CFL: The Tucson Toros
 

This is my very first attempt at a dynasty, so bear with me as I try to find “my voice.” I hope to make this an interesting glimpse into both my team, the Tucson Toros, and the extraordinarily awesome league in which they reside, the Continental Football League (CFL). I’ve been thrilled with the league, which is populated by very active, highly personable (well, except for MrBug, and maybe that TurfToe guy, too, come to think of it…and probably Joe/George W Bush…well, geez, I suppose I should mention the extremely boring JeeberD…but I digress) and intelligent (well, except for MrBug) owners, held together by the lovely and talented commissioner-for-life Taco, who does a wonderful job with all things administrative and keeps the trains running on time.

And that, my friends, was a run-on sentence.

So without further ado, I present to you the first installment of this dynasty. Please feel free to chime in as you see fit (except for MrBug - keep your trap shut, okay?).

The Tucson Toros: A Brief History
 

The Tucson Toros are one of the original teams of the CFL, owned by yours truly. Well, technically the team was originally owned by someone else, but they bailed at the last minute and I took over before the dispersal draft. In my book that makes me an original owner. So there.

The Toros have been a fairly successful franchise in spite of my management. We sport the league’s 3rd-highest winning percentage (.630) based on a 60-35-1 cumulative record. Our progress through the years:


*made playoffs

Despite some excellent seasons we’ve been stymied in our efforts to capture a division title, due to a dominant division rival whom we will get to shortly. A couple of things worth noting about our performance to date:

1) of the top four teams in CFL history, we are the only one to never win a championship;
2) our playoff record has been a disappointing 2-4;
3) that playoff mark has been due, in part, to us being a wild card each and every time we’ve made the playoffs;
4) in two seasons (2005 and 2006) we had the 2nd best record in our conference, only to be denied our rightful title by division rival Honolulu.

Division Overview: Much of our playoff misery can be attributed entirely to MrBug’s Honolulu Blue Pacific, who have the league’s best overall record at 67-29, have won four straight division titles, and have won two championships (in 2006 and 2007). They are anchored by legendary 12-year veteran/Most-Hated-Person QB Ronnie Tu, who along with a solid defense seems to carry the entire team year in and year out. They are, of course, our biggest division rival at present. However, their talent level has plateaued and probably declined a bit from their championship years. They’re more vulnerable this year than ever.

The up-and-coming Las Vegas Rounders, owned by TurfToe, are quickly establishing themselves as a long-term nemesis. Historically they are 49-47 with two short-lived playoff appearances. Led by 12th-year man QB Lenny “Jackpot” Olsen, Las Vegas has made improvements in just about every aspect of the game during TurfToe’s ownership of the team. They have an impressive defensive front, and are improving at the offensive skill positions. It is only a matter of time before they break out with a monster season. The question is: will that happen before Olsen retires?

Our other division foe, the Arizona Outlaws (owned by Condors) are the worst team in league history. At 23-72-1 they sit a good 5.5 games behind the next worst team. What is astonishing is that they have been bad forever – they’ve finished in last every season except 2005, when they managed to finish a half-game ahead of Las Vegas. Despite all of their high draft picks, Arizona has remained an inept squad. Every year I think they’ll put it together and become a decent team, but every year they disappoint. They have some talent on that team – why they haven’t been able to do better remains something of a mystery.

The appetizer is now complete. Let us move on to the main course: Your Tucson Toros!

:(

Oh, I forgot. GE is also quite boring. ;)

Offensive Skill Positions
 

Milan Hogan, our 11th year vet, returns and remains the starter (ignore the "Start" column - I've got my meat shields in place for the preseason). He had his best year last year, posting a QB Rating of 97.9. However, he also missed the first 3 games of his career to injury last year. Hopefully he'll stay healthy, which is a prerequisite for our postseason hopes.

Daryl Cassidy was a pickup last year from the Tampa Bay Torpedoes (wademore, proprietor) for a 3rd rounder. We wanted to groom him for a backup spot and possible long-term replacement for Hogan, but he hasn't improved as much as we'd hoped. He did guide the team to a 2-1 record in Hogan's absence, but he certainly wasn't helpful in getting those two wins.

Artie Weinke was an undrafted FA pickup 3 years ago and has proven to be a slow boom-type. Every time I turn around he's picking up a few points in both current and future ratings. He may have a future with us, perhaps more of one than Cassidy.

Worley is a meat shield.


Drew Holliday is The Man - he set a rookie record with 1522 rushing yards in 2006 and has stayed on that pace, picking up 1338 and 1564 yards in the last two years, respectively. He's also a TD machine, with 37 career rushing TDs. I traded up to the #4 spot to get him in '06, and boy howdy has that paid off.

Darryl Bradley is The Man's Backup. He's a versatile weapon, picking up lots of yardage in relief of Holliday and also serving as our primary backfield receiver and punt returner. Very valuable guy - provides us with some nice depth.

Corwin Jeffries has proven to be a surprisingly good player - he keeps improving with playing time, and has been a great receiver for us out of the backfield (although I typically don't like throwing a lot to the running backs).

Antonio Brown is our backfield leader and not much else.


Ramon Sheehy is our longtime starter (and mentor) at TE, but last season he began splitting time with up-and-coming Anthony Torres. This season, the student will become the master as Torres ascends to the starting position. With two other good, young TE prospects on the roster we'll keep Sheehy around.

Our biggest acquisition this offseason was the addition of FL Sydney Armitage from Boston. We've been desperate for a good wideout (the CFL appears to have a severe WR shortage), and we hope Sydney can instantly improve our passing game.

Demetrius Higginbotham is our starting SE, Receivers Leader, WR mentor, and Player With The Most Awesome Name. He's been the most stable element of our receiving corps for the last 5 years. And everybody seems to have an affinity with him.

Juan Batchelor returns for a second stint with the Toros to return kicks. Garcia is a former #1 who is still learning the ropes, and Housley and Ramirez are offseason additions designed to improve the bottom end of our depth chart.

Next up: the OL and Special Teamers.

Go CFL!

I hope to start my dynasty backup based on some changes in my work, we shall see...

The more CFL.... the better. I will be following along, especially to do some scouting for Week 2.

I'll be reading this one. Feel free to mention Boise and our greatness.

Woohoo!!!

Thanks for the encouraging words, gents!

And I should amend my introductory paragraph to include wade moore, TheLionKing, timmynausea, and flere-imsaho as extraordinarily dull owners. Everybody else is cool, though. ;)

:)

A request: Can any of the dynasty veterans give me some tips on using the "code" tags? I'm having a helluva time getting my tables of player ratings lined up appropriately - it appears WYSIWYG isn't quite what I've been getting.

O-line and Specialists
 

Steven Odum has shifted over to center after serving primarily as our left guard for the last six seasons. I made this switch because of his magnificent play last season in relief of injured starter David Pless (now a hated member of the Honolulu Blue Pacific), and because he didn't appear likely to lose any of his abilities in the transition. He's also our position leader, but not everyone likes him. Most noteworthy is the fact that his backup hates his guts, and may end up getting a pink slip for it.

Our starting guards are youngsters - Ross Poplawski was last season's 1st round pick, and Kelvin Connell was a 2nd round pick two years ago. They are both poised to start, and it is because of them that I felt comfortable letting our old RG hit the FA market and moved Odum to center. We brought in Richard Eaddy to be a backup and provide mentorship to the youngsters.

Our tackles are veterans - Chris Frank has been with us from the beginning. He started off as our RT, but the last two years filled in for our injured LT enough to make the transition to full-time LT relatively painlessly. He's solid, but aging. RT Matthew Pitman was a 5th round pick who knocked our socks off immediately after his selection in the 2005 draft and has started ever since.

The only backup really worth mentioning is LT Rob Puente, a 1st-year undrafted FA who impressed us in camp. He's a long-term project, but holds some promise for improvement.

Overall, the O-line is just okay. I'd like to get some better depth - we'll see who shakes loose in the camp cutdowns.


Rubin Castorena is the CFL's career leader in field goals with 183 (76.8% accuracy) and has never missed any of his 182 point after attempts. He has a very powerful leg, but his accuracy is just above-average and his kickoffs are decidedly mediocre. He'll nail the occasional 57-yarder (career-long is 58), but the coach puts him out there for 50+ yard attempts all too often. Still, it is hard to complain too much about him.

Our punter situation is up in the air. Edward Winters was a 5th-round pick last year, and as such was our punter by default. He only averaged 38.8 yards per punt, but did nail 25 of 79 punts inside the 20. We were disappointed in his initial performance, and so we went after a replacement for him in this year's draft with our 6th round pick Mark Gilmore. Interestingly, both players boomed during training camp, leaving me with quite a dilemma. Winters is more developed at present, but I can't simply give up on Gilmore, whose talent (and future promise) is comparable to punters drafted in the 3rd or 4th rounds. I'll let them duke it out in camp, and perhaps try to trade the loser. If no partner comes forward, we may well hold onto both.

Next up: the defensive line.

The D-line
 

Our best defensive end, Lance Crane, was a 1st-round pick in 2007. He immediately demonstrated his value as a situational pass rusher in his rookie year, racking up 8.5 sacks, 3 blocked passes, and 15 hurries. His second season saw him claiming the starting RDE spot and continuing his excellent performance, starting 15 games, registering 29 tackles, 14 assists, 7 sacks, 5 blocks, and 27 hurries. Unfortunately, it was that 15th game that proved problematic, as he tore his ACL and was to miss 63 weeks. I half-expected him to retire in the offseason, but of course he didn't. So we get to continue eating his cap space while holding out some slim hope of a full recovery. He's now down to "just" 36 weeks until he'll return.

I fully expect that poor Lance will be a shadow of his former self if and when he returns. As such, we needed to turn our attention to replacements in FA. We brought in Ted Bernard and Albert Horn to handle the run defense and pass rush elements of that position, respectively. Hopefully they'll mesh well during camp.

Howie Grier is another former 1st round pick, and he has started since his selection in 2004. His specialty is defending the run, but he plays full-time and does a decent job in rushing the passer. Carl Smith is his backup.


We decided to jettison aging LDT Chester Reed in the offseason and turned the starting position over to Henry Stansell effective this camp. We also drafted Bennie Cochrane in the 2nd round to provide some depth - early returns on him are mixed, but he won't need to play right away.

Kenneth Neubauer is our other starter, and he parlayed his excellent 2008 season into a multiyear contract this offseason. His specialty is playing the run, but last year he also managed 5 sacks, 4 blocks, and 12 hurries. He'll need to keep up his solid play to earn his rich contract. Mark Rudd was brought in this offseason to provide better depth.

The Linebackers
 

Grant Wash has been our starter since day one of the Toros' history. He's excellent against the run and has done a decent job for us in pass coverage. He's slowing down a little with age, but we're hoping he can still get the job done for two more years. Josh Jarrard is a solid backup.

Joseph Watford is our best linebacker, and was 2nd-team all-league last year. He's great against the run, has 29.5 career sacks, seven career interceptions, and a career 19.4 PDPct. He's only missed one game in his career, and we'll need him again for all 16 to keep the defense fully functional. Jerry King is another good backup and is also our defensive front leader. We may end up playing him a bit at WLB, as that position is our team's biggest weakness. We let last year's starter, Pete McBryde, test free agency, where GE snapped him up to a hefty 3 year, $8 million contract. We now have a big gaping hole at WLB, but former 7th round pick Bob Crane has some decent potential and has been improving over the last few years. Most importantly he has decent potential at stopping the run. He may work out for us, but King will also be available to help out on the weak side.

Next up: the secondary.

The Secondary
 

This secondary has the chance to be really, really good. Last year we lost both starting corners, Jeremy Rosenberry and Keven Biggs, to season-ending injuries. They've both recovered fully, and I expect big things from them. Keven, by the way, holds the CFL record for most passes defensed in a season with 32 back in 2005. In their absence, former 1st-rounder Ray Minahan stepped up in a big way and improved beyond what we'd hoped from him back when he was drafted. That gives us three solid corners - and I like that, especially given that we'll be facing the likes of Ronnie Tu and Lenny "Jackpot" Olsen twice each. Cornell McCloskey is a former 7th round pick whose ratings aren't much to look at, but whose performance last year was quite good (PDPct of 20, 2 Ints, 6 PDs in just 258 passing plays). Kyle Bennet is a 1st-year undrafted FA with solid potential - long term project, there.

Mitchel Enoch and Kenneth Hartung are the clear starters at safety. Enoch inparticular has put together some very fine season for us, but last year he was injured and it clearly affected his play. I'm hoping for a rebound from him. Hartung is replacing departed safety Alvin McCloskey, whose injury-prone ways were traded to Cleveland in the offseason. However, Hartung is no stranger to starting - he's started 53 games in his career (largely in place of McCloskey) and has the skills we're looking for in a safety (good run defense, good coverage skills). Mike Mirer was drafted in the 1st round this year as a long-term replacement for McCloskey, but his initial impression after the draft left us a bit worried. He still looks like he'll do okay, but might not be the stud we were hoping for. Boyd is a former 3rd round pick who has been a bit of a disappointment, and Bloch was brought in this offseason for his coverage and special teams skills.

Whew. That's it for the roster overview. Next up: Exhibition season begins!

A Word On Our Staff
 

Oops - before we move on to actual games, allow me to introduce the Toros' staff:

Head Coach
Ken Wickes
Age: 46
Contract Terms: 3 more years, $4.2million per
Years experience: 4
Record: 47-23-1
Playoff appearances: 4
Bowl wins: 0
Motivation: Very Good
Discipline: Very Good
Offensive Playcalling: Good
Defensive Playcalling: Good
Injury Avoidance: Good

Ken has done a decent job for us, but as those who have tolerated my rantings over at the CFL forum know he tends to drive me up the wall with his offensive playcalling. Specifically, he has a nasty habit of doing exactly the opposite of what I put in the gameplan. This is one element of the game that I'll be tracking closely in this dynasty.

Offensive Coordinator
Isaac Wilde
Age: 36
Contract Terms: 5 more years, $4.2million per
Years experience: 0
Record: 0-0
Playoff appearances: 0
Bowl wins: 0
QB: Good
RB: Very Good
WR: Good
O-line Good
Kickers: Fair
Young talent: Good

Isaac was the best coordinator we could afford this offseason. He's young and we're hopeful that he'll develop nicely.

Defensive Coordinator
Levon Washington
Age: 42
Contract Terms: 3 more years, $2.9million per
Years experience: 6
Record: 55-47-1
Playoff appearances: 4
Bowl wins: 0
Kickers: Good
D-line: Very Good
Linebackers: Average
Secondary: Very Good
Young Talent: Very Good

Levon is a solid coordinator at a decent price. No complaints here.

Head Scout
Kennedy Jennings
Age: 37
Contract Terms: 3 more years, $430k per
Record: 42-41-1
Playoff appearances: 3
Bowl wins: 0
QB: Good
RB: Average
WR: Poor
O-line: Good
Kickers: Good
D-line: Very good
LB: Good
Secondary: Good
Young talent: Average

I hate to skimp on scouting, but my "owners" left me no choice. Our old scout, who was much better, priced himself out of our very limited price range this last offseason. Jennings wound up being the best we could get. I'd like to replace him next year, as our stadium renovations will be completed then and we should have a lot more money to play with (we've been suffering big losses since our inception - we got saddled with one of the oldest, crappiest stadiums in the league at the outset, and that has really hurt us financially).

Okay, now on to the games!

Exhibition Game #1 (week 2)
 

Our first exhibition season opponent is the New York Knights, ably headed by Noisaddict. They finished 11-5 last year and made the playoffs as a wild card. Their QB is the very good Kim Pace (3589 yards, 26-7 TD-INT ratio, 95.6 Rating in 2008) and his partner in crime is WR Douglas Cowley (72-1104-8). They lack a true starting-quality RB but their O-line has some decent talent. On defense they look solid, if unspectacular. Their best defender is CB Mark Tatum, who managed 8 picks last year.

I'm deactivating nearly all of my starters, and those whom I cannot deactivate have been buried on the depth charts behind my "meat shields." It's all about staying healthy in the preseason.

Here we go!


Well I'll be. Exhibition games are typically not very interesting to me, but there were several surprising things about this game:
1) New York started all of their starters, and what's more is they played Pace deep into the 4th quarter. That's a very risky proposition in my book, but they got through this game largely unscathed;
2) We won. And not only did we win, we won fairly handily. The 34-21 final score doesn't really do this game justice, nor do the yardage totals. Much of New York's passing yardage came in garbage time. I'm shocked at the outcome;
3) That shocking outcome was largely the result of our backups playing insanely well against New York's starters. Nobody would confuse Cassidy (33/53 ratings) or Weinke (23/52) with starting-caliber QBs, but their performances were outstanding. That they did so with scrubs at RB, WR, and on the O-line is nothing short of miraculous. The scrub defenders I put out there also did a nice job;
4) I was particularly thrilled to see Kelvin Connell get the game MVP award. Our new starting RG was 6 for 9 on blocks. Good job, Kelvin!
5) 4th-string RB Frankie Howe may make it hard to cut him if he keeps this up. 11-74-2 is pretty impressive for a guy I brought in just to keep Drew Holliday out of harm's way. Likewise, today's starters at WR, Freddie Housley and Mack Ramirez, are probably battling for our last WR spot. Housley's 7-122 was considerably better than Ramirez' 2-38, and so he's taking the early lead there.

That brings us up to date on the Toros' progress so far. During the downtime between games I'll review a bit of the rest of the league and perhaps discuss other offseason developments.

Cool, another CFL dynasty! Good news indeed!

Also, have I mentionned lately that I thought Demetrius Higginbotham was the coolest name in the CFL?

Yes, I am EXTREMELY boring...

PREACH!

Some additional backstory
 

The CFL's list of champions - and participants - is relatively short. Only eight different teams have participated in the six CFL Bowls to date. Four teams have made it to the big game twice, and two teams have won it all twice. The breakdown:

CFL Bowl History
2003 Oregon Ice 17, Memphis Express 15
2004 Charleston Monitors 20, Santa Cruz Privateers 16
2005 Honolulu Blue Pacific 19, Detroit Vampires 14
2006 Honolulu Blue Pacific 31, Detroit Vampires 16
2007 Denver Dynamite 20, New Orleans Raging Horde 16
2008 Charleston Monitors 33, Denver Dynamite 31

The Western Football Conference leads the Eastern Football Conference in the CFL bowl 4-2.

Which brings us to some additional backstory: the league structure. The two conferences have, of course, four divisions of four teams each. The divisions and teams are listed below, with their career regular season records and playoff appearances in parentheses (asterisk denotes last year's division winner):

EFC Deep South Division
Memphis Express (46-50, 2 playoff appearances, 1 CFL bowl loss)
Shreveport Pride (45-50-1, 1 PA)
San Antonio Stingers (36-60, 1 PA)
New Orleans Raging Horde* (50-46, 4 PAs, 1 CFL bowl loss)

EFC Great Lakes Division
Albany Crows (49-47, 1 PA)
Chicago Hitmen (29-67, 0 PAs)
Detroit Vampires* (54-42, 5 PAs, 2 CFL bowl losses)
Cleveland Flats (38-58, 1 PA)

EFC Atlantic Division
Charleston Monitors* (65-31, 4 PAs, 2 CFL bowl wins)
Baltimore Bombers (57-38-1, 2 PAs)
Durham Bulldogs (58-38, 3 PAs)
Tampa Bay Torpedoes (39-57, 1 PA)

EFC Yankee Division
New York Knights (56-39-1, 5 PAs)
Boston Panthers (42-54, 0 PAs)
Atlantic City Phantoms (33-63, 1 PA)
Hartford Attack* (58-37-1, 5 PAs)

WFC San Andreas Division
Huntington Beach Capitalists (51-45, 1 PA)
Sacramento Dragons* (58-38, 3 PAs)
Long Beach Calibri (36-58-2, 1 PA)
Santa Cruz Privateers (49-47, 3 PAs, 1 CFL Bowl loss)

WFC Ring of Ice Division
Oregon Ice (56-40, 3 PAs, 1 CFL Bowl win)
Anchorage Wolfpack (54-42, 3 PAs)
Boise Stampede* (58-38, 4 PAs)
Seattle Thunderbirds (35-61, 0 PAs)

WFC Cavalry Division
Denver Dynamite* (60-36, 4 PAs, 1 CFL Bowl win, 1 loss)
Fargo Boxcars (43-52-1, 0 PAs)
El Paso Rockets (43-52-1, 2 PAs)
Tulsa Talons (34-62, 1 PA)

WFC Ring of Fire
Arizona Outlaws (23-72-1, 0 PAs)
Honolulu Blue Pacific* (67-29, 5 PAs, 2 CFL Bowl wins)
Las Vegas Rounders (49-47, 2 PAs)
Tucson Toros (60-35-1, 4 PAs)

A couple of things to note from this summary:

1) my poor Toros are in the only division sporting two 60+ win teams;
2) the Ring of Fire is tied with the Atlantic division with most playoff appearances;
3) The Ring of Ice and Atlantic divisions have historically been excellent - and I'm very glad I'm not stuck in either of those.

We are pacing ourselves.

To be honest i think we have made progress every year i have owned the team it just hasn't translated to wins. It is tough when 4 of your games are almost automatic loses but i am hoping to change that this season.

You just had to go for two, didn't you? Argh!!

But it's great to see another CFL dynasty! :) :) :)

Oops...sorry 'bout that Taco. At least he was only a backup. And hey, he's only got a torn ligament in one ankle - last I checked, he's got two. He'll be fine. ;)

Yeah, I've noticed your roster quality has improved substantially over the last several seasons. And you're probably right in that your talent level has been just below what you'd need to be really competitive in a super-tough division like ours. But like I mentioned in the predictions thread over at the CFL - you're only one offseason's-worth of retirements away from having the most talented starting QB in the division!

Exhibition Game #2 (Week 3)
 

Now onto the game Taco was alluding to above - the Week 3 Exhibition match between your beloved Toros and his Durham Bulldogs. I fully expect Durham to throw their backups out there, and so with two squads of backups starting this has the potential to be a very boring, ugly game. On to the "action."


As expected, this was something of an ugly game. 12 penalties and two turnovers by The Good Guys would not be tolerated of starters, but it is about what I'd expect from a bunch of young backups. The 2nd-string team got their butts kicked and were down 17-0 at the half. But the 3rd stringers, who actually starting subbing in in the 2nd quarter, acquitted themselves much better, scoring 18 4th quarter points.

In something of a surprise the coach pulled 2nd-stringer Daryl Cassidy early in the 2nd quarter and played 3rd-stringer Artie Weinke for the rest of the game. Weinke had an auspicious beginning, throwing an interception on his very first pass of the game that wound up resulting in a TD for Durham, but from there on out his performance was outstanding. I'll take 16/29 for 237, 2 TDs and an INT from a 3rd stringer any day, even if he was up against Durham's 3rd-string defense. And WR Housley continues to impress with his 4-79-2 performance.

The only defensive player to stand out was CB Ray Minahan, who allowed one catch and defended three passes.

The other good news from this game is that we suffered no injuries. Huzzah!

Some depth for the O-line
 

One of my biggest concerns about this squad was depth on the offensive line, especially given how poorly 4th round pick LT Myron Page has looked since we drafted him. We have some depth at center with Luther Buckley, and a decent backup at guard in Richard Eaddy, but next to nothing at tackle. An injury to either Franck or Pitman would be devastating, as all three of our backups have current ratings in the 12-16 range. To remedy this situation I brought in FA LT Dana Thiele, a former 3rd round pick of El Paso's who played for Detroit last year. He's a 5th-year vet and is rated as 30/47, so while he's not starter material he should at least be able to step in and play in (hopefully short-lived) emergencies. To make room for Dana we had to eject the disappointing Page. Bye-bye Myron - enjoy your bonus money!

Boise really is great - I suspect you'll be representing the Western Conference in the CFL bowl this year. But if you beat me in the playoffs I'll never forgive you - and I'll for certain take you right off my birthday card list. So remember that.

Has the whole world gone insane? Cybersleuth Pritchett? Toothpick Lang? Come on!

They are very cool names indeed and I love em.

But they just don't beat Demetrius Higginbotham ! :p

Fonz, good signing with Dana Thiele. I picked him up from the waiver wire last season when one of my starters went down injured, and he was a solid starter for most of the season.

I only let him go because he was asking for starter money, and he would have been a backup on my team.

I came this close to trading up to grab Cybersleuth. He had boom potential, but mostly I thought about trading up just so I could have his awesome name on my roster.

And thanks fff for your encouraging words on Thiele - I thought he was too good to just leave on the FA scrap heap, especially considering our dearth of depth on the O-line. I had considered picking him up during the late FA period, but wanted to see what would happen with our picks and undrafted FA rookies. I was pretty surprised to see Thiele still available at this late date, and was thrilled to get him. But hopefully we won't need to call on him too much.

Exhibition Game #3 (Week 4)
 

Next up is Boston, a team that figures to be greatly improved with their offseason acquisition of QB Dwayne Bridges from Fargo. I do not, however, expect to see Bridges in this game. Now on to the next Battle of the Boring Backups:


I'm shortening up the boxscore presentation, as I believe it tends to be a bit too much information for casual reading.

Boston pulled out a nice 4th quarter comeback, and they did so by completely dominating our 3rd stringers. Hard to be too upset about that though.

The bright spots: Carl Smith's 2.5 sacks, Cassidy's competent performance under center (9/15, 117 yards, 2-1), yet another strong performance by WR Houseley (5-53-1), and P Winters' "breakout" game (8-45.5-2), if you can say such a thing about a punter in the preseason. The brightest spot of all, of course: no significant injuries. We've been very lucky in that regard this preseason - can we make it through one more game?

Exhibition Game #4 (Week 5)
 

At long last the exhibition season is coming to a close. We've been fortunate to avoid any significant injuries during this preseason, and my main concern coming into this game is to continue that trend. I only have two regular starters in the starting lineup, and a few others buried in depth charts as needed, so I'm hopeful we can dodge the last injury bullet (which is what exhibition games seem like to me - little more than injury opportunities).

Our opponent for the final exhibition match is the Tampa Bay Torpedoes, ably managed by wade moore. They have some interesting young talent, but I don't expect we'll get to see many of them in this game. I'm anticipating we'll see nothing but backups again.


So much for the Benched Starters Hypothesis: wade moore elected to start almost all of regulars in this meaningless match (I assume to improve cohesion and provide some game experience to the youngsters), whilst I kept nearly all of my critical players inactive. Our earlier matchup against New York featured a similar scenario, and we beat the Knights soundly in that game with just our 2nd- and 3rd-stringers. I was shocked by that fluke outcome, just as I'm shocked to see the same fluke outcome in this game vs. Tampa Bay. We again beat an obviously superior squad with our scrubs. I guess lightning can strike twice.

The highlights:
1) Trent Muir is The Real Deal. Even against backups a 7-133 day is pretty damn good.

2) Artie Weinke continues to impress by going 12/16 for 198 yds and 1 TD, against a real defense. He finished the preseason a combined 43/66 for 601 yds, 4 TDs, and 2 INTs. Methinks this kid might have a future in this league.

3) WR Freddie Housley finished his marvelous preseason with 3-57-1 performance. His preseason numbers came to 19-311-4. He had been battling Mack Ramirez for the #3 spot on the depth chart, but the competition was over almost as soon as it started. Ramirez was okay, but finished the preseason just 9-151-0.

4) P Mark Gilmore had his CFL debut today, averaging 42.2 yds on 4 punts, with one punt downed inside the 20. Pretty good. He's tradebait, but if I can't find anybody to take the kid I'll just carry two punters this year. I think he's gonna be that good.

5) Newcomer LT Dana Thiele got the start and was very impressive, not surrendering a sack and going 3 for 3 in key run blocks. I like that.

6) Most importantly, we suffered no injuries. This has been about as injury-free a preasons as I can remember having. I fear a regression-to-the-mean phenomenon will bite us come regular season, though.

With the preseason wrapped up it is now time to cut down the roster and get ready for the regular season. I've got some tough calls to make with my "bubble" players, as several of them are also affinity guys. Hmmm...decisions, decisions.

I'd like to take this moment and express my thanks to MrBug for his obedience. Keep up the good silence, Bug!

News Article
 

The Curse of Maurice B. Fillington

By John J.J. Schmidt

Phoenix (AP) - Sports and curses. Curses and sports.

They go very well together,apparently. We all know of the Curse of the Bambino. Or Billy the Goat's pox on the Cubs. The Campbell Soup curse.

And, of course, who could forget the Curse of Maurice B. Fillington?

What’s that you say? Never heard of him? Or his curse?

Not surprising, because evidence of this curse has just recently been discovered by Assistant Professor Steven J. Perry of UC-San Francisco’s department of Non-Historical Political Scientology. Dr. Perry had been studying the voting records of 19th century Senator Maurice B. Fillington when he came across the transcript of a trial in the then-territory of Arizona in which Senator Fillington was charged with having an inappropriate relationship with a young woman.

“This is an extraordinary find,” said Dr. Perry on condition of anonymity. “The reasons for Senator Fillington’s sudden flight to Ecuador had been thought lost forever, but now we know.”

The story goes something like this: Senator Fillington’s train broke down near Phoenix, Arizona on the night of January 14, 1872, whilst he was traveling to review the appropriateness of California for habitation (he on earlier visits told his colleagues in Washington that the place was “unfit for small rodents, much less humans, owing to its large, spontaneously growing swaths of concrete”). Fillington’s train conductor was able to arrange accommodations in a nearby village for all passengers until the train was fixed, placing Fillington in the house of one P. Herman Widdlebon, a farmer of some local renown.

Much of the renown, it turns out, arose from his extremely attractive daughter, Mary-Kate Ashley Widdlebon.

You can probably fill in the rest of the blanks here, as Mr. Widdlebon of course welcomed Fillington into his home, under the condition that Fillington steer well clear of Mary-Kate Ashley. Terms to which Fillington of course agreed.

But the animal lust elicited by the 18 year-old Mary-Kate Ashley could not be contained, apparently, for he was subsequently brought up on charges of “indecency with a farmer’s wholesome daughter,” according to Dr. Perry’s newfound court documents.

Senator Fillington was found guilty and sentenced to two years in jail. According to the transcript the Senator was outraged at the conviction without any physical evidence of the crime, but the presiding judge, one Filmore S. Flufinrub, rebuked him saying that “Elected public servants, such as our dear Mr. Fillington, are known by all who think to be inclined to figuratively place good American citizens in tender positions, and then to proceed to give them a royal rogering of uncommon proportions. And so, dear Senator, why would anyone doubt the likelihood of one of your kind doing so in the flesh? Most ‘specially with such a lovely young flower as Mary-Kate Ashley? ”

“Senator Fillington was, apparently, offered the opportunity to marry Ms. Widdlebon, but being as he was already married that was not a popular option for him,” said Dr. Perry.

What is noteworthy are these words, addressed to Judge Flufinirub, by the Senator after his arrival in Ecuador:

“Dearest Judge Flufinrub,

I shan’t forget the shame and senatorial ejection I experienced as a result of your “judgment.” As such I offer you a curse in return: should the wretched Territory of Arizona ever achieve statehood, and shouldst that worthless state ever arise to such a level as to afford a professional franchise based in that tragic capitol city of your courtroom, Phoenix, then I hereby forbid such a franchise from achieving even a smallish bit of success. Nay, I foist upon such a hypothetical franchise my deepest disdain, and may their “sporting-players” be ever-disabled.

Sincerely,

Senator Fillington”

And now, thanks to Dr. Perry, we know why the Arizona Outlaws (appropriately named, no?) have a record of 23-72-1, with no playoff appearances. We know why, despite having a bevy of talented players, tragedy befalls the team via injury or other mishap every season. We now know specifically why they just lost star RT Colin Downs for the season and, perhaps, his career.

It is all the fault of Senator Fillington’s penis.

Timmynausea's Ring of Fire Preview and Prediction Extravaganza!
 

Timmynausea (owner of the CFL's freighteningly talented Boise Stampede) has provided a very thoughtful analysis of every division at the CFL's forum, and has graciously agreed to let me post some of his Wisdom Nuggets here for your enjoyment. Be appreciative of his efforts, Gentle Reader, lest he grow cross.

Thanks, Timmy!

Link to the CFL RoF preview thread
Other divisional previews can be found here.

Timmynausea's 2009 Ring of Fire Division Preview

Tucson Toros
Last year's performance - 10-6
Tucson recorded their fourth straight season with double digit wins with 10 in 2008, only to falter in the playoffs once again. This time the postseason was a one and done affair with the defeat coming at the hands of Seymour Barre and the legs of Alexis Rounds in Sacramento. Even though the Colonel, quarterback Milan Hogan, missed 3 games with an injury, the team scored 25.5 points per game, which is a franchise record.

Strongest Unit - Defensive Backfield
Picking the strongest unit on a team as good as Tucson is pretty tough. On paper, it makes the most sense to go with the db's. Two of the best players on the team are in the secondary in S Mitchell Enoch and CB Keven Biggs. Biggs missed 10 games last year, so keeping him healthy will be a concern. He is the best cover guy they have.

Weakest Unit - Defensive Line
The loss of DE Lance Crane for the year with a torn ACL will hurt as he was quickly developing into one of the better pass rushers in the league. The best among the guys remaining along the line is DE Howie Grier, who is really more of a run-stuffer than a pass rusher. The defensive tackles are solid, but not spectacular and there is less depth at tackle than at end. Still, this is more of a slight concern than any kind of gaping hole. With a solid linebacking corps behind them, and a great run-stopper at safety in Enoch, the Toros will be fine against the run. The lack of a pass rush could lead to some problems against good passing teams, though.

Key Unit - Offensive Line
Of the 11 O-Lineman currently on Tucson's roster, 5 joined the team during this offseason, and 7 weren't part of the team 2 seasons ago. That amount of shuffling is a cause for concern, especially with Tucson leaning so heavily on Drew Holliday and the running game. Most of the new guys will be riding the pine, however, and the only newcomer that will really challenge for a starting spot is RG Richard Eaddy. I expect to see Kelvin Connell win that battle as a superior run-blocker. There is not much here in terms of depth along the line, though, and with two young guys moving up to start at the guard spots, whether or not this line can open up holes for Holliday the way they have the past few years is in question heading into the season.

Impact Newcomer - WR Sydney Armitage
Key Loss - DE Lance Crane (injury)

Outlook - Tucson is not a perfect team, but they are pretty good. There are some slight concerns on the offensive line, but it'll ultimately be a matter of being effective as opposed to being dominant. Noone can completely stop Drew Holliday. Armitage will have a career year and make the people of Tucson forever forget the droptastic ways of Carl Markey. Tucson will roll through the regular season and maybe even do some damage in the playoffs this year. Projected Record: 12-4


Honolulu Blue Pacific
Last year's performance - 11-5
After a human 1-3 start, Ronnie Tu switched back to his right hand and Honolulu got hot in a hurry, winning 8 in a row on their way to yet another division title. Tulsa made them look soft and old in the playoffs, though, coming into Honolulu and rushing for 204 yards to knock off the Blue Pacific 28-20 in front of God and everyone in the very house that Ronnie Tu built. Hawaiian children wept openly.

Strongest Unit - Offensive Line
Four of the 5 starters on the offensive line have won two titles starting together in Honolulu. It's hard to argue with that. I would figure the Blue Pacific line to be pretty good, but not quite great, and unfortunately it'd take a miracle to be effective running the ball with the stable of running backs Honolulu currently has. That's ok, though, because the passing attack has always been the number one option in Hawaii.

Weakest Unit - Running Backs
There are a slew of holes on this Blue Pacific squad including – right corner, nose tackle and both outside linebacker slots, but the biggest hole has to be at running back. It looks like Kris Pisano will get the starting nod for now. He has pretty good breakaway speed but brings little else to the table. He has a career 3.51 yards per carry number that is equally unimpressive. In fact, the roster strengths page lists Honolulu's running back as the worst starter in the league.

Key Unit - Quarterback
Tu. Ronnie Tu. This guy has been one of the most productive passers in the history of the CFL, and while Honolulu's various holes may make them something of a long shot to get back to the CFL bowl, Tu will keep them from falling too far. It'll be interesting to see how much longer he'll stick around, and how Honolulu will adjust once he's gone.

Impact Newcomers - WR Matt Brunner, DE David Hance
Key Loss - C Chris Fenton, ILB Eugene Lemmons

Outlook - Honolulu has fallen behind Tucson in pure talent. In fact, the only place that Honolulu is still clearly better than the Toros is at quarterback. Tu will be enough to keep the Blue Pacific competitive, but the decline of the Hawaiian empire is upon us. The Colonel has come to collect Tu's crown and the division title, too. Projected record: 9-7


Las Vegas Rounders
Last year's performance - 8-8
The season-opening win at Honolulu was one of the best in franchise history, but an ill-timed injury for Jackpot Olson prevented the Rounders from building on a strong 5-2 start. Their playoff hopes were still alive in the final weeks, but they dropped their last two to Baltimore and Tucson to get left home again.

Strongest Unit - Defensive Front
Vegas has a lot of talent and depth up front on defense. With Mario Ah Yat and Zachary Aaron on the D-line and Jorge Butler, Ira Saxon and Jerrod Spalding at linebacker behind them, the Rounders have 5 elite level players among the starting front 7. They also have enough depth at DT and ILB to switch back and forth between a 3-4 and 4-3 depending on which one matches up better with an opponent. Oddly, last year was the worst in terms of rush defense, giving up 152.1 yards per game. That shouldn't be the case this year, and they should get a lot of sacks and hurries as well.

Weakest Unit - Defensive Backfield
The safeties are good, but the corners are mediocre enough to consider this the team's soft spot. The team's top corner, Terry Grayvil, begins the season injured and will miss at least the opener against Arizona. That puts even more pressure on what will be a routinely outmanned secondary. Still, Grayvil will be back within a week or two, and these corners may end up doing ok with a great front 7 in front of them and two good safeties there to help.

Key Unit - Running Back
After Craig Greene proved ineffective the last two years, Anthony Jennings is finally getting his shot as the starting back in Las Vegas. If he can provide them with a legitimate rushing threat to go with the passing game of Jackpot, the Vegas offense could really open up. They have a decent line with a couple of young guys that are still developing, so I'm not sure they're going to dominate on the ground no matter what. The Vegas defense is good, though, and all they need is an offense that can eat a little clock and score a few points and they'll take care of the rest. In years past, the Vegas rushing attack fell short on their end of that bargain.

Impact Newcomers - SS Hans Walton, OLB Ira Saxon
Key Loss - none

Outlook - Vegas is a good team that just happens to play in one of the toughest divisions in the league. They should be on par with what they've done the past couple years, meaning what happens in a couple close games will decide whether they make the playoffs or just miss again. Their defense is for real and Jennings will help in the running game enough to keep them on the winning side of 8-8. Whether or not that is good enough to make the playoffs is anybody's guess. Projected record: 9-7


Arizona Outlaws
Last year's record - 3-13
Arizona had another tough year in 2008. They only managed 3 wins on the season. The defense was mostly to blame. They gave up 25.1 points and 360.3 yards per game. The offense actually made some strides, recording a franchise best 16.6 points and 313.8 yards per game. There's still a long way to go, though.

Strongest Unit - Defensive Line
If they sign first round pick DE O.J. James, the defensive line will instantly become the strength of the team. Even without James, the best player on the team is DT Larry Ellis. Ellis and James could be quite the force together, making it difficult for teams to run and providing a substantial pass rush. For now, James is realaxing at home holding out. He's missed training camp and the entire preseason.

Weakest Unit - Receiving Corps
Poor quarterback Al DeNeff. He basically has noone to throw to. His top target would be TE Erich Frazee, but he is recovering from knee surgery so his future is still in question. If Frazee can't go, TE Alfred Austin would become the top receiving option. At the actual receiver spots it appears Billie Latour will be the top guy at SE. He caught 46 passes for 645 yards last year. At flanker it'd be Dale McKoy. Yikes. The one silver lining here is that injuries wouldn't be a concern since the starters are no good to begin with.

Key Unit - Offensive Backfield
Arizona doesn't have great hopes of getting it going this year, but if by some miracle they did, it'd be qb Al DeNeff and rb Artie Sonntag leading the way. Those guys are legitimately good, and when you consider that they've produced pretty well with an average line and no help at wide reciever, it becomes even more impressive. Sonntag doesn't get enough carries, but Arizona is usually playing catch up. He averaged 4.62 yards per carry a year ago.

Impact Newcomer - DE O.J. James
Key Loss - S Hans Walton

Outlook - Arizona is still a ways away from becoming a winner. DeNeff and Sonntag are the beacons of hope on offense, and if O.J. James signs, things will be looking up on defense. The team is still at least a year and a wide receiver or two away from being competitive, though. Projected record: 4-12

Week 1: at Honolulu
 

The regular season is finally here, and with it comes an immediate test: a tilt at arch-rival Honolulu. It is hard to argue that the season's first game is a must-win, but I believe this truly is a must win game. The battle for the division title will be hard-fought, and I wouldn't be surprised if the title winner was decided by a tiebreaker.

A win here would give us a leg-up in that respect, and allow us to continue a recent turn in our fortunes against a team that has haunted us. Heading into the 2008 season, we sported a pathetic 2-9 record against the Blue Pacific. Last season saw us sweep them to improve that mark to 4-9. A good start, I think, but I'd like to see that nudge up to 6-9 by the end of this year. Winning four straight will be tough against any team led by Ronnie Tu, but I am hopeful.

Honolulu is still a team to be reckoned with, although their overall talent level has diminshed in recent years. They're still strong along the offensive line, have some talent at WR, and a talented linebacking corps. The defensive backfield is good but aging. All in all I think we match up well with them.

On to the game!


I'd say that went well.

I couldn't have hoped for a better start to the season. "Colonel" Hogan and Holliday got off to fast starts, and Sydney Armitage made himself right at home with a 5-77-1 day. Our defense did a great job on Tu (and actually has done a great job with Tu for years - we just kept losing despite containing him), and if not for a single 52 yard scamper by Pisano we would've held them to just 1 yard per carry. A fine all around performance.

One concern, however, is the immediate rash of injuries we suffered on defense. Three starters are already out for next week, and two of them might be out for 2 or so months. CB Keven Biggs, ostensibly our best cover corner, only lasted two plays before collapsing in a heap. His loss hurts, though we managed to do pretty well without him for 10 games last season. Still, it is a bit of a kick in the teeth to go through the entire preseason with nary a significant injury, and then suffer three in the very first "real" game. Dammit.

But beating Honolulu soundly is always a cause for celebration, even if we got a bit beat up in the process. Next up: the Cleveland Flats.

This is where I'd like to talk some smack, but unfortunately after my week 1 game.... I'll refrain.

why? what was the result of your week 1 game???



:p

Other Key Results From Week 1
 

Key Game Roundup for Week 1:

Las Vegas 27, Arizona 7: Poor Arizona. They got absolutely clobbered in this game. They coughed up 224 rushing yards to Vegas (resulting in Anthony Jennings' career day, 19-151-2), and turned the ball over four times. Divisional road games are tough, but man did Vegas lay the wood to them. This is only considered a "key" game because they're my division rivals.

Atlantic City 30, Hartford 24: Without question, this was the Upset of the Week. Atlantic City only won five games last season, but two of those wins were against Hartford, a team many picked to make the CFL bowl. That season sweep was a fluke, to be sure...or was it? AC won their third straight over an excellent Hartford squad. Rough start for Hartford, and a divisional loss right off the bat might dim their divisional title hopes slightly (though I still consider them the frontrunners).

Charleston 38, Tampa Bay 24: Last year's champs got a bit of a scare when Tampa came back to tie the game in the 3rd quarter at 24. Two touchdowns later, the Monitors righted their listing ship and demonstrated what we all expected from them - a strong win. Still, Tampa showed considerable spunk, and may do better than the pundits suspected.

Oregon 20, Boise 17 (OT): In what was likely the "game of the week," a CFL bowl contender (Boise) came up just short in a divisional clash with hated rival Oregon. Oregon's 1st round pick, QB Myron "Angie" Dickenson threw for over 300 yards in his debut, thwarting Boise's hopes for a fast start. Boise will get back on track, but this loss had to be a disappointment for them.

Detroit 21, Cleveland 7: Despite featuring a stout defensive front, Cleveland somehow allowed 304 rushing yards to the Vampires (2nd-most in CFL history). Detroit has a good running game, of course, but that kind of output is shocking. Monty Boyd gained 241 yards on 28 carries with 2 TDs. I'm listing this as a "key" game because I'm up against Cleveland next week, and I'm hoping that Cleveland fails to make adjustments this week. I'm sure Drew Holliday wouldn't mind picking up a 200 yard rushing day. ;)

There were, of course, other important games, but I'm too damned lazy to write them up. Sorry guys. :)

Um... kinda guessin' the CFL doesn't have too much turnover. ;)

BUT! If it did, I would gladly join.

(I'm about to start my own damn ficsim league!)

You'd be correct! :)

We've only had one team change hands in the last two seasons, if memory serves. But feel free to get on the waitlist - you can find the CFL forums here.

It truly is a wonderful league - GE (the original commish) and Taco (the current commish) have done a great job, and the owners are all first-rate.

No worries :)

Now that MrBug has spoken, I feel it only appropriate that I chime in, especially since someone mentioned my name - first rate owner.

Good read so far Fonz, keep it coming!

It'll be nice to follow our trials and tribulations from a second-place perspective. ;)

I'm excited about our first matchup featuring The Colonel and Jackpot with the Holliday/Ah Yat undercard.

Game on!

Quiet you! ;)

Quiet you! ;)

It might be the end of Hawaii's run at the top of the playoffs, but I'm not too down. You may kiss the CFL Bowl ring.

Both of them.

With Ronnie Tu anything is possible - it really wouldn't surprise me to see Honolulu win yet another division title.

But if it's all the same to you I'll just skip the whole ring kissing thing.