A Footballing Life (FM13)
 

With Football Manager 13 having the option of simulating games, it seems a perfect opportunity for me to again pick up the figurative pen and jot down another dynasty.

31-year old Charlie Madison is the new manager of Truro City, a semi-professional side in the Blue Square Bet South league, the sixth level of English football.

Truro are the tiniest of minnows, with a semi-professional squad and a small stadium. We're only expected to finish 22nd, which would see us relegated to goodness knows where.

Not much to see in regards to our squad. We have just one goalkeeper, who is out of contract. I try to give him a one-year deal, and have been handicapped by the board who bawk at his proposed $230 per game deal. The maximum they can afford is $30 per game, barely enough to a coke and a kit kat. He says bollocks to that.

I visit the boardroom, cap in hand, to try and raise more money for the squad. They're all sitting on their collective hands.

This will be a fun season.

July 20 - The board want to know what my ambition is for this season. I cross my fingers behind my back and tell them we can avoid relegation. They clap their hands and give me $170,000 in weekly wages for the entire squad. We are currently spending nearly double that amount already. My transfer budget is also set at the princely sum of $0.

I try to search the market for interested players who would want to move to the south end of Cornwall for peanuts. Not surprisingly, there are none.

I sigh and walk to the training paddock, dodging unmowed clumps of grass and the occasional pile of dog shit as I drag the bag of training cones.

July 22 - Apparently a consortium is planning a takeover of Truro City and is working out how to buy out the current board. This could mean a desperately-needed fix of funds. It could also mean a rookie manager with almost no tactical nous gets shafted for somebody they're more comfortable working with.

July 30 - Bookmakers have us as a 80/1 chance for promotion. I think that's rather generous, possibly missing another zero, or two.

August 1 - The rumours of a takeover are confirmed. Local fish and chip shop owner Kevin Heaney is prepared to pay up to $120,000 for ownership of the club, and invest a further $90,000 to get the club up to scratch. While that's a lot of cooking oil and potatoes, I think it will take more than that to be successful. Regardless, the board place me under a transfer embargo while they work out details with Heaney. Since I've been knee-capped in the transfer market, this is no big news.

My assistant has told me that all of the players we currently have on the books - all 13 of them - have their contracts expiring at the end of this season. A massive rebuilding project lies ahead.

August

August 2 - I have a new boss. Kevin Heaney had more than fish and chip shops in his stock portfolio, as he has taken out a bank loan of $1.69m to help pay off existing debts and assist running of the club.

Fantastic, you may think. I still have the small problem of an astronomical wage budget and won't be able to get anyone signed until I reduce it to an acceptable level. To give you an idea of our financial dire straits, we offer a young striker a contract of $30 per week. He wants $35 per week - the board blocks the move.

Should have pointed out earlier that the $170,000 budget was for yearly salaries, not weekly salaries.

At least we won't go broke...this month....

August 6 - I reappoint the previous captain and vice captain from last season to their current jobs. Jake Ash is a 29-year old defender who has played for Truro since 2005. Stewart Yetton has scored 163 goals in 200 career games. We'd need more than a fraction of that this season, I think.

August 7 - We introduce our tactics for this year. One striker, two attacking mid fielders, seven defenders. I term it the "don't fudge it up" tactic.

August 14 - We've sold 95 season tickets for the upcoming season. Fantastic supporters we have.

August 18 - Our first game for the new season. Somehow we win, behind a fabulous hattrick from Yetton. :eek:

August 19 - Heaney has announced a restructuring of our debts, meaning we can accept and refuse offers for transfers again. I'd rather he does something about our wage budget!

August 21 - Just 332 fans show up for our first home game of the year. You utter gobshites.

August 24 - Our first foray into the player market, bringing in Welsh youngster Jordan Prosser on a free transfer. Such is the quality of our side that he starts in our very next game.

August 25 - The kid bags two goals as we go into second position in the league.

August 27 - Just two days after our last outing, we hit the pitch again. and get our first loss. What a brutal competition. We are buggered already.

August 30 - We bring in another midfielder, James Berry, to help pad out the squad. Frustratingly, we can't get a defender to sign for love or money.

League Results - Blue Square South
18/8 - W 3-2 @ Billericay (Yetton 3)
21/8 - D 1-1 v Havant & Waterlooville (Rowe)
25/8 - W 4-2 v Sailsbury (Yetton 2, Prosser 2)
27/8 - L 0-2 @ Weston-Super-Mare

League Table - Top 10
1. Dover - 9 (+3)
2. Boreham Wood - 8 (+7)
3. Weston-super-Mare - 8 (+5)
4. Bromley - 8 (+3)
5. Welling - 8 (+3)
6. Truro - 7 (+1)
7. Tonbridge - 6 (+4)
8. Salisbury - 6 (+1)
9. Staines - 6 (-1)
10. Maidenhead - 6 (-3)

Well, this is awkward.

Computer shuts down during the month of September. Turns out it is frying away at a rate of knots and took measures to stop a fully-fledged explosion (maybe)

Dynasty over!

Yikes! But fun while it lasted. Good luck on the computing front.