Crud
 

so, I've been working on a Mother's Day gift for my wife - I borrowed a camcorder and I've been secretly recording our son to put together one of those mushy DVD's for her. I've got a friend who is great at putting these things together, and I had just today finished up the filming and snuck the camera and stuff out of the house to bring in to him tonight.

just talked to my wife on the phone - I left the frigging camcorder disks on her damn desk at home (suspicious, of course, since we don't own a camcorder).

damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.

say you've been working as a gay porn director for a few extra bucks.

Say you were trying to catch the picture moving ghost on film...

Beautiful.

Tell her the truth in a kidding tone, and she'll never believe you...

Any believable explanation (other than the truth) would have to involve porn, wouldn't it?

Tell her you were sending in an audition tape for planet of the apes 2.

Tell her you need nooner and to meet you in the Wendy's parking lot. Send a coworker in to secretly swipe the disks. When questioned accuse her of being crazy. Ain't no disks there...

Tell her you have been taping her in the shower

tell her about the weekend when her sister visited.

Play the tapes for her and then scream, "Someone is following around (son's name)! This is some kind of warning!"

Tell her you got a bootlegged copy of the newly released full length version of the Paris Hilton video.

Tell her to mind her own goddamn business.






;)

Tell her you bought the complete Lightning Bolt footage and you think it will really be worth something in a few years...

Now, any one of these, or even better, a combination, should get you off the hook...

Say you were making an audition video to be the background singer for William Hung in his "She Bangs" video.