So, some chicks think I'm pretty hot
 

So, like...I get laid quite a bit. I mean, I'm not a manwhore or anything, but let's just say that I don't consider a night a success unless I've nailed a blonde, a brunette, and redhead (not at the same time....usually).

I recently had penis enlargement surgery, and last time I was at the dentist, he grabbed a handful of shaft and said "Hey, sonny..you've got quite a cock there. You should really start wearing wranglers so that the 1 or 2 girls that don't already find you gorgeous have another reason to bang you!"

So, I go to the piggly wiggly, and this supermodel is working the register. I know she's a supermodel because she's hot. I guess I'd rank her on the low end of supermodels, but I had 15 minutes to spare, so I was like, "why not give her the best moment of her lifetime. A boning. By me."

I mean, I'm really hot. I get this. I would probably have sex with myself. I'm not some kinda faggy homo queer, though. I hear they like to drink semen from spoons. Fags.

Anyway back to how hot I am. I went to Thanksgiving dinner last year wearing nothing but a banana hammock, tanning oil, and I was carrying a sparkler in each hand. All of the women present started furiously masturbating. I passed by a full length mirror on the way to the dinner, table, and I couldn't help but rub a quick one out to myself. I mean, I'm only human, right? Actually, no. I'm not human. I am an Earthbound sex God.

Women flock to me like a queer on cock buffet night.

Quit stealing my inner monologues for yourself.

epic fail imo

Sounds like someone's mad because I won't have sex with him.

To be fair to Karl, trying to make a parody of an already lame thread isn't easy.

I don't believe anybody actually asked him to, though.

I think this is better than the original

No. Better would have been: So, some trannies think I'm hot stuff.

dola: Also it would have been better had it been started by, say, Franklin Noble.

Agreed.

A blank thread would be better than the original.

Terry B.?

BtW I vote for this 1

Karl - A better story is how you cheated on your girlfriend and got chylmedia and then gave it to her.

Karl- Even better would if you told us how you tapped Vern Troyer on a drunken and cocaine fueled sex spree

Aw, geez...I'm never gonna live that down, am I? Well, at least it wasn't AIDS.....I think.

Yup, at least Karlifornia's responses are 1 sentence and easy to read.

Ow.

So that's the secret.

They are captivating.

I'm still waiting for this thread.

me too :(