The Oracle
 

Since there are many threads on "Need Advice" I thought I would start a new thing for FOFC for advice ala Dear Abby. I am a longtime forum member, but have started this handle to tackle the woes and concerns of FOFC. Beginning today, you can PM me with a situation in which you need advice. I will answer your PMs on Wednesday, June 1st, in another thread so that other members may comment on my advice to you.

When I post your situation, unless you wish to remain anonymous, I will also post your screen name.

Oh, Oracle, why do birds suddenly appear?

Hmmm, are you asking this question because they show up "every time you are near"?
Well the answer is "Just like me, they long to be, close to you".
The Oracle is not the only one to answer this illogical puzzle.

Oracle, should I take the red or blue pill?

Do you think Negrodamus could kick your butt?

Why does it hurt when I pee?
My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

What makes an ocean wave wave?

If T.O. holds out in the woods, and no one is around to pay attention, does he eventually show up for training camp?

I so badly wanted to parody this with a thread titled "The Orifice".. but.. Why didn't I do that?

because it wouldn't be that funny?

thanks, man, but I can't wait for the oracle's answer to this one.. Though something tells me youre probably thinking the same thing.

credentials?

There is no spoon.

Oracle: When is Solecismic's next game being released?

Has anyone noticed that the Oracle didn't answer a single question? I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

They are hard to see when they fly out of your ass.

Blue pill.

Definitely not.

You need to jerk it or find a good woman, Mr. Blue Balls.

The waves wave at people. When people are not there, they do not wave.

Yes, but he may be suspended for at least four games...which will be overturned.

You know that the Gods will mock you and set you up with a hot transvestite if you do.

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

It will be released when it is done.

This is a free service so you shall receive two cents back.

Where's the beef?

See? Now that's what I'm talking about.