Silliest Things You've Heard During Sex
 

There you go JAG, I did it for you. I'll start.

"Is it in yet?"

Oh wait, that's not silly. It's sad. Oh well, at least I'm still the pimp that I see in all of my fantasies. No one can ever take that away from me. EVER.

"Can we do it doggie style so I can watch the x-files."

I second the "is it in yet" but with a slight whimper in my voice. And yes, it was as pathetic as it sounds. :)

TLK

"Wrong hole"

"horsey horsey horsey"

"Do I get that promotion now?"

"Dear Lord in heaven, forgive me for the terrible and vile sin I am about to commit......."

Or.......

"Roll Tide!" "It's rollin' baby, it's rollin'!!"

I've heard that one before... :D

"Are you peeing out the window?"
"Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now."
"Spank my Pussy."
"a little bit of jelly and a whole lotta roll."
"why do you want me to wear the Barbara Bush mask?."
"you have a hair stuck to your forehead."
"oral sex aint worth it if you don't risk brain damage"
"what are doing with that egg beater?"

"I hope that's the cat making that noise."

Yeah, but did you re-direct, or keep on goin'?

.........and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.

It just did.

"I said keep the bag on!"

What can I say? I was suffocating!!! :(

overheard while at a sleepover at Marmels:

"Mom, don't forget to sign my report card."

"make me cum"

I had a good laugh at that one

That was funny. :)

"Stop wiggling your butt, you might spill my beer".

Will it taste bad when you cum in my mouth?

"Be careful, that looks like it'll hurt me. Wait, just put the head in!"

true story:

after a particularly athletic session, my wife said..."I didn't know I had it in me".

it's been a recurring joke with us ever since

"Baaaaaaaa"

Did it?

"Quick, out the back... Skydog's home!!"


I really hope that one doesn't put me in the doghouse. :)

hilarious

"You want to put your what? In my what what?"

it's hard to find a woman that appreciates the "let me put my dick in your jar of Skippy peanut butter" fetish, isn't it?

You SWORE you wouldn't tell! Damn you!

"You're not as skilled as your father"

"You're going to erase that tape when we're done, right?"

"You've only done this with me, right?"

You wanna stick that in my ass?

You wanna do what with my sister and me?

You wanna do what with my mom and me?

You wanna do what with my dad and me?

You wanna do what with the neighbors dog and me?

That wasnt a pussy fart, that was just air.

Your done already?

Your not that little

My jaw hurts

My ass hurts

My leg hurts

Are you in all the way?

"You're my first"

Yeah, sure I am whore. Now spread 'em.

"Ahhh those wacky Bush twins."

"Holy cow, what happened to Christina!?!?!? "

"Well, you're cocky, but not as funny as I'd hoped."

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!

"I haven't been fucked like that since prison!"

You guys are too good.

THOSE ARE GREAT:D:D:D

ROFL

I havent been fucked like that since I was a man!

I haven't been fucked like that since I was a hooker.

and all true

"Is it soup, yet."

"BAM"

Remembered another:

"Fuck me like I'm a fat bitch"

Not sure what she meant by that, but then she screamed harder, so I guess it has to do with being able to do fat women harder b/c of the extra meat.

Damn that bitch was a slut, thank god I have a good Christian girl now :(...but at least she calls me god in bed.

"Did I mention the video camera?"

"On second thought lets turn off the light"

"To think of it I was trying to pick up your friend"

"I hope you are as good lookin sober"

"I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs"

"When is this suppose to feel good?"

"That leak better be the from the water bed"

"Is that you or is your matress stuffed with rotten potatoes"

"Its sure nice to be with a woman that I dont have to inflate or blow up"


"Wow you are almost as good as my ex!"

"I really hate women who think sex is suppose to mean something"

"I'm gonna need another beer to do this"

"I don't speak dog, but she sounds happy!"

*Zzzzzzzzz*

Wow I wish my sex life was this interesting...

"Baby please tell that was pre-cum that just went in my mouth."


:)

noop