WVUFAN takes a 5 pound crap
 

It'll need its own thread in about 8-12 hours.

Threads like this are what keeps my girlfriend from joining the board. Good work, sir.

Let's focus on the present, shall we? :)

One time when I was little and we were getting ready for church, I was in the bathroom for a long time, it eventually took a stick to get the thing to flush. On the way to church my mom remarked how the thing must of been 5 pounds. That innocuous wording screwed me up for a good 5-6 years as I would measure my weight based on the size of my poops, "that one looks like a 3 pounder at best, I better load up on some corn in the coming weeks if I wanna make pee wee football this year".

That story is quite disturbing. You know that if the pile is coming out of the water, you should've flushed halfway through right?

I was a kid, I didn't know nothin. I always took big poops cause for some reason I had an aversion to going to the bathroom so I would store it way too long.

This is a very .. very disturbing thread.

What happened to the stick?

I dunno, probably thrown back out back or something. Maybe the neighbors yard.

Even more disturbing is that this might have been the most successful thread I've ever started. :(

I always make sure I weigh myself before and after dropping the big "holiday" level poops.

I'm cryin over here. F'n cryin. Thank you.:D :D :D

First time my wife caught me doing that, she was so disgusted she announced it to her family while I was still in mid-deed. I heard her dad guffawing about it while the neck of the turd was still rounding the corner of my large intestine. I honestly think she was trying to shame some class into me, but it didn't seem to take.

Pepto-Bismol is made by a bunch of liars. It says right on the bottle "For Diarrhea". I drank a whole bottle at once before, and I never got diarrhea. But I did poop an enormous brick about 8 days later.

You go ahead and get into your "happy place". We'll all be over here laughing at your eventual plight. :p

Most disturbing thing so far...i saw flere was the last post before me, and I am really upset this thread didn't have a flere paint-diagram.

Turds have necks? I must've missed the chance to take Turd Anatomy in high school.

So in theory, I could choke a turd.

I really think the board could have survived without this thread.

That which does not kill you makes you stronger.

But that which kills you, kills you.

I was thinking I'd let it grow to five pages and then try to flush it with a stick.

Never heard of a turdle neck sweater?

Please tell me you have plenty of Air Wick on hand?

Your house didn't have a designated "turd stick"? Must be an Oklahoma thing.