'Epic' Sentences
 

So as the boyfriend of an English teacher, I get to hear some pretty amazing 'out takes' of Freshman and Sophomore essays. My all-time favorite is still
Recently, they have been going over Epic Heroes, and I've had the pleasure of listening to the following gems:


Simply amazing.

You're the boyfriend of an English teacher?

I was a boyfriend of a Spanish teacher who was also an aerobics instructor. That was a fun four months!

OH YER JUST SO SMART PICKIN ON THE YUNG KIDS

ding ding here comes the shitmobile F

how did your girlfriend get all of my essays?

Actually, I find the everlasting love line pretty funny. Guess it depends on the context.

("Sadly, Kevin and Brittney's everlasting love did not last forever.")

Sigh. I was until this evening.

Oh yes, I find ALL of these quite funny. Mostly because I can totally see where these kids were coming from with them. The everlasting love one is great mostly because it can work with a bit of sarcasm...but you have to know that at the level my ex-girlfriend teaches (specifically because of the school she is at, and the challenging background most of her students have had), sarcasm is WAY above all but the most gifted of her students, and this was definitely not one of them.

Sorry to hear about your break up, Vince. :(

Ouch :(

Back in grade school (not sure which grade) I was feeling particularly lazy which led to the following example on using our spelling words in a sentence.

Use "refrigerator" in a sentence.

This is a sentence with the word refrigerator in it.

Imagine 30 sentences in the same format. Needless to say, my teacher was not impressed.

I'd bet that the kid that wrote -

'1. An epic hero is a man who fills out his epic hero criteria.'

plays World of Warcraft...

Was a nerve touched here? ;)

leave him alone, the kid's on Spring break and trying to boost his post average. :D

FM

As the husband of a computer science professor, I get stories like:

A girl tried to write some code to computer the average of a set of numbers. None of the numbers were greater than 12. When she executed her code, she got an average of 13.

I don't get it :(

I dare you to create a set of numbers, none greater than 12, and compute their average to be 13.

A quality UCLA education there. ;)

Now, see, didn't I warn you about those dangling modifiers?

Sorry to hear it, bud.

I still go back and look at that when I need a good laugh.

I could do that if I didn't have to use the same base.. :)

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Maybe his girlfriend lost her job.

No, it was the correct conclusion to jump to. It's for thebest, though, and I'm actually quite a bit happier today than I have been in the last few weeks, I think, so it's a good thing.

But this thread isn't supposed to be about my love life, it's supposed to be about retarded high schoolers :)

No, it was the correct conclusion to jump to. It's for the best, though, and I'm actually quite a bit happier today than I have been in the last few weeks, I think, so it's a good thing.

But this thread isn't supposed to be about my love life, it's supposed to be about retarded high schoolers :)

See if you can trade up to a spanish teacher/aerobics instructor.


¡Amor Caliente!

Now, I feel even worse about Boatman. Sorry about both bits of bad news :(