Articles like this make me miss living in Italy
 

Topless sunbather accused of sensuously rubbing in sun cream | News.com.au

Priceless quote from her lawyer:

This kind of shit does not happen in Colorado...and it makes me sad. I need someone to hold me...where's Pumpy?

Police were called to a beach at Anzio south of Rome by a furious mother who said the way the “attractive” sunbather was rubbing lotion on her body had “troubled her sons aged 14 and 12.”

....

Can someone else write the punchline for this joke, I got nothing....

Perhaps in Italian, the word for "troubled" is slang for "got raging boners"?

haha.. I bet some of her lotion was on the front of their pants..

It really bothers me when my neighbor with the D-cups does the same things, although that's not quite the same since he's a 300-lb man and he's using gravy instead of sunscreen.

How long before her Maxim spread appears?