Move over Najah Davenport we have a new winner
 

The Digital Collegian - Published independently by students at Penn State NEWS
[ Monday, Nov. 7, 2005 ]

News in brief

Female defecates in police department

A 20-year-old Penn State student was cited after an incident at 3 a.m. Saturday in the lobby of the State College Police Department, 243 S. Allen St.

A Penn State University Police auxiliary officer found the semi-conscious, partially dressed woman after she had defecated on the floor and rolled in it, police said.

The woman told police she thought the building was her home, and she was taken to Mount Nittany Medical Center to be treated for an alcohol overdose, police said.

Janitors had to be called to clean and sanitize the area, and the doors were left open to air out the building, police said.

Police said the building's doors are always left unlocked, but the public bathrooms on the first floor are locked at night.

The woman was given citations for a minor's law violation, public drunkenness, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.


Not only did she crap on the floor, but she ROLLED in it. I have never gotten that drunk that I have lost control of my bowels. This is just too funny. :eek:

Not quite as good as Najeh, though, since his was willful, not alcohol-induced. Still, I think it's a shame that her name was withheld from the story.

She should be featured in the next Playboy Big 10 issue.

Who'd you piss off now?

hah thats great.

...because God knows I'M not cleaning up that shit!

I bet she transfers.

you guys act like it's some strange phenomenon. it actually can happen quite easily.

Which reminds me of a teaser I heard on the news this evening.

What is the worst possible job a person could have?

Apparently, there are people who consider themselves experts in toilet training. And with the instant gratification don't-fuck-with-my-leisure-time approach to parenting these days, there are plenty of parents willing to fork over the bucks to bring in one of these weirdos to teach your kid to use the toilet.

As the parent of a two-year-old, I can not imagine a worse career choice.

Mistaking a police station for your home, and then mistaking the floor for a toilet, and then mistaking shit for your pillow?

Two years old?

Good Lord, has time passed that quickly?

Exactly. I can't tell you how many times I've seen it happen.

On one of Letterman's old Top 10 lists, it was "floor swabber in a peep show booth."

Norm MacDonald said it was "Assistant Crack Whore" on Weekend Update a few years ago. :)

Come on guys, poop is fun! At home OR in jail! Surely you remember college . . . mmmm.

my cousin actually tried this with his daughter. It was like potty training boot camp and it fucked the poor girl up so badly she was so afraid to have an accident that she would and then cry about it and feel ashamed.

In all fairness, she mistook the shit for her blanket, not a pillow. Much more common mistake.