The Ultimate Two-Hit Wonder
 

With all the information available, we ought to be able to chart this out. We'll make it something of a contest -- come up with a singer/band/act who best fits the criteria as a "two hit wonder."

Here's how we'll score it:

For each song, the score is:

(11 - top US chart position with a maximum value of 11 for chart position) squared (edit: chart position means the main chart, not some subsidiary specialty chart, forgive me if I fail to get terms perfect)
PLUS
number of other countries where the song hit #1

(for our purposes, you're going to need the top three scores from your artist)

For each entry, its score equals:

Score for top-scoring song
PLUS
2X score for second top-scoring song
PLUS
4x differential in years of release of above songs
MINUS
10x score for third top-scoring song (edit: zero points minimum here, no negative values)
MINUS
(edited in after comments: 101- top US charting position for the third top-scoring song... >100 or no single = zero points here)

Post your nominations and scores in this thread. Have at it.

FWIW, I have a strong candidate for the eventual winner in mind, but have not done any research or confirm/deny yet.

Which US chart are we going off of? Even Billboard has had several different ones over the years.

Also, for the 3rd song, if it is outside the top ten, then it will be a negative number and thus increase the total score?

Lemme see if I got this.

My entry: Crowded House

Top Song: Don't Dream It's Over (1986)
US Top Charting: #2
Other Countries reached #1: 2
Score: ((11-2)*(11-2)) + 2 = 83

Second Song: Something So Strong (1986)
US Top Charting: #7
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-7)*(11-7)) + 0 = 16

Third Song: World Where You Live (1986)
US Top Charting: #65
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score ((11-65) * (11-65)) + 0 = 2916

Band total:
83
+
(2 * 16)
+
(4 * 0)
-
(10*2916)

Total: -29045

Okay, since there's a band I always think of immediately when I hear the phrase "two-hit wonder", I'll put this out here as a way of testing this out. I can be the bad example that gets corrected to help everybody else do it right ;)

edit on the fly ... I think I see a problem here, or else I'm reading the instructions wrong.

Here are the chart positions for the three songs #10, #13, #76

The subtract from 11 & then square part of the formula (as I'm reading it) punishes them, especially for the gap on the 3rd song (but that should actually help)

Orrrrrr ... maybe I'm reading this wrong, and confusing "top scoring" with "top charting" Let's see what happens.


11-76 = (-65) squared = 4,225
11-13 = (-2) squared = 4
11-10 = 1 squared = 1

So, absent the int'l number ones, the base score here is
4,775 + 8 (2*4) - 10 (aka 1*10) = 4,781
???

edit to add: I see Cartman went with my first interpretation of this (instead of the one I showed) ... obviously one of us is confused

Fucking dorks.













































(snickers)

Is there any clarification for side projects, one offs, and cougar/cougar mellancamp/mellancamp scenarios?

There's my choice... Crap

I'm thinking cartman might have it right, because the 3rd song (the non-hit) will always be the "top scoring" song and I don't really see the point in measuring the years between one of the hits and the non-hit. I'm only guessing, but I think doing that would be for the purpose of giving a band extra points for having their 2 hits separated by several or more years.

Maybe I've got it wrong, but it seems to me that the points total will be decided entirely by the non-hit. Doing it the way Jon or cartman did it gives a total that's only a few points off from the non-hit's score.

Also, it would depend on what you consider the "ultimate two-hit wonder". When I first read it, I thought of a band that has had two mega-hits, but then barely reached the charts otherwise. But it could also mean a band that has had two mega-hits, and barely just missed out on their 3rd best song also being considered a hit. (IOW, the best charting two-hit wonder that just oh so barely missed out on being considered a great band overall.)

But then again, I just woke up and haven't had my coffee yet. My brain hasn't finished fully booting up yet. I think I'm missing something.

My immediate thought was Spin Doctors (#7, #17, #42). I thought their two hits did better, and I never heard of the 3rd song and was surprised they charted that high with it.

Also, what countries are considered legitimate to contend for #1? Wiki only lists 5, for example.

I suspect Crowded House is a better example than the one I had in mind -- Golden Earring -- but I'm still curious to see how this was actually supposed to be scored.

Naked Eyes was the band I thought of initially (Always Something There To Remind Me and Promises, Promises) but it turns out they had two other songs that touched Top 40 in the US so there must be better candidates out there.

But man those two songs are something! That was who first came into my mind as well.

Bonnie Tyler

1983 Total Eclipse of the Heart(#1 in US) and 8 other countries.

108

1977 Bonnie Tyler "It's a Heartache"(#3 in us and #1 in 8 countries)
2*56=112

Plus 4*6 year differential=24


Holding out for a Hero #34 in US---obviously this isn't going to beat Cartman's #60 something, but I feel like she had 2 massive hits and not much else so I think the scoring is probably off.

I found a more extreme example than Crowded House.

Entry #2: Suzanne Vega

Top Song: Luka (1987)
US Top Charting: #3
Other Countries reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-3)*(11-3)) + 0 = 64

Second Song: Tom's Diner (1990)
US Top Charting: #5
Other Countries Reached #1: 3
Score: ((11-5)*(11-5)) + 3 = 39

Third Song: Solitude Standing (1987)
US Top Charting: #94
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score ((11-94) * (11-94)) + 0 = 6889

Total:
64
+
(2 * 39)
+
(4 * 3)
-
(10*6889)

Total: -68736

Scoring system seems a little broken, but how about Tone Loc? Singles charted 2, 3, and 80.

I'm calling DNA featuring Susan Vega shenanigans on Cartman :)

Suzanne Vega seems more like a real 2 hit wonder to me than Crowded House, probably because Crowded House were a reasonably successful band in the UK for about 10 years. They have had enough radio play here that I know the lyrics to at least two other Crowded House songs, and I am not even a fan.

Wang Chung jumped into my mind, but they apparently had another decent hit (besides Dance Hall Days and Everybody Have Fun Tonight) called "Let's Go."

Surprisingly U2 only had 2 #1: with or without and still haven't found

What about The Knack? My Sharona (no. 1), Good Girls Don't (no. 11)

Wow, everyone did the same google search. I was trying to dig and see if Madness has another song besides Our House that charted here. They would seem to be a good candidate.

If not for the year differential bonus, Vanilla Ice would be a strong contender. "Ice Ice Baby" was a #1 in several countries and "Play That Funky Music" hit #4 in the US and was top 20 worldwide. Next highest was #52.

Sorry for the scoring horrors erupting in my brief absence.

My thinking:

-the main billboard chart, not looking for country/adult contemporary/whatever

-no negative scores, which would pretty obviously upend the whole system

-I think in the interests of making this more interesting, I will (with my apologies) alter the scoring for the #3 song to try to separate out the #80 charting song versus the #15, which the initial system does not do.

Will adjust above, sorry for the headfake.

One more calculation added -- points for the worst showing of single #3, we'll subtract 1 point for every notch below 100.

So, for Crowded House:

Top Song: Don't Dream It's Over (1986)
US Top Charting: #2
Other Countries reached #1: 2
Score: ((11-2)*(11-2)) + 2 = 83

Second Song: Something So Strong (1986)
US Top Charting: #7
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-7)*(11-7)) + 0 = 16

Third Song: World Where You Live (1986)
US Top Charting: #65
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score = 0

Band total:
83
+
(2 * 16)
+
(4 * 0)
-
0
-
35

Total: 80

Entry #2: Suzanne Vega

Top Song: Luka (1987)
US Top Charting: #3
Other Countries reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-3)*(11-3)) + 0 = 64

Second Song: Tom's Diner (1990)
US Top Charting: #5
Other Countries Reached #1: 3
Score: ((11-5)*(11-5)) + 3 = 39

Third Song: Solitude Standing (1987)
US Top Charting: #94
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score 0

Total:
64
+
(2 * 39)
+
(4 * 3)
-
0
-
6

Total: 148

My entry is not going to win, due to a third song that I have no recollection of:

IRENE CARA

#1 What A Feeling 1983 #1 US + 2 more that I find = 102

#2 Fame = 1980 #4 US + 2 more than I can find = 38

#3 Breakdance = #8 US + no more= 4

102 + 76 + 3 years - 40 - 96 = 45 too bad, so sad

So if I'm reading things correctly here, Golden Earring basically breaks the scoring system because their two hits weren't higher than #10. Right?

Asia?

Heat of the Moment/Only Time Will Tell

Damn Yankees: High Enough/Don't Tread on Me

Well, not really breaks. Just doesn't get you any useful points.

I tried rewriting again...no, we don't want some asshat artist with two trivial songs that charted 98 and 99 to break the bank here, so I rewrote again to try to eliminate that... the chart position is 1 to 10 yielding points, or 11+ yielding a zero.

And yes, this system does fail a song like "Radar Love" that seems to have clicked and stuck beyond its chart position.

Don't Cry screws them up for this, it hit #10 and sits in between your #4 and #17.


HE hit #3 while DTOM didn't crack the top 100. '92 Where You Goin Now was a #20 though, with Come Again their third biggest main chart hit at #50.

On the other hand, they've got too many hits if you looked at the rock chart, with a total of 7 top 10 songs.

Another thought at a scoring system with just three simple rules:

• If Song3 > 201 then Song3 = 201
  (If the song is ranked lower than 200, then assign it 201 for the purposes of having a number there)
• Song1 >= 10, Song2 >= 10
  (Song 1 and song 2 must be a Top 10 hit)
• ThreeHitWonder = (Song3-Song1)^2 + (Song3-Song2)^2
  (Score = the difference between songs 3 and songs 1 and 2, each value squared and added)

It doesn't really reward for higher hits within the top 10 like QS was going for originally. But the points difference between a #2 vs a #5 doesn't matter nearly as much but we can all agree both are hits, right? It puts a ton of emphasis on that third song being something not at all popular. After all- isn't that the point? The third song is something no one has really heard of while the top two have a very rigid criteria for being a hit.

SI

I thought Meatloaf would have been a contender but just one too many big songs.

This was who I thought of immediately.

Glenn Frey has a 2, 2, 15 set (no foreign #1s, 1 year split) = 77

Vanilla Ice?

Someone else can grade 'em because I don't understand the grading system, but here's a couple that came to mind:

• Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina and Wild Thing were his only two big singles.
• A Taste of Honey - they had something called Boogie Oogie and one other hit, but never heard anything else by them.
• Paula Cole - I Don't Want to Wait and Where Have the Cowboys Gone was a flash in the pan.

MC Hammer?

2 legit to quit and Hammertime?

That's the way I am. Grading system is too in flux...


Ugly Kid Joe had a 6, 9, and never charted again

Nah, you forgot "Have You Seen Her" and "Pray."

My first thought was Men Without Hats (other than a group mentioned the other day which might have been the inspiration for this question). Pop Goes the World didn't get high enough though.

Paula Cole with Where have all the Cowboys Gone (#8), I Don't Want to Wait (#11) and her third song Me (#35) ends up with a negative score.

Tone Loc

Top Song: Wild Thing (1988)
US Top Charting: #2
Other Countries reached #1: 1 (NZ)
Score: ((11-2)*(11-2)) + 1 = 82

Second Song: Funky Cold Medina (1989)
US Top Charting: #3
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-3)*(11-3)) + 0 = 64

Third Song: All Through the Night (1991)
US Top Charting: #80
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: 0

Total:
82
+
(2 * 64)
+
(4 * 1)
-
0
-
21

Total: 193


A Taste of Honey

Top Song: Boogie Oogie Oogie (1978)
US Top Charting: #1
Other Countries reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-1)*(11-1)) + 0 = 100

Second Song: Sukiyaki (1981)
US Top Charting: #3
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-3)*(11-3)) + 0 = 64

Third Song: I'll Try Something New (1982)
US Top Charting: #41
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: 0

Total:
82
+
(2 * 64)
+
(4 * 3)
-
0
-
60

Total: 180

My nomination,

The Byrds

Top Song: Mr. Tambourine Man (1965)
US Top Charting: #1
Other Countries reached #1: 1 (UK)
Score: ((11-1)*(11-1)) + 1 = 101

Second Song: Turn! Turn! Turn! (1965)
US Top Charting: #1
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: ((11-1)*(11-1)) + 0 = 100

Third Song: Eight Miles High (1966)
US Top Charting: #14
Other Countries Reached #1: 0
Score: 0

Total:
101
+
(2 * 100)
+
(4 * 0)
-
0
-
87

Total: 214

Wouldn't really consider them a two hit wonder myself, but having that second #1 and no other top 10 (in the US, at least) songs seems to break this formula.

You take it back! No dissing Bonnie Tyler!

Holding out for a Hero from Footloose, Have you Ever Seen the Rain?, Straight from the Heart (Bryan Adams cover), Faster than the Speed of Night, plus some other really good sleepers. Sigh, not enough love for her, although she was apparently much more popular in Europe. For those that watched The Voice this past season, I think Juliet Sims is a Bonnie Tyler clone...

Like others, not really sure on the scoring system, but throwing one out. No idea how high the two "hits" ever ranked, but Matthew Sweet with Girlfriend and Sick of Myself.

Problem is there may not be any other singles that even reached the charts.

Girlfriend never broke the top 100 (although it was a top 10 Rock chart track)
Sick got to #58
We're the Same was #113

Matthew Sweet Songs (Top Songs / Chart Singles Discography) ••• Music VF, US & UK hits charts

Doesn't quite fit the formula, but Everlast if you include his solo career and his time with House of Pain under the same banner.

Jump Around was #3, What it's Like was #13 and the next highest song he had was Shamrocks and Shenanigans at 65.

I'm thinking Mr. Mister oughta be in here.

(On the US chart)

10cc

1975 - I'm Not in Love #2

1977 - The Things We Do for Love # 5

1977 - People in Love #40

(Although technically, in 1970 under the name "Hotlegs" they had a #22 song in Neanderthal Man.)

My match sucks + it won't win anyway...