I simply despise public restrooms. The ones at highway rest areas are the worst. Well, no, the ones at bars are. But anyway...

Well what do you do with the kiddie urinal and the buffer zone etiquette conflict. At work we have 3 urinals , with urinal 2,3 being the adult ones and urinal 1 being the kiddie one. Now if you come in an urinal 3 is filled, do you take 1 or 2. I personally go with the kiddie urinal choice over the violation of buffer zone.

Further complicating the matter is that urinal 3 is right right next to shitter stall 1. So if you come in and someone is taking a big dump in stall one, do you take urinal 3 (the usual preference), urinal 2 the middle one (and risk people coming in behind you which forces an instant buffer zone violation) or go with the kiddie urinal and distance yourself as much as possible?

I don't remember reading where you work, but please tell me it's not a cubicle ladden place with only engineers and the likes :D

FM

Oh yes, with a few finance folks thrown in for kicks. But don't worry, it's not in Canada.

Edit: and no kids or midgets in sight, so don't ask why we have a 33% rate of kiddie urinals.

before your edit, I was gonna ask you if you had any 8yo working in accounting or something like that... :D

FM

It's like a Dilbert cartoon. The rest of the company is just as confusing.

the splashback to your shoes is bigger than the risk of splashback to the groin area...

FM

Great analogy! :D

FM

Do you really have to "try" to avoid them? Or do you every so often accidentally come across one while looking for scores in espn.com or something? :D

for Jeeber

----------------------------------------------------------

Fla. Office Manager Arrested After Restroom Cam Found

POSTED: 8:30 am EST March 3, 2006
UPDATED: 8:38 am EST March 3, 2006

A mortgage company manager in Hobe Sound, Fla., was arrested after a worker found a camera connected from an office restroom to a monitor on his desk, according to a Local 6 News report.



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IMAGES: More strange stories, images
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Investigators in Martin County said Rex Largent mounted the camera under the sink at his mortgage company to apparently film people in the restroom.

A woman in the office spotted the camera and reported him.

Largent claimed he bought the camera as a toy and did not use it when people were in the restroom.

Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

hxxp://www.local6.com/news/7645282/detail.html

I'm a man. I search for porn. But sometimes I see girls peeing by mistake. :(

Umm...can we not glaze over this unrelated story?

You owe me a new keyboard. I wouldn't mind a refill on the coffee, either.

This thread needs a Farrah post.

Just wait until she gets off the pot, plz.

Farrah is doing a dootie?

I'll run you over.

LOL! :D

FM

I was fighting uncontrollable laughter through this whole thread, but this post made me lose it. I don't know why bathroom humor gets to me so much, but it does.

Have that beat...bathroom on my floor is 4 stalls, 2 urinals, 1 being a kiddie.

As for a bathroom story...this happened to me about 3 weeks after I started this job...

The bathrooms are out in the hallways, not contained within the working area. Since we are a 'secure floor' and use badges to unlock the doors, they've put keypads on the bathroom doors (which, I never understood--we're on the 13th floor, not like someone would walk in off the street and head up the elevators to use our bathrooms...)

Anyway, the keypads are key to this story.

I walk out, punch in the code, each key making an annoying beeping sound, which can be heard inside the bathroom. Turn the handle, and walk in. Just as the door shuts behind me, stall door #2 opens. This guy, who I thought to be a little odd when I first met him, exits the stall...with his pants halfway pulled up...shuffling along. I just freeze and look at him, he looks back..."There is no TP in that one..." and continues shuffling to the next stall.

I always wonder about the moaning going on next stall over. Who the hell moans when they drop a deuce? I don't. Do you?

No, another excellent point. It's amazing the theatrics some guys go through.

no I don't but that's not why I'm posting. Our two year old groans when trying to push something in his diaper. Think a truck on the jake brakes. I can tell you that if I heard a guy groan like him (or even moan a little) in the next stall over, I'd lose it. Seriously, I don't think I could stop laughing for a dang long time :D

FM

If I've had some superhot Mexican I groan a lot.

Come to think of it, I groan over any superhot chick.

my crap in NC, prior to my guest showing up, had me doing the toilet tip toe two step while dropping my liquid fire. Thats sucks especially considering that my neighbor could probably see my dance...

please report to EagleFan's "Is this wrong?" thread... :)

FM

I'm like ice in there. Grip it and rip it in complete silence and minimal movement.

I can't recall if it was Vet Stadium or the old JFK (where they used to play the Army/Navy game) in Philadelphia - you Philly guys will have to help me out - but one of those places had urinals like circular bath tubs on the floor. I kid you not. You had to stand there and drain the main vein with a dozen other drunk guys staring you down. It was like a urination circle jerk.

That was just w-r-o-n-g. :o

Fenway I think had the troughs way more recently than you'd think. The local stadium in town had troughs probably as recently as 5 or 6 years ago. You pee into essentially a gutter.

I think Yankee stadium, and other old stadiums still have the troughs. I always feel like cattle when I step up to them.

I always seem to get the stall next to the Monica Seles of dumpers. I don't even make those kinds of noises in the privacy of my own bathroom, let alone in public, when I know others are in there with me.

This thread has 48 more pages to go before it takes the Maximum Football thread. Keep up the good work.

Personally, I have a fortress of solitude at work where I do my business. Like 3 floors up, sometimes I do flybys to make sure the landing is clear.

keep Flere out of this thread or many computers will be ruined!!

Man those troughs were the worst. Smelled awful and you had to squeeze in anywhere you could. So you're going while touching hip to hip with two other guys.

Go to #3. It's the guy in stall #1's fault for going in there in the first place.

LOL! That was an awesome story!

when i pee in stalls (if no urinals are available) i normally pee on the handle and if i'm drunk or in a bad mood i'll pee on the toilet paper.

We have two urinals at work, and I'm the only one there. One of my supervisors comes in, starts going in the other urinal, and mid-piss starts giving me a list of work to get done! :eek:

I think I would have turned to face him. You know, give him your full attention and all.

Well, there are high splash guards (chest or neck height), so it wouldn't have been a huge faux pas.

As the case was, I kind of mumbled out a "uh-huh".

You know what is so gross? A couple of summers ago, i went to a camping with my wife and friends. I went to the the WC with a friend and saw that the stalls had what is called here Turkish baths. It's the kind of stall that is just a hole in the floor, without sit, where you dump standing up and flexing your knees. I hate that kind of stalls but anyway, i walked into the WC and saw suddenly two extended legs outside one of the stalls doors (it was a door open in the bottom). I thought, wtf?? and looked to my friend who was also confussed... so, that guy is sitting on the hole???? where everybody piss and dump??? nobody told him that you don't need to sit on that kind of stalls??? argggggggggg


(I hope the story is underestandable, i haven't ever written in English about a WC, dumping, pissing etc before so i don't know the right words :) )

What about the folded up sports section you find in the toilet stall? Anyone grab it when they sit down? I won't, even if I'm going to be sitting there awhile.

During my last urinalysis, I was standing on the blue line that was a few feet away from the urinals. The reason for this is so the observer can see you urinate into the bottle.

At this point I'm the only one in the room. The observer tells me, "Please step behind the blue line."

I couldn't help myself. I turned and faced him with one hand holding the bottle and the other holding off my urine and said, "Which blue line?"

I just can't believe that you guys shit anywhere other than home. That's absolutely DISCUSTING. I wouldn't be suprised if half of you had crabs.

Ahh, there's nothing like good bathroom humor to bring a tear to my eyes.

I had a bathroom experience at work the other day that just left me baffled. I swear I work with some of the biggest pigs on earth. I walk into the bathroom after lunch, bad idea because it is jammed packed full. All the stalls are full and 3 of the 4 urinals are full. So I mull around because I dont like to stand directly next to anyone taking a leak. Something about the fact that if we rub shoulders, his hand is on his wang and mine is one mine. So I mull around the sinks and one of the guys brushing his teeth is finished brushing and decides to rinse. Well instead of cupping his hand to get the water out of the faucet, he sucks on the faucet like a teet. I'm thinking "someone just took a dump and washed their hands there and now you are sucking it like a nipple." There goes brushing your teeth.

So I finally get a urinal and I am one of those people who likes to just stare straight ahead and not say anything, but the guy next to me is a talker. He strikes up a conversation with me. We are talking and right in mid sentence for him (while peeing) he ripped a loud ass fart. If that wasnt enough he lets out a groan right at the end. I was totally disgusted. Needless to say if I see that guy in the bathroom anymore I just walk right out.

I'm so glad I never pee in public.

So what, you hold it every day at work? I guess no Taco Bell lunches for you.

I'm there, or truthfully, try not to be there in public stalls. Luckily on my floor, we have a men's bathroom with 2 urinals and 2 stalls. But...right next door is the men's locker room with a separate bathroom with a shower. There I can go in close the door between the lockers area and the bathroom, and then close the stall door. There's a sign on the door not to lock in case someone wants to use the shower. I always lock the door.

Somewhat related story. Last week we had some visitors from a sea-level city (Jacksonville, I think). Predictably, there's always one visitor that can't handle the high altitude and ends up puking all over the bathroom floor. Don't think I've been back in there since then.

Wait till you see the "Firehose", it's pretty funny. Shit, did I just say that?