Has this ever happened to you?
 

I went to Taco Bell this evening. As I was standing at the counter waiting to receive my food, I was called over by this teenage boy who appeared to be seated with his parents and little sister. I turned around to look at him, and he asked, "Is there an adult bookstore around here?"

Why the hell would I know if there's an adult bookstore around here? Do I look like I would know that? Has he been reading FOFC? What gives?

no

Maybe he knows rksmurf and recognized you from the real doll.

Had he been with a group of friends instead of his family, would you have given him the information?

I can't remember the last time I went to a Taco Bell and wasn't asked where the nearest adult bookstore was.

Your Pumpy.

Yes.

well slap my fro

Yes - the armful of pr0n likely had a lot to do with it.

Well, that or the gigantic boner.

Did he ask if he could do that too? That would be over the line.

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not...

Well, did you tell him?

Did you grow the mustache back? If so, it's probably the stache.

Don't lie Pumpy. You know I saw you there, with your dick in that hole.

Shorty knows where to get his porn hookup.

I'm troubled that you would know Pumpy's dick if you saw it through a hole.

I've only been to Taco Bell once, and believe it or not, something very similar to this did not happen to me.

I'm not troubled by that.

Did you direct him to your van?

Were you carrying a nerf and a toothbrush?

His sister was the one who really wanted to know... the parents just sent the brother over to ask.

Did you tell him you only read adult things in Braille?

His Pumpy?

Was his name Rizon?

Were you wearing a t-shirt with this logo?

There is one on Route 30 near Latrobe. Past the Mall and right after St. Vincent's college.

Just making an appearence in this thread.

I thought this kind of stuff only happened at White Castle, not high end establishments like Taco Bell.

cuz you look like a 70's porn star.. duh!

Look buddy, I am going to make typos from time to time and not use proper grammar, unless I read over my stuff to make sure I did it right. I know people may think differently around here but I didn't exactly pass up Harvard or Yale for A.C.T. CDL Training. :rant:

You're Pumpy. Better I hope? :D

I think it was because Pumpy was wearing his "I know where all the adult bookstores are around here" t-shirt.

You asked her for a taco.

What else could people think?

Were you driving this?

i have been asked to buy beer for kids, pawn video games for minors, even the occasional pack of sigs, but never the adult book store...

You had me at Taco bell.....

My first foray into this forum in, ohhh, 5-6 months or so, and I could not resist my return being implemented in a Pumpy thread.

Perhaps the reason he asked you about an adult book store is because you had a stack of adult books under your arm? Hmmmm?

hey wb romagoth

Thank you!!:)

Funny you show up today, I looked at my Netflix friends about 10 minutes ago and saw your name and thought, where is he.. and poof, here you are :)

Please don't think "where is Hornsmaniac"!

Nice to know someone missed me :cool:. Without hijacking Pumpy's thread, I will say that I saw your review for that Maria Carey movie a couple of months back; and I thought to myself why would you ever watch that???? :p

Where is Pumpy today? I missed his banter.....:D

He's looking for that bookstore.

Dare I ask, who is "Hornsmaniac"? :confused:

Probably scheduling new meetings and plowing accountants.

You mean he doesn't already know where it is? He probably lives in the basement, you know......"unpacking" new shipments.

No

He's cocky...yet still funny.

It's like Donnie... AND Marie.

You people are going to be sorry when I make a post that replies to every single comment made in this thread so far.

Dola

Welcome back, RomanHog.

You don't have the stones to do it! Your stones are in a jar by Kathy Griffin's bed.

ok, good, now reply to this one: WHERE'S MY SHOW DAMMIT?!

DO IT!

Right next to her stones.

no he just didn't!!!!

I'm already sorry. :(

does your thread have stairs?

http://www.rwbl.net/fofcwiki/index.p...le=Hornsmaniac

It's none of your business what is by my bed!

I just threw up in my mouth.

I like that.

welp I'm done

daaaaaaaaaaamn

Whoa, RomanHog? You may act like you don't care, but I know you are glad to have me back. :lol:

Yikes. I AM sorry I asked. I hope to never come close to that type of person, as I would probably have to ban myself from FOFC. :(

Now you know why I said 'no'.

I am glad to have you back, and I honestly mean that.

I'm going to reply to all the other stuff when I get home from work!

Awww....I missed you too Pumpy, just not in "that" kind of way. :D

I don't believe you. I bet it has happened to you at least twice.

I look nothing like that real doll. Well, maybe not exactly like it. OK, it even has a mustache. Shut up!

I ain't got no information!

You too?

My Pumpy?

The mother wasn't that hot.

He asked me if he could do something else to my fro. I have heard people refer to his request as "slapping" in the past, though.

I ain't got no information!

Yep. I sure did grow it back, and that's a pretty decent explanation.

Yeah, so my dick was in the mother's hole. Big deal.

You mean korme, right?

My dick is legendary and has been seen on all major television networks and two public access channels.

I don't believe that you've been to Taco Bell just once.

I'm not troubled by you. ;)

What van?

No, that's tomorrow.

The sister kept asking me questions about my dick, but I figured that that wasn't threadworthy.

Yes, and that was moments before I fondled his father's nipples.

My Pumpy.

How did you know?

Yes. It even said "$18" on it.

Oh, that place has a bookstore in it? I know what you're talking about, but I thought it had dancers or puppies in there.

Welcome!

I twice got fucked by an ape at White Castle, but I didn't think that that was threadworthy.

Thanks for noticing!

How dare you call me Pumpy! Do any Ivy League schools offer CDL training? I think that would be perfect for me.

Yeah, but it said that on the back of the shirt, and I don't know if he noticed that.

I didn't ask the little sister for shit.

Oh, that van.

You're hanging out in the wrong Taco Bell restaurants, dude.

Wanna use my toothbrush?

I don't know if I would call them adult books. They were the screenplays for "Porn Wars Episode I: The Phantom Anus" and "Titty Titty Gang Bang." Do screenplays count as books?

I was flossing in the other room. Sorry.

Also that.

If only you knew... ;)

This is a euphemism to mean that I was shitting myself, huh? You are exactly right!

Ummm... did she say that?

In the back of your pants!

I've done it three or four times in the past hour alone.

Ice cold.

He is so fucking done.

Don't be! I'll be right over, and I'll bring the tuning fork!!!

It is protected.

Hey, baby. Titties goin' nuts.

Whoops. Let me pull my pants back up.

Does this count as a ftb?

This is like an extra helping of Face the Board.

Edit to Add: Dang it MikeVic, beat me to it.

You pumpy are the only one that has proven to me that he has more random thoughts than I do and its probably becasue you have really nurtured this ability.

For this I offer you my friendship or what looks like a biscuit I found in the back of the refrigerator last week.

Of course there is a ten dollar shipping and handling charge for the biscuit like thing and the freindship can become dissolved by either party at any time for any reason.

Don't take this in a faggoty way butt I think I love you

After all, it had been on all the networks, like you said.


Did you make sure he didn't sneak up on you beforehand?

Too late.

Pumpy love is the best love until he punts you.

Thanks for all this. It is greatly appreciated. I only have one question.

Can the biscuit thing become dissolved?

Dola

I felt a little prick in my back, but I thought it was just my cousin playing "salad bar bebop" again.

Yes... he's very fickle. Except in Kathy Griffin's case.

uncalled for imo

He must have been a little too tall for you. Got you right in the tramp stamp, did he?

Well, see, he was standing on the little counter where they keep the sporks and taco sauces.

Maybe I'm sharing too fucking much now.

You can never share too much. That's the FOFC motto (I think).

I love that taco sauce counter... but now its tainted because I'll see little boys asking about adult bookstores every time I frequent the taco-y joy of The Bell. I has a sad. :(

I'm not sure now. I knew you would want it after the evening I had.

I live by myself so all I thought I kept in the refrigerator was water. I saw it through three glass selves. I had to move the emergency water (water bottles on the bottom shelf because there is no way in hell I am running out of refrigerated bottled water) to get to it. After moving all that I was getting hungry. I wasn't concentrating when I was opening it (I was thinking this is going to piss pumpy off and then realized he gets off all the time) thats when the smell hit me and I dropped it. There must of been some kind of meat in there. Oh I lied earlier, I also have a weiner dog and the little dick eat it before I could see what was in it. I would inspect his crap to find out but I'm not going to do that again. Actually my girlfriend is out of town so there is no one to do it.

Since I brought my girlfriend up, I have not seen her since last night. She was reading your responses and laughing. She loves guys that can make her laugh. Then all of sudden she said she had an out of town business meeting come up and left. I'm afraid after reading this thread she is going to go to your town and find guys that look like 70's porn stars until she finds one funny. What really has me worried is she is a short red head. Be gentle with her pumpy not all sterotypes are wrong.

Anyway after she left and what I am almost positive was a biscuit got ate, I was hungry and decided to go to the corner store to grab a bag of chips.
I thought what would pumpy want so I grabbed a slim jim that would make him happy enough where he also would want to be my friend. But on the way home I thought about my girl and how pumpy would satisfy her and I would never see her again so I ate the guaranteed friend maker.

She's not the only one that likes to laugh so the friendship offer is still out there, sorry if you wanted the biscuit with the mystery meat but I have some shredded paper that has to have some credit card information on them somewhere if you want that just let me know and don't forget about the shipping and handling.

This was awesome. Well done.

This was great!!

I'm not sure if I can say this in here, but I have a massive erection right now.

Edit: Seriously, turn on ABC. You'll see it.

Don't you mean until he "pumps you"?

In college I had high school kids ask me to buy them porn, but never simply for directiosn to the nearest place to buy porn.

Who the hell actually buys porn these days?

I just think it's funny that any kid can get pot, LSD, meth and other drugs with no problems at all, yet, getting beer and porn is amazingly difficult.

Oh wait, that's because it's sold in stores...never mind.

Yeah, and who in the world buys porn? I think someone needs to take Internet 101.

We missed it. Yes I made sure of that and yes my girl came back. I feel like such an idiot. I owe a big apology to everyone who has had their woman taken by pumpy for bringing that up without proof and just 99.9 percent certainty. I was thinking of getting you another slim jim, but we both now how that would end. Those things are just too dam good not to be eaten. And I already gave you something you wood appreciate more.

SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM

OK, hey, listen. I have something pretty important to say. I got home from work about 10 minutes ago and discovered my wife nibbling on some short redhead's titties. I dunno if this is your redhead, but it was quite a shock to me. So after I rubbed one out, I yelled at my wife and the redhead, but they ignored me.

So, uh, wanna hang out or something? At least until they're done?

Dola

Hmm... guess it wasn't your redhead, then.

I guess I owe pumpy an apology too because these women are attracted to him and he is not chasing after them. He just comes home and their in his bed, sometimes with his wife apparently.

Dola

Sorry to bring this back up, I was hoping it was over. But I can't find her anywhere and she didn't have a good excuse for her jaw being sore. I'm thinking there must be wormholes around the country that have a sign stating "Women, this way to be completely satisfied" that lead to your bed room where you and your woman await them.

Anyway I'm done with her, something is certainly up. I can deal with the cheating but I can't take the lying. She's bi and told me she didn't need women anymore because I had big man boobs. I lost 60 lbs recently and feel this might have contributed to this occurring, but she probably would have lied about something else. It stings a little but I can't stand a partner who makes things up or doesn't tell you whats going on.

This is all based on truth but slightly embellished. For example I can't get my girl to dig through dog crap, the only thing I'm good at getting her to do is inflate.

Stream-of-Consciousness at its best....

You know, you actually recently came up in another thread last week. I forget which one, though. I remember someone asked the same thing, and I checked and your last post was in February.

Well...wb! :)

For the record, TCY Junkie's girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend, perhaps) has amazing boobs. Thanks for playing. You get a copy of the "Pumpy is going to take your woman" home game.

Whoops. Looks like you've already got one!