TCY: Back from retirement?
 

Today the NCAA annouces a new playoff format for college football. The post season will now consist of a 24 team tournament. Teams winning the top eight conferences will receive first-round byes.

What? Did you hear that honey?

Coach, you're retired.

I know honey, but how many times have you heard me moan about bowl games? I mean, this is what I've wanted for years.

Listen, you don't possibly have the time to even consider a coaching job with your current schedule. What about your company? What about US, the kids?

Well, even if I did consider making some phone calls, I wouldn't begin thinking about coaching again without my two best friends, Ardent and Blade. Those two guys were the only reason we won any games. (laughs)

After you quit on them and Missouri? (laughs) I don't think they'd be stupid enough to join you once again on your quest for greatness. (laughs louder)

Funny, funny.. ha-ha. Well smartypants, I did do some research and it just so happens there's a new conference called the Solecismic Eight.. and I'll have you know St. Louis now has a team.

(silence)

Oh brother... just remember, you won't be able to have as much involvement as you used to.

I know, and I have no idea what's going on with Ardent or Blade or if they would even entertain the idea of coaching with me and taking on major roles with a low prestige team like St. Louis. They'll probably laugh at me and that will be the end of this talk.

(wife turns around and leaves)

Now, where is my phone book?

I leave both of them messages.

Ardent - This will be YOUR offense. I have enough to worry about with my company to run and recruiting. My time is limited and coaching St. Louis would be much less time consuming than a Big 12 team. I know I quit on you, but I'm really excited about the new playoff format.

Blade - This is YOUR defense. Like I've told Ardent, my time is limited and I think coaching in the Sol 8 would be perfect for the three of us. Less time is a good thing as we'll be able to go slower than before.

Either way guys, I will NOT do this without the both of you, period. At least give me a call to let me know how things are going for both of you. Like I said, I can't believe I'm doing this, but you only live once.

Take care and tell your families hello for me.

I called a buddy of mine and he told me St. Louis has not yet found a head coach, but are definitly looking.

Word.

Not to threadjack, but I set up a printer and go to Print in TCY... then when I search for the file, it's nowhere to be found on my computer. :(

Doh. :(

You dont even have to ask me buddy...im always by your side.

Mine defaults to the desktop.

So you select print, type and name and then search for that name? The printer you are using is generic/text only?

Well Honey.. :)

Oh great! Good luck coach!

I submit my credentials to the AD at St. Louis and in a little over 8 hours I hear the news.

Official press release:

Today, we are proud to announce the new St. Louis head coach, Todd Volmert and his staff. We hope to provide our fans with an exciting brand of football as we believe we've picked a coach who exemplifies winning and sportsmanship.

I look at the printout that sits on my desk and see we are ranked dead last at #125 for the inaugural season in the Sol 8. Should be nothing but uphill from here on out.

Coaches, there is a lot to do before the season starts and for now I'll give you both something to sleep on, the roster for the 2004 season.

You both know the drill. I want to show the AD who he's just signed to control the football team.

We need to know who to redshirt, who to start, who to cut. What offense and defense to run, etc.. I don't need to tell you what you already know how to do. I have some work of my own to do, so get back to me as soon as you can.

Thanks gentlemen! I look foward into building this team into a Sol 8 Champion!!

I press Print and the Print Screen comes up

Name: DeltaSig
Status: Ready
Type: Generic/Text Only
Where: FILE:

I click okay and a box pops up that says Print to File and asks for an output file name.

I type in one and click okay.

Go and do a search for it... Nothing.

1.txt maybe?

M E M O R A N D U M

TO: SLU AD
FROM: SLU OC

SUBJ: SCHEDULING

1. DO NOT SCHEDULE ANY TEAM RANKED IN THE TOP 50.

2. BEST REGARDS.

3. SLU OC

NNN

M E M O R A N D U M

TO: SLU DC
FROM: SLU OC

SUBJ: SCHEDULING

1. DO NOT EMBARASS MY OFFENSE DURING THE SPRING GAME. WE CERTAINLY WILL NOT EMBARASS YOUR DEFENSE.

2. BEST REGARDS.

3. SLU OC

NNN

Check under c:\desktops and settings\(your user name).

Nope, not there either.

Sorry about that. Next time, though, add the directory and/or folder that you want the file to go to the file name. Example:

c:\TCYfiles\wk4boxscore.txt

That always does the trick for me.

By the way, nice to see another TCY dynasty up!

That's your problem. After you hit print, click the drop down and select Generic/Text as your printer, NOT DeltaSig. If you can't do that, then you set it up wrong. Add a printer and for the printer select Generic, the on the right side select generic/text.

Thanks Coach!

I usually let my coaches handle the gameplan, but I'll intervene somewhat.

Next question then, thinking of the future of this team.. I guess recruiting is wide open? We need just about every position. :)

btw, we open against #6 Georgia. Our stadium holds 28,000 and the AD has told me they sold a whopping 1100 tickets. St. Louis welcomes college football. :o

It worked after I didn't name the printer anything and just left it as the default Generic/Text.

Thanks. :D

Outlook:Tony is our best player on the whole team right now. Hes also a junior, and will quite a weapon for us over the next 2 seasons. Thats where the good news ends. Hadley is the best of a bad bunch, but stuart is on his tail. Latimer will be counted on to develop quite a bit this offseason, but it doesnt look promising. Our pass rush will fall heavily onto castilo's shoulders. All 4 but castillo have been redshirted too, so we pretty much just praying tony doesnt get hurt.

Recruiting Need: Whatever we can get. We graduate 3 of the 5, but the other 2 staying withtony are terrible walk-ons. At least 1 should be required, but as you will see at every position, we need whatever we can get.

Outlook: DE makes this group looks like little girls. Rivera is the starter, but basically this position can be summed up as i pray every team we play likes to pass the ball. This might indicate a need for a 3-4, but we have to check out the LB talent first.

Courtney Raymond deserves his own line...he is a 0-0...it takes real skill to be THAT bad. Bravo courtney

Recruiting Need: We dont need bodies like DE, but we need talent worse here then DE. This is a major weakpoint for us.

Outlook: Its like seeing DT all over again...this is going to be a very long season im thinking. Grant obviously starts, and we let the other platoon behind in in the 4-3 we have to run now. Yamada will most likely redshit.

Recruiting Outlook: Just 1 kid, but like everywhere anyone going to be an upgrade over this sorry bunch.
Outlook: Finally, another player who can play. Thrasher will be counted on to live up to his namesake. Tito will start as well, and im starting to hope other teams dont even have offenses or were screwed.

Recruiting Need:Were far more set here then other positions. Williamson has future and burns can be average. Will prob. need 1 body, but not desperate.

Outlook: Well, Rose will start for better or worse. And i think whitfield should pair with him as we hope he develops over his senior season. Woodson is a better back-up then we have at some other positions, though the future looks grim here.

Recruiting Need:We need 2 prob. as the only two talented ones graduate. More pressing need for sure here then some others, though DT should still be priority #1
Outlook: Martin starts, as well as spann. This position is by far our best looking. We have 3 young players with potential to be solid starters for us. I guess the AD decided to let me see the best last, and im happy to go off on such a note. This will be a key for the team in years to come.

Recruiting Need:We need 1 body, but not a pressing need. We are far mroe set here then anywhere else. This is the one position im happy with. Those youngsters look really good.


Team Outlook: 4-3 is the most fitting with our lack of depth at ILB. We might consider putting castillo and thrasher on opposite sides of the field to balance out our talent. If you want to stack them both on the strongside for example, that might work as well, but id reccoment splitting them up. Our secondary, for now, is a little weak, but not terrible like DE and ILB. Our middle is just terrible, and most of the damage done to our D should come right up the middle. We need help at those 2 positions badly.

Redshirts: Other players could be red-shirted, but i dont see a need to keep around some of them longer. I expect our recruits to out-class these "studs" soon enough, so this group should be good enough for now. Burns is only to be red-shirted if we can red-shirt more OLBs after williamson.

Thanks D Coach!!

Outstanding from the both of you and it's time for me to start earning my money. I'll setup everything, make the necessary changes per your posts and get this team ready for practice.

From there, TCY helper will give me some guidance on time allotments and I believe our AD has this year's schedule printed up.

I'm a little disappointed in the ticket sales, but I would think everything from this point on can only get better.

See you both at practice!

The 2004 Schedule has arrived:

I think a 5-6 season would be pretty good for us..im expecting more along the lines of a 3-8 season though.

Here is what is predicted in this conference:

1. Kansas City
2. Joplin
3. Springfield
4. Independence
5. Cape Girardeau
6. St. Joseph
7. Jefferson City
8. St. Louis

Please reference my memo.

Thanks.









:)

Preseason Top 25

I'm with you. We'll lost to whom we are supposed to, and sneak about 3 wins in our conference.

I predict 3-8 as well.

The 2004 St. Louis Billikens

BOLD denotes starters

Week 1
BYE

Recruiting
C Juan Winters (St. Louis, Mo.)
H: 6-1
W: 259
State Rank: 63
Overall impression is 43/100, but he is slightly worse than scouted.

OLB Rodney Rogers (Pacific, Mo.)
H: 5-10
W: 191
State Rank: 48
Overall impression is 43/100 and he is better than scouted.


* I will only list those who have been offered a scholarship.

Week 2
St. Louis (0-0) at #6 Georgia (0-0) (-20)
Weather: 64, rain

This should be quite an entertaining game.. for Georgia.

Recruiting
No new offers

St. Louis - 0 (0-1)
#6 Georgia - 87 (1-0)

#6 Georgia welcomes us into the NCAA with the worst loss I've ever experienced in TCY. We did stop them on their first drive! They had 92,100 fans at the game. That's 91,000 more than we sold season tickets.


I thought I had our gameplan set to NOT pass the ball 20 times, but I need to talk to our game calling OC.

St. Louis Statistics

Week 3 Top 25

Forgot Sol 8 scores from Week 2:

Illinois 77, Springfield 0
Kansas State 69, Independence 0
Nebraska 76, Kansas City 0
Hawaii 38, Joplin 28
Western Michigan 59, Cape Girardeau 29
St. Joseph 21, Louisiana-Lafayette 20
Connecticut 37, Jefferson City 6


I don't feel so bad now, but we still got smoked.

Week 3
St. Louis (0-1) at North Texas (0-1) (-7)
Weather: 76, sunny

Injuries
None

Recruiting
QB J.T. McWilliams (Calhoun, GA)
H: 6-3
W: 185
State rank: 35
Overall impression 56/100 and he is better than scouted.

DT Archie Ah Yat (Kelseyville, CA)
H: 6-4
W: 267
Overall impression is 58/100 and he is better than scouted.

DT George Vang (Crozet, VA)
H: 6-3
W: 258
Overall impression is 54/100 and he is better than scouted.

P Mercury Graveson (San Francisco, CA)
H: 6-0
W: 180
Overall impression is 79/100.


* no commitments yet

St. Louis - 26 (1-1)
North Texas - 16 (0-2)

I'm really impressed with this win, and it's a road win nonetheless. They say you never forget your first W as a coach, and this one won't be any different. Good job coaches!

Great game on both sides of the ball today men!

St. Louis Statistics

Sol 8 Division Scores

Minnesota 55, Cape Girardeau 10
Memphis 20, Kansas City 17
Texas-El Paso 23, Springfield 20
Kent 41, St. Joseph 24
Northern Illinois 43, Joplin 10
Independence 24, Navy 21

Sol 8 Standings

Week 4 Top 25

BOOM BABY!!! HELL YES!!!

Though i cant figure out why poland was MVP, ill take it! Good job boys!

Well, I've talked with you offline already, but I need to go on the record as to we're throwing too much. This is the NTO. We're not very talented on offense. I don't know how we are on defense because I worry too much about the offense.

I do know that if we run the ball 3 times and punt, we eat up nearly 2 minutes of the clock. An incomplete pass stops the clock. An interception is the worst thing imagineable. We're not talented offensively. We can't put the defense in situations that are bad for the team. Interceptions do that. How do we stop interceptions and incomplete passes? We don't throw the ball.

Recruiting: Don't RECRUIT A QB!!! Stop that right now. Likewise, don't recruit receivers. Recruit run blocking linemen and run blocking tight ends. You recruit a quarterback and he won't learn to pass from me. He's going to learn the chop block and the lead block. He'll be on the sled with the rest of the team. Basically, right now our quarterback only needs to breathe and lob the ball on a corner route to the tight end. 5 times a game, max.

Receivers? We don't need receivers. Receivers are wimps who refuse steroids, anyways.Use our recruiting budget on backs and linemen. I include tight ends with our linement, just like ol' Don Warren.

Recruit for the defense first.

Defense wins championships. I'm trying to not lose the game for us.Give me some big ol' country boys on the line and someone who wants the rock 30 times. That's all I want.Glad we got that first win. Hopefully we impressed some recruits.

I still want someone who is smart at QB. ;)

Poland had 6 key run blocks baby!!

Recruit a kid with a 4.0 GPA, then. Pitch the ball, hand the ball off, and block.

By the way, I don't want the option run in our offense.

Week 4

Central Michigan (0-2) at St. Louis (1-1) (-3)
Weather: 56, rain

Injuries
Recruting

RB Nicky Sanders (El Dorado Hills, CA)
H: 5-8
W: 191
Overall impression is 29/100 but he is better than scouted.

T Donnie Boyette (Eastham, MA)
H: 6-7
W: 289
State Rank: 45
Overall impression is 45/100.

CB Carlton McMurty (Carrollton, TX)
H: 5-10
W: 172
Overall impression is 54/100.

S Herman Harness (Mount Holly, NJ)
H: 5-9
W: 165
State Rank: 64
Overall impression is 51/100 and he is better than scouted.

Commitments to date

None

Very nice so far. Go St. Louis! Go Cape Girardeau, too! (I spent a week at SE Mo. St. on a college exchange once.)

Bonus points to you herman, for knowing that. :)

Coach, I've come up with a new play that we can use whenever we're down by 42 again.

I call it the "we won't lose by more than 49" play.

Here's what I need to make it work, besides your cooperation.

First, we'll try to get as many first downs as we can, but to ensure we don't fumble, we'll only run quarterback sneaks.

On fourth down is where my new play will come into effect.

We'll line up in a tight, really tight punt formation. We'll run the clock down as far as we can. We snap the ball to our fastest player, who is back there acting like our punter. Our fastest man takes the ball and runs to our endzone and waits.

Everyone else will tackle an opponent. This is critical. We must not let any of their players get to our fastest guy. We must tackle, tackle, tackle. Hold that man down. Don't let him get up. Don't let him get to our man with the ball.

Imagine how much time we can take off the clock like that!

I know, we can't hope to keep them on the ground forever. I understand that. When they get near our guy, he can run to the other side of the endzone, and then take a safety.

What if they call holding or some other lame penalty? Well, the other team will probably decline it, since they're getting the ball anyway and 2 points.

Let's say, for grins, they accept the penalty. Sweet. Run the ""we won't lose by more than 49" play again. I'd say we can't lose, but in reality, if we're running this play, we're already losing.

I bet we won't allow 80 points again with this sound strategy. What do you think?