Holy Mach 5!
 

In preparation for an office move, I've been slowly cleaning off/out my desk for the first time in roughly a decade. (And, you know, I inherited the desk -- I uncovered a departmental phone list from Sept. 1982.)

I just found a diecast matchbox-type Mach 5 under a pile of paper that I'd completely forgotten about. I ordered it online close to ten years ago, put it on my desk, and promptly forgot about it.

You know you're living the First World with First World problems when finding a surprise Mach 5 will make your day.

Is that the razor?

You fail. Go to the back of the line.

To be fair, it's not obvious Drake is talking about Speed Racer in the first post. The Razor is a good guess.

I thought of Speed Racer and not a phone. :)

Except for the mention of "matchbox" type.

He's off and flyin' as he guns the car around the track! He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back! Adventure's waitin' just aheeeeeeeAAAAAAAaaaad!

How are we to believe this without photographic evidence? Mach 5henanigans.

Better?

Looks like Darth Tater is about to slice the Mach 5 in half.

First thing I thought of was razor as well.

Likely because I was never into Speed Racer.

I've now found 4 more matchbox cars, 8 action figures, 3 star wars lego guys, the complete set of "The Phantom Menace" Happy Meal toys, two sets of battery operated Christmas LED lights, five issues of "If" and "Imaginative Tales" magazines from the 1950's, a rubber chicken, a pair of glow-in -the-dark skeleton gloves, a working light-up yo-yo, two plush baby seals (one with a hammer, the other that bleats when you squeeze its belly), a glow-in-the-dark skull, two (formerly) unopened packages of the Pirates card game, a resin statue of the leaning tower of Pisa, the white gold wedding band from my first marriage (in a tin of mints, no less), another (unopened) tin of Cthulhu mints, a tin of zombie mints, a copy of Windows on 3.5", a copy of CADKEY 97 (no idea what the fuck that even is...inherited it with the desk), a desk-sized disco ball, and a Garfield Pez dispenser.

I'm about half done. I'm thinking that if I keep digging tomorrow, I might find Paris Hilton's virginity in here.

I have no photographs of my wife on my desk (though I do have a signed 8x10 of Nicole Kidman). I'm pretty sure the sig is a fake, but as long as no one tells me that it's fake, I can believe whatever I damned well want.

How big is your desk??

CADKEY is a drafting program. I used it in my high school drafting class. And holy heck on the amount of sceculative fiction (nerd) stuff you keep in and around your desk.

I thought this was about a new razor as well.

A plush baby seal with a hammer? Is that for clubbing them?

SI

That's exactly what it's for. It was a stress reliever toy. I wanted one where you'd squeeze it and its eyes would pop out, but I couldn't find one of those. So instead my wife got me a baby seal I could club with a hammer.

The funny thing is that I remember acquiring most of the toys. Some were things I bought for my desk, others were from the period where my kids decided I didn't have anything to play with at work, so they'd slip toys into my lunch bag so I'd have something to do all day. Most of them have just been buried under paper, notebooks, software manuals, etc., etc., for so long that I forgot they were even there.

I don't use 98% of my desk, so I never had the urge to clean it.

The whole day has been like cleaning out the toy chest when I was a kid. Mom would tell me to get rid of the old toys in prep for Christmas or whatever, and it would end up taking the whole day because I'd re-discover toys that I thought were lost. I highly recommend stuffing your desk with toys and letting them sit there for ten years. It's full of fun memories.

This is the Mary Poppins bag of desks. I wish I something in my possession that had 10 years of forgotten awesomeness stashed inside it, just sitting there in the dark depths of inexistence waiting for a curious hand to once again bring it back to life.

Maybe I should buy a desk tomorrow..

I can barely go 6 months without clearing off my desk entirely. I can't even imagine 10 YEARS going by.

how many cans of Pledge did it take to clean that mess?

=)