| Antmeister |
12-02-2005 05:52 PM |
WWJD (What would Jeeber do?) - JeeberD's posting secrets
After observing the way JeeberD increases his post count, I have decided to post my discoveries here.
"Dola" - This is a tried and classic method used on this board frequently. Come up with a complete thought and break up your long winded paragraph with a lot of dolas. The word Dola should be at the beginning of your post before proceeding. Jeeber has been able to use this as an artform but he still has many dirty little secrets.
Psuedo Dola - Similar to the dola, but you don't start the post with the word Dola. This is effective when you allow people to post between your psuedo dolas. That gives the illusion have given your thread more thought and felt compelled to post it.
Thread jack - There are times when you don't feel posting your own thread when you are already in one. This method allows you to post something that is barely related to the thread and break it up with a lot of psuedo dolas.
One liners (Me too, I like boobs, Where's Pumpy?, SkyDog is a dictator, etc.) - Just throw in something that has nothing to do with the thread you are reading. The masters have a notepad on their computer with a list of these and randomly select one to post in a thread.
Single word (What?, Huh?, Trout, etc.....) - Sometimes you just don't feel like writing a whole sentence so this is a really effective weapon.
"Pix pls thx!" - Any mention of a female requires this line. Only one person gets to call it, so try to post it as soon as you can. The masters can type this phrase in under a second.
Abbreviations (LOL. ROFL, OMFG, U2, etc...) - Use it for anything that may even be remotely funny. It's great for those times when you have nothing constructive to add.
Smileys ( :mad: :eek: :confused: :D , etc....) - This is a very powerful weapon when you really don't feel like typing at all. Some of the masters just go through hundreds of threads looking for one comment in which they can respond with a smiley.
Drama Fiend - Find a thread contians any level of controversy in it and try to elicit anger by attacking another poster or mod. The subject can be related or non-related material. This is a risky tactic, but you can definitely pad the post count and possibly get someone else suspended if you play your cards right.
Post a news article - Why spend all your time writing a long post when you can simply post a news arrticle. This method is best used if you quote one piece of the article at different times in a thread.
Ellipsis (...) - I don't know who started this, but there are some who practice this well guarded posting secret. To use this effectively, you have to quote somebody and you follow it up with three periods. If you are real lazy a single period will do. And some are even lazy enough not to add anything.
The Hell Atlantic - Write a post about a subject you are not really angry about, but pretend to do so out of the sake of controversy. Then insult that person's sexuality, personality, culture, and hoagie to pad that post count. Very tricky tactic and only the masters can handle it without getting banned.
[Added by RavenHawk]
Sign Up For All Interactive Dynasties - The interactive dynasty provides a wealth of opportunity for posting small quips without doing much work other than scanning the write-up for your handle, reading two sentences, then commenting and your character's pseudo prowess or lack thereof.
Create an Interactive Dynasty - Here's a tried-and-true method. By spending some time creating an interactive dynasty that updates regularly, you can chew through post count quickly. Best of all, you can continue posting without using the "Dola" trick because, dammit, it's your dynasty. Additionally, you get post count value out of creating ambiguous rules that require dynasty participants to ask questions that can often be answered with one-word answers.
[Added by Raiders Army]
"Fixed that for you!" - Quote any post that you disagree with or that you think you can make more humorous and edit it to your liking. Then follow it with this quote and you are safe.
Sign up to a Werewolf thread - It you don't want to be too obvious, you could sign up to one of these and use any of the various methods listed here to pad your post count. Plus you could also appear to be super geeky, which is most likely true.
[Added by Dodgerchick]
Quote yourself - There may be times when you feel you can add anything to someone else comments, so why not quote yourself and comment about your brilliant post.
Random pics - When you are in a threadjacking mood, but don't want to offend anyone with your comments, try a random picture. People may notice it, but they won't be offended. They may even comment on it.
Piecemeal quoting - This is when you pick one sentence out of a post to quote and you type up a reply. You do this with another sentence and repeat. Very effective and sneaky.
[Added by Shorty]
Random quoting - Similar to piecemeal quoting except you randomly select an entire post and comment on it. You then proceed to another post and repeat. Shorty's favorite weapon.
[Added by CoffeeWarlord]
Random movie quotes - Usually used by the masters of trivia, this is a very effective weapon since it is very much like a stealth threadjack. Coffee Warlord, WSUCougar and a few other movie buffs have taken this artform to new levels. Here is CoffeeWarlord description of this weapon:
"The power of the movie quote not only gives you that all powerful post, but popular movies will generate others posting quotes from that movie, which in turn allows you to retort with yet another quote."
Random movie pics - Can be used solo, but according to CoffeeWarlord:
"I must also note that Random Movie Pics used in conjunction with Random Movie Quotes is truly the mark of a master."
[Added by gottimd]
"bump" - This is a little known trade secret by the masters of posts. Go through a number of your favorite threads or theads that people refuse to respond to and use this word to bring it back to life. It may not seem like an effective weapon, but it comes in handy for those slow days. So go into those archives and bump the hell out of them.
[Added by Airhog]
Small novel mode or Chief Rumming or Combative Post Setup - This is when you do something that seems to go against the moral code of the post count master, but that is how they trick you. You simply type up a long drawn out post with semi coherent sentences and wait for a smart ass one liner reply. That is when you can consistently bash the other poster throughout the majority of the thread.
[Added by Farrah Whitworth Rahn]
Seductive posting - This is most effective when women use it (Farrah's favorite weapon), but males can sometimes use it too. Most recently Ksyrup used it with his "cleaning in the buff" posting. This is how it works. Quote somebody and reply with a post that is laced with sexual innuendo. If you are a woman, you are guaranteed to get a response about 100% of the time from any of the male FOFC'ers. If you are a guy, you have less than a 10% chance. But once that person responds, you can go through a sort of post flirtation to pad the post count. And sometimes when this happens, SkyDog gets concerned.
[Added by EasyMac]
Pumpy pics - Liven up any thread and increase your post count by adding any Pumpy pic to any thread. For some reason no one will question your logic.
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