I need a shotgun, a shovel, and a few acres...
 

So, in case you missed it, Mrs. Franklinnoble is pregnant.

(I already have two boys)

We just had the "big" sonogram this afternoon.

It's a very healthy baby. Lacking a very obvious appendage.

God does have a sense of humor. We're having a baby girl in March.

I'm already dreading life in about, oh, 15 years or so... Ah, well. Ample time for target practice.

Congratulations. And she'll have two older brothers to beat up potential suitors, so I wouldn't worry about it. ;)

Yeah, that's the silver lining. My 15 y.o. will be about 6'4" when he finally stops growing... and the 13 month old is already a tank (we don't call him "Bubba" for nothing). So, I'm hoping some brotherly intimidation is on the menu. :D

Heymanpicsplskthnx.

Congrats! I have a soon to be 9 year old girl, so welcome to the Fathers with Daughters Club!



P.S. It's hell when they start liking boys.

Gimme a day or so...

I'll bet.

I mean, when my 15 y.o. went to homecoming this year for the first time, I was practically cheering him on... I got him a nice suit, gave him some cash for a nice dinner... I was really happy for him.

I don't think I'll feel the same way about my daughter's first dance.

About time for this lovely file again.

10 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter:
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering
a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at
her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot
keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your
age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off
their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your
friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about
this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your
underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off
during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric
nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without
utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate:
When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: Don't think that in order for us to get to know each other we
should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do
not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of
when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only
word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities
to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my
daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will
continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make
her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway waiting for my daughter to
appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want
to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the
Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do
something useful, like change the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my
daughter:
* Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden
stool.
* Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.
* Places where there is darkness.
* Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
* Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter
to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than
overalls, a sweater, and a goose-down parka zipped up to her throat.
* Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies
which feature chainsaws are okay.
* Hockey games are okay.
* Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding,
middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I
am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you
are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres
behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake
the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice
paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in
my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my
daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your
car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce
in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early,
then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The
camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Somebody shoulda took his own advice.

:)

With a name like bubba, you know he is going to grow up to play football :D

Congrats on the girl. You dont need a shovel and land. You just need to be cleaning that shotgun every time she brings a boy home.

If you give her false freedom she won't let the local boys well you know... In my life although not long... I find girls who has strict parents are the ones who give head behind the portables because their parents wont let em even touch a dude. The one whose parents are cool and involved are hard to get the nookie from... because it feels weird that your trying to bang these peoples daughter while they have been nothing but kind to you. I mean you still wanna do it but you feel bad should you succeed... bah dont listen to me.

EDIT: Please don't ban me for the crotch shot!

(Got this pic from Paul Philips' (the poker player) live journal. Just seemed appropriate here.) :D

Eww I am sorry but I am not into unborn baby porn...

I do too. It seems like she has been chasing boys from birth.

Congrats Franklinnoble.

I dread the the teen years, but right now is pretty damn good with my 5yr old little girl. Although some things you just can't prevent in girls/women it seems. As I sit and play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas yesterday, she keeps hassling me to go pick up "my" girlfriend in the game, and when I do my daughter then starts harrassing me for taking her to the same place twice. Girls are great, but she can be just as big of a pain as her mother.....

Congrats FN!!


Todd

Congrats FN!

Congratulations FN. My wife and I only have one, and although we didn't find out the sex, we were confident given the family history that it would be a boy. But we got a girl. I don't know what it's like yet to raise a boy, but I don't think I could be happier with my little girl.

Congratulations!

I saw the title to this thread, and I knew a little girl was on the way.

Congrats Franklin.

Congratulations.

Girls are great. My wife and I just had our 3rd two months ago. With 2 BIG brothers protecting your "baby", you should have nothing to worry about.

My daughter is hitting 2. My plan is to have a nice big dog by the time she hits her teens (our current boxer mix will work well if he's still around then...). If the dog likes the boy, I'll like the boy. If the dog doesn't like the boy, the dog gets to keep his pants ;-)

Start working on the tower and moat now so it will be ready when the time comes.

SI

Congrats !!

Having the slightly older brother will help you a lot.

My daughter is nearing 12, and an only child who lives with her mother. I am scared to death.