This Must Be An Explanation For Something
 

NICKELBACK Frontman's Stunning Admission: "I Put My Own D**k In My Mouth' - Mar. 12, 2008

The Pulse of Radio reports that NICKELBACK frontman Chad Kroeger makes some startling revelations about himself in a new interview with Playboy magazine. The singer and guitarist admits that he had a lengthy career as a thief during his junior high and high school years in his Canadian hometown of Hanna, Alberta, admitting, "I broke into my junior high school about 11 times and found the combination to this walk-in safe. God, it was like my personal ATM." Kroeger also admits that he stole a small truck and spent some time in juvenile hall, adding, "I just thought it was fun to be bad."

Kroeger also cops to shoplifting, fighting, driving drunk and dealing drugs, but perhaps his most stunning admission is what he did once for a case of beer. Kroeger explained, "I put my own d*** in my mouth. I was 14 and much more flexible at the time. It was soft and required a lot of pulling. I really wanted that case of beer."

Kroeger is currently facing a drunk driving charge stemming from an incident on June 22, 2006, when British Columbia police stopped him for speeding and charged him with impaired driving. A recent attempt by his attorney to have the case thrown out because of an alleged unlawful search by the police was denied by the judge.

NICKELBACK is currently in "discussions" with its label over renegotiating its contract for substantially more money. Although the band has three albums left on its current deal, Kroeger told Playboy that his leverage is "not to record."

The band is expected to begin work on its next album later this year after a September series of arena shows in the UK.

That's the record company's leverage!

I hope he holds out for a long long time until he gets a good deal. Stay strong Chad, even if it takes you 10 more years to put out your next collection of vile shit.

I like the fact that he goes out of his way to tell us his dick was "soft" when he did it.

Dude, you sucked your own dick. Do you want props for not getting an erection while you did it?

for two cases he'll do you in da butt

I don't get the extreme hatred for this band.

yes this guy is a completely worthless piece of donkey shit

yes the music in general is bland and pretty forgetful

So is 99% of music today?

Why do these guys get so utterly thrashed on every board, interview, story, ANYTHING that I see? Can someone clarify?

exhibit 1: he sucked his own dick

Heh.

I just thought the story was funny as hell.

But to your broader question, isn't this the Barry Bonds Effect? You take the most successful person at doing something particular that you don't like, and you trash the hell out of them. The same could be said about steroids - where's the outrage over Mike Cameron?

I think Hurst2112 has posted that he was involved in one of their album recordings and found them to be pretty nice. I have nothing personal against them. And in fact, as little as I listen to the radio, I pretty much avoid hearing their music. It's just that when I do, and I can sing along to a new song with the chorus of the only song of theirs I really know - and I've done this at least 3 times that I can recall with specific, new songs - it irritates me. And because they are so successful, they get the brunt of the shit that could be piled on other, less successful bands who do the same thing.

I don't begrudge them for making millions of dollars writing music people obviously like. I'm just not a fan of how they do it. And admitting you sucked your own dick just paints another few rings on the bulls-eye, doesn't it?

Hahaha. That made me chortle.

Do they really get trashed more than anyone else? I mean, I figure the Britneys and the boy bands get as much trash. And in this genre, Creed is probably more universally hated than Nickelback.

I keep waiting for them to have their "Rock Me Tonight" moment.

"Like a paperback novel..."

This is how you remind me of a shitty band

For me, its not so much the band, but the people that listen to the band that bother me.. Not saying it is true for everyone, but typically the only people I see who like Nickleback have questionable music tastes in my opinion anyway. These are the types that like stupid movies too, like the later additions to the American Pie series for instance (I have shit better movies than these)

So for me, though it is not indicative of the overall personality of everyone that listens to Nickleback, those who I do know that listen to the band are generally annoying to me and have a tendency to lack much in the way of logic.. It could just be where I live, but the reason I dislike the band so much is that their formulaic cookie cutter pop rock is considered to be of high quality by a majority of people I think are literally missing a little something upstairs. The type of dumbasses who enjoy doing a lot of the same things Mr. Kroeger does.

LOLZ

If it's any consolation, it sounds like this guy likes Clerks more than American Pie, anyway.

I thought the AP:Naked Mile was stupid, but it had a high density of tits to minutes. Let's face it, exposed young supple breasts are becoming rarer and rarer in all but pr0n these days.

Nickelback is also known as the Canadian Creed.

I think the negative feedback, at least before discovering the singer blows his own horn, is that these two bands sell themselves as these big rockers but they seem kind of poofy.

I personally don't think Nickelback is all that terrible. I don't really like their frou-frou stuff, and they are notoriously repetitive in their songwriting, but they've got some strong guitarists and their more uptempo stuff can be pretty good.

I'll be stopping by Home Depot on the way home from work tonight. Would you like me to pick up a ladder to help you get down off that horse?

Yes, because notorious rockers Poison, Motley Crue, Cinderella and Faster Pussycat (from our generation) were *so* not-poofy. :)

(Not criticizing your point at all, DD, because I completely agree. Just can't help chuckling to myself about how non-conscious we were about this sort of thing back in our day.)

Probably doesn't want to come down. I know I don't. It is a nice view up here.

GIDDYUP

haha, pumpy likes nickelback and self dick suckers

See, I completely disagree with this, because the fact of the matter is, there are just some people who whom music just isn't that big a deal. I don't see that as a personal failing, it's just their likes/dislikes and personal preference. And for them, the "artistic quality" of music is irrelevant - if they like it for whatever reason, it could be high art and it could be radio fodder. But it seems to me that most people just want music as background listening, or for dancing, or parties, or whatever.

And that's fine. For me, that's not how I approach music at all. Here's the extent to which I "listen" to music - when I'm in the car with my family, and my wife wants to discuss something, I don't just turn down the sound, I stop the CD completely, so I can pick back up where I was before my wife started talking. Or if the kids are making too much noise, or they're watching a movie and I can't listen to my music like I want to, I'll just turn it off and listen to ESPN Radio or something. I totally get that I am in a very small minority.

That point is driven home even more for me because with movies, I'm just the opposite. I hard ever watch movies anymore, but even when I do, I only like watching comedies, and usually stupid ones at that. I'm the movie-equivalent to a Nickleback listener. Movies and acting in general just don't mean shit to me, and I don't care if some movie has great acting (couldn't tell it if you pointed it out to me) or is written incredibly well, I just don't care. I just want veg-style entertainment from movies (and TV, as well, which explains why I watch so much reality TV).

So that's why, as someone who cares deeply about music as an artistic expression, I will generally take shots at certain artists. But hey, whatever makes you money, do it. Just don't expect me to think it's good music.

Jesus, if I could slob my own knob I'd never leave home and you guys are ragging on him!

I might have felt that way at 14, but once I developed the ability to attract (or convince) someone to do it for me, I kinda stopped thinking like that. And I can't say I ever tried, either.

I presume you'd swallow?

now wait i never said that

Because Creed isn't together anymore

Didn't Marilyn Manson have ribs removed so he could do this?

hxxp://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.asp

hxxp://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.asp

There's a section about Manson, although the article is about Cher.

Beat me to it!

Was that before or after he was on The Wonder Years?

Don't fuck with Poison and Faster Pussycat or the shit will hit the fan.

Wait...as long as you're not talkin trash about Skid Row we're okay.

Not fucking with them at all. Those are some of my favorite bands of all time. (And speaking of Skid Row, you'd do well to pick up Sebastian Bach's latest solo effort "Angel Down", but I digress...)

But looking back, you realize that if the guys from Poison circa-1987 or 1988 walked into a bar now with their full-on, kick-ass hair metal gear on, it wouldn't be a chick they'd be leaving with, right? That's like the ultimate definition of "poofy" in my book.

And for the record, I'm listening to my "Best of Poison" CD right now.

I know what I wrote there makes me come off as holier than thou, but that was not my intention. I was simply trying to explain my personal reason for not liking Nickleback. If you lived in a town like I do, where I could honestly say it probably doubles as a Jerry Springer farm team, you might have the same outlook. We're talking about literal inbred idiots. I don't call them that to be derogatory, thats just what many of the people around here actually are. And Nickleback just happens to play like a soundtrack around here. I hope thats a better explanation- I guess I can't apologize for the way I feel though. Thats just how it is. EMMV.

Apparently you've never heard of Metal Skool.

I agree with a lot of this- The only difference is I am talking about people who are all about Nickleback. Like megafans. They think Nickleback is the best thing ever. Where I live, and I really have only witnessed this here, it is seriously depressing to me in this day and age. I honestly think the populace in this general area consists of 70% closet white supremist extreme christian hypocrites who preach loud but sin louder, 25% relatively normal people of varying styles and cultures, and 5% batshit crazy hill dwellers. Thats all I am saying. A vast majority of the people I associate as being major fans of the band fall into the 70% category. I have my faults just like any other person, and its not really a knock on the band themselves, just that they carry a negative connotation in my mind based on what I associate them with.

Nasty.

True. The one and only saving grace of any of the recent AP outings has to be the 1/1 ratio of boob flashing scenes to non boob flashing scenes.

Is it bad if I sing cookie-cutter "rock" music and suck someone else's dick?

As long as it's a talented and cool rocker's dick.

Ummm... well, what if the guy isn't exactly a "cool rocker"? What if he writes parody songs and posts them on message boards...?

Just don't sing sucky music while using the cookie-cutter on someone else's dick.

You mean like Lita Ford?

Link?

i have been meaning to pick that up. i heard some of it on youtube, particularly the stuff with Axl and it's quality.

Oh of course they wouldn't leave with chicks. Any of them. Wasp, Slaughter, Twisted Sister (well that's a special case, but still) and all the rest too

I'm definitely a "here and now" kinda guy, because with a few exceptions, I have a hard time going back to the music I listened to in high school/college and liking any of it. And I was all over the hard rock scene back then - you throw out Poison, Cinderella, Faster Pussycat, etc., and I'll up the ante with Roxx Gang, Sleez Beez, Jet Red, and Silent Rage - but damn if that doesn't seem like a distant memory, and not a fond one.

Most of the 80s music I listened to back then is the equivalent to the clothes my parents used to wear in the 70s. Lucky for me, music formats have changed so many times I no longer have a closet full of embarrassment waiting to be discovered.

And I have just the opposite reaction to it, only a few of them really make me cringe a bit now.

And, even better (for me) a lot of them are recording again, including Dokken's new project (sans Lynch unfortunately) which might really be the closest thing they've done to their early work since then ... and that's a good thing.