This sounds serious...
 

Hmm... yes, but I wonder, is there anything more serious?

Horny rhino hits on car

April 22, 2004 - 8:40PM

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A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.

Sharka, a two tonne white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.

The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its website, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.

"He's got a bit of a reputation, this lad, and he was obviously at it again," she added.

I think the rhinoceros is going to have to replace the colossal squid as the official mascot of FOFC.

That's dangerous talk...

There's nothing more dangerous than a.... eh, nevermind.

Maybe, if it were a Colossal Rhino. But your run-of-the-mill rhino has no chance of supplanting the Colossal Squid in the FOFC community.

What if the Rhino had a trout in its rectum?

But it WAS a Colossally Horny Rhino...

And one that was "a hit with the female rhinos..."

Is the trout Colossal?

I bet it was a Colossal Trout Rectum Rhino:eek:

My favorite elements of this story:

1. The grammar of this sentence:

"Sharka, a two tonne white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park."

Translation: Sharka stopped with three friends to take pictures of an animal named Dave Alsop mating with his (Sharka's) partner Trixie. He then got amorous with Dave Alsop's car.

2. The female rhino's name is Trixie. Where's Spridle and Chim Chim?

3. "The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side." Everyone knows you mount a Renault from the rear.

4. "...before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit."
Sharka needs to drop a few pounds. It's Atkins for you, big boy!

5. "He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

My mental image of an "obviously aroused" rhino is not pretty. Neither is an aroused rhino sidling up to a car. Finally, the use of the words "banging away" just strikes me as funny in a news story.

There's colossal, but no trout.