I miss the little smurf. Last post in September 2009.

Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?

What kind of question is that? Wait, by punch one out you mean #2 and not... something more right?

Maybe he meant 'rub' one out?

Depends - do you work in the dairy section of a grocery store?

Rubbing one out, yes that's wrong! Taking a deuce, no way. That's my amateur opinion.

i'd rub one out to lesley stahl.

Yeah, I meant #3. Sorry but having a big screened smart phone with wifi and google images and a stall...it's on.

I was in a Whataburger in Sausalito, CA, and this guy came in to a stall next to mine and all I heard him saying, in a loud whisper, was "Oh, good God Almighty. Oh good God Almighty." And the funniest thing was that I heard him making deals with God: "Oh, God, if you get this out of me....."

I think the guy was in so much pain that he forgot everything else that was going on and to heck with anyone else that could hear him.

This belongs here...

Also belonging here, an explanation of who the hell those guys are.

A shit band?

That's a crappy reply.

Flush you.

the Bauer shirt made me think of hockey players, the Staal brothers maybe. *rim shot*

Heh.

FM

I'm breaking up.

Do you mean pinching off?

Just drop it. This is starting to stink.

We have a winner

Twice last week my fellow female coworkers have forgotten to flush the toilet. I'm appalled at the way some women leave the restroom... seriously. Paper towels all over the floor, toilets left unflushed, water all over the sink. It's not that hard to pick up paper towels that accidentally fall on the ground.

Sounds like some guys got into your bathroom.

Very possible I posted this already in this thread...but from living in college dorms, where the bathrooms would only be cleaned daily during the week...by the end of the weekend, the girls' bathroom was a complete abomination compared to the guys'.

Aah, I fondly recall the upstairs bathroom in the office I interned in a few summers ago. The building was ancient, so it was exempt from the ADA requirement of handicap access to the second floor. But this bathroom was added as part of a renovation. Since it was put in place after ADA, the new upstairs bathroom had to be made handicapped-accessible... even though the second floor wasn't accessible.

Bad lighting in the Lady's Room so couldn't take a pic of the splash of water on the sink counter or mirror. And I'll spare the toilet pic.

Looks like a trail. Maybe because of the bad lighting they wanted to make sure they didn't get lost?

I hope someone was in one of the stalls and panicked when they heard your phone snapping pictures.

Hmm, certainly not the work of a man as they are not torn, crumpled and used. They are also organized neatly on the side of the room and not mashed into the floor dead and center.

All in all, that is a mythically clean bathroom. At least compared to my experiences with the men's bathroom.

I have it on mute... no one will ever know :devil:

We had a floor pee-er in our office in the urinals. He obviously overestimated the length of his appendage and stood too far away, because every day there were puddles of pee on the floor around the urinals. It was gross, it's not fun standing in someone's pee several times a day.

Thankfully one of the guys quit several months ago and just like magic, the floor pee stopped. Guess I know who it was.

My wife's former office had a "Phantom Pooper" who would semi-regularly drop a deuce on the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. My wife is in HR and had to do the investigation into this...not one of her more fun investigations.

omg, wtf is wrong with people?

This thread makes me miss HA.

Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.

That sounds like you almost needed to do a mid-push flush to prevent the clogging.

I can't believe I'm asking this, but...there's no story behind this? Taco Bell? Oat Bran Pretzels? One of those "cleansing" products?

lol

Look familiar?

Fuck.

So.. I walk into the bathroom today at work and a guy is walking out of the stall and I walk to the urinal (which is behind a wall divider to the sinks). I'm taking a piss, and I hear odd sounds coming from the sink. I thought he was brushing his teeth or something. When I'm done, I zip up and go to the sink to wash up. The guy has soap up to his elbows, is hunched down in the sink with his arms laying in the sink lathering up like he is going into surgery like Hawkeye. I turn the water on and I'm rinsing up and he pauses, looks at me and gives me a dirty look and sighs. Not thinking much of it, I turn the water off, grab a paper towel, dry up and start to walk out the door when the guy mouths off about me needing to wash up.

Dude.. seriously?

I hope he was a germophobe because if not, I seriously do not want to know why the hell he needed to scrub up to the elbows after coming out of the stall.

He probably thought you were also fisting Goatse.

I have a "surgeon" in my building as well. He must spend 5 minutes washing his hands, and arms, and then fiddling in front of the mirror before leaving the washroom. Maybe he's just staring in the mirror at those who are going to the washroom.

Check out this thesis paper on "The Urinal Problem"...


http://people.scs.carleton.ca/~krana...ers/urinal.pdf

Why do hot farts smell more?

Fart gas is one of two things--swallowed air or gas produced by gut bacteria. Swallowed air has no real smell. Gut bacteria farts stink. Cooler farts are more likely to be swallowed air. Hot farts are more likely to have been produced by gut bacteria.

So, I head into the restroom to take a leak today. Both of the urinals were occupied, so I go into the stall right next to them.

As I am standing there doing my business, the guy at the urinal next to my stall finishes and someone else steps up to the plate. As this dude is stepping up, he steps on my foot.

Dude! I'm in the stall, my foot is about 8 inches or so inside the stall and this guy steps on my foot. How is that shit possible?

I'm not clicking the link but that's some Larry Craig shit right there I assume.

Winner!

SI

I need a wall socket at the stall at work for as much as I'm using it today. My stomach is not enjoying lunch.