Who's to blame for my misfortunes?
 

On my drive to a friend's wedding in Oberlin, I heard a lot of talk radio. It seemed like every other caller had someone to blame for all of the country's problems, be it Jews, blacks, rich, whoever.

Well, over the past year+ I have lost two jobs, had trouble landing a grad school spot, had problems with my insurance, my wife had a car wreck, and I got a bad bag of Iams that made my cat throw up. All of this leads me to believe that some unseen group is responsible for my misery. Who can I blame?

(Please take this with the humor that was intended.)

I'm not exactly sure what Illuminati are, but they sound scary.

are those super smart space monkeys?

didn't you play Deus Ex?

triple dola,

Drake would say blame the Masons.

Hell, I forgot the masons. Let's just lump them in with the Illuminati.

of course. you also forgot the commies

Not to mention the underpants gnomes.

Step one: collect underpants

Step two: ??????

Step three: profit

ask this guy

http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/for...ear+and+stolen

The Illuminati, Masons, and Mormons are all basically the same thing. So it all fits.

At least in my twisted perception on things they are.

Jehovah's witnesses, telemarketers, and those guys who go around trying to sell magazines.

Are they super smart space stunt monkeys?

In case you are really interested, the Illuminati is a secret organization of people who are the real rulers of the earth. They have decided who will be the major world politicians for the last however many hundred years. In many tellings of the legend they have close ties to demonic forces and they represent all that is evil. If you recall the first Tomb Raider, the villan was part of the Illuminati (as was Croft's father).

How could you forget to include Canada in this poll!??!

So, are there any space monkies in the Illuminati?

Some interesting stuff on the Illuminati for those who are curious.

Illuminati

Read it at your own risk though! Some things were aren't meant to know.

I have never heard any version of the story that included space monkies...but hey, you could write one. It would be about as acurate as any of the other conspiracy theories out there.

Damned space monkeys!

"Should we tell them that all the monkeys that we sent into space came back super smart?"
"Uh, noooo. We won't be telling them that."

Nice to know even in a joke poll no one wants to be racist... Jews 0 votes, Blacks 0 votes... attaway, FOFC. :D

The only way it can be the monkeys is if they are supersmart green space monkeys...

Green monkeys are the scourge of mankind... :(

Gah! For the love of God, you cannot lump the Masons in with the Illuminati! Are you trying to start another war? Wasn't World War I enough for you?

Christ! Have you people learned nothing about world history?

And you realize, of course, that you are doomed. Agents are already on their way to your location.

Bart: So finally, we're all in agreement about what's going on with the adults. Milhouse?
Milhouse: [steps up to blackboard] Ahem. OK, here's what we've got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people --
Bart: Thank you.
Milhouse: -- under the supervision of the reverse vampires --
Lisa: [sighs]
Milhouse: -- are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. [sotto voce] We're through the looking glass, here, people...

(from snpp.com)

SI

We can only pick one????

Looks like someone voted for Blacks. :( That's not very nice now, is it?

Me, I voted for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Always trying to screw everybody.

I blame this is on Liberalism, I blame liberalism for everything and look where I am today !

The Republicans! Always trying to keep a brotha down!

I blame the white man. They're always trying to keep me down... :mad:

Dola:

And for those who don't believe the Illuminati is real, just look at the back of your dollar bills. Just look and tell me, if they're not real why is the Sign of the Illuminati on there?

tsk tsk. The answer, as always, is Teacher Unions. Blame the NEA, JPhillips. :)

Well, them and Michael Moore. I blame that fatass for my disappearing Cheetos, might as well blame him for your woes.

I agree, Canada should be an opition in this poll. Since it is not, this poll is aisine.

They HAD to design it that way, so when you folded it up just right you could see the WTC on fire.

Wait, that's on the twenty. The secret picture on the one dollar bill is Martha Washington diddling herself.

Bart: You're probably wondering about the coat hangers. They're to block the satellite that's been spying on me.
Marge: Okay ...
Bart: It can read your electric organizer from space.
Homer: Even mine? [Bart takes it and smashes it] Hey, I had Lenny's name on that!
Bart: They have it now.
Lisa: Who are they, exactly?
Bart: Who else? Major League Baseball.

And there you have it, MLB is the source of all your problems.

Of course, don't even get me started on women, they are the downfall of society.

Yes, I hate Michael Moore, and his other heavily overweight communist friends. They all need to be (Happy29 falls asleep)

SPACE MONKEYS!!!!

Yes, it's true JPhill. I, as a part of major league baseball has worked to screw you over in life. I suppose I could tell you the horrible and devisating truth as to how and why we've been doing this to you, or you could watch me swat a few dingers!!!

I think the real evil is concieved and perpetrated by those guys that design and market those push-up, padded bras. Those guys'll be in the eleventh circle of Hell-- right below the guys that work in marketing for beer and cigarettes (Joe Camel and Wassup? indeed)!

I had the misfortune of having to listen to some talk radio wacko (a guy who was filling in for Rush Limbaugh I believe) and I must say that I hope I never have to go through that again. First, he starts talking about the VH1 Top 100 songs list, but instead of taking the angle of not agreeing with the merits of the songs, but how he believes Teen Spirit is the top rated song because of "idiot liberal commies". And then, as if he hadn't destroyed his credability enough, he performed a transition from that into singing the praises of John Ashcroft.

Now, I'm someone who leans towards the conservative side (so it's not like I disagree with everything they say), but even I think these people are crazy physchos whom would be scary if they were ever given a shread of power.

I consider myself a little more right from center as well, however I dont see a problem with my conservative bretheren. I've been listening to Michael Savage, MSNBC's other answer to Bill O'Reilly (another conservative). Savage seems so intent on beating down every liberal within sight or hearing, and that is what makes his radio show so fun to listen to.

Happy: Don't tell me you support Savage's attempts to shut down websites that criticize him. He is claiming that these sites are interfereing with commerce. Nice turn from a guy that supposedly wants freedom of speech and fewer frivolous lawsuits.

Michael Weiner/Savage is a jackass who I'm not really sure even believes the crap he says. I think this ex-hippie/herbalist has just found his pot of gold in talk radio.