OT: Your Best Reasons For Breaking Up With a Girl
 

I'll start ..

My girlfriend from this summer bitched a lot. So when I told her it was over she kept pestering me for a reason. Not wanting to let her down, I quickly said ..

"Well .. I really wanna beat the new Grand Theft Auto and you've been the reason I haven't yet"

It worked.

Anyone else with any good ones?

That one is perfect man.

'I don't have the money' was one I used, and it was true. Women cost too much.

The classic "Maybe we should just be friends" or my favorite "Do you think my ex-girlfriend still likes me?"

ooh the ex girlfriend. thats bad news bears.

"The new one will blow me and you wouldn't"

Dear Baby,

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population = you.

that one made me laugh out loud. i am contemplating asking a girl out tonight so i can use it tomorrow.

ouchtown...population u bro

"Well I went out with your sister and her friend last night and we were drinking, and yadda yadda yadda, I am extremely tired and they can't walk."

I met someone I'm attracted to and they're good in bed.

"I wouldnt feel right sleeping with you AND your mom."


Actually, I have never broken up with a girl, i've always been the dumpee.

You're just too fucking psycho...

added on to....

I finally saw you sober.

I usually don't know how to say it, so I just say something:

ME: My postcount on the Front Office Football Central forums is 7533. Lets make fuck now.
HER: It's time we move on.

your dog feels soooo good.

menage a trois

This is like peeling apart a grilled cheese sandwich.

I'm gay.

No, that's how you pick up a girl.

eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Image stuck in head now.

It's not you, it's me.

I have used this once... but when a girl I was going out with asked why I don't call or hang out with her my reply was " I don't know"... this made her so mad. Haha I think that was my best...

Sorry, my doctor said I have to cut out all fat.

Its not me, its you

Welcome to dumpsville, population: you.

Here's another good one: Welcome to Dumpsville, population: you.

What about: You now live in Dumpsville, population of 1.

welcome to readtheentirethreadville, population: everyone sans you

what about "get the fuck away from me, bitch"

welcome to dumpsville, population = you....w wait has someone already used that one?

Of course when I said this to terpkristin, it was more like:

ME: My postcount on the Front Office Football Central forums is 7533. Lets make fuck now.
tk:

^^ Dont she walk funny?

Can my dog pee on you?

haha...thats just cold.

Or you could say: ''Im getting deployed .'' Hmmm....come to think of it that really is for getting a girl.

now she does...

I broke up with mine last month. It is complicated. Basically I knew something was wrong, and so did she. I told her I needed some time, maybe a month and we could see how we felt then. She wanted it to be a yes or no thing so I broke up with her. Basically I was proven right in that she didn't see why we should try to be friends if we weren't involved. As my sister told me after, "girlfriend" is a compound word. Without the "friend" part, she's just a "girl."

A friend told me tonight during his b'day party that he's about to split up with his girl. The only reason he didn't do it already is that she has been planning the party for a while, and he didn't want to ruin it. She's nice, but whiney and bossy.

I told him the best way to do it (not how I did it)

Have sex. Great sex. After you get off, roll over and say "Wow! Isn't break-up sex great!"

Hey honey, where is that fresh human skull I put in the freezer yesterday?