How do I answer that?
 

Just got a phone call - confused elderly woman who had dialed a wrong number - "am I talking to you or are you a recording?"

"I asked you first."

"Please leave a message after the beep."

"Oprima numero dos para espanol"

what color are your panties?

Would you like the opportunity to invest in a business deal guaranteed to make you 100% return on your investment?

Grandmom! Dad told me you were dead!!

yes

or ...

BOO!

At the beep, please leave your name, social security number, and bank account number.

BEEEEEP.

LOOK BEHIND YOU!

am I talking to you or are you a recording?

I answered the phone once at work and the guy asked me is this real or is this Memorex?

I used to have my message set as "Hello... Hello?... Are you there? Hello?.....".

Got the funniest responses on the message machine when I came home.

"No, we're the survivors of oceanic flight 815!"

or

"Well, you are technically speaking to me, but I am a robot, so take that for what it's worth."

"Why did you throw that necklace off the ship you selfish bitch! That guy spent his whole life looking for it!"

Why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie you want to see?

"This isn't 213-2125?"
"No, this is 998-7999. What the hell's wrong with you? What are you drunk? You're drunk aren't you?"

I often get phone messages from my Mom, who is 78 and Polish, where she is finishing a sentence and then hangs up. I don't get to hear the whole message because she doesn't wait for the beep since she often thinks she is talking to me.

The funniest one was where she was getting annoyed with the answering machine because she thought it was me and I wouldn't answer her. She hung up in a huff.