How's this for weird
 

Alright. Rewind to about 3 years ago. Yours truly living in Chicago, recently laid off. After one of my visits back to my old college, me and this chick hit it off, and when we could, sorta kinda dated. (2.5 hour drive to see each other, so it wasn't all that serious).

School ends (she was still in school, obviously). Apparently, she wound up on the wrong side of academic probation that semester. Her folks were very much unthrilled, to the point of making living there hell on earth. This I can relate to, as I went through much the same thing. Needless to say, it hit damned close to home.

One day she emails me and asks if she can stay with me for awhile. Knowing exactly what she was going through, and certainly not minding the possibility of fringe benefits, I give the okay. So she hops on a train, and comes on up, basically bailing on her folks.

Two days later, she decides that wasn't the wisest course of action, and returns home. And vanishes. No one had heard from her.

School started up, I went down to visit other friends still there. Apparently, the rumor there was she dropped out because I got her pregnant. Well, no, but hookay. I found it funny. No one heard from her since.

Anyway. Today. Out of the blue. After three years. She emails me.

Wow.

Theres no possibility you got her pregnant?

She never was pregnant (to my knowledge - she mentioned the amusing rumor in one of our correspondances today), and I didn't hit it in the first place...

Unless I have powers I am unaware of, nope.

damn

edit: goes to delete first post, as it makes no sense now....

Yes, I know, I know.

Dynasty time!

Pix pls, kthx.

It still had to be said...

Not even from the back?

Not until the 6th reply? I'm quite dissapointed in FOFC!

Watch Modern Problems and then get back to us. It can happen.

Did you have really bad B.O.?

Seriously she sounds pretty flaky and crazy, even for a woman. I'd be careful...

You should bang the flaky and crazy right out of her.

Just pointing out the danger of quoting without context.

Awesome story.

So what did the email say?

I would skip town on you too if you were constantly trying to screw me in the ass when I was sleeping.

Wait, you're right, I wouldn't. :p

Something about a Nigerian lottery I believe.

Really!?! I'm still waiting on my cash from the prince!

It probably said

"Oops, sorry I had you on my old contact list and sent this to you by mistake. Hope you are well, toodles."

I was figuring it said "the toddler has your eyes."

or, "I wanted to let you know about these blisters that I started getting."