Front Office Football Central

1. Screw flying, especially after this whole Malaysia Airlines thing. Stupid and his friends are gonna pile into his Jeep Grand Cherokee and roadtrip to which popular spring break destination?

Daytona Beach, Florida – 8
Panama City, Florida – 6
Florida -4
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida – 4
Cancun – 1
South Padre Island, Texas- 1

More of a Florida bias than I'd have expected, but there's no denying that Florida and stupid go together like PB&J. https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

2. Ah, the classic road trip with all of your bros. Which artist or musical group are Stupid and his bros jamming out to the most on their sick playlist as they travel across the country?

Eminem – 3
Dave Matthews Band – 2
Led Zeppelin - 2
All Others (Flo Rida, Kanye West, Robin Thicke, Jay Z, Jack Johnson, Springsteen, Bastille, Kid Rock, Macklemore, Nirvana, Mötley Crüe, Beach Boys, Jimmy Buffet, Willie Nelson, Bon Jovi, Metallica, Katy Perry) - 1 each

Quite the spread on this one. I probably would have been on my own with something like Avicii or Skrillex.

3. Unfortunately, the jam session got a little too intense in the car and they missed an exit somewhere. Looks like Stupid and co. are gonna have to spend the night somewhere and make the rest of the trip tomorrow (although nowhere too fancy; don't want to cut too much into the liquor budget). Where do they end up staying?

Motel 6 - 9
Holiday Inn/express – 5
Super 8 – 2
Hotel -2
Tallahassee – 1
Alabama – 1
Atlanta – 1
Red Roof Inn– 1
Budget Inn – 1
In the car -1

Almost immediately after posting, I wished I had specified the question with "which hotel chain," but I kept it open-ended because I thought more people would go with the sleeping in the car option (Alf knows how to prioritize, at least).

4. Alright, they've finally arrived - time to cut loose! What are Stupid and his friends drinking to get a good buzz going before heading out?

Beer – 8
Bud light – 7
Vodka – 2
PBR – 1
Natty Light - 1
Budweiser – 1
Jack Daniels - 1
Tequila – 1
Jaeger bomb -1
Shots -1

A sad day in Anheuser Busch headquarters as they realize that despite their multimillion dollar advertising budget, Stupids across America still prefer generic beer.

5. Since Stupid is still 20, he has to rely on his fake ID to get served at the club (don't worry, his guy that hooked him up is totally legit). It's not from California or New York or someplace where bouncers have seen tons of IDs and can easily spot a fake, but it's also not from somewhere unique like Hawaii or Wyoming that would attract too much attention. So, which state does Stupid's ID say he's from?

Ohio- 6
Pennsylvania – 4
Illinois – 3
Texas- 2
Wisconsin – 2
Michigan – 2
Florida – 2
Virginia – 1
Hawaii - 1
Georgia – 1

Strong Rust Belt representation for the fake ID states.

6. Wow, there are tons of attractive members of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if that's how Stupid rolls) here, but for some reason he's about to dial up his ex from back home. Someone better grab his phone - this isn't going to end well! What time must it be for Stupid to be making such a questionable decision?

12am – 11
2am – 8
3am - 3
1am – 2

It was bound to be right on the hour, but which hour? I'm taking these answers to be at least semi-autobiographical and using them as a referendum on how well certain FOFC members can hold their liquor. Don't worry, I'll keep it as confidential as the final results will allow :)

7. Uh oh. Stupid just woke up in a strange place and everything's still a little fuzzy. Someone's gonna have to come bail him out, because he got booked for public intoxication. What was Stupid's BAC when he got arrested?

.2 – 13
.1 – 9
.16 – 1
.02 - 1

Note that I took the liberty of adding a decimal point to answers such as "10" and "20" to place them in the realm of physiologically possible outcomes.

And, the results:

Code:

Puking their guts out                

claphamsa        972        0.07%

NobodyHere        1430        0.10%

Alf        3888        0.26%        

korme        5148        0.35%        

britrock88        5460        0.37%

Lathum        5824        0.39%

B&B        7128        0.48%        



                

Left their bar tab open        

cartman        7488        0.51%

Abe Sargent        11088        0.75%

Subby        14560        0.98%

path12        14976        1.01%

PurdueBrad        14976        1.01%



                

Went on a pretty solid bender        

Suburban Rhythm        15840        1.07%

CU Tiger        16016        1.08%

nilodor        22176        1.50%

lighthousekeeper        34560        2.33%

jbergey22        34944        2.36%

Young Drachma        41184        2.78%



                

Judging the wet t-shirt contest        

cmp        46332        3.13%

albionmoonlight        57024        3.85%

General Mike        82944        5.59%

Butter_of_69        126720        8.55%

Pyser        228096        15.38%





                

President of ΦΟΦΚ                 

flere_imsaho        314496        21.21%

Congrats to flere, and thanks to everyone who participated!