Book Titles if They Were Written Today
 

Saw this featured at Andrew Sullivan and thought we could do just as good a job.


Your titles?

Then: Hamlet
Now: Melancholy and Me, A Cautionary Tale

Then: Oedipus Rex
Now: I F#$%ed My Mom?

Then: The Communist Manifesto
Now: Hot, Flat, Crowded, and Total Bullshit: How Capitalism Is Destroying The World (foreword by Michael Moore)

YAY!!! POLITICS!

Then: Paradise Lost
Now: Angels and Devils: A Couple's Guide to Living a Good Life in a Bad World

Then: Animal Farm
Now: March of the Pigs: A Tale About Revolutions, Windmills, and Becoming (Almost) Human

Two posts in and thread killed... :(

SI

Then: Jane Eyre
Now: The Jane Eyre Story: How A Plain Girl Found Happily Ever After

Then: The Art of War
Now: The Art of War: Overcoming Meddlers, Managers and Middlemen to Achieve Success

Then: Pride and Prejudice

Now: Arrogant Racist Teabaggers in Love

I'm sorry, I know it's political... I just couldn't resist. :)

Then: Moby Dick
Now: Great White Nope: How Whaling Is Destroying Nature's Most Magnificent Creature

Then: The Jungle
Now: Weinerland: The Hidden Horrors of Our Hot Dog Factories

Then: War & Peace
Now: Europe in Flames: Based on actual events!

Then: For Whom the Bell Tolls
Now: "Where you at?"

Then: As You Like It
Now: It is What It Is

Uhmmm...how would Cam rename The Stranger?

Then: Pride and Prejudice
Today: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Dial Meh for Murder: How Homicide Helped Me Understand the Benign Indifference of the Universe




What, you were thinking I'd go with a song title from the Cure? :p

Heh. Ironically enough, I'll be delivering a lecture to my sections tomorrow that I'm calling "Bringing Sexy Fighting Back: Sun Tzu's The Art of War, Business, And You"

Paper Lion
Paper Lion, or My Improbable Journey to Detroit's Starting QB Job


Exodus 34: 11-27
10 Can't Fail Tips for Eternal Paradise!!

divisiveness aside, Cam is just killing this thread

(in a good way, his titles are brilliant)

Then: I, Robot
Now: Me, Robot

Then: Leviathan, The Matter, Forme and Power of a Common Wealth Ecclesiasticall and Civil
Now: The Government Wants to Rule your Life, and Why this shouldn't Bother You

Then: Mein Kampf
Now: I'm OK, You're OK, People Not Like Us are Not OK

Then: Silent Spring
Now: Coverup! How Big Business will Kill Everything in the World!

Then: The Elements of Style
Now: Strunk & White's Guide to Everything Grammar, Sponsored by Random House

Then: The Right Stuff
Now: Adventures in Space, or Your Grandpa Was A Stud

You crushed me with your first post, and sent my spirits soaring with this one. :)

I lol'ed.

Then: Are You There God, It's Me Margaret.
Now: Is Anyone Reading My Tweets? It's Me Margaret.

Then: Then Again, Maybe I Won't
Now: Then Again, Maybe I Shouldn't Have Posted Those Pics on Facebook

:D

SI

Then: One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Now: Chicken Soup for the Russian Peasant's Soul

Then: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Now: Chief and McMurphy's Excellent Adventure!
(ok, maybe not)

SI

Then: Revelation
Now: The Idiot's Guide to the Apocalypse

Then: First Amendment - Freedom of Speech
Now: First Amendment - I Can Share My Opinion as Long as Its Politically Correct

The First Amendment isn't a book.

Then: The Idiot, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Now: My Political Thoughts, by Charlie Sheen

:D

Then: The Iliad
Now: And The Horse They Rode In: The Courageous and Cunning Heroes of Troy

Then: The Odyssey
Now: 10 Years Gone: Misadventures in the Mediterranean with Witches, Goddesses, and One-Eyed Sheep Eaters.

You really do have a talent Cam.

This -


and this -



are pure f'ing gold.

Then: The Miller's Tale
Now: National Lampoon - The Landlord's Wife

Then: The Personal Memoirs of U.S. Grant
Now: There'd be no U.S. without Grant. How a Hard Drinking Hero Saved the Nation

Then: Summa Theologica
Now: Finding God in Everything: Daily Questions for Spiritual Affirmation (Updated to include the Prosperity Gospel!)

I'd have gone with iRobot. :)

Nice!

And thanks for the kind words... I only wish writing witty updated book titles paid as well as writing witty books.

Then: Little House on the Prairie
Now: Agri-Business Startups in an Era of Hostile Competition

Then: 1984
Now: 1984: An Alternate History Novel

Then: Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
Now: Goths and Vandals: The End of Society As We Know It

Then: To Kill a Mockingbird
Now: Southern Justice: A Look at American's Race Relations

Then: The Twits
Now: The People with Intellectual Challenges (for the PC crowd)

Then: Lolita
Now: The Joey Buttafucco Story

Then: The Oxford English Dictionary
Now: A Collection of Word Lists from Various English Variants, Abridged

Then: The Longest Day
Now: Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Day of the Greatest Year of the Greatest Generation

Then: A Christmas Carol
Now: Sixth Sense II: All Grown Up

Then: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Now: Dude, Where's My Raft?

Then: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Now: Keep Fucking That Chicken

Alternate version:

Then: Lolita
Now: Please Don't Stand So Close To Me (In Public): That Famous Book By Nabokov

:lol: :lol: :lol:

i laughed so hard at this one i almost stop breathing.