I'll take my lone 8 year old with a fudgesicle in here over any number of badgers you wish to provide...

What if it's this guy?

I think the morale of a group of eight years olds would break pretty quickly when confronted with the sight of a badger ripping the intestines out of one of their friends.

Don't ever let your wife/girlfriend ever see this. E.V.E.R.

Funny as hell though.

Within a week? Pfft.

/makes dismissive wanking motion

http://www.9wsyr.com/news/local/stor...s9PtWJuVw.cspx

Two accused of running up bar tab on corpse's ATM card









DENVER (AP) - Two men accused of driving around with a dead friend, using his ATM card and visiting a strip club are charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation.

Robert Jeffrey Young and Mark Rubinson are free on bond but they couldn't be reached for comment Thursday.

It's unclear how Jeffrey Jarrett died, but the men are not charged in his death.

The Denver Post reports that in a less amusing real-life version of the film "Weekend at Bernie's," an affidavit accuses Young and Rubinson of leaving Jarrett's body in the car while they drank at a bar on his tab Aug. 27.

Investigators allege the men stopped at a restaurant, returned Jarrett's body to his home, used Jarrett's ATM card and withdrew $400 at a strip club before reporting Jarrett's death.

What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend and dies on you?

Bernie does.

I would hope my friends do this when I die. Maybe I should put it in writing somewhere - but I don't know if that would protect them from the "abusing a corpse" charge.

I gotta wonder if that is a felony. In general, I have no trouble calling corpse abuse a felony, but for these guy's sakes, I'm pulling for a misdemeanor.

That would be a helluva thing to have to show up on background checks for the rest of your life. "Corpse Abuse"...Well we're not hiring him.

And then they say, "Hold on a second. Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's? Don't pass on us just yet until you've seen that movie".

Woman Dies After Injecting Face With Hot Beef Fat - ABC News

Woman Dies After Injecting Face With Hot Beef Fat


ABC News’ Mikaela Conley reports:

An Illinois woman who injected hot beef fat into her face died Thursday of a bacterial infection soon after she administered the homemade cosmetic surgery. Oddly, doctors say the questionable injections had nothing to do with her death, which was deemed natural by Illinois’ Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office.

Janet Hardt, 63 of Homewood, Ill., boiled beef, extracted the fat and injected it into her face before she went to the hospital complaining that her face felt as if it was burning, according to ABC News’ Chicago affiliate WLS-TV.

The Chicago Sun-Times reported that Hardt had infections and scarring in her mouth and on her lips, but an autopsy declared her death was a result of peritonitis, an inflammation of the abdomen’s inner wall.

This bizarre story does not come without lessons, experts say.

“There are a lot people out there doing self-injections for wrinkles, but I don’t know of any medical associations that would recommend this,” said Dr. Phillip Haeck, president of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. “It’s not worth taking a chance with your face to try to save money when it could ultimately cost you a lot more money.”

Hardt reportedly injected her face with the beef fat several times, and she also underwent several legitimate plastic surgery procedures. Because she injected herself multiple times with the animal product, Haeck said she was at risk of developing an allergic reaction.

“One of the injections could cause the skin to erode or ulcerate,” said Haeck. “We know that injections of animal proteins do not cause systemwide failure, but it tends to cause local reactions. A lot of people who have allergic reactions to animal proteins will say that their face is burning like this woman did. That’s probably what was going on here.”

There's no way that's real!

She died giving herself a hot beef injection. NO. FUCKING. WAY.

POW! Right in the vagina...

Wow. This thread did not show up in the first 5 pages. Odd.

Anyway...

Sperm bank: Redheads need not apply - Health - Pregnancy - msnbc.com

"Our stock is about to explode..."

"I'll have two chicken fried steaks, a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, a pound of barbecue, three fajitas, a meat lover's pizza, a pint of ice cream and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts." Texas says, "that's it - no more last meal requests, you've ruined it for everyone".


Texas prisons end special last meals in executions - Yahoo! News

How come nobody asks to eat the electric chair?

Man Details Sexual Relationship With Dolphin

Your money quote:

Holy crap, that reads like an Onion interview/story.

I know I'm having a hard time getting laid, but, I think I'll stick to the internet, some slow jams and some Lubriderm.

I bet his book is selling like salmon cakes.

My friend noticed that the linked Amazon store, which is just an awful thing, says, "Customers who bought this item also bought: Chicken of the Sea Tuna Chunk Light Water, 5 Ounce Tins (Pack of 48)"

I heard it's a real page flipper.

If a dolphin ever came on to me, I imagine I'd have to tuna down.

Thank you thank you, I'll be here all weekend.

I thought most dolphins kept their emotions bottled up.

I heard that dolphins have bush now

You know the old saying... Blow hole or no hole.

Thanks, I almost got fired for laughing too loudly at work. :(

Ping Mr. Csonka.

He had bush on his face.

The headline isn't great, but the video is great


Hampton Couple Fights Off Intruder With Wrestling Moves, Statue - News Story - WPXI Pittsburgh

Found a better video from another station, must watch full screen

Is that like two in the bush?

'Toe Suck Fairy' arrested on new charges

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/...78Q38420110927

Some of my favorite parts (non-toe parts, that is):

Why?

Naked man harassing hikers in Mill Creek Canyon




I bolded my favorite part....as if that had any precedence here....


"Yes, he was almost naked...he had on a pair of 1984 Air Jordans.."

It's going to start getting pretty cold in Salt Lake City here real soon. I think shrinkage will be a factor.

Chilli contest leaves two in hospital | Pakistan | News | Newspaper | Daily | English | Online

I hope everyone who entered got a fresh pair of underpants just for signing up.

Dwarf tossing in Florida?

Lawmaker Files Bill to Repeal State Ban on Dwarf Tossing in Bars | NBC Miami

A Florida lawmaker has filed a bill that would repeal a state law prohibiting dwarf tossing in bars.

Rep. Ritch Workman of Melbourne filed House Bill 4063 on Monday.

"To me it's an archaic kind of Big Brother law that says, 'We don't like that activity,'" Workman told the Florida Current. "Well, there is nothing immoral or illegal about that activity. All we really did by passing that law was take away some employment from some little people."

The cringe-inducing activity was outlawed in 1989, when national controversy over dwarf tossing prompted the Legislature to ban it in bars for safety reasons, the Current reports.
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House Bill 4063 would repeal Florida Statute 561.665, which bans establishments who sell alcohol from activities "involving exploitation endangering the health, safety, and welfare of any person with dwarfism."

While at least one previous lawsuit filed by a little person sought to repeal the law for employment reasons, others including the president of Little People of America are opposed to the new bill.

"In general, if HB 4063 does threaten to undo the protection afforded people of short stature against dwarf tossing, we are concerned, and we would be against legislation," said Gary Arnold to the Current. "The ban on dwarf tossing protects the entire dwarf community."

Under the current statute, the state can fine or suspend the liquor license of bars that host dwarf tossing.


BTW, the rules for dwarf tossing. http://www.minbu.connectfree.co.uk/dwarf.htm

It really isn't possible to parody some tea party types.

Depending on the jurisdiction, that might actually be relevant to what charges the fella would face if captured.

Goddamn dwarf-tossing nazis!

I like this article from a few days before the contest. The foreshadowing is amazing.

http://news.scotsman.com/edinburgh/C...ing.6845939.jp

Garry: The generator's gone.
MacReady: Any way we can we fix it?
Garry: It's "gone", MacReady.

The scrap metal industry really needs some cleaning up...