How to tell this guy isn't a football guy...
 

so, just got through a few email threads about the SuperBowl squares we do at work every year (my wife and I landed 4 NE 3 PHI, btw...not bad).

Anyway, one guy who my wife used to work for and is about as big a tool as you'll ever meet, emailed the following to the group: "Oh great, so if there is no game for some reason I win the jackpot?". Can you guess which squares he got?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

On a somewhat related note, we used to do something similar for big boxing matches. It just so happened we had 36 people over to watch they infamous Tyson-Holyfield ear biting match. So we divided the 12 rounds into 1 minute chunks (no pun intended). So if the fight ended at the 1:36 mark of the 5th round, who ever had the 1:01 to 2:00 in the 5th would win.

Well, as everyone remembers, all hell broke loose. When it was all said and done, there as a big argument as to who won our pool, since the fight was called between rounds 3 and 4. I held the third minute of the 3rd round. We finally decided that since round 4 never started, I was the winner.

Good times, good times. You can't plan for every scenario! :D

He got 0-0.

My father is a long time football coach. I played football from pop warner through high school. We are both big fans of the sport and the NFL. We can talk about the game for hours.

When we first met my sister's new boyfriend (who became her husband and is by all accounts a great guy) we knew within 5 minutes what he was all about. He was visiting our house around Christmas and some playoff game was on TV. He comes into the room and we all greet each other and he notes that we are watching the football game. I ask him,"Are you a football fan?"

He says,"well, I watch the Superbowl sometimes." That was all we needed to hear. It has been 7 years and I never asked him another football related question.

I have had essentially this conversation, too. When someone is that far removed from being a football/sports fan... I suddenly realize that this person has a life really, really different from mine. It's a sort of eye-opening experience, actually - surprisingly so, I think.

I don't consider sports all that essential to my life -- but to be completely uninterested in sports at all is just a life I don't comprehend.

When I meet a guy who isn't a football fan, I assume he's gay, and then I keep a safe distance.

Last Thanksgiving, we were at my brother-in-laws place with a lot of my wife's family present. When I arrive, the Colts game is on, but a little while later, he switches over to A Christmas story. And then we watch The Blues Brothers. WTF! You can and probably have watched both of those 50 times by now! Why in God's name are we not watching the games?!?

What exactly are Super Bowl squares?

Not sure I'm familiar with this, so I could very well be this tool. ;)

My girlfriend's family isn't a sports family even though her dad played football in highschool. I was over there for Thanksgiving this year and all of them (except for the girlfriend, she expects it by now) thought I was crazy for screaming at the TV when the Cowboys were on. It's a weird, weird family...

I've managed to somewhat turn my girlfriend into a sports fan, though. She'll watch the Cowboys with me, she loves Dirk Nowitzki and will watch the Mavs just to see him, and she'll go to UTEP games just so she can scream her pretty little head off.

In Texas, switching channels away from a football game on Thanksgiving is a justifiable reason to use deadly force.

You make a grid, 10x10, and sell the "squares" to people who want to play the game. Then, the rows and columns are assigned to digits from 0-9 for each team. So, you buy a square, and it turns out to become "Eagles 3, Patriots 6."

For most pools, they give away prizs based on the score at the end of each quarter, maybe a bonus for the final score. So, if your pool is a total of $100, you might get $20 if the score after the first quarter is 6-3 Pats, and perhaps another $40 if the score at game's end is 26-13, Pats. (It's the last digit that counts)

I've only done Superbowl Squares once, and forget really how to exactly play. Thanks QS.

WTF???

sorry - I assumed everyone knew about SuperBowl squares

Same here - it always surprises me when I'll bring up something sports related with a co-worker and he doesn't know the first thing about what's going on in [name your sport]. I don't consider myself a big fan of the NBA or NHL, but I can carry my side of a conversation about players or teams in those sports. When someone doesn't even know how the local teams are doing (i.e. not knowing a Falcons result from the previous weekend) it's just mind-boggling to me.

I can understand people not getting into the NBA or the NHL. Both are semi-popular, NBA more so than the NHL though, but not everyone who is into sports is into them. I'm a big fan of ice hockey, but I don't really know much, nor pay attention really, to the NBA. But I could probably hold me own in a general conversation about basketball seeing as they do talk about it a lot on the sprts shows I watch.

But there's just something wrong when an american male doesn't know a single thing about the NFL.....it just doesn't seem right.

When we were watching The Blues Brothers on Thanksgiving Day, I found myself thinking how unAmerican it was to not be watching football. Stupid NASCAR fan.

At work, a guy runs a $100 per square pool. The cool thing is he pays out for every score change ($300) - including extra points. Whoever has the final score blocks gets the balance of the pot (generally between $4-6k at the end). Two years ago the Raiders going for the two point conversion instead of kicking the extra point cost me a win. I didn't care for them prior to that, I hate them now.

it's worth noting that my wife knew exactly what was wrong with the imbecile's email, so she gets lots of points for that. However, immediately after that discussion, she showed me the Patriot banner she was making with our son for Sunday proudly boasting of the Patriots' "Legacy"...well, the points pretty much cancelled out there. :D

Guy I used to work for witnessed someone getting shot for said action (in Oklahoma).

No joke.

We're running a $50 per square game here @ work. I pulled 3 and 7 for the Eagles, 3 and 2 for the Pats. I work a 2nd shift job, no women in our area. Just a room full of guys insane about sports... lucky enough to have a company paid DirectTV hookup in the room. :)

Don't necessarily consider him a tool. That's exactly something I'd say just to be a smart ass.

except that he really is a tool and knows nothing about the game.

in fact, I was pondering why he was even in the pool, and my wife pointed out that all the bigwigs he likes to kiss up to are in it - it's just a chance for him to rub shoulders with the bosses.

Two of my best friends from college are not sports fans at all. Very cool guys, just much more into movies than sports. I always have to shift into another gear when I'm with them.

And it is amazing to realize how much of our brains are used up on sports. If I write down the following names off the top of my head:

Jim Brown
Marvin Harrison
Tom Brady
Kordell Stewart
Lawrence Taylor
Steve Young

you probably know what all of these guys look like, where they went to college, what team(s) they played for in the pros, what position they played, what their numbers were/are, approximately when they played, and about how they rate on the all-time lists.

You know all of this stuff so well, you don't have to think about most of it, and you know it without ever sitting down and trying to learn it. With what do non-sports fans fill their brains?

What's worse is when guys that know absolutely nothing about football sign up for the office fantasy football league. One time, a guy brought a draft cheatsheet that was literally 3 years old. When it was his turn, he would shout out the name of a.) a player who no longer played on the team that the guy announced or b.) somebody who was retired - particularly in the later rounds. At least he brought a sheet, though. There is a guy or two here that have no idea what they are doing, and end up asking every single round, 'Has Shaun Alexander been picked yet?'

Booze ;).

My work is doing one that is $50/sq, and you have different #'s each quarter. Winner at q1 gets $200, at q2 is 600, q3 is 200 and final is $1,700. Also, there is a thing called "satellites", which if you are on a corner of a person who wins a quarter, you get $125. If you happen to have 2-2 or a 5-5, you automatically get $25 for that quarter. Then at the end, there is a $100 drawing as well.

I am in another one where it is $5/sq based on scoring changes. You have the same #'s throughout the game, and everytime the score changes, ther person with those numbers gets $30. Final Score winner gets $200. If there are less than 10 scoring changes, the residual amount gets added to the final pot of $200.

I wasn't aware that you needed a justification to use deadly force in Texas....

:p

True... true...

Another successful defense tactic is to pull the "He just needed killin'" card. :D

You're going to end up looking like a major chump if there is no game for some reason.

I believe it. We take our football very seriously here. :D

:D

Wow, from people who don't follow football to people who like Toby Keith singles and half the subgroups in between, the whole world must be gay in your eyes. :)

And I would agree with you, everyone is at least a little gay. ;)

I'll take Jim McMahon, for the block!

pr0n?