Evil Plan: (Evil with a Purpose)
 

A good day for a new evil plan.

Today we will help our friend Easy Mac with an EVIL PLAN. The eventaul object of this EVIL PLAN is to make his room mate change his thermostat ways.

As always,

no dola posting
no naming any member (except Easy Mac in this case)
keep all of the hot button issues (politics, Iraq, religion, homosexuality, etc) out of the thread
no undoing another step
no multiple steps in a single post

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Step 1: Soak Easy Macs roommates (hereafter known as EMR) sheets in peanut oil and apply glitter.

Step 2: Buy a surplus Sno-Cone machine and vent the sucker into the roommates' room.

Step 3: Insert EMR toothbrushes in bad place(not yours). Return to normal resting positions.

**this is just for kicks since this doesn't fix the thermostat problem.

Step 4: Purchase red, white, and blue speedo. Preferably one or two sizes too small.

Step 5: take the sacred cloth off the Evil Pan

Step 6: Find out what the hell the "Evil Pan" is, and why it was covered with a sacred cloth in the first place.

7: Eat the Sacred Cloth (we need the fiber for EVIL!)

Step 7: Apply Evil Pan to the thermostat.

Step 7: Build pyre with chop sticks in middle of roommate's room, surrounding pyre with ceremonial colorless m&m's and draping pyre with sacred cloth.

(evil plan mod note: digramma is truely evil. I approve.)

Step 7d: Install two dozen hidden speakers and tap them into loop recording of "It's a Small World" theme song. Leave for 2-week vacation.

(evil plan mod note: this is getting EVIL)

step 7e: Upon return from two-week vacation, any time EMR attempts to speak to you, reply with "It's a small world after all."

Step 8: Have Ed McMahon look-alike visit house in your absence proclaiming that EMR has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes and ask how to spell "Fucktart" for purposes of writing the check.

Step 9: Take an"upper decker" in EMR's toilet.

Step 10: Fill out "Contact Me!" request form at Amway with EMR's contact information.

Step 11: After filling out the contact info, grab 23 ball point pens, a sheep, and a knife. Gut the sheep and empty out the ink of the pens. drain the blood of the sheep into each of the ball point pens. Give them to roommate and inform him it is cool to keep pens in the shirt pocket... then go get some spaghetti sauce and pour it into the dead sheep... then leave the dead sheep on top of his 1967 Mustang with the top down.

no, thats one step

Step 12: Start calling EMR "Lamb Chop" all the time.

Step 13: Have a sing-a-long with the Telletubies and air it on FoxNews.

Step 14: Modify EMR Boggle game to have all vowel cubes.

Step 15: Tell all the girls that EMR has a "Tinky Winky."

Step 16: Play the song I believe in a thing called love by the Darkness when only EM and EMR are in the apartment. EM shall be only slightly clothed and dance like a white man with a stick in his ass. Air Guitar solos as needed.

Step 17: Get rid of Fritz for not being evil enough! :D

Step 18: Put gay porn by the thermostat after turning it way down. When he approaches it, taunt him, take pictures and spread them around showing everyone his love for gay porn.

Step 19: X-10.

(Evil Plan Mod note: how fucking stupid do you have to be violate "no naming any member (except Easy Mac in this case)"?)

I called out a member for this in one of the previous evil plans, and got no justice....

Wha...?!?

good EVIL hates a bad whiner

suck it up doughboy

Step 20: JUST TELL THE MOTHER FUCKER TO MOTHER FUCKING PUT ON A FUCKING SWEAT-MOTHER-FUCKING-ER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

[edit]
forgot an extra 1 at the end.

Step 20: When ever EMR has his lady over, leave raw meat all over to ensure that the fat bitch will only eat and provide no pleasure for him.

step 21: Phermones, bees, underpants

Step 22: Purchase a salt water fishtank no smaller than 30 gallons, and 5 live lobsters.

I thought it was "FuckTARD." Like "you are a Fucking Retard"

22.1 The definition of Fucktart from section 22. Fucktarts are a new line of nutritious toaster pastries for that special somebody you h4t3.

22.11 E.g., Fritz is a Fucktart and is therefore nutritious. But don't eat him as he is a hoagie with no meat.

(evil plan mod note: if you don't have a step to add, get the fuck out of this thread)

Step 23: Make sure lobsters aren't overgrown pubic lice this time.

(evil plan mod note: clearly there are some people who are much stupider than they appear, which would even amaze JonInMiddleGA)

Step 24: Wire thermostat so turning it above 70 degrees results in a 180 decibel rendition of Barney the Dinosaur's hit song "I love you, you love me"

Step 25: Train lobsters to become homicidal upon hearing Barney the Dinosaur.

Step 26: Buy ear plugs that will replace "I love you, you love me" with a soothing rendition Static-X's Love Dump. Prepare to dance to evil disco.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...m=fucktart&f=1

Just FYI.

I like this one better. :D

.

27. Bamboozle with sidetracks and loose ends all the while letting Fritz people know he they can add people to his ignore list.

Step 28. Rub feet on shag carpeting to build up static electricity.

Yes, but there are 152 definitions of FUCKTARD

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...m=fucktard&f=1

Step 29: Design Super Hero custume to show newly found shocking ability.

Step 30: Dress up lobsters as my evil sidekicks.