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-   -   How to (successfully) hit on a coworker. (http://forums.operationsports.com/fofc//showthread.php?t=97932)

Flasch186 10-05-2022 06:58 PM

This took a turn


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NobodyHere 10-05-2022 06:59 PM

Also I'm concerned that a thread about my love life has turned towards Dahmer.

Are you all trying to tell me something?

NobodyHere 10-05-2022 07:04 PM

Also I would like to mention that this thread is one year old now.

NobodyHere 10-05-2022 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3347132)
Do you ever go to trivia night at a bar? Maybe get a tram of coworkers to go do that.


We agreed to a trivia night two weeks from now. So don't let it ever be said I don't listen to you guys.

sovereignstar v2 10-05-2022 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379568)
Also I'm concerned that a thread about my love life has turned towards Dahmer.

Are you all trying to tell me something?


You're going to have to eat her one way or another.

NobodyHere 10-05-2022 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovereignstar v2 (Post 3379572)
You're going to have to eat her one way or another.


She did invite to a Farmer's Market tomorrow. And I'm sure there's a very clever joke that ties in to your post but I can't think of it.


But on a more personal/serious note, is it good or bad that I looked up a video on the proper way of eating a woman?

sovereignstar v2 10-05-2022 07:28 PM

Was Bryant McKinnie in it?

PilotMan 10-05-2022 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovereignstar v2 (Post 3379572)
You're going to have to eat her one way or another.


clapclapclap

PilotMan 10-05-2022 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379573)
She did invite to a Farmer's Market tomorrow. And I'm sure there's a very clever joke that ties in to your post but I can't think of it.


But on a more personal/serious note, is it good or bad that I looked up a video on the proper way of eating a woman?


You're going to want to be really careful with the way you word that for Mr Google. lol

sabotai 10-05-2022 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379573)
But on a more personal/serious note, is it good or bad that I looked up a video on the proper way of eating a woman?


Ok, you're gonna want to remember to delete your browser and search history before she sets foot in your place. Just to be on the safe side.

NobodyHere 10-05-2022 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabotai (Post 3379582)
Ok, you're gonna want to remember to delete your browser and search history before she sets foot in your place. Just to be on the safe side.


Oh definitely, I was going to do that Friday. 20 years of Bachelor life would probably scare many a women.

JeeberD 10-05-2022 09:34 PM

I'm glad to hear that thanks are working out with Amber, because this...THIS...

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379097)
I'm told my boss didn't hire the HR person because she lacked the qualifications he was looking for in the position. So I'm free to hit on my coworker if necessary.


...this is not how it works.

Lathum 10-05-2022 09:42 PM

So wait, you googled how to orally please a woman?

Ksyrup 10-05-2022 09:47 PM

I preferred to Ask Jeeves.

PilotMan 10-05-2022 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3379593)
So wait, you googled how to orally please a woman?


Baby I'll clean the bathrooms works.

Edward64 10-05-2022 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup (Post 3379594)
I preferred to Ask Jeeves.


Had to look it up. It's ask.com now. Currently #8 with aol.com (!) at #6.

The Top 10 Search Engines Today

Lathum 10-05-2022 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PilotMan (Post 3379596)
Baby I'll clean the bathrooms works.


Ha!

Izulde 10-06-2022 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3379593)
So wait, you googled how to orally please a woman?


Clearly he hasn't seen the right movie, or he'd know the right method is the Tongue Tornado

Solecismic 10-06-2022 12:09 AM

Speaking of which, if it has been 20 years since you've had a female visit your place, you'd better take some time to clean bathrooms properly before she arrives. It's their number-one (and number-two, if necessary) test. Clean towels with no logos.

Then a thorough check of every room for any other sign of career bachelorhood (beer bottle collections, stacks of pizza boxes, etc). It's just like babyproofing when your baby first shows signs of being able to crawl, in that you're viewing your home from a different perspective.

Probably too late for a run to the furniture store, but if there's anything like deck chairs in front of the television, you might want to take emergency action.

Dahmer grew up in Bath (high-income suburb town north of Akron). I didn't know that until I moved out here - strange how Ohioans seem almost proud of this. I'm not sure I'd joke about that until the second date, though.

Lathum 10-06-2022 05:32 AM

I’m guessing she’s going to drug him then rob him.

Mota 10-06-2022 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379573)
She did invite to a Farmer's Market tomorrow. And I'm sure there's a very clever joke that ties in to your post but I can't think of it.


But on a more personal/serious note, is it good or bad that I looked up a video on the proper way of eating a woman?


It's all about the clitoris. Explore, and most of all, listen. They tell you what feels good. :)

HomerSimpson98 10-06-2022 09:17 AM

lol this thread is great

NobodyHere 10-06-2022 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3379610)
I’m guessing she’s going to drug him then rob him.


If I don't post anything by monday morning then come after me.

Ksyrup 10-06-2022 10:36 AM

You? We're coming for what's left!

bhlloy 10-06-2022 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3379610)
I’m guessing she’s going to drug him then rob him.


How much is the going rate for a kidney? Has it gone up due to inflation?

Izulde 10-06-2022 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bhlloy (Post 3379628)
How much is the going rate for a kidney? Has it gone up due to inflation?


It's only a few thousand for most kidney donors, who are overseas. The going rate is $100,000 - $200,000 for a black market transplant

NobodyHere 10-08-2022 07:05 PM

Sorry FOFC, you're not getting my organs this week.

Lathum 10-08-2022 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379948)
Sorry FOFC, you're not getting my organs this week.


Did she get your organ?

NobodyHere 10-08-2022 07:19 PM

She did get a lot of my tongue.

Lathum 10-08-2022 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3379950)
She did get a lot of my tongue.


did your research pay off?

NobodyHere 10-09-2022 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3379953)
did your research pay off?


I'll just say that I got a double or triple yesterday instead of a home run and leave it at that.

Kodos 10-09-2022 04:27 PM

And here I am stuck bunting.

Lathum 10-09-2022 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos (Post 3380023)
And here I am stuck bunting.


I get 1 AB a week and after 15 years of marriage consider that a lot of playing time.

Ksyrup 10-09-2022 05:05 PM

HA! This thread continues to deliver.

NobodyHere 10-09-2022 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3380024)
I get 1 AB a week and after 15 years of marriage consider that a lot of playing time.


How's your average?

Flasch186 10-09-2022 06:46 PM

so NOW nobodyhere wants to play coy? riiiigggggghttt

NobodyHere 10-09-2022 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flasch186 (Post 3380035)
so NOW nobodyhere wants to play coy? riiiigggggghttt


I want to maintain *some* privacy in my life after all.

If you want to complain then post your notices on other peoples mailboxes.

Lathum 10-09-2022 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3380027)
How's your average?


Depends on how much I have drank

NobodyHere 10-09-2022 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3380038)
Depends on how much I have drank


I want full statistical breakdown

Mota 10-09-2022 07:05 PM

Wow, a little taste of the nookie, and now NobodyHere is ready to return the receipts!

Lathum 10-09-2022 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3380042)
I want full statistical breakdown


Well. Lets see- before children when we were younger it was probably 3 times a week. Our son was born after 2.5 years of marriage, so 120 week =360 times. The year after our kid was born was, infrequent, lets say every other week, so 26 times. After tat we tried for a second and had to do it almost every other day. Obviously have to account for travel, periods (not into vampire fantasy), etc..It took another 2 years, so lets say 3X a week =312 times. The year after kid 2 was born things obviously slow again, so lets say another 26 times. That brings us to 6.5 years. So we have another 8.5 years, 102 months, 408 weeks, so averaging once a week would be 408 more times. That makes a grand total of 1132 times wife and I have had sex.

So if say 5% of the time I am too shitty either to perform, I pass out, or she is like, dude, get off me, thats 57 times I have "struck out"

NobodyHere 10-09-2022 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3380045)
Well. Lets see- before children when we were younger it was probably 3 times a week. Our son was born after 2.5 years of marriage, so 120 week =360 times. The year after our kid was born was, infrequent, lets say every other week, so 26 times. After tat we tried for a second and had to do it almost every other day. Obviously have to account for travel, periods (not into vampire fantasy), etc..It took another 2 years, so lets say 3X a week =312 times. The year after kid 2 was born things obviously slow again, so lets say another 26 times. That brings us to 6.5 years. So we have another 8.5 years, 102 months, 408 weeks, so averaging once a week would be 408 more times. That makes a grand total of 1132 times wife and I have had sex.

So if say 5% of the time I am too shitty either to perform, I pass out, or she is like, dude, get off me, thats 57 times I have "struck out"


Are you listening to this Jim? This could be the start of your next simulation hit!

Izulde 10-09-2022 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3380045)
Well. Lets see- before children when we were younger it was probably 3 times a week. Our son was born after 2.5 years of marriage, so 120 week =360 times. The year after our kid was born was, infrequent, lets say every other week, so 26 times. After tat we tried for a second and had to do it almost every other day. Obviously have to account for travel, periods (not into vampire fantasy), etc..It took another 2 years, so lets say 3X a week =312 times. The year after kid 2 was born things obviously slow again, so lets say another 26 times. That brings us to 6.5 years. So we have another 8.5 years, 102 months, 408 weeks, so averaging once a week would be 408 more times. That makes a grand total of 1132 times wife and I have had sex.

So if say 5% of the time I am too shitty either to perform, I pass out, or she is like, dude, get off me, thats 57 times I have "struck out"


Which means it would take a virgin having sex every day for 3 years, 1 month, and 1 week to equal Lathum +wife's numbers

cuervo72 10-09-2022 07:29 PM

I still just spend a lot of time in the cage like I always have.

NobodyHere 10-09-2022 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuervo72 (Post 3380050)
I still just spend a lot of time in the cage like I always have.


You could be useful in the future.

Lathum 10-09-2022 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde (Post 3380049)
Which means it would take a virgin having sex every day for 3 years, 1 month, and 1 week to equal Lathum +wife's numbers


That sounds horrible....

Ksyrup 10-09-2022 07:43 PM

To keep it simple, it used to be 2/3s now it's 1/3.

cuervo72 10-09-2022 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3380051)
You could be useful in the future.


Only if I get traded.

PilotMan 10-09-2022 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 3380045)
Well. Lets see- before children when we were younger it was probably 3 times a week. Our son was born after 2.5 years of marriage, so 120 week =360 times. The year after our kid was born was, infrequent, lets say every other week, so 26 times. After tat we tried for a second and had to do it almost every other day. Obviously have to account for travel, periods (not into vampire fantasy), etc..It took another 2 years, so lets say 3X a week =312 times. The year after kid 2 was born things obviously slow again, so lets say another 26 times. That brings us to 6.5 years. So we have another 8.5 years, 102 months, 408 weeks, so averaging once a week would be 408 more times. That makes a grand total of 1132 times wife and I have had sex.

So if say 5% of the time I am too shitty either to perform, I pass out, or she is like, dude, get off me, thats 57 times I have "struck out"



I can 'safely' say that in nearly 24 years of being together that we're well over 2000. Yes, our kids will need therapy, and yes, they've all heard us having sex. It's a bit of a running joke.

Solecismic 10-09-2022 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 3380046)
Are you listening to this Jim? This could be the start of your next simulation hit!


Huh? You guys are talking about second base and third base and all sorts of sample size abuses.

That's baseball. Red Barber died thirty years ago. There's nothing left to be said.

Such a simple sport that you need all sorts of fancy graphics just to sit through one of those endless games. Just one dude trying to throw a ball past another dude. And apparently, once the numbers are crunched, the dude throwing the ball doesn't even have all that much to do with the outcome anyway.

The game engine wouldn't require a thousand lines of code. Spare me.


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