Female friends
 

Here is my question of the day: Can married men have female friends? Is that always a recipe for trouble? I'm not going to go into why I'm asking yet, I'm just interested in some opinions.

Yes. I am a married man I have quite a few female friends. Some are mutual friends of me and my wife and some are friends of mine who I knew before I met Lady H_B. Certainly it could be a recipe for trouble, but it's certainly not a given.

Honestly, all of my female friends have turned into my wifes friends so I am not that worried....now it's my hot wifes friend that she should be concerned about;)

trying to compute that sentence here. Is it your "hot wife" or the "hot friends of your wife"?? :D

FM

either way, pix pls, thnks.

I would say it depends on the wife.....and the man. If your wife is not the jealous type, and pretty trusting then I guess so. Personally, my wife would probably be cool with it except for one thing. I have always said that 'Guys can't be just friends with women." What I mean by this, is there is usually a want to get in her pants on some level.

There are plenty of exceptions of course, but I think it is true in most cases. IMO.

So, as long as the guy can control himself and the wife trusts that you will and she won't have any problems, then cool. Or get permission from the wife to do other women, that one works too. :D

You see, that is were I was coming from. I always thought men couldn't be friends with a woman without wanting to get into their pants (at least if the man is attacted to her). The situation I'm dealing with now is sort of disproving that to me.

I want to wait to get into what I'm asking about to not bias the sample. :D

It's still early for me...the new baby kept me up all night...

I do have a hot wife....but then she has some hot friends....

There is this one....let me stop there.......:D

LOL :D

FM

This sounds like something both you and your wife should team up on.
;)

I don't have many female friends, though I do have one particularly close one at work (and yes, the wife knows and likes her, too), so yes, a married guy can have female friends.

I also agree with Cringer a little in that it can be difficult to keep certain instincts in check because even though you are friends, you are a guy and she's a girl. As long as you know where the lines are drawn between you and her (usually with bright bold highlighter and then inked in black "Death awaits you if you cross this line") then there shouldn't be any issues.

Trust me....the thoughts....

Have I also mentioned I am now on 3 weeks in the desert......

oh painful... That could explain the thoughts... :)

FM

Then the hallucinations should be just about as real by now. Enjoy.
:p

Do tell. :p

Just don't mix these friendships with large amounts of alchohol and/or a frequently absent significant other (out of town, constantly working, etc.) and you should be fine. Can totally work out great, but that being said if she is single or in an unhappy relationship, you need to have your head up and eyes open for signs that things might be moving in an uncomfortable direction. Or, maybe with a little wife convincing, a very comfortable direction :D

Only if:

A. My wife knows them.
B. They are NOT ex-girlfriends.
C. They don't have big boobs, because well, I like to stare. :)

Thats the issue with my wifes one Hot Friend....they are beyond big...she had G's put in....they are......amazing.....

:D


Get as friendly as you possibly can. What is wrong with you man? Hell, act gay if you have to, maybe she will get comfortable enough to change in front of you.

Overkill. Any more than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb.

For me....thats one injury I am willing to play through...

I think I saw that Simpsons episode...

No, it's called When Harry Met Sally.

Mine as well give us the info....or the thread will derail pretty quickly

True, I was considering posting Loren's cleavage in my response to Ksyrup's suggestion that more then a handfull is too much. :D

See, I am always game for that.....:D

I don't want to derail the thread. I will throw one into the Wife's Pics thread. She told me to put one up there anyways a few days ago I think.

Still doesn't change my opinion. I've never been all that impressed with large boobs, anyway. But I understand that puts me in a significant minority.

better yet, go film a shitty infofilm and tell your GF/wife that you have to kiss someone else :) then you'll see how cool she is.

Ok, you need to touch them then. That will convince you. Where can I send my wife?

just kidding...shit she's gonna kill me, hopefully she doesn't see this thread. :(

And I like all sizes. If I can see them, I am enjoying them.

I'm with you. though my wife is DD. Large boobies can be "distracting" they really are not nessecary. I like average size, maybe even slightly small breasteses. Anyway, interesting derailment.

Just passing the time until you decide to give more details about your question.
;)

bah, you've never met a breast you didn't like

I've never had much luck with it... of course, I'm divorced now. I tend to have issues with it. My friends think I'm weird cause I don't just get in a girl's pants, I make them fall for me. I guess I've never been able to differentiate... Just being honest.

-Chas

Ok, this will be long...


I attend a convention every year that they have locally. It is a lot of fun, and me and my friends have a good time. Last year I went with 4 friends, one of whom who was bound and determined to "hook up" with a chick over the weekend. It is all he talked about, and he really got pissy after the first night when he didn't immediately find willing women lining up at the door (he has an inflated ego, because he was a bit of a player when he was younger. He's now old, and lost his skills).

Anyway, One my friends (who is involved and living with someone) and I (who is very long time married. I mean 15 years and two kids married) decided we'd strike out together and try and find him a woman to at least hang out with him and shut him up. So, we headed out to various events in the hotel looking for the moderately attractive and possibly desperate. Who we found didn't fit either description.

This was one of the concert rooms, so there was a local band playing complete crap on stage very loudly. She was next to the water cooler in the back of the room. Pretty face, nicely built (in a dress that highlighted her ample cleavage), more than moderately attractive, and she was alone. So, my friend and I approached, and with a confidence I would have never had as a single man, started talking to her. We had one of those shouting-over the music-conversations until we decided to go outside to the smoking area (she smoked), and at that point things went weird.

Her friend (not as hot) came up on us while we were outside, and we began what shall ever be called "the long conversation." From 10:30 that night until 6:45 the next morning we all talked, cut up, and just generally had a good time. She told me about her job (she has a Masters of Psychology, and worked as a part of a big study of vets), which is an area of interest to me. I told her about my life, and very early on told her I was married and had kids. We went on to talk about everything. It ended up she came to this thing because a friend of hers met a guy here, and she hadn’t had a boyfriend in over a year. But she also said she wasn’t into the “one night stand” thing, and had only slept with a handful of guys in her life (which I took to mean hooking her up with my other friend, who only want that, was out). Anyway, I figured that she knew I was married, my friend was taken, and that would be that. After a long night, we parted to sleep without making any plans to see each other again. Of course, that is not what happened.

The next evening, we “bumped” into her, on her own, at an event I mentioned we were going to be at. We then spent basically all our waking time together over the next couple of days. She admitted that she hung out with us on the first night because she was attracted to me (so her flaw is she has bad taste), but she would never have a “dating” relationship with a married man. I also would not (I don’t like married men, either). I didn’t want a “hook-up” or a fling, or anything like that, but I enjoyed talking with her. The last night of hanging out we parted with a hand-shake, no phone numbers or emails traded. She lives about a thousand miles away, so it wasn’t like we were going to bump into each other again. We left it at that.

This year, I went back not expecting to see her, but she found us. She has a live-in boyfriend now, but he didn’t come with her. So once again we spent a weekend of talking, cutting up, and generally having a good time. This time we decided that we would exchange info and stay in touch. We are just to “connected” as friends not to.

Now, my wife knows about last year and this year. She knows that I don’t make very many close friends, and she’s ok with us talking. She is getting the line from others that “men can’t be friends with women.” She is also a bit jealous. She has always been, and honestly early in our relationship I gave her reason. Now is 15 years later, though. I would never, ever want to jeopardize my marriage or my life with my kids. I do, though, need this friendship for a couple of reasons. First, I think I help this girl (she is ten years younger than me btw) by giving her advice from an experienced world view. Second, she helps me by giving me a sounding board from someone not in the middle of my life.

Anyway, given that there is some attraction between both of us, but that neither of us are interested in that, is this too dangerous?

probably my closest friend (or at least the one I talk to the most) is female. she actually used to be one of my wife's friends, but over time we just became good friends and now she and my wife barely talk. she's attractive and my wife knows I would totally sleep with her if I could, but, more importantly, she also knows that I wouldn't, so it works out ok.

generally, I've always had more "girl" friends than "guy" friends - always found it easier to get along with chicks. why I'm hanging out on a male-dominated message board for a game I haven't played in years, I'm not sure.

Thats one of the things, there is the clear attraction between the two of you. So yeah I say it makes it somewhat dangerous. And your wife is already a little jealous. This may or may not get better. The fact that she is someone your wife has not met, yet you seem to have a strong bond with in a way, I say this leads to her jealousy getting a little worse. I don't know your wife though, so tat is obviously just a guess.

It's a tough situation man. If you honestly have no wishes to sleep with this woman, I say the best thing for your marriage would be to drag the wife along next time you happen to see her again. If your wife is willing that is.

Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.

Naw, she says no three ways unless it is with Angelina Jolie. Oh, you mean meet her! Yeah, I think that might be good, too, but then again, if she hates her it might turn out very bad.

well, the answer is maybe.
the attraction is there for both of you, and you are BOTH interested in following up with it. you may not realize it now, but you will feel that tug at some point. it's a question of whether you trust yourself to be able to resist temptation, and whether you trust her to do the same (fwiw, when I read your story, I see a woman who very much would like to take things to that next level, despite her platonic appearances).

like I said above - I'm attracted to my close friend, and vise versa, and we've been good friends for 8 or 9 years now with no issues. But we have a very good friendship (and we are also honest with each other, as well as the fact that I'm honest with my wife). If that solid foundation wasn't there, it could definitely be more difficult if not impossible - in other words, we both know that despite the attraction, or ultimate goal is just a nice, solid friendship, not an affair waiting to happen. If my wife was the jealous type, or if I was the cheating type, again, no way it would work.

lol.

Yeah, the part about your wife maybe not liking her crossed my mind. It's a tough one for sure. I do lean towards what DD said, she seems like she might be a little more interested in you then she admits, but is being respectful of your marriage.

You know how I avoid these kind of situations. I stay in a truck and have no friends. :D

Hey, I saw this episode, too.



SI

No way no how would my wife go for something like that.

if you let a fly in the kitchen your bound to have to open the window to let it out and when you open the window you never know what will happen....sooooo, keep the window shut.

What? Diagram, please.

I think it means keep it in your pants or a fly will land on it.

Are we talking a literal fly or a metaphorical fly?

SI

And wouldn't a literal fly tickle? Not that I'm into insects in any way. I dd once date a girl we called "bug," but she wasn't a real insect. Honest.

Fly meaning kitchen knife. Bobbitized.