Kodos' Paint-Chip Eating Dynasty
 

My first paint chip came off the wall in the downstairs bathroom. Lime-green, I'm guessing that it came from a good-old-fashioned lead-based paint. While a little dry at first, the chip became more palatable as I worked some saliva into it. My initial impression is that it could use some salt... Still, it is a far cry better than the fare that can be found at your local Hooters. Cautiously, I label my first experience a success. I will have to try an oil-based paint next, to see if it can hold up without the need for added seasoning.

And I thought I was weird.

Le chip numeros deux.

For my next chip, I slected a shiny rust-coloured flake that had chipped of off the fender of my vintege 1983 Chevrolay Chevette. Once the initial bleeding stopped (the chip was a bit jaggd), I was left with a pleasent mettalic aftertaste not-unlike the time I accidently injested the Tab of off a tab of can. Pehraps the blood acteda s a bit of a lubricannt, as ths thyme I did not notice any problem wiht drieieness.

Quiet, ewe! :mad:

YOU CANNOT STOP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't know you were Canadian.

Iii hab no ententsion off dat, myfriend.

Chipito nomber forr.

Kno, 3..

Kno 4 isa ship of offmy setpic tankn out;n backyadr A. liteish collar ship, i deaturmun dat it kneads dipp. Outt two the gragea i go,. Thier issum olde peintcans innthere... . Ifinda sckrewdrier and prie of hte li d. Ouhcc! Cutmerdagnedhadn!!!

Ennside i see a knise geernish colours dippin g saowse. Ummmmmmnnn, gooooo ooddoodd1 . Thta hit's hte stopp!!1 Sucksess! Wet luckc,Thee flafour oaughtht too o lattss fror dys. Bery verry godd.

Ohhhyeheaha. I ogtdepostered forea bgein a pubic men ass.

sossry. imneat men; ace3

Go Rochester! Beat the Evil Mohawks!

heleljll eyah!!!!! .

More chips!

This thread explains so much!

SI

I believe the paint chips have finally eroded our alien's brain.

Methinks there is a lesson to be learned here.

That we need to eat paint as well if we're going to understand what he's saying?

That someone needs to go to the Kodos household and bury him.

The cat says that I past out after teh dips 'n chimps, but I thing he is telling a tall tail. Still, the cat hasnot lyed tom e beorfe. I well half toby more carefool...

nEx t'up, tiime forsum ting form teh dek. It is read,nd loooks qiite delishous. ODown shegoes!

Gaaack! Dam splinturds...

Taist like ... fricken would. Blecch.

Deer Primiteve Erth dwellerz,

I acccidental ly esnt the pervouis massage to ewe. It waas intentend togo to Serak the PReparer backkc on Riggel IV.. Eye wantted two no watt Erth bevmirage woold go wthi peint ships.

Sarek re-commendead your Earht paint thinnnner. Will giv itatry...

Rigel IV my ass! I recognize Sectoid when I see it! I shoule have known you were in cahoots with those bastards...

Get him, boys!!!

I rate this thread a five-star! :)

CR

Errmm. Hyea chIeffy. Mite wont toot lokk intwo yorr raaatingn sisttem.

Are yuo reely a Chef, rum?.?

Yes. I make a great Bernaise sauce. And grilled cheese sandwiches. And Oreo cookies (Step One: Open package, Step Two: Remove six cookies, Step Three: Place cookies on small serving plate in geometrically pleasing pattern, Step Four: Serve with milk).

CR

Yeah...Kodos started St. Paddy's a bit early, I think.

Interesting factoid (or maybe not): According to a show I saw, the reason why lead paint is so dangerous is that it is sweet. If it tasted like well...paint...it would not be that big of a problem. But it tastes sweet, so babies and small children (and apparently aliens from Rigel) will eat it.

The paint isn't sweet, but you sure are, fellah!

Can we just hand this thread a 2005 Golden Scribe Award now? :D

Best thread ever.

My paint tastes like acid.

Tastes like burning!

It's funny how many people have seen fit to rate a joke thread like this. :D

It's somewhat disheartening to note that this dynasty has provoked much more interest than my Rochester dynasty... :rolleyes: :eek:

This thread is also amusing in that Chief Rum started it off with a high rating, and now others have felt compelled to drive its thread rating down from the initial 5 rating. :) For what it's worth, I agree with the folks driving it down - It's crap!!! :D

You finally found a topic in paint chip eating that we can all relate to.

And to think that I've been wasting all my effort on football dynasties for all this time!

Golden Scribes all around!

If I didn't know better, I'd think this was an attempt at sarcasm... :)

Blame it on Marmel. It was HIS idea. Kinda...

Wait, no, I accused Marmel incorrectly. Here is the real culprit:

The way you play Madden I just assumed you had been eating paint chips all along. Who knew? :D

Hey, bucko. Who has a couple-game win streak against you?!? :p

My favorite part of this post is that it was edited... must have been a typo in the original.

I like it.

Yeah. The I forgot the end color tag.

You mean you were faking?

Come on!... Could somebody fake something this good?!? ;)

Didn't you see my walk on dynasty?

Babel fish doesn't work for this, could you point me to another translator that would work?