Advice for those expecting their 2nd child
 

There is always a lot of advice from people about handling your first kid, but I rarely see anything about handling your second one. Any one have any advice on this? I know a lot of things are the same (no sleep, diapers, feedings, etc), but anything we should be doing now to prepare ourselves and our 2 1/2 year old daughter for the January 18th due date? Anything we need to do once the baby comes that isn't obvious while going through it?

Listen to the doctor when they say that your wife will be extremely fertile after having the baby. Our 2nd and 3rd kids are 10.5 months apart. The wife went in for her checkup (i think 10 weeks) only to find out she was pregnant again. Let's just say it was a bit of a surprise. After kid #3 she would not sleep in the same room with me for a while.:)

In dealing with the 2.5 yr old I recommend keeping her inbvolved in almost everything about the pregnancy, talk to her about having a little brother or sister, about the baby in mommy's belly. Everything. make it all very positive and tell her how awesome it will be to be a big sister.

My daughter and son are 18 months apart and they adore one another. its very relieving to not have them screaming at one another every moment of every day.

Granted they still have their MOMENTS.......


Good Luck!

Get a vasectomy. ;)

I concur.

My daughters are 18 mos apart. My oldest was kept very involved. She even helped change diapers.

ours was a pretty seemless transition. don't really recall any real preparation, other then having a gift ready for Graham from his new sister when he met her in the hospital for the first time.

our two sons have 7 years between them, sorry I won't be much help. :)

FM

Definitely play up the big sister aspect - let her help get ready for the new babies arrival, we also had our new baby buy a toy for our existing kids as a present when they arrived - cheesy, but both Jake and Haley loved it when they were little.

When the baby arrives try and encourage people who visit to remember to pay attention to your 2 1/2 year old as well - nothing sours a relationship like jealousy (between your daughter and the baby) so try and keep the attention balanced if possible, after all your daughters going to have enough to adapt to with you having to share your time between her and a (possibly) demanding baby.

Definitely put aside some one-on-one time with the older sibling to let them know they are still special. Our 4 year old boy and 10 month old daughter adore eachother. I hope it stays that way. My brother and I fought for 20 years.

Thanks for all the advice. We have definitely been playing up the big sister stuff, and she's very excited for the baby to get here.

I can not help much as we have 5 years between our kits.

Can only say that the second time is a lot more relaxed as you been thru it all before and know what to expect.

Honestly, I don't think that you are going to see that much difference between one and two. You are already doing, or were recently doing the same stuff. You really won't be that much busier, just a little more prep.

Now going from one to two is one thing. Going from two to three is a different story. Much harder, since you just don't have enough arms.

That's what my wife and I have figured out.

I think getting the older one involved with taking care of the baby is overrated. Yeah, she's part of it and that's better than being ignored, but that still means the family's focus is on the baby. Its more important to set time aside for each parent to focus on the older sibling.

Agree with this. We had to do this three times, and still feel like the 3rd child is often overlooked. As others have said though, just make sure the 2 1/2 year old is involved with things and doesn't get ignored. Everything else will work itself out.

Only thing I have for you is don't be surprised if everything you learned with the first one doesn't apply to the second. Our two kids are like night and day when it comes to routines/temperament, etc.

My wife and I just had our second less than 2 months ago -- both girls -- and the transition has been remarkably easy so far. We did most of the things mentioned in this thread. In addition, we got 3 children's books about becoming a big sister and read them to her frequently. By the time the baby came, she had had plenty of time to sort things out in her head and has been very positive through the entire process.

I have found that the birth puts more tension on my elder daughter's relationship with her Mom than with me since she is the one that has to go feed the baby every three hours and needs to disappear for naps more often during the day. Part of my job is to figure out ways that I can help both to get some quality one-on-one time together.