Thought We Had a Near Darwin Award Thread
 

Or something like that. Couldn't find it. At any rate, here's a guy who lived, otherwise he would be a top contender.

Gibsonville man asleep in truck bed when struck by train | myfox8.com

< Shared with his friend in Browns Summit.

"Fuck That Alligator": Man Killed Seconds After Mocking Gator Warning

Read that gator story earlier. Feel bad for his family, but wow, that guy was on a completely different level of stupid.

A Maine man died over the holiday weekend when fireworks he was trying to launch off of his head exploded.

The Bangor Daily News reported that 22-year-old Devon Staples was drinking with friends to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday when the accident occurred.

If you told me that someone was going to die this way, I would have put money it was that guy based on this picture alone...

I wonder if he was ever feeling around his pockets trying to find his keys before remembering "oh yeah! stuck 'em to muh earballs!"

If you're getting permanent tattoos, perhaps spend more than $5 on them

I love the dude's "I'm a dumb superhero" smile. I wonder if the drunk people he was partying with when he stupidly blew his own brains up with fireworks were laughing or crying when it happened?

Wait you thought that was his best "dumb superhero" look? He has more.

This guy is from where I live. So it makes more sense now.

His older brother and friends were allegedly trying to dissuade him and he went ahead and did it anyway.

I'm fascinated by this story. And by a post someone made on facebook (that I saw on reddit) of a guy who was completely bewildered that setting a firework off on a glass table shattered the glass.

Maine man dies after shooting off firework from top of his head on 4th of July | masslive.com

"Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid"

I wonder if the anti-fireworks lobby will try to use this to re-ban fireworks in Maine (legalized in 2012, because everyone would just buy them in NH anyway, might as well get the tax revenue), or if people will be sensible and realize that we're probably better off as a society without the type of person that sets off an explosive device next to their head.

Engrave that on the tombstone.

At least he didn't go out with a whimper.

Surprisingly haven't heard any of that up here yet.

At least one article is claiming that he lit it "accidentally." Having thought about it a bit, that seems basically impossible. I checked a couple of YouTube videos to make sure that my memory was correct, and it was. Large mortars are legal in SC, and for our final July 4th there (last year,) I had a fairly big (at least for me) fireworks blowout, and bought several of them. I found a couple of vids with mortars the same size that I had, and some smaller, and in all of them, it's at least 6 seconds, and sometimes more than 10 seconds, from the time the wick is lit until the time the mortar launches. And the bigger the mortar, the longer the tube, which means the longer the wick. In other words, I find it implausible that he lit it accidentally. He would have had plenty of time to realize it was lit or have someone tell him it was lit. Those wicks aren't exactly quiet, plus some sparks from the wick would have likely landed on his face. The "went ahead and did it anyway" narrative seems *far* more likely here.

That had to be so gruesome. I can't even imagine, and you're right, did none of them think to just tackle him and not let him do it?

+1 Ben. There's no way he did this accidentally. He was wasted, thought it would be funny, lit the fuse and paid the price.

This should be in a Bones episode.

And thus hundreds of possible descendants are wiped out from existence. (Sorry, watched Back to the Future yesterday, so people disappearing from existence is on my mind.)

I'm guessing that the mortar never left the tube? That's about the only scenario I can see that would cause a fatality. I don't think that the force of a mortar leaving the tube would be fatal.

I've seen that debated in a few places. The force with which those things is shot off is HUGE. Normally that force is absorbed by the ground. If all of it transferred to a human skull, I'm not sure what might happen. It may well be enough force to shatter the skull, and I don't know what the shock wave would do to the brain.

I had wondered if it was enough to put a hole in the skull straight away.

You can easily die by pointing a gun with a blank cartridge at your head. The force of the firing alone will fracture your skull and kill you.

A mortar blast would do the same thing even if it was mounted to your head and properly fired. A direct blast is obviously certain death.

My wife was in the ER on the 4th one night here in town. Had a guy come in who took a firework to the face. Literally had the shape of a star burned 1" deep into his face. He'll be wearing the mark of stupid in the form of a star scar on his face for the rest of his life.

But the recoil of the gun won't kill you, which is equivalent as to what is being discussed. No one is saying that being in the path of the ejection of the mortar wouldn't be potentially lethal.

Yeah, to be clear, I'm wondering if the "recoil" of a mortar is strong enough to kill.

After some quick Googling, it takes approximately 520 pounds of force, or 2,300 newtons of force to fracture a human skull. If my physics memory serves me correctly, Force = Mass times Acceleration. I'm not sure if they've reported the size of the mortar, but for simplicity sake, I'll go with a one pound mortar. That means it would have to be leaving the tube at 520mph to generate enough force to fracture a skull.

Pretty funny, my bro immediately said that they'll try to spin it as an unfortunate freak accident when in reality he was just stupid

I saw this posted somewhere by what is clearly a dangerous pyro enthusiast:

"I posted this below but in case anyone is curious as to why he died this is my best guess.

It sounds like it would have been from over pressurization honestly. The fact that he died instantly leads me to believe that to be the cause.

Just for an example of PSI vs damage it causes.
PSI Damage
1 PSI Light injuries from frag
2 PSI Moderate injuries from frag
3 PSI Serious injuries and fatalities
5 PSI Buildings collapse, serious injuries and fatalities
10 PSI Most people killed
20 PSI Almost all buildings destroyed and nearly 100% fatal

Now this list is published by the CDC using information gathered from places like EMRTC and war. As you can see even a little PSI can have serious effects.

The best I could find for a 3" mortar shell has an average of 60-100 PSI at point of origin. Granted it quickly diminishes as distance increases. So at the point of origin this guy was hit with 60-100 PSI."

So it's not about the mortar's power as a projectile, it's about the explosion generated at the point of detonation. I believe we should all experiment with watermelons this weekend and report back our results.

Yeah, that's why I'm thinking the thing detonated in the tube, and that's what caused the fatality. I never paid close attention, but I don't remember ever seeing significant depressions in the ground when we removed the mortar tubes when we were done shooting them off. We did have a mortar blow up in the bottom of the tube once, and that did leave a mark. It obliterated the cardboard tube, and did leave a small crater.

Man, I have a scar on my thumb from when I was 12. We were throwing firecrackers at frogs.. I had a quick fuse and it blew just as it left my hand. Tore up my thumb and had blood blisters on my index and middle finger.
If that mortar blew up in the tube, it probably took his head off..

His brother in one of the articles pretty much said as much. Said it was clear he was gone.

Apparently the mom is going to try.

Mom of man killed setting off fireworks on head: rules lax - Yahoo News

The first training class... Don't light explosives on your head? Also, the mom is saying that her son thought the mortar was a dud. How on earth you'd know that is beyond me.

He hit it with a hammer just like Bugs Bunny

That didn't take long. Funny part is I actually agree with them - I hate how cavalier some people are about giving kids fireworks (or even sparklers for real young kids), or being around drunk assholes lighting them off irresponsibly. But surely you can find someone who was hurt when a poorly packed one exploded during transport, or a younger kid who was injured when someone set them off near him. Don't make a 22 year old who put an explosive on his head the face of your campaign, or prepare to be laughed at.

Plus you know, the practical fact that everyone would just go back to buying them in New Hampshire. For people who don't know this area, New Hampshire literally prides itself on selling (often illegal) things to people from Mass and Maine. Coming either North or South, the first thing you see on I-95 after "Welcome to New Hampshire. Live Free or Die." is an even bigger "NH State Liquor Outlet. Open Sundays!", and fireworks stands would dot that corridor leading up to the 4th. Years back MA State Police hatched a plan to sit in those parking lots, radio back Mass license plates to other police waiting across the state line, pull the cars over and bust people for tax evasion. So the NH Governor arrested them and placed NH police there to let people know it was safe to buy liquor again.

I am sure she did not know whether her son knew or not. But I can empathize with her trying to rationalize the accident. It's only human nature. She just lost a loved one, how else could the poor woman get over the grief?

JPP got injured in a fireworks accident and is going to miss out on 870k/week if he misses games.

Hell, he's still technically a free agent, right?

If it was the force of it leaving the tube I can only imagine the reaction of his buddies....."Awwww...."....BABOOM!....."Ooooh"

So does the fire department apparently:

State Fire Marshal Joe Thomas said an investigation into the incident showed that Staples’ death was accidental.

As goofy as all this is I'm feeling really mixed about it. Here are some other things from the article:


He might have been one of us from 15 years ago.

Poor guy was one of us.

Well, regardless if he lit it accidentally or on purpose, if you have a fireworks mortar on your head and capering about with an open flame in your hand or anywhere near the mortar, you're really pushing things.

Great minds, P-Man!

It is weird. On one hand, you do get a laugh when people off themselves in a stupid way. On the other hand, you don't spend much time considering the devastation that these things inflict on the lives of the person's loved ones.

This guy is a little easier to feel sympathy for than the alligator swimmer.

Oh this is good!

Man Named Bear Kills Gator That Ate His Dumb Friend: "He Had to Go"

Nah, I'm willing to bet the gator fella had had a few run ins with gators before and therefore had a sense of...respect, maybe? The fireworks guy? Might have been a great guy, but not a brain in his head.

This is probably a case of one side of people coming out on the internet. I actually had a conversation today where I said basically the same thing. All loss of life, especially at young ages, is ultimately a tragedy.

The way he died though....

Being from Missouri, Im not sure what his previous exposure to alligators is. Although, our local pet store had a 3 foot gator in the store for a few months.

The guy has a twin brother. So, another level of tragedy to the story.