My kid thinks he's Abbott (or Costello)
 

starring Me and Graham (3 1/2)

G: Daddy, wanna see me do a magic trick?
D: Sure
G [after eating a potato chip]: See, presto it disappered. It's magic.
D: Well, neat! You are quite a Houdini
G: Who is Deenie?
D: It's HOU-Dini, and he was a magician.
G: Deenie is a magician?
D: HOU-Dini was a magician
G: No Daddy, Weenie is a dog. Deenie is a magician.
D: HOU-Dini!
G: Who is Deenie?
D: No, it's HOUDINI; he was a magician
G: Who is Houdini?
D: Yes, that's right. Houdini! He did magic tricks.
G: He did magic tricks yesterday?
D: No, it was a long time ago.
G: Did I see them at my house?
D: [long, "I give up" sigh]

You got Punk'D!

THIRD BASE!

Weenie?

2 + 2 = 4

Your child does an excellent cross-examination and has a bright future in the legal realm.

True to my reading style, I skipped past the middle right to the end of the story...

That is great - I am laughing out loud at my desk!!!

Reminds me of conversation I had with my 8 year old on Tuesday. We had our dog fixed and he was asking me about the surgery:

Him: So what did the dr. do to Leo
Me: He fixed him so he couldn't have babies
Him: I thought only girls had babies
Me: Well, yes, but the man makes baby juice and the lady has the egg and that is how the baby is made
Him: Ewwww...gross! So how do they get the baby juice out of Leo
me: Are you sure you want to know?
Him: Yes
Me: Well, you know that thing behind your penis that is like a bag?
Him: No
Me: Well, it's there....the dr cut it open and took out what was inside
Him: Oh -you mean that thing with the marbles in it?
Me: Yes
Him: I like to squeeze that, but it hurts
Me: Well don't do that...it's bad for you
Him: But it hurts and feels really good
Me: So how was school today?

My 6 year old nephew called the other day to tell us his mom and dad are "renting" a baby (they are adopting).

When my son was about 3, he would constantly just whine for toys he would drop in the back seat, there were always a bunch of toys, and whenever I'd try to give him one back, he'd whine because it wasn't the right toy.... I'd always hear the whining, and finally one day I got tired of it and said "if you want me to give a toy back to you, you have to say what it is". So, he pointed and said "What it is! What it is, Dada!"

I thought I just wasn't making myself clear so I said "no, you have to say the name of it".... and of course he says "The name of it! The name of it, Dada!" When I got him to say "the name of it", my wife laughed so hard we nearly plowed into a tree. But she also had that look in her eye that wives get like I'm the stupidest man on Earth.

I like oliegirl's story better, though.

Your son sounds like he'll have a future in the S&M indsutry. ;)

Those are awesome. My youngest son is 4 and he's going to pre-K. His teacher had them fill in the blanks in the following sentences:

At my house _________ .

He filled it in with "my sister was taking a shower and my mom and dad's toilet exploded and we got rid of it."

My favorite color is _______ and it makes me feel ________.

"blue" and "angry and makes me want to use my fists"

That was an interesting visit at open house yesterday. We did cap it off with my daughter's gifted program teacher telling us that she's doing well, so at least we're one-for-two.

baby juice?

Yeah, that caught my eye too. That, and

"So how do they get the baby juice out of Leo"

Eight years from now he's going to be growling at chicks and bragging about how big his lionhood is.

I got a mental image of Cam's kiddo. He just looks like a weisenheimer.

I was driving and not expecting the question - it was the first thing I could think of!!!!

Cam's kid? You don't think I am married to Cam do you?