Is this an everyday occurence? Were these just random mexicans? Is it like the day labor pickup, you just yell out "I need 9 for swimming!" and you let them fight to get into the truck?

Just curious...

About a week ago, I had a nasty cut on one of my fingers that became mildly infected and quite painful. Every time I wiped, it was very painful. I tried to wipe left handed, but it was so awkward that I just ended up enduring the pain.

The odd thing is that I am ambidexterous in some sports (I can throw fairly well left handed and I can bat from either side of the plate.)

Same here. I'm wizard-like with the left and right handed dribbling but I powered through the pain as well.

I honestly cant remember ever having to wipe lefty...

however, once, in my granpa's final weeks I had to help him wipe, while holding him up above a toilet at Mayo Clinic and it was a nightmare....However looking back on it, and us laughing (one of the last laughs we shared) I can't help, as gross as it sounds, to feel like the poo on his hands was part of the glue that bonded us together.

I'm a left-handed wiper, even though I'm a righty...which seems odd now that I read this thread.

you are a 1 percentile. a true freak of nature.

Ok, so I'm entering the handicapped stall ready to perch on top of the bowl and I spy a newspaper on the floor. My initial thought was "score!" and was about to pick it up and enjoy some literature. Then a little voice inside advised caution as I really don't know what kind of travels this newspaper has had or what kind of precipiation it has been subjected too. Sadly I didn't read the lifestyles section just begging to be read for fear of defecation residue.

What's your feeling on the newspaper leave behind? A score or avoid contact?

Avoid.

Avoid

Avoid, but use my foot to reposition the front page to where I can read parts of the articles from above.

Exactly.

Someone who leaves a newspaper behind, fully open, is a good man in my book.

Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.

I bring my own reading materials.

so you are comfortable taking the paper from the rail and opening it?

It could fall.

My first preference is reading material on my BlackBerry, but when that fails, I look for alternatives.

Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is great for this.

Yes, I live a simple life and try not to over think it

I'd avoid.

You're the one touching other people's fecal matter. More of a chance that you are the "plague."


Nevertheless, I agree with your basic reasoning. But I wouldn't go as far as to hold onto a newspaper that has touched the hands of at least one person while they were dumping.

Agreed. Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is excellent for passing time.

I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.

I started a new job about 6 months ago...now within the same (original) company, though at the time of the move, it was a joint venture.

I immediately noticed the magazine racks on the bathroom wall I knew I'd found a place that takes care of it's employees.

ewwww

It's likely my hands are going to be covered in crap regardless of what I do or don't read in the stall, so what's a little more poop from the paper going to hurt?

It's like sticking your whole hand in someone else's ass.

Sort of a reverse Accessibility Act.

what I hate the most about being stuck with the handicap toilet is that it's often a bit higher than the normal one. You know, being six feet tall and not having your the heel of your foot touch the floor when you shit just doesn't feel right...

FM

Yes, the toilet requirement should be an Act.

Exactly! I'm used to firmly planting myself when I use a stall. I can't do that with the handicap toilets. I'm around 5'8". I can fall in!

edit: Does someone have a picture of a guy about to fall into a toilet, trying to grasp for the railing with a scared look on his face... and with the caption "Oh Shi-"????

I love the places with the single restroom...mostly restaurants. You go in there, shut the door and pray you don't hear the knock if you have business to take care of.

That teaches you to be a pressure player. You hear the knock and then have to get to it. Not easy if you have a backup.

The multiple knockers are the worst. They knock and somehow can't hear you say "occupied" and keep knocking.

Or you can have what I had a few weeks ago at walmart. Someone trying to shoulder the door open like it was locked by accident. So i finished up...went out the door to find the person. He's gone. So I lurk around the shoe section by the bathroom to see if the guy comes back to yell at him. He doesn't show after a few mins so I figure he either left or shit his pants.

lol, that's pure terror

At a restaurant the other day an older lady went to the restroom, door is locked with someone in there. she knocks, can't hear the person inside, knocks again and then says to her friend "must be stuck...maybe we should get the manager to open the door."

lol

ksmurf, you're like the Seinfeld of toilet observations.

What's the deal with the cologne dispenser?!?

I have a good one about my boss. I go into the bathroom after a late night of work to wash up. There are four stalls and four urinals. I hear my boss talking from one of stalls. At first I thought he was talking to me but after a few seconds I figured out he was on the phone.

I am finishing washing my hands and he is about hang up. He finishes the conversation with "Ok honey I'll be home for dinner soon. Love you."

So he was talking to his wife on the shitter. I wasn't able to look him in the eye for weeks without laughing.

Avoid. You can use the bottom of your shoes to reposition the paper so that you can read it (like someone else mentioned). Extra credit if you can turn a page or two with your feet.

I've been watching My Left Foot so that I can master this art.

Then your feet will be touching the paper which is worse, because you're not going to go to the sink and wash your feet afterwards.

But the bottom of your feet touch much worse things than a paper that may or may not have crap on it...

My wife talks to me while she's on the shitter.

See, and I have to pay to get that kind of action.

Ok that was a little odd. Just took a shit and it was almost lime green.

Too much salad? Wasabi? Mold? Moss?

Spinach?

I loves me a poop thread

In honor of rkmsuf, please get the coloring right.

This happened to me when I ate Trix for dinner every day for 2 weeks.

the only thing I can think of is the gatorade but that was blue. must have reacted with the chicken and corn.

btw some corn did make it out intact. godspeed to them as they continue their journey.

Note to self: Don't click on this thread during lunch hour any more.

Lol, classic thread... when I find a newspaper in the stall I consider it a great thing unless it has obviously seen better days than I avoid at all costs.