunteer at any school function again. would it be OK to refuse to take black kids? Latino kids? etc...

[Toddzilla]

Also, they likely wanted you to be aware in case there could be any bullying issues, but the AP is an incompetent fool

[miami_fan]

I appreciate all the comments. I read most of them before I left this morning but I did not get a chance to respond. My issues were twofold really.

First, re: identity. If this is something that I as a chaperone needed to be aware of, I probably should have known it 2-3 months ago when I chaperoned the previous field trip right? Or maybe even last week when I was on campus assisting with the field day events? I did think about the bully potential but shouldn't I know about the kids doing the bullying as well if not primarily? Yes, it did not help that I instantly replace "gay" with "biracial" and wondered if the same was being said about my kid to others. Finally, I did not even get the names of the students. That was the only descriptor.

The second issue revolved around privacy. Not my issue, the administration's issue. Anytime you try to get any information from the school, they can't give you that information due to privacy concerns. You want to know who in your child's class just tested positive for COVID? Sorry we can't tell you due to privacy. Want to know more about the bomb threat that the school sent out a text about? Nope. We can't say anything about that due to privacy concerns. Your child is injured by another student? They can tell you that your child was injured by another student but tell you who that student was. I brought up the kid with the anger issues because the administration could not and did not tell about those issues. I know about it because he was my wife's student and she kept in touch with the child's mother.

Now for the rest of the story. I did mentioned my concern to the assistant principal this morning. The short version of what she said was that she did not mean it in a negative way. She just wanted to let me know in case I saw them holding hands or engaged in other acts of PDA. I left it right there. It felt like BS when she said it. It feels more like BS after spending the day watching the interaction between them and the rest of the class. If holding hands was the concern, I should have been given a list of names one of which would have been my own child.