Damn dogs
 

So I spent Thanksgiving at my parents house. Had sex with the wife there, used protection.

Later I find out the damn dog DIGS the condom out of the garbage can and trots it all around the house.

Jeeze.

uh. thats fucked up.

fixed.

Could have been worse..........could have been the in laws.

LMAO.

That oughta be in a movie or something.

i'll echo the "could have been worse" part of it.

also...how long have you been married?

That makes me want to vomit.

Could have been worse...you could have still had the condom on when they grabbed it.

if i was a nasty person, i woulda said "that'll teach ya to ditch the condoms and just splooge in her face as a cheap and fun contraception alternative".


but i'm not a nasty person. *sigh*

This thread is in Hell Atlantic's wheelhouse.

ROFL

Seriously, aren't dogs disgusting?

Should I use the Withdrawal Method instead? What if I stained my parent's sheets or walls?

Hah. Guess you didn't have a lot of experience with hiding condoms as a teenager, eh? ;) I learned that it is a good idea to always have some other colored bag to put a used condom in before putting it in the trash...

Not that I am too proud of that, since I have a daughter now. :eek: At least I am wise to a few more tricks, I suppose.

Birth control is your friend.

Further proof condoms are evil. :)

You feel bad, how about the dog? He's walking around with your used condom in his mouth.

How powerful do you want us to assume you are? :D

Should I have not used orange flavored? Maybe next time use regular? I'm surprised the dog likes orange.

Using a trasch can is a mistake - it's always a mistake. The toilet is the only option.

That thing will clog up the toilet. Bad idea.

Not if done properly. Years of experience.

Wrap in TP then flush away....

Of couse if you have a septic tank, it will be humorous if they have to clean it out

This thread needs stickied on the front page. :)

Put her on the pill.

Oh yeah, was it ribbed for her pleasure?

Yes. Yes.

I'm still fascinated by the concern of hitting the wall.

It was, but he wore it inside-out. He's selfish that way.

You're married, but still have to wear a condom?

Some women don't tolerate any of the various formulations of the pill/patch/injection well. Fortunately, usually some formulation will work well for most women.

And there are some women who are also allergic to the proteins in semen.

He must have known there was a bone in there.

Wife has a pretty bad reaction to pills. I really hate condoms, though. Especially when the damn dog is gobbling on my nut.

Okay, I'm generally okay with the "vague subject line to FOFC threads" but this was one that really needed a "DOG IS RUNNING AROUND WITH MY USED CONDOM" title. It took me 2 days to read this accidentally.

Edit after reading Crim's post: This is a plea for change based on how I would've liked to have read this thread 2 days ago :).

Edit #2: I'll take klayman.

I, on the other hand, am rejoicing that I finally clicked on this thread. lighthousekeeper is the early frontrunner in this one, I'm thinking.

The Ladies Man has a suggestion.

Maybe you need to incorporate the dog into your love making.

Totally agree. If you fuck your dog in the ass I bet it will NEVER EVER embarrass you like that again.

You have to show 'em who's boss!

Oh...Ladies Man

Nevermind...

:D

Either way the dog ends up getting screwed!

/won't somebody please think of the dogs

The Aristocrats!

I am strangely fascinated by this thread.

I want to change the title of this thread, but I have not the powers.

So I will post a picture of the culprit in action instead:

oh god

You might've went too far this time.

Is he available for parties?