The Video Game Tagline Challenge!
 

Me and a buddy got to joking about various movie themes, and started spouting silly video game -> movie conversions.

View the summer lineup!

One creature. Alone. Determined. No mountain too high. No predator too crafty. This summer, prepare to Ascend.... Q-Bert

This sunday. The dead will walk. And only one man can save the world from their wrath. His only weapon? Hunger. Pacman: The Movie

Christmas. The Freeway. The Lifeblood of the city. Joyrides. Commutes. Innocent and Innocuous. But for one little creature, something so mundane can become the adventure of a lifetime. Walt Disney Pictures, in conjunction with Pixar Studios, bring you a tale of struggle and the heroism of one little creature. A creature named: Frogger

6000 years ago, an epic struggle began. A cruel despot sent out a single wanderer to forge an empire. This friday, the spearmen will march, and history will be forged in blood. Civilization

So, for our own personal wednesday amusement....The Game.

Pick a popular video/computer game that is totally unsuitable for a real movie, write a little tagline/trailer voiceover for it. First person to correctly guess the game gets to come up with the next one. And so on, and so on.

10% bonus points for the most ridiculous/funny ones. There are no points awarded ever.

And to start things off...





Deep space. Lonely. Dark. Forbidding. A vessel, cut off from the fleet. A warship, designed to take on any foe. But there was one foe that the crew could not expect. Space itself. This Summer, prepare to stare face to face with Mother Nature at her most deadly. Prepare for the onslaught of...

Asteroids.

Ding!

Damn, I was gonna guess Defender.

...Paperboy!

Yep.

5000 AD. On a distant planet, mankind settles their disputes not on the battlefield, but in single combat. This is the story of a young man born into the skies of the arena, and his constant avian friend. This summer, grab your weapon, take to the skies, and prepare to...

I know. But I'll let somebody else answer.

Joust.

And somewhere in a dark corner, some hollywood flunky is taking notes about these. :)

And ding ding for the all powerful Joust.

This summer, join this cast of misfits on the hardwood. Watch the crowd pleaser, rebound king, and deadeye shooter show their stuff on the rough and tumble basketball courts. No blood or no pants, no foul. When honor is on the line and you are willing to do anything to win, you become . . .

dola, apologies in advance if I went too obscure. I just wanted to pick one of my ATF video games.

Arch Rivals?

basketbrawl

Correct!

Hot damn. I have no idea how I knew that. This must be the sort of information that stays in my head, pushing out things like friends' birthdays and the color of my wife's eyes.

In a world where the streets are controlled by vicious gangs, two brothers stand together for justice. This is a story of honor, devotion -- and of the one woman who could turn them against each other. This summer, some things are worth fighting for.

Double Dragon

They actually made a double dragon movie, though.

dola
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106761/

This thread has potential. :)

Of course.

Waiting on the really bad "Maximun Football" description

In a world of vanilla convention(show some generic pictures of madden 94)
Against all odds(Daivd "We'll feature teleportation!" Antmeister-- the game "won't work with those variables")
Sidelined by love(some random footage of jennfir and daivd fighting/loving/her punching out someone to get to the front of the McDonalds line)
And Time (show random clips of Daivd in military prison, obligatory hand on the divider window shown while talking on the prison phones)
He created (Daivd "I think i got the rogue to work" Antmeister "What about the framerate?" D-"Poppycock")
A Maximum Masterpiece(Random footage of big footed canadians changing player's uniforms quickly)

I believe this tagline would be a good starting point for Maxmium Fotoball
Unspeakable Horrors From Outer Space Paralyze The Living And Resurrect The Dead!

So are we waiting on EaglesFan? I have solid idea for one....but I'll wait for him

It's been awhile, go for it.

Contra.

Coming this summer, from Monolith Pictures:

*cue Slow Ride by Foghat* When Peter Pepper woke up, he had no idea what kind of pickle he'd find himself in. His job was his craft, and no amount of hot dogging could keep him from satisfying the most primal of hungers. Or so he thought...This August, its time...it's....

Burger Time!

Burgertime

f*ck, slow on the draw by a nano second.

John Galt is teh winnar!

A man. Alone. In the ancient jungles. He must avoid the legendary quicksand and bottomless tar pits. Unarmed, he will prevail in the face of ferocious crocodiles, deadly scorpions, and fierce rattlesnakes. On September 30, Uwe Boll brings you . . .

Pitfall

dagnabit.

Isiddiqui is right!

On a strange world... one man is on a quest to free his love from the clutches of evil. He will have to face strange and deadly creatures on his quest as he navigates castles and underground pipes. Jumping to a theater near you...

Super Mario Bros.

Correct.. and yes, I know there is a movie on it already

A bit of a stretch, but I think it fits the general idea nicely. :)

Two armies evenly matched across the board meet in an epic battle replayed throughout history. Many will be captured, a few will rise up to be crowned as Kings. In the end only one side can be victorious. This summer, prepare yourself for the experience of a lifetime, the experience of ....

LOL! I know that one, but since I'm going home soon, I'll let someone else answer.

Sounds like checkers to me!

Checkers? (I'm sure that's not right, but it seems to fit)

Battle Chess?

Gotta be battle chess, if not for that Kings should be queens minor detail.

Battle Chess was awesome.

I have one ready to go, but I'm not sure if Battle Chess is right. The trailer seems open-ended enough to include an array of similar games.

I'm pretty sure he meant checkers.

Oh well. Checkers as a video game? I should have just put that in and beat Pumpy to the punch.