I Think I'm Dying
 

last nite i was out drinking with the boys. i asked the owner of the bar to give me his golden chalice because the bar is taking on new owners so i wanted a momento. surprisingly, to our amazement, he gave it to me. so in my excitement i took my beer, poured it in the chalice and drank out of it.

he tried to stop me - the chalice had not been washed for 11 years, he said. everyone who worked there looked at me with disgust. they said rats had shit in it or something (i did spit out some bits of something, i had to wipe down my tongue afterwards, i think it was once used as an ashtray). my best friend washed it out, then wiped the inside with a napkin and the napkin was still dirty.

so today i've been out of it all day. for a while i thought my sense of smell was off, i was smelling like something weird for a while. i have a weird feeling in my core, like my molecules aren't doing a good job of keeping it together.

fucking HA, always gotta be the life of the party. always gotta get a laugh. :mad:

i think i'm slowly dying.

I told you poisoning the golden chalice would work. Pay up!

You chose.....poorly.

somebody...hold me.

This post really improves the overall value of this thread.

The pellet with the poison's in the chalice with the palace...

You chose...poorly

Surely you had enough alcohol in your system to kill anything that you ingested.

i didn't think of it that way. whatever was powerful enough to make me drink beer out of a chalice that was dusty and had some spider web on the rim must have been powerful enough to kill any germs or viruses/diseases.

not my greatest hour regardless.

if It can survive your stomach acid, a bit of beer isnt gonna hurt it any. I think God is punishing you for the abomination known as Dean Houston

this is true. the acid in your stomach ought to do a number on whatever you swallowed. it's all good

Can I have the chalice after you die?

You should have drank from the wooden chalace.

Thanks for the new sig

This thread could use some more Last Crusade references.

I thought that the pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.

Or was it the flagon with the dragon?

yesterday scared me a bit, thank got my white-blood cells are gangstas who fuck shit up. fortunately i'm feeling better today, so if i were to die it'd be from something else.

I'm just glad somebody watched The Court Jester :)

My dad made me watch it when I was younger. I liked it alot and still sort of do. The poison bit was definitely funny.

I think it was Kurzweil who posited that if you can make it to 2070, you will be immune from death by natural causes. So, hang in there another 65 years or so...

have a pork chop

People don't posit enough these days. We need more positing.

Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us
With our winning smiles, and us
With our catchy tunes and words
Now we're photogenic
You know, we don't stand a chance

Oh, I'll settle down with some old story
About a boy who's just like me
Thought there was love in everything and everyone
You're so naive!
They always reach a sorry ending
They always get it in the end
Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then
With a winning smile, the poor boy
With naivety succeeds
At the final moment, I cried
I always cry at endings

Oh, that wasn't what I meant to say at all
From where I'm sitting, rain
Falling against the lonely tenement
Has set my mind to wander
Into the windows of my lovers
They never know unless I write
"This is no declaration, I just thought I'd let you know goodbye"
Said the hero in the story
"It is mightier than swords
I could kill you sure
But I could only make you cry with these words"

Mmmmm...dusty beer!

I'm sorry HA, but you only have about fifty years left.

then i'll make it a final 50 years for the fucking ages.

bartender - beer and fresh horses for the men...for tonight...WE RIDE!!!

What, no hoagie?

here is the Golden Chalice. i came upon this thread by accident, and remembered i never posted the pic. truly, it was worth dying for.

HAHAHAHAHA, i'm a funny person. :cool: