Sports Center Catch Phrases
 

So, a friend of mine found out last night he is a finalist for the second season of ESPN's Dream Job.

In informal feedback, he's been told that highlights and catch phrases are his relative weak spot. (By comparison, he's been told that on camera presence, interviewing and sports knowledge are relatively stronger.)

Anyone have any catch phrase (or related highlight) suggestions?

So far, we've come up with:

"To quote Nicole Ritchie, 'That's hot.'"

"And all the message board guys go scurrying to their computers."

"Nomar: More pop-ups than an infected web browser."

"Sergei Bubka!!!" (Not my own, but I kind of like it.)

I'd buy that for a dollar!

"He's into it like a cat at a mouse convention"

"If this was Batman, there'd be a word balloon saying "WHAMMO!" after that swing."

"Where's my 2 dollars!?!"

"Donna Martin graduates!"

"Always bet on black"

Man the White Sox need more cowbell.

"You can put it on the board...YYYEESS!!"

(For rkmsuf and everyone who posted in the "Worst MLB Announcers" thread.)

Amen, brother.

"That ball got out of here faster than Kirstie Alley get's to the dinner table."

"Good Old Rock. Nothing Beats Rock."

(For when he is doing Rock, Paper, Sissors highlights)

"Asshat!"

"There's no trout in HIS rectum!"

I like this one...and it brings to mind something like...
"He looks more out of place than Gabrielle Carteris playing a high school student."

Like I told Lindsay Lohan, I'm - just - not - buying - it!

He charged that ball like a rhino

Sweet Sassy Molassy!

thats more dongs than a gangbang porno

someone call peter north, cause thats a shot!

We need some catch phrases that involve SC personalities, to endear the contestant to his potential co-workers. Kinda like an SC version of David Spade's Hollywood Minute. Seriously, how great would that be, if one guy burned his chance to win by insulting half of the crew before he got voted/yanked off?



In response to a beaning:

"Ouch! That one hurt. Tests have confirmed that [Player X] lost more brain cells as a result of that beaning than Rob Dibble has ever had."


Or:

"Although the injury appeared to be significant, the team's trainer confirmed that the bruise was only a fraction of the size of Dan Patrick's ego."


Or:

"The game ended on a lazy eyeball to centerfielder Andruw Jones. Back to you, Stu."


I would pay to watch that show.

haha good idea

Ungawa!

Dat boy run so fast he makes your dick hard...

I'll pay your buddy $100 if he works the name "Mr. Nibbles" into an on-air spot.

Jeeber-licious!

The next Tyson fight would be the perfect spot.

"bada-bing, bada-bang, bada-boom."

"He's like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest"

"That's felony assault anywhere inside the United States... but not in this game, because real men play this game."

"oooh... someone hand him his ruby slippers, because he's going home!"

"I want bush; pan down."

We've got to get him on air first, but I'll try to make this happen if he gets there.

How about not just doing stupid catch phrases as that's part of what makes Sportscenter sound dumb these days: forced catch phrases that aren't natural and just seem artificial.

SI

"That game was more one-sided than Lance Armstrong's scrotum!"

Sounds like they want catch phrases from him...

that's good :)

It is alarming to me that ML is sitting in his office thinking of a catch phrase that goes with Lance Armstrongs scrotum. :D

Sounds like your friend is exactly what SportsCenter needs as is.

But in the spirit of helping:

For a long home run: "I think he'll call that one the masturbator."

For a mid-range jumper in an NBA game: "HOLY SHIT!!!"

When a receiver makes a big demonstration after a simple catch: "S T F U!!!"

Just some ideas.

"Great defense by Team USA. A sight more rare than a colossel squid."

For pretty much anything, but it would be my home run call...

Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!!!

My catch phrase for when a guard penetrates the lane and drives to the hoop is, "He's an amoeba -- he moves to light!"

Not much of a catch phrase.

that is so "geek"

"These teams went at it like crickets in Hong Kong."

Well, spank my ass and call me "Charlie."

This is on the ESPN radio station promos I hear. Not sure if that's from ESPN itself, or the locals, but it's already associated with ESPN in some way.

It's from South Park, originally. I had no idea ESPN radio was using it.

How about:

The Ladies' Man recommends you try doing it in the butt...

I get that. But giving him more weak ones doesn't help his case.

SI

Yeah, I know. They use the direct SP clip. Maybe it's just the local ESPN radio station's promo - I don't know.

When a sports figure express displeasure with a referee's decision "hey,[insert name] T.S."

for general use "Bukkake!!"

"I got nuthin"

This wouldn't be a bad phrase as "he got nuthin" when a guy strikes out or drops a pass or plays for the USA Olympic basketball team.

Oh no, the minute this thread went up, it was all about us, not him.

No catch phrases to offer up, but I do think that if he chose to always refer to the suicide squeeze as a killer kegel it would help.

:D

As for me, "He took a hit harder than Charles Oakley after winning the NBA Title!"

... I don't know, whatever... :cool:

"uglier than Paris Hiltons vagina"

Lets say the highlight is Danny Graves giving up a homer to bonds

catch phrase "Have you seen my baseball?"