my situation.
 

it sucks.

hmm where to start.

Ok When I first go to college, I met a girl, the most wonderful girl I'd ever met, we hit it off right away, probably due to the fact that she loved sports as much as I do. we started dating in september of '02. Our relationship was awesome IMO, I mean it too. We always used to talk about how we never ever got in fights and/or arguments, while we would constantly see other couples going at it. It was confusing to me, I really thought we had it good, and I thought she thought the same. Fast forward to January '04. we had been together 1 year and a couple of months, I still thought it was going great. then she breaks up with me. stating that I'm holding her back from living the college life, and having fun. and also saying she didn't feel she doesnt want a relationship at this time, she just wants to enjoy life. I'm devastated as any guy would be, I love her with all my heart. I always will. now our situation, I'm living with her (still) in her dorm room. she agreed to let me stay until I leave for the airforce. IT hurts so much to wake up every morning, knowing I can't be with her, knowing I can't tell her I love her. I try to talk to her but she refuses and gets very upset. maybe she never loved me? I dont see how if you love someone, that you would end it on this kind of reasoning.

What to do? I mean if I move back home , I'll just get more depressed. sorry guys, I just needed to get some stuff out. thanks

Listen. Don't fucking worry about it. The only reason you care so much about her is because you decided to care so much about the most interesting person in the circle of people you know. So fucking widen your circle. You're in college. You're going to meet more, and better, people.

Don't listen to the hurt part of you. She's one girl. That's it. There's better than her out there, and the fact that you're this hurt means you'll find someone else, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

Widen your circle. Meet more people. It gets better.

You don't want to be with a girl who's reasoning is wanting to enjoy college life. To me it sounds like she wants to slut around. I'd say you're better off without her.

Sorry to be blunt, but its college. You're still young as hell, you think you want to be with one girl but there are too many opprotunities to be stuck with just one. It may hurt now but in the long run you'll be thankful.

I'd go to a bar, have a beer, and sleep with a random girl.

Amen.......it's a blessing in disguise.

Or a lot of them. The girl isn't right for you, and she's letting you know in the easiest way possible. Because, yeah--she wants to fuck other guys. But that's okay, because REMEMBER--she isn't the right girl for you. Be happy with what you had. You're young. There's better ahead.

You'll fuck other girls..... she'll fuck other guys..... if it was meant to be, you guys will get together in the end....

Bah. No such thing as "meant to be." You make your life. So fucking make it.

True.

A little cruder than I'd have put it, perhaps, but yes.

"Meant to be" is a state of mind that lets you pawn off responsibility for what happens to other people, instead of having to be active and do something about it yourself.

I do believe that, in certain instances, there are outcomes that can seem preordained, and perhaps they are, but no matter what, they generally all have one theme in common: "God (or the Great Pumpkin, if you prefer) helps those who help themselves."

It isn't going to get dropped in your lap. You gotta go out and get it. That's the only 'meant to be' that's ever worth a damn.

All I can add to this is that if a woman tells you she wants to see other people, you can't logic her into changing her mind.

Life hurts. Life is certainly anything but fair. The sooner you let it go, the sooner you'll be ready for something new.

I second that!I got the t-shirt been there and done that.Don't waste your time being committed to someone who isn't even hiding the fact that she isn't going to be committed to you.I will tell you the same thing that my big brother told me at the time :Suck it up,move on and do what's best for you man.Life is a bitch didn't your mother tell you that.Seriously, good luck and don't let it get you down.If I stayed with the first girl I fell in "love" in my younger days I would never have met the woman I am now happily married to and not have a beautiful daughter.Good luck and don't let it get you down. Oh, BTW I am also, in the US Air Force(F-16 pilot) and when I another rather difficult situation I had a choice either sit around and do nothing or go out and change something since what I was doing obviously wasn't working.So, I volunteered to go to Korea.I have since served in japan for 3 years and korea for 2.It was the greatest thing I ever did.I in fact met my wife in korea she is a korean snowboarding instructor.I know lol.So jsut rememeber it will get better and for gog sake get the hell out of the dorm room live with a friend if you can't go find a nice refrigerator box or something cause you CAN NOT stay there it is a BAD,BAD idea I think.Eventually you will pass from this stage to the bitter stage but it is a process you going to have to go through.

Capt. Dan Garlick Osan ab 36TH Fighter Squadron,Osan ab ,SOUTH KOREA

reminds me of the old "How long to call thread ?"

I second this. I'd also like to add if I had stayed with the first (or second, *shudder*), my life would be miserable now. But I couldn't see that then, only now looking back.

It hurts now, but the hurting will end. Hang in there.

Just to add to the pile...

You will get over it. But not only that, you'll be stunned at how quickly you get over it. That's not to say there won't be some rough weeks or months, but very soon you'll be looking back on this and shaking your head.

You're in college. Time passes slowly. You're about to hit the part in your life when everything speeds up. You'll wake up tomorrow and it will be five years from now.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

And you've got a friend with a couch, right? Or at least a friend with a floor? Go sleep there. Don't hang out in her room.

You've got to change your physical situation/surroundings before your mental situation/surroundings improves.

Some of you guys are brutal! Sheesh!

You will get through this bro! Just hang tough and time will heal all wounds. You can do it!

Just try to start moving forward, not backwards. Show her that you are man enough to move on. Sure it hurts like....but you have to move on.

Move out as fast as you can and move on!

Seek God. Go to church. Let God bring you together with someone in His will for you.
(I know, but the Bible says God hath chosen the foolish things of this world to shame the wise, so call me the fool.)

tis better for you to have learned this now, instead of after your sperm had fertilized her eggs :D

I know it sucks, but theres not much you can do about her. Just move on, find some slut to make you forget about her ;)

Wow Jim, was there really any reason to unnecesarily restrict the scope of that first sentence to one particular "If a woman has decided...."

Does she have a sister?

Try sleeping naked. If you've got the goods perhaps she'll come around...

For gods sake MOVE!!!

I'd definitely ditto anyone suggesting that you move on with your life...

I can understand its hard and soul destroying living with her and would agree that moving out would be a big help, both for you in getting on with life - BUT also your absence may (and there are no guarentee's in life) remind her of what she's missing ....

When someone is always there its very easy to take them for granted ... you're still 'there' at the moment so she isn't going to miss you, simple as that.

If she doesn't decide thats the case then at least you'll have some space in which to rebuild and get on with life.

Marc (in no way an expert in relationships - be warned ;) ) Vaughan

I would repeat what a few people said. Move out - now! It's going to be much much harder to get over this relationship if you both continue to see each other every day in the same living space. Don't torture yourself with that agony - move now (even if it is a friend's floor for a bit.)

Your living in her dorm room? Now that is a liberal school.

move out and move on. Down the road you'll think back and remember all of the great times. If she's not digging you then it is only bound to get worse, nothing you can do to change it. Don't do that to you or to her. Find a new woman and do what you gotta do to get the girl...

Move out. Spend time with buddies and date when your ready.

If you find comfort in the bible, koran, or hacker's quarterly, then read that too.

thanks guys. I apreciate it.

everyone's been there... don't worry... convince her to have sex one last time, then rip off the condom and pop all over her face and bedspread.... she'll appreciate.

And if you do get over her with another girl, make sure you're very drunk... you'll regret the stupidity less later.

Get her drunk and give her a dirty sanchez and a cleveland steamer right before you move out. Then start sleeping with her friends. Post personal ads in her name on dating websites - if you have nude or suggestive photos, use them.

She wants to screw around. Period. It sucks. It's happened to all of us. You'll live, and you'll find something better. Move out, get some decent clothes, get into shape if you're not already, and go on the prowl. The first fine honey you bag will make you forget all about her.

This thread is becoming eerily familiar...

The best thing I can tell ya is do what this one girl did when she found out her bf was cheating on her...

She went to the guys place, grabbed one of his roommates, took him in a bedroom fucked him then left.

I love that story :)

Why did you watch? Or perhaps you were the roommate...

Oh I wish I was the roommate, she was hot as hell. I wish I had watched too but alas, she told me about it as it had happened like a year before I knew her.

Well I'd be tempted to call bs unless the story is verified.

Tell her to reinact just to make you feel better...

Knowing her I don't doubt the story at all. I would but she was a college friend who I haven't seen since school...

oh well, it's a good story though...

besides why would she make that up? If any story screams "SLUT!" that one does :)

Clearly she wanted you...

There are something like 1,000,000,000 girls in the world...just find the REAL right one.

Obviously :D

Agreed.


Also, move out of her room as quickly as possible... being around her that much is just going to make it much worse

This sheds some light on something that happened to me when I was in college.

One day, I had just showered and was going back to my room when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen burst in my apartment, grabbed me by the arm and took me into my flatmate's room. She threw me on the bed, lifted her skirt and had her way.

I was speechless. All I could do was utter the syllable "Garp" over and over. When she finished, she said "thank you", readjusted her nurse's cap, and left. I never saw her again.

I went back into my room, got dressed and went to class. When I came back, all my stuff was strewn about the hallway in front of my apartment, and my flatmate wouldn't speak to me.

Jim went to Oswego too!!! :D

Seems like everyone is going with the "I want to be a slut" Theory. I have another.

If she really wanted to go out and have random hook ups, it seems odd that she would allow him to stay in her room. Obviously they are still hanging out a lot and doing things (except for that one thing) together. The "whore" idea was my first impression, but he mentioned he was going away to the air force. I think she is going for the Preemptive Breakup. Instead of going through what she beleives (and is right to beleive) will be a painful long distance relationship, she chooses instead ot break it off now and spare her (and him) the trouple. Now, once he leaves, they can both get on with their lives instead of wasting time on what will be an inevitable conclusion (the breakup).

Yes, yes, I know there are people out there that have made long distance relationships work. But honestly, how many of those successes compare to the number of failures (that occur in college)? Those successes are the exception, not the rule. There was only 1 long distance relationship that worked with friends of mine...well two.

1) After a year, she tranfered to a college much closer to him.
2) She was a whore, and slept around while he was 100 miles away. They are now married. Oh yeah, he encouraged her whoredom...wierd couple.

It definatly is for the best. And as others have pointed out, her mind is made up. There's no going back. Also, move out. Or explain to her that having sex with an ex-boyfriend is included in the college life.

Stories like these makes me happy that I have an ex-girlfriend who still fucks me.

Well 1 armed midgets can't get laid whenever they want ya know...

What exactly is wrong with 1 armed midgets?

Solecismic, I think I read a book about you one time...

I like the humor we are starting to see from Solecismic ;) (Or perhaps, I've just never noticed it on this board.)