Math with Chad Ocho Cinco! Arrests = Wins!
 

Bengals receiver Chad Johnson/Ochocino/Ocho Cinco is having a quiet year, both on the field and off it. So, in an apparent effort to kick-start his performance between the lines, Johnson/Ochocinco/Ocho Cinco is contemplating the consumption of some alcohol, perhaps followed by driving a car and/or beating someone up.

“You remember our ‘05 season right? Our ‘05 season we were unbelievable,” Johnson/Ochocino/Ocho Cinco said Wednesday, via our friends at The Sporting Blog. “Our ‘05 season is the year everybody went to jail and got arrested. That year everybody got in trouble. So maybe the bad was a good thing. I t sounds dumb to say, but look at it. We have cleaned house and nobody is getting in trouble anymore, no DUIs, no arrests, now we’re getting our ass whopped. Maybe I don’t know, maybe I should go out have a drink, get in trouble. Our ‘05 was one of the best years here in history. It was one of those years where there was a lot of distractions.”

What. Is this real. Please let it be.

Ocho Drinko

SportingNews.com - The Sporting Blog - Ocho Cinco to Have Cinco Tequilas, Por Favor

Wow, it is real.

*shakes head*

*cackles* bout time chad opened his mouth.

Strangely I just don't feel as bad about being a Lions fan.

A bye week will do that for you.

My only hope now is we don't go on a win streak or something absurd like that just to make sure this entire front office and staff are nuked.

That's awesome.

The only thing that would make this better is if it is announced that Matt Millen will be the new GM of Cincy tomorrow. You really can't top this.

If I got to laugh every day as hard as I laughed at this truth, I would have a hard, flat abdomen faster than Tatum Bell can steal your underwear.

Hey Chad, attempted suicide is a crime... just sayin...

:D

I love Ocho Cinco, the guy is great.

Chad wasn't done today apparently:


Early in the 2008 offseason, Bengals receiver Chad Johnson embarked on an attempt to be traded to any other NFL team (and also the Raiders). He made it clear that he wants out of Cincinnati, and then he later made it clear that he never wanted to leave.

With the Bengals mired in an 0-4 funk and facing one of the best teams in the league at Dallas on Sunday, Johnson seems to be renewing his effort to leave Ohio.

“I tried,” Johnson said during a Wednesday conference call with reporters. “I talked to 81 almost every day, man. I love 81. We talk all the time. That would’ve been a circus.

“Let me tell you, I don’t mean to be funny . . . . I’m not tried to be rude or piss anybody off, but if I was in Dallas, they would have to change all of our damn games to pay-per-view because you need to pay to see that [bleep]. I’m serious. I’m so serious. They would have to put all the games on pay-per-view. Because you can’t just watch a show like that for free; 81 and 85? Come on, now. Please.”

And Johnson then made it pretty clear that he’s still interested in making it happen.

“Tell Jerry Jones I said hello, and give me a call some time,” Johnson said at the end of the conference call.

The Bengals reportedly told Johnson once he re-embraced the team that, if he behaves for all of the 2008 season, they might look into giving him a new deal next year. It’s pretty safe to say that his new deal is now in jeopardy.

Awesome again.

:rolleyes: but I am sure his attitude hasn't done anything to keep the team from winning

I heart Chad.

What a jackass.