Interesting Trip To the Bar
 

So, I decide to hop over to the bar for a beer after work.

I know the bartender fairly well, we're shooting the shit. I see about a half dozen quite attractive girls walk in, go right past us, and into the private party room.

I am thus informed of the following. There is a "sex-toy" party going on in there, where apparently they are having long conversations and god knows what else about the merits of various implements of sexual bliss.

I shit you not.

Naturally, "have one beer" becomes, "have a lot of beers and hope these chicks come out sometime". Over the course of the next couple hours, at least 2 dozen more girls head on in there, and one of the waitresses is telling me there's 50 people in there.

I wait.

...

Those who exit the room exit the bar entirely. I got nothin'.

Now. What's worse is I'm single Yet Again. If there's 50 attractive women who are so hard up that they're resorting to stuff you gotta plug in, I think it'd be perfectly fair for just one of them to come on over for a round of wild raging sex with yours truly.

Alas, no. The Universe Hates Me. But talk about one screwy time to go out for a drink.

Look on the bright side. At least you got more imagery to fantasize about when masturbating...

dude, you should have just walked in there...:D

Geez, CW. Maybe you need to wear the hat with the penguin?!?

Oh no. Not the futon.

You should have walked in, pulled your pants down and said "How's this for a sex toy? Play away ladies, play away."

If there's one thing I've learned in all my long years, it's that chicks dig penguins. You woulda scored so easily...

CW,

I am disappointed in you. I mean, what an opportunity! You really should have thought there would be an end to this thing at some point, and everyone--everyone!--would, of course, leave at once.

Knowing such, I would have recommended you have saved a few money you used on those beers (just enough to get the courage up if you need it; I admit I do often enough ;) ):

1) Make a sign, like they use at the airport. "Sex Right Now? You Bet!", or...
2) Wear a billboard that says you are "Cocky and Funny" and hang out in the middle of the bar--wearing nothing else, of course, or...
3) Ditch the billboard and copy #2, or...
4) Give the bartender a fifty or a hundred or whatever it takes (within reason), and ask him to make an offer to the group, saying all drinks are half off on "Girls Attending Sex Toy Meetings Night".

Man, harsh night. :)

CR

The girls at the office I worked at, back when my wife and I were just dating, threw one of these parties. I was so entirely disappointed they didn't invite my girlfriend. On the plus side I did get to hear them talk about Ben Wah balls, and the like, for weeks afterward.

I....

...don't feel as bad anymore! :)

I'm working on a t-shirt now, for should the chance ever arise again, I'll be ready.

Top Ten Reasons I'm Better Than A Sex Toy

1) I don't require batteries.
2) I don't have to be plugged into the wall.
3) I will not short circuit if doused in water.
4) I can shut up and let you do all the work just as easily.
5) I don't cost 29.95.

...

I need more on the list. :)

Obviously they were in a hurry to get home and try their newly purchased sex toys.

6. I no longer have the clap.

Dean Houston would have walked in there...

...and asked to use one of the toys himself!

probably

LOL!! :D



Todd

7. Everyone loves Cream Filling
8. One size fits all